It's safe to say your exes are exes for a reason. Something in your relationship just did not work out, and while it may have hurt at the time, you're better in it for the long run. Though, certainly, if all your past paramours were to gather in one place they might have something to say to you.
Reddit user, u/dRPhantom93, wanted to know what your worst fears are when they asked:
If your exes all gathered in a room, what's one thing they would unanimously agree on?
The Times Have Certainly Changed
"HE'S A DRUNK LAZY F-CKER!"
Then my current Fiancee would look very confused because I've been alcohol free for 4 years and I certainly do not behave how I use to.
Change For The Worse
That they all remember me as being much more happy and full of life than I am now.
Simply Out Of It
They'd most likely agree that I was sweet to them and never violent. They'd also all have similar experiences with me appear to 'check out' of the relationship via playing video games and ignoring them. (it's subconscious and im working on it)
I also villainized all of them when we broke up and cut off all contact because it was easier for me to cope. So, that would probably be mentioned.
The First Step Is Self-Awareness
That I was a fun and sweet boyfriend but have too many issues stemming from my super-religious upbringing to survive in long term relationships.
EDIT: For those asking: Jehovah's Witnesses.
Moderation Is Not In My Dictionary
Pretty sure this would be unanimous.
- He is funny. / He can be inappropriate.
- He is a good cook. / He likes things too spicy.
- He really likes beer. / He likes beer maybe a little too much.
Steer Into Your Beanbag Status
Giphy
That I make a better bed than a boyfriend.
Every single gf I've had has said, unprompted, that I am unbelievably comfortable to lie on
You Might Learn From Them
They'd probably agree that I was a bit too clingy, which is why I've spent the last 4 years single in order to work on myself.
Remember folks, make sure you're stable and happy before entering a relationship - thinking someone else will magically make you happy will not make you happy unless you're with them all the time... hints the clingy part.
All You Can Do Is Apologize
That I am extraordinarily sh-t at break-ups.
Also that I mentally check-out from the relationship when under stress.
And that I am a really good cook.
There Can Be A Positive Spin To It
"She's a wonderful person, just not the right one for me."
All 3 of my ex's, including my husband, either cheated or left me for someone else.
In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
U/ronjans24 asked: What was the biggest mistake in human history?
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.
Ocean Surf GIFGiphy"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.
GiphyThe Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Social Media.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.
George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphyVoting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I