Chickens are not to be trifled with, fam.
People underestimate the chubby little velociraptors, but if you spend any significant length of time with them you'll soon find they're ferocious enough to kill. We don't normally think of them as predators, but they are downright bloodthirsty.
If chickens, particularly in groups, see blood - they go on the attack as a group and don't stop. They can, and have, scratched or pecked human beings to death - typically by tearing open veins and arteries.
We're not saying you should be afraid, just maybe don't underestimate them. If we didn't all like chicken nuggets so much it's quite possible we would be overrun by clucky murderers.
Reddit user ThomasHarrison618 asked:
What can kill you that people often underestimate?
... and yeah CHICKENS immediately came to mind for me. Not that I have a personal vendetta or anything, regardless of anything that may or may not have happened in my years owning a chicken in a small Manhattan apartment. Those stories are for another article.
Let's take a look at the stories other people had about stuff we tend to underestimate.
A Stomach Ache
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Bacteria. Appendicitis. Dad told me to man up, shut up and deal with it, and to fix my diet, and that it was just a stomach cramp that everyone gets. I'm on the smaller side and pretty fit. If I had followed that advice I would've been dead by the next day.
I had to have emergency surgery. Dad was giving me that lecture again when the doctor walked in and shut down every single point.
That's how my paternal grandmother died. Her husband, my grandfather, told her to stop complaining. She was in her 20's with 4 kids.
- ppw23
Just Passing Out
I almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning two days ago. I spent about two days just passing out in my bed, I was so tired. Eventually somebody smelled gas, because I couldn't, so they called the energy company who had somebody there maybe 30 minutes later.
Her CO meter was going off as she walked up to the door before it was even open. She said open windows and leave right now. That was when I realized I had been passing out for two days, and in such awkward positions that my back was sore as hell.
So I got to the hospital and my resting heart rate was about 130, and I was told my skin was an off color, but other than passing out I felt no symptoms. I didn't notice my heart rate was so high because it wasn't accompanied by heavy breathing like usual. I was the only one home most of the time, I might never have woke up if that had continued for much longer.
- et50292
Tylenol
Tylenol overdose... the difference between typical dose and dangerous overdose is surprisingly few pills.
- blipsman
A case I will never forget from when I was in nursing school. I was doing a rotation at the Children's Hospital and a kid who was 15 was going under for a liver biopsy. He had overdosed on Tylenol in a suicide attempt at 13. He was on his second liver transplant and, like the first, this one was beginning to reject.
It was heartbreaking to see a kid whose suicide attempt was seemingly going to eventually be successful, but only after years of attempts to reverse it :(
I'm an RN and I've seen people die of accidental Tylenol overdose. Lots of pain, taking it around the clock without paying attention to the label. It's a dangerous drug. I never take Tylenol for any reason to be honest.
Choke
Choking on your food. Eat more slowly, chew your food people it won't run away from you.
Choking on food when I'm alone and dying as a result is one of my biggest fears, tbh
Like just knowing that I'm not going to make it and slowly fading out while staring at my dog who is worried but cant help me? No thank you, I'd rather just not eat
Zzz
Falling asleep on the toilet and smashing your head on the tile. After working 12 hour shifts 14 days in a row, it nearly happened to me, luckily we had a bath mat so I just got a minor head wound.
Botox
Botox. Botox is the most lethal poison in the world, not when injected for your face, but when ingested. If you ingest about 0.00007mg of botox, it would be lethal and kill you.
I have Botox injected into my lower back to relax the muscles - I wonder if someone who tried to eat me would die? I'm sure the chances of dying at the hands of a cannibal are pretty slim, but that'd be the ultimate pay back.
Don't Bleach It!
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Using Bleach to clean up Urine .
The chemical reaction with the ammonia can create Chlorine Gas that can kill you.
Mixing chemicals together for cleaning. A guy at work did this to clean a toilet at work & ended up gassing himself. He survived, but wow.
How do people not know that? Though the smell alone is terrible so I automatically assumed it could kill you lol.
- big-spo
You are reasonably safe using household strength cleaners to sanitize your bathroom. Just don't use it to hose down the cowshed.
Wrestlemania
Wrestling with your little brother. One awkward angle and his spine and skull break and crack leaving you with a corpse. Play safe.
One of my fraternity brothers died after a drunken wrestling match with a couple friends. They were all horsing around and someone accidentally crushed his windpipe.
- gogojack
Bucket
Water buckets kill about 20 toddlers per year in the US. It happens when they inspect the bucket only to fall in head first. It's a very small risk relative to other dangers, but it's not zero.
Poop
Bearing down to move your bowels.
When I was a paramedic I used to find people dead on or next to the toilet with one floating in the bowl. When you bear down it stimulated your vagal nerve and that slows down the heart. Sometimes a bit too slow.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but everyone I ever encountered that went out that way was in their fifties or older.
- SCCock
I have epilepsy. I also have chronic constipation caused by various other medical issues. Bearing down too hard to push one out will sometimes give me a seizure.
- eekknock
I knew a boy in high school (he was a couple years below me) who died from a seizure on the toilet...not a nice way to go. He was on a camp too and they couldn't unlock the door to get to him until it was too late (not even sure if they knew straight away or just went looking for him when he didn't come back)
Cavities
A cavity can lead to sepsis.
Untreated cavity becomes abscess (abscesses are a pocket of pus in a tooth caused by an infection) infection spreads to bloodstream then you become septic.
Doesn't even need to be an abscess. Bacteria from the mouth can temporarily enter the bloodstream and lead to infection of the heart valves (endocarditis). (This can also happen in people with good oral hygiene but poor oral hygiene increases the risk).
Brush ya teeth
Abscesses which lead to septic arthritis.
I had an abscess on my gum, my phobia of the dentist (due to childhood trauma) meant I wouldn't let the dentist remove my tooth. I was 8 and developed septic arthritis. My mom tried one last time to get my tooth removed else I'd be taken to theatre. The dentist had to sit on me while a nurse and my mom held me down. Septic arthritis can kill, it can develop into sepsis which is often lethal. I was a healthy child but that abscess could've easily killed me. Do not ignore abscesses, the bacteria can get into your bloodstream and easily cause complications.
Me-ouch!
Cats...
I had a friend who nearly died from a cat bite that got severely infected, a cat got into his backyard with 3 dogs, he was trying to help the cat because it was stuck he was holding high because his dogs were jumping, it bit his wrist and within 48 hours was in hospital ICU with doctors contemplating amputating his arm from the elbow down.
He didn't blame the cat.
The Kangaroo Sanctuary
Kangaroo's can be extremely dangerous if they decide to attack. A large big red kangaroo can disembowel a person with one kick with the power it has in its legs.
A lot of people may have seen the guy that punched the kangaroo in the face, he was extremely lucky the kangaroo had the 2 dogs to worry about as well. You see for a split second the kangaroo deciding whether or not to kick the sh!t out of him but his attention turns back to the dogs, that bloke was very lucky.
Bug Bites
Won't quite cause instant death, but Insect bites or smaller injuries when not treated right can very quickly lead to blood poisoning or other nasty stuff which can very likely land you in hospitalization. Especially when your immune system is for whatever reason (recent illnesses, poor hygiene, HIV, etc.) is already weakened.
Don't neglect insect bites! Scratching them will not only further irritate your skin, but also spread the insects secretion into your blood, which encourages infections in either the surrounding skin or your bloodstream!
Also take greater care for disinfecting open wounds!
Yosemite
Yosemite National Park. Everywhere.
I live near the park and have friends that work there and hear of people dying there all the time. People climb rocks in areas roped off and marked with warnings and slip and die. People back off cliffs doing selfies. People have huge chunks of rock fall on them and crush them to death. They decide to go for a dip in the Merced River and don't realize that the current is so fierce, and get ripped to shreds when the water pushes them over massive jagged rocks.
People die there all the time. It's a thing.
- dma1965
A Melted Ice Cube
Water or slippery trash on the floor. With bad luck and a hard enough blow to the back or front of your head, a receipt or even a few drops of water on the floor can send you to your death.
I always get mad at my husband for letting fallen ice cubes melt on the kitchen floor especially because someone could skip and hit their head on the corner of the stove.
I think about death a lot. :(
Coconuts
Coconuts, an average of 50 people die a year because they were under the wrong coconut tree at the wrong time and a coconut fell on his/her head and killed them.
Crafters Beware
Glue guns. Less than 5 minutes ago I turned round and it was on fire and it was a pain to clear up (dont even ask me how it set on fire i have no idea)
Feel The Pain
Taking pain meds every time you feel pain. Unfortunately pain is natural for humans to feel, it tells us there's something wrong. Headaches can mean stress; lack of sleep, water,etc.
As a child I suffered from frequent migraines and would take advil, ibuprofen, and other over the counter pain meds almost daily. Turns out I had asthma and the lack of oxygen caused my headaches.
Unfortunately the years of pain meds have consequences. I now suffer from IBS, acid reflux, and gastritis as a result. Do not abuse over the counter meds, save pain meds for when you really need them. If you can deal with it then don't take anything. Long term it only harms our bodies.
Another downside is that I am limited in the over the counter meds I can take now because only certain ones work for me. My body has built up an immunity to most pain meds.
Straight In Your Throat
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Your own tongue, hit your head the wrong way and that f*cker is straight in your throat.
- canekobe
Get Used To It
I work in emergency services for elderly people. They sometimes forget that they take serious drugs like strong pain killers. If they take them for a long time they forget the danger coming from it and start to drink alcohol. That can kill them. So basically getting used to danger can kill you
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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