You can't choose your family.
The sad reality is that many people do not know when they're in a toxic environment until they're introduced to a healthy one. Especially children - kids only know of the small world of their households until they get an opportunity to meet more families.
Redditor u/lalaswee asked people"What made you realize that maybe your family wasn't as normal as it seemed?" and many people shared heartbreaking stories of the moments when they realized their families were abnormal and even unhealthy.
10. As it should be
"some parents actually treat their adopted and biological kids as if they're both their kids entirely and one being adopted just means the dna is different and isn't a factor in their parenting or a topic in any conversation"
9. A talkative dinner
"I was 14 and I was invited to dinner at my boyfriend's house. They were allowed to talk to each other at dinner. And they appeared to be interested in each others' lives."
8. Real life game nights
"That most people weren't afraid of their dads and family movie night or game night wasn't just a thing people made up for movies"
7. This absolutely heartbreaking misunderstanding
"When I was 6 or 7, I was invited to a sleepover and we ruined my friend's mom's make-up and clothes after playing dress-up without her permission. Her mom said, 'Claire, this is the last straw. I've had enough.'
I started packing up my things because I assumed her mom was going to call CPS and Claire was going to a new foster home. I sat on the porch waiting for the cop car, and Claire's mom came out. We had a very confusing conversation and eventually Claire's mom realized that when my mother got very drunk and sad and I tipped her over by refusing dinner or not taking a bath, she would call CPS to bring me back to foster care.
Claire's mom had a very strange facial expression. She explained that she hadn't really meant anything with that sentence, then she took us all out for ice cream."
6. Commitment issues
"When people would ask if we were a military family because of how often we moved. I went to 5 elementary schools, 2 middle schools and 4 high schools. Truth was my mom couldn't commit to a job or a marriage for very long and would start over with zero consideration for the stability of her children."
5. Cruel punishments aren't universal
"When I found out that most people dont receive punishment by being slapped and locked in the garage. I was seven"
4. Not that into "I love you"s.
"I only realised this as an adult: holding in your emotions and releasing them every few months is definitely not normal. My family aren't the most emotional of people even by British standards, we never say 'Love you' to each other."
3. Santa's appetite
"Growing up, I was told, rather than milk and cookies, to leave out a ham sandwich and a six pack of Busch Light for Santa."
2. Family addictions
"When I realised we were all addicted to my mother's pain killers. I still remember the first time at 16 finding out what opiate withdrawls were. I couldn't go to school without hydrocodone/oxycodone, Xanax and soma everyday. It made me the kid I wanted to be confident and social everything I wasn't normaly. Yet we looked like the perfect upper middle class family untill we weren't anymore. Still dealing with the consequences of the shit at 31 years old on suboxone."
1. Mom's not that mature
"I just stumbled across a book last night and discovered my mom is textbook emotionally immature. It was surreal to read, suddenly my childhood and our current relationship makes sense."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Hatí
"Haití."
"At least not until some form of functioning government actually takes place."
"After the magnicide it's been nothing but a turf war between gangs better armed to than most small countries and everybody that could, aka, the rich, left the country due to the constant threat of getting kidnapped and all the violence that has been taking place."- logiqaltech
Russia, at least for now.
"Americans might wanna put that Russia vacation on hold for a lil bit."- flip_phone_phil
Salem, Massachusetts, in the fall...
"Salem around Halloween."
"I'm a local."
"It's a damn tourist trap."
"Nowhere to park and if you haven't booked all your reservations by February you're SOL."
"The summer is a 10x better time to visit Salem."
"For those asking, I am referring to Salem Massachusetts."- jlm2299
Happy Trick Or Treat GIF by DOMCAKEGiphyThe pyramids might be best seen in pictures...
"As an Egyptian I am definitely not looking forward to reading these replies."- d7oom175
"Egypt."
"The common folk are warm and welcoming and would give you the food off their table and clothes off their backs."
"But the cops, the scammers, the vendors, phew."
"It is one big tourist trap."- TwistedChopstick
"If you’re a woman, I’ve been told that Egypt is best avoided unless you have male friends or family that can safely escort you about in public."
"Otherwise, any country in an active war."- chibinoi
Unless you never want to leave your hotel.
"I took my wife to Jamaica for our honeymoon."
"We wound up in a resort in Montego bay."
"The resort was nice but began to feel like a prison."
"If you went out people would grab her by the wrist and drag her to some shack they were selling trinkets in."
"The locals that worked in the resort were fantastic."
"Best prison guards you can imagine."- jabsaw2112
"Jamaica."
"They actively tell people to stay on resort property because they can't protect tourists otherwise."- MrPuzzleMan
Maybe one day.
"Afghanistan."
"No question about it."- DatRobloxKid
If you can't take the heat...
"Phoenix in July."
"It’s a monument to man’s arrogance."- TacoDoc
Raising Arizona Movie GIFGiphyOf course, when choosing a vacation spot, one wants somewhere where they can relax, take in the sights, and escape from their current realities for a week or so.
So, traveling to somewhere where you're constantly on alert, your mind is constantly racing, and/or there's nothing to see... might not be the best choice.
Thankfully, be it near or small, there is always somewhere to fall back on.
My favorite endings for my shows? The list is long. But The Golden Girls & Buffy are up there.
Goodbye
Cbs Cheers GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Cheers."
atahualpaFX
"Sorry, we’re closed."
livefast6221
"Ok. So the end itself was good but in the final episode they never once said NORM and it just hurts me a little when I think about it."
Maleficent_Ad_7617
Onward Story
"Avatar, The Last Airbender."
Frosty_Connection867
"Love how they continued the story in The Search and The Promise comics though. I know there are more Avatar comics but I haven’t gotten around to reading those yet. Plus it was recently announced that Avatar Studios’ first project would be an animated movie about Aang and the others as young adults. We’ll probably be seeing him and Zuko build Republic City."
Flat_Weird_5398
Genius
"The Good Place."
diphappy
"I came to say the exact same thing - I absolutely adored this show and and while I’m sad it’s over I’m also so glad they ended it when they did instead of letting it go on for too long and ruining the show."
acrossthestreetinthe
"I was told over and over to 'just watch the show for the ending.' From lots of people. So I hesitantly did so, and was like 'Yeah this is okay, but not mind blowing or anything. It's cool.'
"But holy s**t. That ending is the best ending to a TV show that's ever been made, I think.Everyone was 100% right. It was worth it. It's hard to explain without watching the show. But they did it flawlessly.I think about that show's ending all the time."
appleparkfive
A Few Issues
"Star Trek: The Next Generation."
TheriousMind101
"I liked where they left it with Picard's development - but me and my partner recoiled in horror seeing Q appear. By far our worst part of the series, such an OTT obnoxious character, with lazy storytelling. Loved the series as a whole, but to have Q end it seemed like a punch in the gut. He seemed like growing pains of the first season but just had to come back lol."
glennok
Life is Over
Six Feet Under Drinking GIF by HBOGiphy"Six Feet Under is yet to be topped."
DarthDregan
"It really was such a great and satisfying ending."
beard_lover
I can't even think about Six Feet Under without tears.
Fresh
Season 2 Dancing GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy"Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The way the cast said good bye to each other in the empty mansion to how Will turns out the lights at the end of the episode. Just an amazing series."
Musicgeek117
This War is Over
"M A S H."
Toes14
"Absolutely. As a young child in the beginning of the 1980s I distinctly recall hearing the theme melody late at night when the TV was airing reruns and sometimes catching a glimpse of the intro.That melancholic tune just touched me in ways I didn’t understand as a 4 yr old."
"When I got a bit older I was flipping through the channels and suddenly there it was: the theme melody that I had moved me when I was so little. I had stumbled upon one of the many reruns that would air for 20-40 yrs.I was a European kid growing up in the 80s and 90s."
"I didn’t know anything about the Korean War. But the show really showed the horrors, depravity and injustice of war no matter who is doing the fighting. And it did so in a way that mixed humor with tragedy without making light of the tragedy.It was brilliant.I must have seen all episodes by now. I have a terrible memory for books, movies and shows but the last episode will stay with me forever."
anewfaceinthecrowd
Too Soon
"The Sopranos. I know what I said."
DrOliverReeder
"I know what they were trying to do there and I agree that it is brilliant once you actually analyze what happened and what led up to it, but that takes hindsight and rewinding the episode and rewatching it once, maybe twice. But on the first, cold viewing, I think it was a teeny bit TOO clever and kind of toyed with the audience."
amerkanische_Frosch
Forget 9
"Scrubs. Before anyone says it, the '9th season”'(Scrubs: Med School) is 100% a spin-off. I don’t care that they tried to staple it to the original series, that was a stupid move to ride the ratings. It was entirely meant to be and written as a spin-off and you cannot convince me otherwise."
Dan*uckingSchneider
"I still get a lump in my throat when I see JD take that final walk down that hallway, seeing the faces of patients and other loved ones that passed on during his tenure, all of them wishing him well on the next step of his journey. When I retire I always imagine I'll do the same... seeing customers and co-workers I lost over the decades as I take that final walk to the front doors."
Jorro_Kreed
Phoebe
cheers champagne GIF by FleabagGiphy"Fleabag."
jubjubbirdsarefine
"Same same. I wished it could have gone on only because I enjoyed it so much, but the final season was beautiful and perfect and I cried so much during the final episode."
jubjubbirdsarefine
All great choices. I love you Fleabag.
I love to cry at movies. It makes me feel human.
Gone By...
Happy Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy"The scene in Shawshank Redemption where the elderly man laments how quickly time passed."
mojichana
Dear Dad
"Big Fish."
BelicianPixieFry
"This movie for me too, my dad is also a tall tale teller and he passed away last year. At his funeral all of his different friends showed and retold some of his crazy stories but just slightly different. Made me realize that some of his stories were true and I was living in a real life big fish movie."
Unable_Mountain_5524
Never Again
"Fox and the hound when the hound can’t be the foxes friend anymore."
_manicpixie
"I can not watch that movie at ALL!!! Right after my mom died I went to her house. That movie was in the VCR. When I hit play the movie as at that song about letting go if you love something. I just LOST IT right there. To this day I will not watch that movie and prob never will."
tectuma
Oh the Tears...
"Bridge to Terabithia. The guilt of that kid for the rest of his life."
trieditdidntregretit
"First time I ever saw my Dad cry. He thought I'd be a great Father-Daughter movie night. I just rewatched it recently and it still makes me cry."
Professional_March54
"This book and Stand By Me both made a sizeable impression on me during my youth. I hope to share these experiences with children of my own one day."
Tough-Requirement736
The End
Disney Pixar GIF by Disney+Giphy"Coco, g*ddamn Coco. I was not expecting bawling my eyes out in the last 15 minutes."
SourFartsSniffer
I can't with some of these movies. My heart can't take it.
I Hate Bees
sad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy"My Girl."
slowgoing33
"'Where's his glasses? He can't see with his glasses! It's not fair he needs his glasses to see!!'"
Ricarfo-
Let's Play
"Field of Dreams, when he's playing catch with his dad. Also, the end of The Truman Show hit pretty hard."
YteKnight696
"I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to see this one. My dad died about 20 years ago, and I would give almost anything to have a catch with him again. When Ray says in that choked up voice 'hey dad, wanna have a catch?' I just lose it."
rockychunk
Every. Time.
"It’s dumb, but the first movie I ever cried for was ‘Click’ with Adam Sandler. That scene where his father dies and he wasn’t there because the use of autopilot, so decided to revisit the last time he had seen him. His dad tells him he loves him and the autopilot version of him doesn’t give a crap, but the real him starts to cry and play the words 'I love you son’' on repeat. THIS. Has me every time."
Waytootired4this
Hey Boss
"The Green Mile."
CurlSagan
"I cried so hard watching that movie that I can't bring myself to rewatch it. Once was enough."
cmc
"Brilliant and awesome story that was understandable for a 7 year old me to start ugly sobbing for an hour in my aunt's house lol. I think it was the first time I encountered feelings against injustice and the staggering helplessness that you can't do anything to stop what's happening."
"God, it still feels like yesterday and I'm nearing 30. But the ice cream and toys I got was good too. My auntie had to bring me to the mall because I was inconsolable and continued crying on the way there. I only stopped when I had to pick an ice cream flavor lol."
Queen_Merneith
It's Ugly
life is beautiful film GIFGiphy"Life Is Beautiful."
dashing-away
"Came here to say this title. I’ve seen it once, when I was in high school around the time it came out, and I still tear up thinking about certain scenes."
ErrantCrayon
Last Breaths
"Hachiko (old and modernised version). Both versions are just as sad. It’s based on a true story. For those who don’t know, it’s about a bond of a dog and an owner. The owner walked to the train station to go to work and always brought his dog with him and the dog would always wait for him at the train station until the owner returned. The owner then died while at work and the dog continued to wait for him at the train station every single day for 9 years until his last breath."
I love movies. They make my tears feel free.
I've been dying for insight into the animal that is a bro. They're human too...
Bruno Mars GIFRank
"Do not leave your home smelling musty."
EffectiveFlatworm952
"Also, tell your friends if their home, car, them etc... smells musty. there's a time and a place of course, but often we don't notice and the note to freshen up is very welcome."
gehbfuggju
You ok?
"Check on your bros. They won’t necessarily tell you when they need help."
DomingoLee
"Lost a friend via overdose. He was exhibiting unhealthy behavior for years. I saw it, and said nothing. I later relocated and made very little effort to keep in touch. Destroys me to think what might have been different, had I reached out."
Johnny_mundo
"Seriously though, having been the bro who's dealing with depression knowing you have bros to lean on really helps."
Einar_47
Stop Breathing...
"Was in a residency program with a guy who had the worst breath any of us (all other bros) had ever smelt. When I say bad, I mean it smelt worse than if he had eaten human poop. The guy was completely oblivious to it. He’d have girls break up with him and come to us and be like 'I don’t know what happened it was going so well,' stuff like that."
"And we’d all beat around the bush and never tell him that we knew exactly why those bro-ettes dumped him. I’m ashamed to admit, my Reddit bros, that he made it through an entire 3-year residency program without any bros stepping in and hitting him with the cold hard truth. RIP to that bro."
jirski
lift me up...
Animated GIFGiphy"Support your bros; don’t tear them down when they are trying to achieve something."
Ruffled_Snout
Men really should embrace feelings more.
Find More
The One Where Estelle Dies Episode 15 GIF by FriendsGiphy"Don't fall in love with potential."
CIoud__Strife
"This comment hurt me. Learned that lesson the hard way."
kerbouchard219
Extras
"Always buy more than one stick of deodorant at a time so you’ll have a spare around when you run out. Finding out that you’re at the end right before you have to be somewhere, preferably smelling acceptable, is the worst."
anonymousone89
"As soon as I open the last container of any toiletry, it goes on the shopping list to be purchased within a week. I haven't run out once since I started doing that, and I usually buy multipacks so I don't need to shop for those things often."
loungehead
Validation
"As a guy in his mid-50s, my number 1 advice is: When you're disagreeing with someone, no matter the relationship, always validate their point first, empathize with them second, and then, and only then, make your counter-argument. Never respond to an argument with a pushback before you've validated/empathized with them."
"If you're Machiavellian about life, you'll be more likely to get what you want from someone else if they feel respected by you. If you're not Machiavellian, it's just a nice thing to do."
stumark
The One...
"Have AT LEAST one friend you can have real conversations with about your feelings. Particularly if you're in your late teens or twenties you probably don't talk about that stuff with your mates but it makes the world of difference knowing you have someone to talk to about it, even if you don't have anything to tell them just yet."
FireyBrick
Top Gun Maverick Movie GIF by Top GunThanks Bros. This was all helpful.
Do you have other tips to share? Let us know in the comments below.