You can't choose your family.
The sad reality is that many people do not know when they're in a toxic environment until they're introduced to a healthy one. Especially children - kids only know of the small world of their households until they get an opportunity to meet more families.
Redditor u/lalaswee asked people"What made you realize that maybe your family wasn't as normal as it seemed?" and many people shared heartbreaking stories of the moments when they realized their families were abnormal and even unhealthy.
10. As it should be
"some parents actually treat their adopted and biological kids as if they're both their kids entirely and one being adopted just means the dna is different and isn't a factor in their parenting or a topic in any conversation"
9. A talkative dinner
"I was 14 and I was invited to dinner at my boyfriend's house. They were allowed to talk to each other at dinner. And they appeared to be interested in each others' lives."
8. Real life game nights
"That most people weren't afraid of their dads and family movie night or game night wasn't just a thing people made up for movies"
7. This absolutely heartbreaking misunderstanding
"When I was 6 or 7, I was invited to a sleepover and we ruined my friend's mom's make-up and clothes after playing dress-up without her permission. Her mom said, 'Claire, this is the last straw. I've had enough.'
I started packing up my things because I assumed her mom was going to call CPS and Claire was going to a new foster home. I sat on the porch waiting for the cop car, and Claire's mom came out. We had a very confusing conversation and eventually Claire's mom realized that when my mother got very drunk and sad and I tipped her over by refusing dinner or not taking a bath, she would call CPS to bring me back to foster care.
Claire's mom had a very strange facial expression. She explained that she hadn't really meant anything with that sentence, then she took us all out for ice cream."
6. Commitment issues
"When people would ask if we were a military family because of how often we moved. I went to 5 elementary schools, 2 middle schools and 4 high schools. Truth was my mom couldn't commit to a job or a marriage for very long and would start over with zero consideration for the stability of her children."
5. Cruel punishments aren't universal
"When I found out that most people dont receive punishment by being slapped and locked in the garage. I was seven"
4. Not that into "I love you"s.
"I only realised this as an adult: holding in your emotions and releasing them every few months is definitely not normal. My family aren't the most emotional of people even by British standards, we never say 'Love you' to each other."
3. Santa's appetite
"Growing up, I was told, rather than milk and cookies, to leave out a ham sandwich and a six pack of Busch Light for Santa."
2. Family addictions
"When I realised we were all addicted to my mother's pain killers. I still remember the first time at 16 finding out what opiate withdrawls were. I couldn't go to school without hydrocodone/oxycodone, Xanax and soma everyday. It made me the kid I wanted to be confident and social everything I wasn't normaly. Yet we looked like the perfect upper middle class family untill we weren't anymore. Still dealing with the consequences of the shit at 31 years old on suboxone."
1. Mom's not that mature
"I just stumbled across a book last night and discovered my mom is textbook emotionally immature. It was surreal to read, suddenly my childhood and our current relationship makes sense."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
I want more looks. I'm pretty smart. I could lose a few points. What do I miss? Math? I have a calculator.
Thanks Nan...
Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy"No because according to my Nana, I am already really, really ridiculously good looking." ~ AardvarkAndy
The Hard Way
"I’d give up 15-20 IQ points to just be really ridiculously hard working." ~ garrhunter
"This is the way. 18 years of school and Uni taught me, don’t worry about trying, you soak up enough to get by. Just putting half an ounce of effort and I realised I can do stuff that actually matters to me. There are subreddits that help get disciplined, I know I’m not ready to make progress, but check a few out. If you’re in the right place in your journey, maybe you can make a difference." ~ WetDogDeoderant
Full On...
"Most definitely. I'm not that bright to begin with, so I may as well go full bimbo." ~ ATrulyTerriblePerson
"Being 'smart' hasn’t helped me that much in life, might as well give being attractive a go!" ~ blueboxreddress
ABS
"Can I give up 6 IQ points for 6 pack abs?" ~ toeofcamell
"Actually, IQ can be changed in some extent. It is measured by your ability to resolve different types of problems, so... if you're trained enough, you can actually increase your IQ score. But of course, it'll be frustrating being outsmarted by a natural genius that put no effort to progress while you spend a lifetime developing your capacities. It can go the other way, too: naturally gifted people can regress if they don't train, although it will take more time." ~ Enilemme27
Bianca Says...
bianca del rio GIF by RuPaul's Drag RaceGiphy"No because according to Bianca del Rio, one of the greatest philosophers of our time, beauty fades, but dumb is forever." ~ and-she-did-it
Looks are so subjective. Brains are forever. I'm learning.
Be Better
Olivia Wilde Reaction GIFGiphy"In a heartbeat. Unless it caused me to forget what I already know, I’m at a place in my career where I’m not learning that much, mostly relying on applying previous knowledge, and being ridiculously good looking would make my life better by making people treat me better in general." ~ Wit-wat-4
Calculations...
"No. IQ is already low enough. I can’t lose any more. Appearance doesn’t take long before it fades away anyways haha." ~ Sparkles0_
"One of the ways of calculating IQ is based off of how similar you are to peers of you own age. So test a 2 year old and they can perform at the same level as the average 4 year old and they have an IQ of 200. Or if a 10 year old is a bit delayed and is at the level of a 9 year old then they would have a IQ of 90."
"When this version of IQ is applied to some at age 50+ having a lower IQ would mean that the person is behind the average development of their peers, just in this case that development is actually a deterioration. So if one were to live to 100 and they trade 40 points they would be at the mental level of a 60 year old." ~ TheDotCaptin
Below 0
"Maybe that would push my IQ below zero and create an underflow error, turning my 18 IQ int 32768 IQ, and giving me knowledge of all things in existence, on second hand, I would probably learn something that would make me sad, so i don't wanna." ~ Warm-Swimming5903
Let's Get High
"No. As much as I would love to be ridiculously good looking, I have to remember why I personally dislike smoking weed. I can't freaking think in a straight line when I'm high. It's like I have to search for connections for things to make sense and it's frankly infuriating not being able to communicate my thoughts effectively."
"I would honestly hate to live like that day to day, even if it's not quite that bad. It's maddening when I can't make sense of things that should make sense but my brain just doesn't wrap around it. I wouldn't voluntarily take on more of that. Plus I'm already married and his eyes are already on me as I am, so I don't see any reason to do this." ~ Instant-Noods
Finding Life
Sexy Cat GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is." ~ FilsonWhisk
There is no wrong answer, née, preference here. Just be your best you. No matter how you chose.
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