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People Divulge The Most Accurate 'You'll Understand When You're Older' Experiences

People Divulge The Most Accurate 'You'll Understand When You're Older' Experiences
Pixabay

Growing up, I was pretty positive that my dad was a lunatic who was triggered by lights and ceiling fans. Then I started paying the electric bill ; hey turns out that particular bit of "lunacy" might just be genetic. So is the one that makes you really excited about a good air fryer.


He always told me I would get it when I was older. He was right - crispy fried pork chunks whenever I want them IS awesome. We DO have food at home. It can be better than what we would get at a drive-through.

I just have to do it myself. Bummer.

One Reddit user asked:

What is the single most "you'll understand it when you're older" thing?

... looks like I'm not the only one out here "growing up." Other Reddit users are out here coming to all kinds of adult realizations, and honestly they aren't all thrilled about it, either.

King Triton Was Right ... Until He Was Wrong

sad the little mermaid GIF Giphy

King Triton, Ariel's dad was right. She was just a child and she was not "in love" with the random prince she saw for all of 30 seconds.

- foundingflounders

Honestly, this is a great example of what's wrong with parent-child interactions. When we were kids, we did agree with Ariel. We were persuaded by her emotions and saw her desires as our own.

As adults, we have a fully developed brain (hopefully) and more life experience, and therefore we aren't convinced by the ephemeral, but intense emotions, that kids/teenagers have.

But rather than validating Ariel's feelings, interests, and desires, Triton's basically like: "You're wrong for feeling that way, and also I'm going to destroy your room."

Which actually happens. Parents actually do that and are then surprised when the kid turns to the only validating adult in the room, who just might be a soul-stealing witch.

I really like revisiting media as an adult, not only to see how my sympathies have changed, but also to make sure that I'm not the adult who is perpetuating the conflict by not listening. Because as an adult, I expect better from myself.

- panickedwordsmith

Always Be Friends

Friendships fading away

I remember my dad telling me all kinds of cool stories about things him and his friends did in the past. I even asked him "why aren't you still friends with these people?"

He really did basically say "it's complicated, you'll understand when you're older."

Even back then I remember thinking "that's crazy, me and my friends will always be friends."

Sitting here now in my early 30's and it really hits home.

- Slowjams

Boring Is Best

The quiet, boring, simple, times are the best. Everyone's fed, happy, healthy, chill, napping... these are the good times.

- plotthick

So true. Boring = safe. You can't be bored when in survival mode.

- Mountain_Truth_5215

When my old roommate's 7-yo would say she was bored he'd reply with something similar. And I would add, "There are no sabertooth cats lurking in the bushes."

- racestark

After losing a parent, I deeply wished I had a time machine to take me back to when my family was all happy, quiet, bored, asleep under one roof together. I often remind myself that even when things are bad, at some point later I will probably look back and say "those were the good times".

- Mikebdesign

Family Is Expensive

Money.

There was a reason that you didn't get those shoes, the PS5, a new shiny car, etc. Maintaining a home and keeping the family fed is f*cking expensive.

- diegojones4

My mom was a single mom. My dad didn't pay child support.

I grew up knowing I could never ask for anything. We never ate out. My grandmother made my clothes.

One time my mom said she couldn't afford to keep me and I would have to go live with my grandmother. I was 12. That was a horrible feeling.

I am very good with money as an adult. I know what it is like to have nothing.

- Jamiepappasatlanta

I don't know how my family afforded to have kids.

They definitely made less than like 25k/yr, sometimes WAY less or almost nothing, yet they paid for groceries and utilities and a mortgage and we still got to have presents for the holidays and stuff although there were times when we got groceries from the food bank.

I can barely afford to take care of one person and I make more than they did when I was a kid. They even indulged my expensive obsessions whenever they could and we grew up on that expensive vegetarian health food.

How????? No WAY I could take care of a family on that salary.

- Sapiencia6

Time Flies

time clock GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

Time...wasting time, and how time flies.

It's mid Dec & I'm saying to myself 'what the heck-it's been 9 months of lockdown & I can't believe this year is almost over!'

As you age it seems to go faster & faster. When I was younger I felt like time just dragged on some days.

- call-me-mama-t

The thing that is the worst about getting older is seeing your parents and other loved ones age and eventually pass away. When you're a kid (even a high school age kid) you assume these people will just be around forever and things will always stay the same as they were.

It makes it easier to be disrespectful and generally take them for granted. I'm now 35, and this year was the first where I started noticing physical limitations with my dad especially and that was hard. They're minor for now, but it's only going to get worse.

The biggest blow to me is realizing I likely have less than 20 years left with my parents. Losing that constant source of love and support will be hard to take. They've been a rock my entire life.

- 830_L

To add to this, when you're a kid everyone who is already old just continues to be old. It's like nothing really changes.

As you start seeing middle age folk transition into the elderly it's a real dose of reality.

- keepiteddiemurphy

Take The Chicken Out

Why it's so annoying when you forget to take the chicken out of the freezer

- steviebergwijn

The first time that this clicked for me I had to text my dad and say my bad.

- chefhj

My husband literally came home yesterday to me yelling at the frozen chicken I was trying to cut up.. we put it back in the fridge to thaw and ordered pizza hahaha

- kehbechet

And so you order take out, leave it to defrost in the refrigerator and then the next day you end up either not wanting to cook or forgetting it's there.

We have a joke now that we pay $30 a chicken breast bc of how much we end up not cooking. Ugh.

- furrypizzahunter

He Was Exhausted

When I was a kid my dad and I had a tradition every week of going to the video store and renting a movie or two to watch together. It was one of my favorite things to do, but I remember I used to get really upset at him because every single time we'd actually start to watch the movie he would fall asleep.

It wasn't until I was older that I realized that the reason he would fall asleep was that he was exhausted from working two very physically demanding jobs to try and give me the best life he possibly could.

On top of that, even though he was tired he still made an effort to try and start a little tradition with me and spend time with me. Those memories of me having to nudge my dad awake are so great in my eyes, because they made me realize what a caring and hardworking man he was and still is.

- -eDgAR-

You Can Still Fail

It is possible to do everything right and still fail. Don't let it consume you. Pick up the pieces and move on.

I had to learn this after a project that I was on for 3 years was sabotaged and sh*tcanned. I did some amazing work, and poured my life into that project... in the end I had nothing to show for it.

It put me in a real slump for a few years. I'm still trying to pull myself out of it without becoming a cynical and jaded a-hole.

- distrucktocon

Thank you for saying this. My unit was closed after 20 years and it has been a struggle. I try to focus on the people helped, things learned. And to find something else that gives me the same thrill. Or maybe comparable thrill.

- skuhlens

Too Sweet?

I used to drink lemonade every time I went out. At some point I switched and for years now I've drank not much other than water.

A few weeks ago I randomly decided I wanted some lemonade with my dinner, and I almost couldn't drink it. It was like pure sugar. Incredible how your taste can change over time.

- justcurious247_

When adults said something was "too sweet," I literally couldn't comprehend that phrase. It was an oxymoron to me. Sweet = Good. How can something be too good???

Now I completely understand.

- peanutsandfck

It's Not About You

What parents sacrifice just so you can do something fun.

Last night my husband and I sat in a line of cars for an hour and a half so our kids could see this cheesy drive thru light display in my town with Santa and other characters. 0/10 not worth it for us but the kids loved it and it was worth it to see them be able to do a fun Christmas activity during a pandemic.

It made me think of how much my parents had to endure taking my brother and I to theme parks and stuff as a kid just to see us happy. I appreciate it infinitely more now.

- allsfairinwar

When I was pregnant I went to visit my hometown and my friends threw a baby shower for me. I also had a few birthday presents from people for my birthday the month before.

When I was packing to go home, there wasn't room for the baby stuff + the stuff for me, so I took home all the baby stuff and left my presents behind. My Granny said she could bring them up to me at a later date.

I remember sitting there looking at my suitcase with nothing for me being like "oh, so this is how it's going to be."

- riotlady

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

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Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?