"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANEveryone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"Religion."
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphyEmotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"Geez."
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40
Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphySolo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
Alternative Methods...
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgiv
See Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphyGood Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.
Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.
Redditor SpeedyMammoth wanted to discuss why love has been kept from so many, so they asked:
"What’s stopping you from being with the person you love?"
Sometimes... it's just not meant to be.
One Sided
Love Me Do Not Want GIF by MOODMANGiphy"The feelings are not mutual."
MrTumnus__
"Same. Been 5 years. Hurts much less but a lingering pain is always there. Especially since I've not been able to find love since."
NouveauQubecois
Happy 4 U
"Thought I met my soulmate actually. We met in college and were friends for three years. Always thought he might have a crush on me but he was in a really bad relationship and I would have never gotten involved. Then they broke up, we started hanging out more and things just felt right."
"When we did start dating, it was incredible! No relationship is perfect but I’d never been so happy and in love. First time a man has looked me in the eyes and said 'I can’t wait to marry you' and honestly I still think about that some times. Anyways, he cheated on me with his ex, got back with her and then they broke up after a week or so."
"A couple of his friends left him because he just changed into a really shi**y guy and I’m actually still friends with some of them myself. Now he’s doing what he loves and I’m happy for him! I just wish things had worked out, almost two years later and I’m still struggling not to think of him every day. I really hope I can get over him and find my own happiness again."
sadsporkyy
Closed
"She wanted us to be open. I wanted us to be exclusive. I was deeply in love with her and I really miss her. I ended up breaking up with her. Aside from that one incompatibility, I think we were a near-perfect fit. We had a wonderful relationship and it ended amicably, but it’s really hard to let go of someone you genuinely love when your relationship didn’t really have any problems. It took all the willpower I had to go through with it, and it was very painful."
CaptainTripper
Life pro tip...
"She’s with someone else."
MrOuija313
"We’re both with someone else and there are kids in the picture."
"Life pro tip: the person you are the most compatible with in your teens or twenties is not necessarily someone you will always be compatible with as you get older, especially once you both realize what it means to take care of kids all day every day."
persistentporpoise
Gone
Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy"She died."
OrigamiApple
"Me too bro. Sorry for your loss. Sorry for all our losses."
Ba_Dum_Ba_Dum
"Same. I've tried again over the years. It's not the same. I'm sorry for your loss."
exactoctopus
Loss is always the one of the number one reasons.
Taylor Knows
Looking Around Music Video GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy"Me. I am the problem."
hiyesgood
"I have a lot of trauma to deal with and I’m still trying to figure out who I am as a person. I didn’t think it was fair for him to ride along until I get to a point where I was mentally healthy. Could be months. Could be years. Thankfully I’ve been in therapy for 8 months now while changing my lifestyle. I don’t expect him to wait for me so I do my best to not reach out."
hiyesgood
In Time
"Bad timing. But we always find one another. Hopefully we get together before I'm too old to enjoy it."
moffettusprime
"Exactly this. She was my first and we were too young. It never worked out for us because of bad timing. Somehow I will always have this lingering hope that we will end up together. Even though I recently met a girl I am crazy in love with and this feeling has pretty much disappeared to the background."
GreenLurch
Issues
"She doesn't want to be with me. Part of it is her trauma, part of it is my trauma. Our traumas don't play well together. Her instinct is to avoid intimacy, my instinct is to seek it out. Really shi**y. I already have clinical depression, loneliness, and insomnia. What's your reasoning for breaking up? She's got an avoidant attachment style so when we got too intimate, she would pull away. I sought reassurance, got too needy, and pushed her away."
SomeDudeinCO3
What's to Be...
"Some people aren't meant to be loved, but you can't help it if you fall in love with them."
ForwardMountain2808
"You absolutely can help it if you fall in love with someone not 'meant to be loved.'"
"Boundaries, confidence, and self-respect will help you fall out of love with anyone that doesn’t want to be with you."
"Have a cry. Hit the bottle for a weekend. Then compose yourself and saddle the F up. There’s a whole world of people out there - good people - and you get one chance at this spinning rock."
"Don’t you rob the world of your love and don’t rob yourself of the experience of receiving love just because it didn’t happen with the person you thought it should."
HamburgerJames
Be Strong
Screaming Season 4 GIF by Broad CityGiphy"Fear of rejection, I don't know if she is even willing to have ANY relationship at all."
Meme_Lord_E
Love is a battlefield, as they say, so keep your armor and wits about you when you fall... and maybe you'll be caught off guard in the best of ways.
Redditor baker10923 wanted hear what information the young people want the old people to stop yelling about, so they asked:
"Younger people of reddit. What are you tired of hearing from older generations?"
I'm tired of hearing about the music. Madonna is music.
I will say these kids today though... THAT'S MUSIC?!
We Know Best
Clap Magenta GIF by Telekom erlebenGiphy“I have more life experience than you… 'then proceeds to go on an emotionally stunted rant based on their own personal bias due to trauma they refuse to process because 'they know best.'"
Sorry, Deborah,
"Literally any and all job advice. Sorry, Deborah, but you've worked the same unionized position for 30+ years. The number of valuable insights you can give me about the modern labor landscape numbers somewhere between diddly and squat. And Hank literally drops the 'walk downtown handing out resumes and shaking hands" line without awareness or irony.'"
spehizle
What we went through
"My mom and I got into a fight over housing affordability. 'Your father (55)and I (53) worked very hard to afford this house (175k) and you make more than we did at the time we bought (1992).'"
"The house now is worth about 1.5m, my mom didn't work and my dad made 100k/year. I make 150k and houses in my price range are 600k 1hr+ away from where I want to be and less than half size with less than half the lot."
x-Sleepy
The Pain
"Anything to the effect of 'young people can't have back pain (or any other physical disability).' Like, dude, I wish being in my twenties made me immune to being injured. But that's literally just not how the human body works."
dumbest_thotticus
"Yup. In my 20s also and I have severe back and neck pain from a car accident. Any time I mention that Im hurting (which is all the time but I only say something when its so bad I cant move) I'm dramatic or too young to know real pain."
Zero_Pumpkins
I'm Them
Aging Jamie Lee Curtis GIFGiphy"I am 44 but I still feel like I am young. I am tired of hearing pretty much everything my generation says. I don't understand when everybody else just suddenly morphed into their parents."
Hattkake
Oh the generations, always the drama.
Awful
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy"They're so judgemental and rude. I'm a restaurant worker and I swear young people are way more polite and easy going while older people have zero patience (even though they're the ones who are already retired), oftentimes make racist, sexist, homophobic and bodyshaming comments and still act like they're above the younger generation simply because they've been alive for longer."
dreamingofhogwarts
29 and Up
"As a 29 year old, tired of older people telling me I’ll understand joint pain, tiredness when I’m older. I’m disabled and chronically ill. I have had bad joints since birth. Like it’s great that all your health problems are a result of your age but mine have been around and will worsen because of that."
supermeg77
blah blah blah...
"(34) I'm sick of hearing about how young people just spend all their time on Tik Tok. How they have stupid dances. How they're just staring at screens all day, blah blah blah."
"Yes, they do all that stuff, but we had stupid dances when we were younger. We sat in front of the TV all day. I've yet to see someone with square eyes."
"Also, hearing about how kids/young people today have no respect for their elders. MF's were doing the same sh*t that people today are doing now. The difference is, everyone has a camera in their pocket."
ocelotrevs
Work Days
"'No one wants to work anymore.'"
"First of all no one ever wanted to work. That's why it's called, 'work,' and not 'fun.'"
"Second of all, maybe it's that no one wants to work at your job that lists itself as entry level but wants 5 years of experience and a master's degree along with being able to work 12 hour days at minimum wage."
GodOfAtheism
Basics
Listen Mothers Day GIF by Cartoon HangoverGiphy"Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, retire, then die..."
Misfits9119
How will we bridge this gap?
One only knows.
A deleted Redditor wanted to discuss the most shockingly simple knowledge we acquire later in life. So they asked everyone:
"What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?"
I'm still processing the fact that Elton John isn't singing to young Tony Danza.
The more you know.
Smorn
Sorry Good Morning GIF by PEEKASSOGiphy"Not me, but in college my buddy asked me how to spell 'smorning' because his phone didn't recognize it as a word. He then goes on to say 'you know, like 'the smorning.' I ask, "do you mean 'this morning??'"
InfernoCBR
Dirty Snow
"I lived in a desert most of my life. No snow. Before my recent experience, I had spent maybe a total of 5 days of my life in snow, and the snow I was in was incredibly light. Because of this I always pictured snow as eternally white and ethereal, like in all the cartoons I'd watched as a kid."
"Went to spend time with my partner's family back in the Midwest in early February. I was absolutely enchanted on my first day of the two week stint. Then I watched what happened as the snow stayed around. And I got to see black ice and the nasty gray/brown snow blocks on the side of the road."
"I suppose I should have KNOWN snow got dirty and tracked over and nasty but I didn't. Robbed the childhood wonder and whimsy right from under my nose."
Happy 19TH!!
"I was baking a cake in my dorm for my 19th birthday. My friends were running around and being loud so I yelled at them to stop because I didn’t want them to ruin the cake. They looked at me like I had two heads so I had to explain that my siblings and I were always taught that making loud noises or running around a kitchen when something was baking would make it fall. I was surprised they had never learned that baking rule."
"Yeah turns out that was made up to stop kids from running and being loud for a couple hours when baking was being done. I called my mom up to ask her about it and both she and my grandma were just as shocked as I was to find out it’s a myth, so apparently at least 3 generations have believed and followed that rule."
rakedleaves
Damn Ma!
"My mother used to feed me 'dark green lettuce' as salads, I loved it even when I was a kid."
"I think I was 17 and I had a friend over for dinner, asked my mom for seconds of dark green lettuce."
"Friend looks at me, 'Uh, you mean spinach?'"
"Moms had been fooling me my whole life."
Marutar
Pecking Order
"I thought Robins (the birds) came out of hibernation at Christmas time because that's when you see them on cards and stuff in the UK. I did not realise for an verrrry long time that you in fact see them all the time, like normal birds."
bos_well_
I can't recall ever seeing a Robin. I may not be looking hard enough.
Get a Dill
Dance Dancing GIF by WoodblockGiphy"One day I had a lightbulb moment. 'Pickling is a process! You can pickle anything. SO WHAT ARE PICKLES?!?' I was gonna blow so many minds with this question. Turns out, it’s cucumbers. And everyone on the planet knew that, except me."
Goatpuppy
'Turn your head'
"I was in my mid 30s before I realized that the 'turn your head' part of 'turn your head and cough' was so that you didn't cough on the damned doctor. I always thought it must've flexed some particular muscle or something, I don't know. To my credit, I am a man and I don't think I've ever had to do that."
RaceCeeDeeCee
The Half Left
"My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times."
"I was so embarrassed to be in college before I realized that was ridiculous and finally asked him what really happened."
"In reality, he and my uncle had been working in their blacksmith shop, and my uncle accidentally brought a sledgehammer down on his pinkie. He didn't want to traumatize me with the truth as a kid, but by the time I asked, I was more than old enough to handle it."
EducatedOwlAthena
Balloons...
"When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by."
"Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it. So fast forward 20+ years. I’m on a date and we stop to get gas and we see a balloon floating by the gas station. Probably hadn’t thought of that story again in all that time."
"So I start telling my date the story about how I had a balloon fly away and then my mother found the very same balloon at a gas station and then as I’m saying it out loud I realize (too late to not look like an idiot) that of course it wasn’t the same freaking balloon. I’ve never seen someone laugh so hard."
Bonzi777
Shocked
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"For years I had been removing toast from the toaster by sticking a butter knife in and picking it out. It wasn't until I was 20 that my girlfriend freaked out when I started doing it that I learned metal in toaster = bad. Guess I'd been pretty lucky."
shallowwaters
Ok. To be fair, I've done that toaster trick before.
But now I have a toaster oven. All good.