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Why do people have to be so mean? Being rude and nasty to others is so unnecessary. Rejection is already hard enough, so why decide to make rejection that much more difficult to bear? If you don't like someone, or if they aren't a fit romantically, personally or professionally, that's fine... but you can just say no, without trying to wreck someone's psyche.

I will never understand why people choose to inflict pain. I've actually known people who enjoy making others cry for sport. But until it happens to you, you don't understand.

Redditor u/99_Megalodon_99 wanted to gather together and discuss the pain of being shunned, by asking:

What's the most painful rejection you ever got?

As a professional actor and writer, rejection is in my DNA. I don't know who I'd be without rejection. Which is sad, but that's a convo for later. Professionally I can't escape it, but I try.

She's Weird

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"One week into the relationship we were gonna have sex. I went a little overboard setting out rose petals, candles, music and champagne in the corner. She thought I was a serial killer and we ended it."

- BVNINC

"not today"

"I went travelling through Sweden with a friend back in college, which was a lot longer ago than I want to admit. He was completely enamored with Swedish women and was continually attempting to seduce them. "Excuse me, do you speak English?" he asked one of them one day, to which she replied "not today" and continued walking."

- ContributionPutrid18

Listen Britney!

"At 19, I was working at the video store in my hometown. There was going to be a lot of renovations in the building so the store was closed for a few days. Management scheduled a meeting to get everyone up to date for new stuff, and to prepare for a new internal contest, divide people into groups for the contest, etc."

"I couldn't attend the meeting because it was my mother's wedding on that day. The wedding was amazing, everybody had lots of fun and it was genuinely one of the best events I've ever been to. The day after I come back to work, ecstatic and happy from the day before. Every employee is happy to see me, one of them tells me they named the group I was assigned to "Britney bi*ches" or something just for me (I'm a big Britney fan). My boss eventually calls me to meet him upstairs in his office with my supervisor."

"I expect it's because he wants to bring me up to date on the goings and what happened at the meeting. Turns out he fired me. For a few months I had been losing motivation to be working effectively, and I had confided in my supervisor about my problems (she and I got close over the years, so I felt comfortable confiding in her) . Mind you, for a month before the firing I was back on track at work."

"The boss told me he fired me because he was scared I was gonna lose my motivation again. I had to do the walk of shame towards the exit. On the day after my mother's amazing wedding. I came home to my mom's and said "I just got fired". Basically one of the worst days of my life. NEVER CONFIDE YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS TO YOUR SUPERIORS FOLKS."

- silverwavesx

Dead End

"Asked a girl out in high school just before a week long holiday, to which she had said yes and gave me her number. Every time I tried to call her she was miraculously not there, even though she could be heard in the background. Turns out she told her friends, all excited, and then her friends told her not to go through with it."

- Therearenogoodnames9

In the Snow

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"When I was still in high school I came home late from work to find all my belongings on the front lawn in the snow. My drunk mother and her crazy boyfriend decided it was time to get rid of me. Haven't trusted anyone since."

- BrackishBit

Oof, that's a lot of painful memories to dissect in therapy. People really can be cruel. And it's unprofessional to relieve people of their duties while inflicting misery. Just think about it.

She's Evil

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"She laughed at me then proceeded to get her friends to laugh as well and then after that people would ask me out as a joke and then say ewwww no if I said yes the result being I haven't been able to trust if someone is genuinely attracted to me and I still don't trust most people."

- Nerdydutchman

Super unprofessional...

"Got rejected from a job as an RA when literally everyone else was accepted. I asked why and it's because when they asked about something I had overcome, I had said that I used to have difficulty interacting with parents until I worked two public facing roles, and now was super confident. They decided that meant I was too shy for the role. They never even READ my resume. Super unprofessional."

- CreativeCorinne

Hide the Comments

"Not really a rejection, but in high school, I was in class talking to some people in a circle. I got up to leave and as I was walking away, one of them uttered "Wow, he has the worst acne I have ever seen." At the time it bothered me, but it never got me depressed or anything."

"I eventually got on accutane which cured it. The cruelty of that comment makes me laugh today. High school was fun in that it had so many weird social moments. I like to think kids are nicer today, because I consider myself lucky that I didn't let comments like that get to me."

- yeetingyute

People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

On a Saturday morning...

"I was a lot younger at the time, and I was really into this girl I went to school with (I was about 9). On a Saturday morning, I'd finally summoned the confidence to ask her out. I mustered the confidence, dressed up, and strolled around the block to her house. I paused, took a big breath, and knocked on the door."

"She responded, "There was no precursor for me; I just went ahead and asked her out." She paused, gave me an odd look, replied no, and shut the door behind me, leaving me despondent in the street. On Monday, I went to school and was greeted with a barrage of laughter."

"It turned out that I'd tried to ask her out while her grandparents were standing outside the door, and they weren't impressed with some scruffy 9-year-old in strange clothes knocking on the door at 0800 to invite their devoutly Catholic granddaughter out on a date. We didn't speak to each other after that. It was brought up again in school."

- Overall-Click7286

Only the Lonely

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"My best female friend had a habit of using me as a rebound. So after the third time this happened stuff starts going sideways and she hit me with "you're the guy I hit up when I'm lonely."

- endlessincoherence

"I thought you were gay"

"I broke up with a girl in junior high and she proceeded to tell the entire school that the reason for our split was because I was gay (in 1980 this was a not nearly the same as today). Later that year I went up to a girl and asked her to an upcoming dance -- she sneered at me and said "I thought you were gay" and just walked away. This stigma followed me all the way through high school (small town in Prince Edward Island, Canada)."

"And I didn't have another girlfriend until after I left the province to move to Ontario. Didn't help that my first name is Ray, which prompted my inevitable nickname through the period. Not gay, not at all effeminate... yet this stuck to me for years and essentially ruined my life until I moved."

- mindspan

Those Girls

"I remember when I was backpacking Europe with my college roommate we were in Germany waiting for an overnight train so we went for drinks nearby. We met these girls who were there and started getting along so we missed our train. So now we're in town for the night so the girls were eager to show us around the nightlife."

"I can't remember how we got separated but I wound up going back to the bar where the insanely gorgeous waitress was giving me free drinks then offers to let me sleep in her car then she'll drive me to her place to cook me breakfast in the morning."

"I'm trying to sleep and hear them banging on the window trying to get me to go with them (I didn't want to because that waitress was really hot) but went out drinking until 6am with them then got on our train and they gave us their contact info. Roommate and I part ways for a few days and he decides he's going back to see those girls."

"Good, one of us better be getting laid after that night. Buddy shows up, let's them know it's just him in town and if they wanted to go out again. They tell him they're lesbians and totally brush him off. He was devastated since we hit it off so well and they seemed excited to see us again."

- CharlieTuna_

Puzzled

"I was at university and chatted up this really cute girl. I thought things were really going great, when she says she had to rush off, but wrote her name and number on a piece of paper before leaving. When I called the number, a guy with a deep voice answered and said in a very puzzled voice that he didn't know anyone of that name. Nobody writes their own number down wrong, so I guess things weren't going as well as I thought."

- MegaSillyBean

Can we talk?

"Was at a bar/restaurant for my moms birthday (maybe 10-12 people with us). I got very drunk, and some girl was singing karaoke and was extremely talented. After she was done I went up to her and said how impressive she was, she said thanks, and I walked away. Should have ended at that, because a few drinks later my drunken desperate mind goes "I should ask her out."

"I walk up to her and awkwardly tap her shoulder, without realizing she's sitting there with her family and her father lol. I go "can we talk?" She's like "yea?"...."can I have your number?" To which she responds "oh my boyfriend is the DJ sorry..." and her whole family looks at me all awkward like wtf? The combination of rejection and being too embarrassingly drunk to see how bad of an idea that was, is part of the reason I don't drink alcohol anymore."

- Snowfreak2507

Still Hurts

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"When I was 3 my mother told me she wished I'd never been born. (No drugs or alcohol were involved)I remember her hairdo, her glasses, and even what design was on her dress. I'm 56 and I've never gotten over it."

- snuggleyporcupine

Be a Man

"I was chatting with this girl online, and sent her a face pic after she asked for one, she comes back and says "No, you look too young to me. I know your age, but you just don't look it, and really don't have any masculine features I look for in men and your nose is too big, sorry." Like, she could have just said not interested dam."

- Xdude199

Across the World

"Not the most painful, but the most recent. Back at the end of last year, I started dating again after sitting out most of the year bc of the pandemic. Met a woman and we just clicked. First time in a long while where I felt an actual connection [made even more significant thanks to the solitude created by the pandemic]. I think we fell hard and fast for each other, but then she revealed she was going back home to the other side of the world."

"For several months so we had a heart to heart about a bunch of things like future career plans, kids, religion, etc to see whether it was worth maintaining things long distance. Unfortunately there were a couple big things we didn't quite agree upon so we ended up breaking up. In the several months since then, I've still yet to meet anyone whom Ive had a connection anywhere near approaching that."

- chewytime

"Uh, I have a boyfriend..."

"I'd just graduated college and moved to a new city. I was regretting not being more social at school and was determined to be more outgoing. This was my chance for a fresh start! I woke up feeling good, got in the elevator to my apartment building, and decided to introduce myself to my new neighbor who was already on. I gathered my courage and said "Hi" with a smile. The poor girl seemed terrified and just said. "Uh, I have a boyfriend..." then mashed the button for the next floor and hopped out."

- irrelevant_usernam3

Silver Linings

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"I just don't think I can be in a relationship right now."

"Four days later is in a relationship with a "friend" that came over multiple times to hang out at my place. Silver lining, she is on her ninth relationship in 2 1/2 years (for good reason), and my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half."

- NinthReever

Who knows?

"My ex I was with for 7 years, engaged, and planning a wedding with. Her parents insisted we cancel the wedding and shortly after she declared we should go on a break. Her only explanation was I needed to improve myself. I did. She then ignored it all and never spoke to me ever again. Practically no explanation of any kind. She wanted me to not be a poor farmer. I'm not by any means anymore. Likely making more than she is now. Who knows? She only wanted me for land I guess? Money? I have no idea, and never will."

- buttmagnuson

This is why I hate love. I have been rejected romantically, but usually with thoughtful hands. But from what I've witnessed and now read, I'm even more weary of romantic rejection. Alas... life will continue.

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