Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
Nibbles
Jim Carrey Conan GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Bite her knees."
sudomatrix
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
Weaselot_III
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
Dudelison
LOL
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Liberty53000
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
jwright24153
GIF by VPROIf we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
Warning
Football Yes GIF by State FarmGiphy""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
Umbrella_merc
Anyways
“Okay.'"
Prfsnlclckclackr
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
StopThinkingJustPick
Cool Beans
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
buttdocs
Move On...
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Makalockheart
Leave it...
Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
halej69848
Rock It!
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Hobbsy1978
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.
Redditor LuckyC1723wanted to hear what the immediate big turn offs when dating online.
"When it comes to dating apps, what is an automatic 'pass' for you?"
I hold a great disdain for the darting apps in general. But this should be good.
Use your words...
Swiping Season 2 GIF by NBCGiphy"Single word replies to everything with no effort to make conversation. If you weren't interested, why TF did you match."
eternalankh
Let's Learn
"A profile that's just a list of demands. 'Don't be this, don't do this, spend money on me, do this, do that, etc.'"
yensid7
"Same. I want to learn about you. I'm supposed to be seeing if I'm interested in you by reading this thing. That said, I'm expected to make my profile about me so you can decide if you're interested in me."
"Anyone who has a list of rules about me pisses me off. One because it's obvious you're crazy demanding. Two, it signals you have no personality of your own to talk about. Three, you can't follow simple instructions! It's ok to include some stuff about what you look for in a partner but 'demands a no-go.'
justfriendly
Needs/Demands
"Talk too much about who they want and not enough about who they are."
FormalTheory
"Yes! 100% agree. You don't have to declare what you're looking for in detail, you decide that yourself by who you like or reply to or whatever. The purpose of your profile should be to describe yourself."
PhysicsDude55
"Well tbh I don’t talk about who I am in my profile because I don’t like someone telling me they’re funny or witty or loyal either. Those are things you prove. Show me your character traits and show me your humor. Don’t tell me about them."
hungry_lobster
Cuz your so special?
"People who behave like they're too good for you. Instant no."
adgvogamer
"It looks like setting expectations to me. Lots of people would probably be disappointed or angry if the messages stop or are sporadic, so it's only polite to let them know."
"People don't owe you shaping their daily lives around consistently messaging you. The expectation that they do reeks of insecurity."
"There are people who do truly feel and act as if they're 'better than you' in that way. I just wanted to point out that most of the time it's just a disclaimer."
stretcharach
Entertain Me
Over It Wow GIF by The Comeback HBOGiphy"Don't be boring."
Spirited-Ad-8061
"Basically saying 'got noting interesting to offer so I will need you to be the interesting one and do the heavy lifting in this relationship.'"
Trollhaxs
I'm about to give up. The memories are flooding back.
Lies
no thank you do not want GIF by Music ChoiceGiphy“'I’m actually 20, I don't know why it says 24. lol.'”
"Or something to that effect."
benkenobi239
Not Best
"'If you can't handle me at my worst.....' swipe left..."
"It particularly sucks because in some way, the quote is true. People will not always be at their best. Sometimes their worst will come out even if it is only 2% of the time only for their partner to leave and say they want nothing to do with it (obviously excluding abusive behaviors) because they want you to be 100% happy, cheerful and joyful at all times."
RainbowLoli
Oh Girl Please
"Calling themselves an 'alpha."
Nira_Re
"If you have to TELL PEOPLE you're an alpha... you're not an alpha. Self-identified alphas are just men with weak egos and no real personality trying to prop themselves up with things they think make them attractive."
"'Alpha male' concept is also BS."
aviatorlj
Empty
"A blank profile that doesn't say anything about them. Like an IG or snapchat handle... that's it. And then you go to their IG and it's private and their bio is something like 'Not here often follow me on snapchat' and you go to their snapchat and it's like 'Not here often. Subscribe to my only fans' then you go to their onlyfans and... it goes on and on and on."
ami2weird4u
Ok Bundy
Hannibal Lecter Killer GIFGiphy"Those serial killer pics. You know, when you’re sitting and staring down at the camera and for some reason you’re sitting in the car or a basement, not smiling and you took like five pics in a row and uploaded all of them."
yuri_yk
pay up...
"People who brag about paying their own bills like it isn’t already something you’re supposed to be doing."
Owlcifer
"I didn’t put this in my bio but I’m not even out of college and that’s true for me. For most in my area that is an achievement to pay my own bills and to be on my own without any college debt or help from parents. Considering where I came from growing up I’m pretty proud of all of that."
Calfredie01
"I pay my bills my bills are paid."
CoucheOpaque
Common
“'Aspiring milf' I swear every time I swipe I see at least five of these, come up with some original to put in a bio at least like damn."
Jr4D
"I don't get the hate? Assuming it's serious (and they'd 'stick to it') that's basically saying 'I want to have kids and don't want to let myself go after settling down.' That seems pretty in line with what I'd want. What, other than it being too common, makes it a problem."
00zau
Just Half
"Thinking smoking weed is a personality trait."
DEmLilBoiz
"Same applies to alcohol. If 80% of your "best" pictures involve a glass of wine or a bottle of beer, that tells me enough about you to swipe left."
kreankorm
"This. So much. I don't care if they partake of the devil's lettuce but stop treating it like it's your whole persona."
EmseMCE
"I also hate it when people think that traveling, eating, and working out, makes you special. *itch everyone likes to eat food and everyone would travel the world if they had daddy’s money."
JohnyyBanana
Lacking
Bored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Condescension. Focus on what they don’t want/like instead of what they do. Lack of effort in writing their bio. Zoomed in pictures of abs."
tzazeke
high/low
"I’m in a happy relationship currently, but any use of the language 'high/low value male/female.'"
perplexedvortex
"This and the alpha beta talk for guys. My God sometimes I forget what year it is."
BlueAvenueAcornLane
"It's hilarious. The alpha/beta stuff was debunked and doesn't even apply to the wolves it was originally based on, let alone humans with completely different social dynamics."
Amosral
Who are you?
"When they have so many filters and only close up shots from the chin up."
ConvenienceStoreDiet
"All my friends use SOOO many filters and I refuse to use any... and I throw full body shots on there that are super unflattering so you know exactly what I look like on a bad day lol I'm not trying to fool anyone, you either accept my fat butt on low effort days as well as when I feel like a 10 or you can keep swiping lol."
LavaLampWax
Just Go
Cartoon Goodbye GIF by Scooby-DooGiphy"If any statement includes 'if you can't handle,' nah, I'm out. Because if she can't handle me at my most selective, then she doesn't deserve me at my most openminded. Also, demanding that you be original while her profile is exactly the same as 99% of other women's profiles, f**k that."
EponymousTitular
"If you can't handle me at my Scoobiest, you don't deserve my Doobiest."
oc974
Proportions
"When they start listing what they don't want, stuff like 'don't talk to me if you're under 6'0' tall."
TheEvelynn
"I've seen that a couple of times before. Even though I'm over 6 foot I don't bother with them. I could do without that kind of arrogance in my life."
"I get that for some people it is a deal breaker even though it doesn't really matter (I have a few dealbreakers like that myself that I wish I didn't have) but to put it in such a way just shows you're a bit of a twat."
DeafeningMilk
And on top of this we have to worry about monkeypox? Forget it.
Do you have things that make you instantly want to swipe left? Let us know in the comments.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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But after receiving confirmation there is no possibility of being more than friends with the person you are smitten with, is there any way to walk away gracefully?
Curious to hear about the aftermath of getting your hopes crushed into a million pieces, Redditor Ok_Cycle2916 asked:
"What is the best thing to do after getting rejected to make it not awkward?"
You can be the bigger the person, or at least appear to be while you're slowly dying inside.
Keep It Positive
"okay thanks for being honest, all the best"
– groovy604
It's About Self-Preservation
"Something that really works well for me is if i want to try and start something with a girl, i compliment her. Her reaction tells me all i need."
"Get really good at reading social cues. You can avoid rejection before it happens if you are able to get a vibe from someone BEFORE you go in."
"If you are wrong and she isn't interested I still like to pay a small exiting compliment or crack a joke to ease the tension, in that moment of rejection if I can at least make her smile or laugh then i can feel good."
"Finally, self-worth is huge. If you get rejected get really good at not taking it personally and not letting it wreck your energy. YOU ARE ALL YOU NEED."
– WillyM35
At Least Try
"got rejected by my crush two days ago & said 'well it never hurts to ask right :)' & then i almost threw up in the bathroom from embarrassment."
– funeralguestlist7
What Makes A Better Impression
"Absolutely just say something like 'ok no problem I understand…' and LEAVE IT AT THAT…even if (and especially if) you do not understand why."
"Do not under any circumstances continue to ask them to change their mind, do not ask what went wrong, do not throw insults on them in any way."
"The guys I’ve rejected who have simply taken it like a man and accepted it and let it go have honestly impressed me so much because it’s SO RARE."
– Sanchastayswoke
A For Effort
"i didnt know what else to say plz i tried my best 😭"
– funeralguestlist7
Playing it cool is fine, but even that may have limits.
The Gesture
"Finger guns"
– curry_bento
"Hell yeah and followed by a peace sign."
– Right-Arm-7385
Watch Your Way Out
"if you trip over something that makes you stumble a lil bit but not fall, you look extra cool too."
– karmagod13000
Move On To The Next Topic
"Just be cool about it, like 'Oh ok, no problem' and then change the subject or find something else to do."
– Diet_Coke
A Disappearing Act
"Backup slowly, preferably into a tall hedge, into which you then disappear."
– Amara_Undone
Go Out With Style
"If someone actually Moonwalked in front of me then there’s no way I would reject them!"
"If you can moonwalk nicely then you’re getting that date."
—————
"Full disclosure: I’m on an MJ kick bc yesterday on his sub I saw a very short but very high quality clip of him performing... and I can’t stop thinking about it. Usually the quality of his concert footage is poor bc they’re so old. But the quality of this clip was so good, you could see every bead of sweat. I am stunned by how drop dead gorgeous and talented he was. Makes me want to SHA MOAN 😩"
https://www.reddit.com/r/MichaelJackson/comments/t9fpus/comment/hztz3uy/
– Miss_Adventurer
The Message It Sends
"Learned this way too late in life but your best move in this situation is if you can just take it in stride and act cool, 'yeah understandable I get it no worries' etc. and cool off advances moving forward. It has worked out twice for me where this has soon after developed into a relationship, including my current years-long relationship. That's not to say it always works, obviously often you will just drift apart but that's just the way it goes when you roll the dice on opening yourself up to someone and you should be prepared for this when you take the leap. And often if you get rejected it may not be about you in that moment, it might just as likely be about something going on in the other person's life that they are not prepared to take that next step."
"I think that if you can come off as cool about it, it sends the message that you are interested in them, but it's not devastating for you if its not reciprocated, you have other interests and goals in your life that make you happy and drive you, you are a confident and quality person that is not worried about finding someone else, your life and value are not tied solely to someone being in your life - just generally conveys maturity and leaves the door open down the line."
"If you act immediately devastated or worse, throw a fit about it, you're putting a lot of hurt and pressure on the person you're asking. Put yourself on the other side of the convo, having to say no, and think about how you'd feel if the person you were speaking to was crushed - you'd likely also feel awkward and maybe bad about yourself and might start avoiding them to avoid the awkward, even if you generally liked that person otherwise."
– FargoniusMaximus
Or, persistence is key.
Invisible Telephone
"say 'oh that's awesome. i can't wait! ok, so I'll see you around 8? brilliant. ok. later'. then press your ear like you're pushing a button to hang up a call. now look at the person standing in front of you and say 'sorry what were you saying?'"
– Unlikely_Afternoon94
There's no real remedy here as rejection will always suck.
But putting yourself out there at the risk of being turned down is a noble act that takes courage. That accomplishment alone is worth acknowledging.
Besides, wouldn't you rather have a definite answer rather than tormenting yourself wondering if the other person feels the same way about you?
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