There are just some truths about life we need to stop running from. Everyone tiptoes around certain topics and people when we should be exposing secrets and lies. More often than not harboring secrets just leads to more secrets and hinderance. Life is not always on our side and most of the people we know.... are going to disappoint us and chocolate is fattening. Take a deep breath and start there....
Redditor u/Mark_Ps2 wanted to see who was wiling to share some truths about the everyday that often are kept hidden by asking.... (SERIOUS) What are some dark secrets about regular life that people should know?Enemies
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Your workplace is not your friend.
The employee who dishes with you about all the other employees most likely talks about you to other people too. So watch what you say to that person. Bonding over disliked coworkers can cause you to let your guard down.
What We Get
You don't get what you deserve.
Someone once said to me, "You get what you get, and what you get will never be what you deserve." It was after I had just done some good then got crap on for it, but I realized years later he was talking about malicious attitudes never getting their comeuppance.
Fragility...
Friendships are fragile. Most have a convenience factor (go to school together; work together; live near each other) and once that's gone the friendship becomes much less important.
As you age, work, family, and spouses demand more of your time and there's less left for friends. It doesn't mean you care less but without effort you'll lose those friendships. Often one half of the friendship is more willing to put the work in than the other, and that can sustain the relationship or lead to bitterness.
The Cells
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Cancerous cells form in your body on a regular basis, but your immune system recognizes the cancerous cells and kills them... usually.
Along the way....
You can be going along, enjoying your life thinking you've got it all figured out, and boom, in a matter of minutes it can all go to hell, and everything you believed to be true, and the future you imagined for yourself will be gone. And just because you do everything right, doesn't necessarily mean you get what you want.
Evil among us....
I ran a non-profit for a while and thought that the non-profit community would be pretty great, because aren't we all trying to do good things? OOF. The Non-profit world is home to some of the most ruthless and cold-hearted savages I've ever come across.
Particularly when it comes to competing for funding, there are no friends among non-profits and charities.
Never the Same
People change. You never really know them. They can be in your life for 20, 30, 40 years and out of nowhere blindside you. So learn to be happy on your own. Live and love of course, but do not allow anyone or any few people to define your happiness.
It's alright to give people the power to hurt you by loving and trusting them, but never give so much of yourself away that their very presence in your life defines you and you cannot live without them. That leads to you either accepting sh!tty behavior to keep them around or it leads to crippling depression if they leave. Own your own happiness.
Good. Not Great.
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Being a good employee at work and having an agreeable, friendly personality will get you further than being a great employee with a poor personality.
The Power!
I got involved in community activism (I'm keeping it vague here) and pretty much everyone involved higher up is a power-hungry monster. Competitive with each other, not just for funding but for clout and popularity with the public.
Also it was amazing how many people were willing to sell out the cause/their beliefs for money. Lifetime community organizers making a living by taking funding from the most unethical sources imaginable.
If you ever meet someone that's spent years dedicated to a charitable or humanitarian cause, then you've probably met an @sshole. The exceptions are the genuinely kind volunteers who are relatively new. They last about 2 years, 3 if they're tough. But they eventually see the people running the show for the monsters that they are, and leave, completely disillusioned.
The Death Racket
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The funeral industry is just like the wedding industry.
The funeral industry is an absolute racket. They hose people experiencing deep and unrelenting grief by subtly guilting them that if they don't spend more money, they didn't truly care about their deceased loved one.
When my friend passed away at 23, his family - who had a lot of money and not a lot of healthy coping skills - ended up spending an exorbitant amount on his funeral. They got upsold on a casket that cost thousands (which was only for the viewing), jewelry made of his ashes, weird art made of his handprints... They easily spent as much as a wedding. It was grotesque watching the way they got rinsed because they were mourning and didn't have the emotional fortitude to consider what was happening in the moment.
That Magic Moment
You are never done growing, or shouldn't be anyway. When I was younger I thought growing up was a thing that happened, then you are a fully complete adult. Nope. You never stop figuring it out, learning and growing.
The thing you realize as you get older is that there is no moment when you are an adult. I still feel like the same person I did in my 20's. Yes, I know more about things and have more experience but the person inside is the same.
It's something I try and explain to people younger than me when ever it comes up. Like, there is no magic moment, you're just the same but older.
the "nice" ones
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Bullies are not just in middle school. They are everywhere.
A lot of them are also 'the nicest people ever', who would NEVER do anything awful to anyone. My case for a while now. It doesn't matter what terrible things they do, every lie they tell is true.
The Unfixable
There are some people you just can't save, and who will drag you down with them if you let them.
Whether it's addiction, excessive anger, constant negativity, or just never-ending chaos, if they're an adult, you have no obligation to "fix" it for them, and you can't anyway, until they become ready to fix it for themselves.
Priorities
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I hit a smallish lottery (~few mill) a little while back and told absolutely no one, family and friends included. I took a bunch of steps to secure my kids futures and we live a very comfortable but not lavish life. I'm pretty generous with the people around me, I think that they just think I'm doing very well career wise (or something illegal under the table).
I justify it by thinking that if this was general knowledge amongst friends and family it would ruin relationships. My priority needed to be my kids.
Mush
When you get diagnosed with alzheimer's, your brain is already mostly mush.
The disease has been ravaging your brain for at least 20 years before you started noticing it. You also probably exhibited symptoms for the past 5-10 years but they were super mild and no one, including you, paid attention. One of those early symptoms can be mood swings, depression... and the loss of the sense of smell.
There is no hope left for you at that point. The main research against Alzheimer's or any neurodegenerative disease is to act years before the first symptoms, when your brain still is relatively healthy. You showing symptoms mean that your brain cannot compensate for the degeneration and it will go downward from now.
Pose
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The celebrities that you crave to emulate, get a lot of the stuff for free. They are just breathing billboards. Stop putting yourself in to debt for them, at the end of the day, just like money, you can't take it with you.
Everyday
You can do everything right and still die on your way to work. My husband died 2 years ago on his drive to work because someone made an illegal turn. People die every day in auto accidents. You can die when you leave your house and its so easy that its scary sometimes.
The Undeserving....
Even though you are by far the most qualified candidate for a job or a promotion... they can give it someone undeserving and there's nothing you can do about it. Nepotism (I gave the job to my son), friendships, inability to recognize talent... you at some point may likely face this and it sucks.
Alone
Nobody said being an adult would be this lonely. Im a 26 year old female, relatively attractive, sociable and I take pride in how kind I am. But it doesn't matter. People are busy and making the friendship connection is so much harder as an adult than it was growing up. (And it was freaking hard growing up lol)
I have about 3 friends total I can go to for anything. On the up side, my familial relations have improved greatly as an adult. We were broken growing up but now are all in a good place in life and with each other.
Live Alone
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Deciding to be roommates with your best friend is dangerous. I've known people who have stopped speaking to their best friend because the small things build up. Some people luck out and it turns out fine, but most of the time it doesn't.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...