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People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

People Who've Survived Events Where Others Were Killed Reveal Whether They Struggle With "Survivor's Remorse"

People Who've Survived Events Where Others Were Killed Reveal Whether They Struggle With "Survivor's Remorse"

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Incredibly Dangerous Things Everyone Assumes Are Safe

Lucky People Share Near-Death Experiences They Survived

Lucky People Share Near-Death Experiences They Survived

People Break Down The Common Causes Of Death That Are Easily Avoided

People Break Down The Common Causes Of Death That Are Easily Avoided
Michael Jin on Unsplash

It can feel like the world is out to get you, especially when people die in such easily avoidable ways.

This isn't to make light of tragic accidents, or people suffering from long term illnesses, but when you look at the staggering amount of gun deaths in the country, or the number of people still losing loved ones to lung cancer after years of smoking, it becomes apparent maybe some people don't want to avoid it at all.

When it seemingly would be so easy to step to the side.

Reddit user, Viapiane, wanted to know what common pitfalls you can avoid when they asked:

"What is a common death that could easily be avoided?"

Classes and preparation are important for a reason, to make sure you know what to do when a dangerous situation arises.

Last thing you want is to be out at sea and not know what to do if the boat capsizes.

Take a class.

And stay away from that raccoon.

Swim Classes As Soon As Possible

"Drowning. Practice water safety and teach your kids. It's so sad to hear of a child that drowned from falling in a pool when supervision and education could have prevented that."

Imrealbutter

Take A Class And Go To A Range Before Even Thinking About Buying One

"Gun accidents. There are rules around guns for reasons."

TheBitwolf

"Yup. I grew up in a SUPER hillbilly home. Dad was an avid gun collector. He never even had to lock them up because the rules were NON NEGOTIABLE. For as long as I can literally remember, we knew the rules. And you did NOT f-ck around. The consequences were very real and we knew it. That's just the way it was. Period."

JustGenericName

"No matter how they're phrased, it always comes down to the four universal rules of firearms. If someone is disobeying even ONE of these rules, they're not safe to be around when handling guns."

  • "Treat every gun as if it is loaded. Always. It doesn't matter if you "know" you just saw them empty the chamber and remove the magazine. It doesn't matter if the slide/chamber is locked open. Always. Loaded. Trust but verify."
  • "Never point the barrel of a gun at something or someone you are not willing to destroy/harm/kill. Is it ok to point a gun at someone if the gun isn't loaded? See Rule 1."
  • "Keep your booger hook off the bang switch. The finger does not touch the trigger until such time as the target has been acquired and you are immediately ready to apply deadly force."
  • "Know your target and what is behind it. This goes back to Rule 2. Bullets do not always stop on/in whatever you are actually firing the gun at. Overpenetration is a thing. Missing is a thing. You are responsible for whatever that round hits after it leaves your gun."
jmrichmond81

Seriously. Don't Go Near The Raccoon.

"Death from wild animals. Most people are going up to animals and provoking them. What are they expecting to happen?"

FoxKid720

"People are trained to think cute fluffy animal is adorable because wild domestic animals like cats and dogs are deceptively friendly, as they've learned being nice to the humans can mean pets and food handed to them. Wild animals not so much. They're also self trained to think that dogs growling and upset till they run away means the bear will do the same. No, it's just going to take your face off."

Sasparillafizz

You would think being in control of a 2,000 pound metal object would make people a little more careful.

And you would be surprised how often you are wrong.

Let The Gas Go

"The carbon monoxide deaths in Texas last year come to mind as especially tragic because a lot of people just didn’t know how to avoid them, like by not turning on the car in a closed garage"

jq12ton

"One cause of CO poisoning that's much less well known is starting a car when it's exhaust and up to their tires are buried in snow. The exhaust collects under the car, having no where to go thanks to the snow, then re-enters the car through the wheel wells and other areas, filling it with CO and killing anyone who's inside trying to stay warm."

"Happens to dozens of people every year when a sufficiently large snowstorm hits an area."

jackp0t789

Eyes Up. Don't Drink. Buckle Up.

"Vehicle accident fatalities. So many are due to DUI, texting, drowsiness, carelessness. If people just took driving more seriously and realized it was a privilege rather than a right and that their road rage/road policing/rushing can result in killing someone, maybe people would slow down and take more care."

"I live in a pretty bad area for driving. People can't stay in their lanes when the road curves, they merge over without checking blindspots, they merge over going 20mph less than the posted speed limit when you're right on top of them, etc etc. It is one of my biggest fears that my SO will die in some utterly stupid and fully preventable auto accident because some jackass was being a careless, and therefore enormously dangerous, driver."

ohmynymph

Whatever the cause of death may be, there could have been long term warning signs, things to look out for, before it happens.

Talk to someone to get your anger issues under control, go for a walk and for the sake of the world, get your COVID vaccine.

Don't Let Things Escalate

"In conflict that is looking to turn violent?"

"Walk away. Swallow the ego and walk away."

"There's a number of people who would still be alive if they followed this."

thatswhatshesaidxx

"I think this also applies to a lot of conflicts with strangers generally. It's really senseless to argue with a stranger and especially to let that escalate into a fight. I mean what is a good outcome there? You take a risk of getting at least punched, sued, injured or killed just to win and not see that person ever again if you're lucky?"

"That wouldn't even be worth a bruise for me. It's not 'manly' or strong to carry out those conflicts. Strong real men choose their conflicts wisely and don't resort to violence but solve their problems with words where necessary. You either talk things out with people you are close too or you walk away."

quackiemcduck

Taboo To Talk About, But Nonetheless Important

"Unfortunately, it's incredibly hard to stop once your drinking crosses that invisible line. Alcohol eventually changes your body chemistry, creating a dependance on it."

Complete_Business_31

Get It Checked When You Can

"Colon cancer. Super curable when caught early. Death sentence when caught late."

Scrappy_Larue

"A colonoscopy is terrible, but the relief when doc says, I found 3 precancerous polyps and removed them, it’s a giant relief."

CommercialExotic2038

2020. 2021. 2022?

"Covid. Get vaccinated."

sneeeki

"And now, also get boosted. Unless you have other major health issues, that pretty much guarantees you won't die from Covid."

AgoraiosBum

Starting Crap

"Starting crap in bars, you'd be surprised how quickly a bar fight can escalate to someone getting their head cracked open or paralyzed. All you have to do is just not take it personally move on with your business and don't engage in petty squabbles."

Urbanfalcon756

"Worked in the ER, one of the trauma cases of the week was a 25 year old who was in a drunk bar fight and got decked. He sustained a fall from standing and he died."

salty-MA-student

bad road planing...

"Car accidents. All can be easily avoided if some idiots juts follow the transit rules. The only reason we have many people dying in accidents is just because of us (people). I know there are excluded cases where the problem was the infrastructure or a bad road planing, but most of the times is a human error."

STJ41

Get a Vaccine

"I’m not sure if it’s common, but cervical cancer caused by HPV. There’s a vaccine for strains of HPV that cause cancer that’s done wonders at reducing it. And regular Pap smears are great at detecting it and any cell abnormalities. Prevention and early detection is key. Everyone should get their HPV vaccines."

whorgans

Fallen

Dog Oops GIF by AFV Pets Giphy

"All those people falling just for sake of a selfie."

Arrowhead1600

"We went to the Grand Canyon a couple of months ago (our first visit), and there were so many people climbing over the guardrails and walking out to sit on the edge of the precipice to take photos. People die doing that every year."

BSB8728

"dive shallow"

"Drowning in lakes. Many times when people drown its because they dove into the water and once they got past the warm water on the top, they hit the much colder water under the thermocline and their muscles seized up. Teaching people to 'dive shallow' or go into the water slowly isn't a big change, but would save a lot of lives."

PinocchioWasFramed

Don't Start

"Diseases caused by smoking."

Ditlev1323

"My grandfather dropped dead of a heart attack 12 years after he quit smoking, and smoking was still listed as a contributory factor. I guess after 40 years of John Wayne levels of cigarettes consumption the damage was done. It's best never to start."

Johhnymaddog316

Buckle Up

"Children dying in vehicle accidents as a result of them not being in the proper safety seat, the seat not being properly installed, or them.not being properly buckled in or a combination of all of them. So easily avoided if parents and care givers just put the seat in correctly, made sure it was the correct seat for their child's size, and always make sure their child stays buckled."

Lemurtoes666

Body isn’t ready yet...

"I heard this from a death janitor. Heart attacks on the toilet first thing in the morning. If you wake up and need to poop, do a couple laps around your place first, maybe put the kettle on. Never go straight from bed to the toilet. He said it had something to do with going right from a sleeping state to sitting and bearing down. Body isn’t ready yet. He’s not a doctor but he sees the dead people so I believe it."

ivytiger99

Tragedy

"Fentanyl overdoses. They're the leading cause of death for people 18-45 years old in the US, more than all other drug overdoses combined. Tons of those deaths could have been easily avoided by testing drugs before doing them."

Bruhtonium_2

The world is a dangerous place, so make sure you're keeping an eye out for yourself and those around you.

That cute raccoon is coming for your face.

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People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
work

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty