Cautious People Share The Things You Should Never, Ever Mess With
Cautious People Share The Things You Should Never, Ever Mess With[rebelmouse-image 18346917 is_animated_gif=
There's some stuff you just don't mess with, no matter who you are. Even the most invincible among us have our weak points... yes, even the great Steve Irwin had some things he knew better than to mess with - and he was Steve Friggin' Irwin! If even he had fears, we mere mortals should probably be afraid of way more stuff than we actually are. One redditor asked:
And we were like... YES. Reddit is a forum that reaches people all around the world. The stuff we know not to mess with could be completely different from what other people know! There could potentially be tons of stuff out there just waiting to go all Wreck-It Ralph on us. So of course we read the thread. After way too many hours spent reading and researching how to moose-proof our homes, we came up with these entries to share with you. We'll see you at the bubble wrap store.
Don't Yell At Customs Agents[rebelmouse-image 18346918 is_animated_gif=
My wife has two Peruvian passports; an expired one containing all her residence visas for the UK, and her current one. We've checked and double checked and this is perfectly valid, but she gets really over-defensive about it when questioned by immigration.
"It's fine! I've travelled with these passports dozens of times! Are you new, or just an idiot?!".
A few months ago she called me in tears because she was being held by immigration at Manchester airport. I guessed immediately what had happened, she even started shouting at some official who had entered the room while we were talking and calling him an idiot. Not the best strategy.
U-Haul[rebelmouse-image 18346920 is_animated_gif=
A man loading/unloading a U-Haul van. Their mind, soul, and body are united in one singular, burning thought: "f_ck this b_llshit".
I would warn God himself not to give the man in the van a reason to go off on him.
Limes?[rebelmouse-image 18346921 is_animated_gif=
This happened to me a couple of years ago - squeezing limes at a BBQ to make limeade, went out in the garden for a couple of hours... 24 hours later my hands had gone deep red, and started swelling, 48 hours later I had huge blisters and my hands looked like I was wearing thick gloves. Went away after 72 hours but was a nasty experience all round. Look it up: phytophotodermatitis. Be aware!
Badgers[rebelmouse-image 18344917 is_animated_gif=
Me and a friend stopped to talk to an old man out walking his two dogs once (mostly to fuss his dogs) and he told us that it was three not that long ago. He used to have a Jack Russel, but one day when he was walking it, it caught an interesting scent and followed it into a badger hole, and never came back out.
Springs Can Kill You[rebelmouse-image 18346923 is_animated_gif=
Garage door springs. My garage was busted so my brother and i went to check it out. We started f*cking with it and one of the springs just exploded towards the side of my face so I never saw it. It knocked my glasses off my face and almost went completely through my wall. I got lucky. I don't know what that would've done to me had it hit me
Electricity Can Kill... Or Worse[rebelmouse-image 18346925 is_animated_gif=
I work with a dude who was working on a generator set, stuck his flashlight into his mouth to be able to use both hands. Power arced through the flashlight and now he has no lower jaw.
Brown Recluse[rebelmouse-image 18346926 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mine in college got drunk and passed out on a lawn. Woke up like an hour later and went to bed. Woke up in the morning and said her leg really hurt. Turns out she got bitten by a brown recluse on the lawn. She had to go to the ER and got an chunk of her thigh removed. Now she has a dark brown circular pit in her leg.
Knife Fights[rebelmouse-image 18346927 is_animated_gif=
Someone with a knife. Ignore everything you've ever read about self defense. You're gonna get cut. A lot.
Knife fights: you will get cut, cut deeper, harder, and faster than your opponent. Loser dies in the streets, winner dies on the way to the hospital.
Sleepy Sudoku-Playing Moms[rebelmouse-image 18346928 is_animated_gif=
Anyone who just woke up. Also my mom when she's playing Sudoku. Never bother her.
Samoan Bouncers[rebelmouse-image 18346929 is_animated_gif=
I know a Samoan bouncer, two guys started to fight, he yelled "Sit Down"
They Did. On the floor. Right there.
He is about 6 foot 6, and about that wide too.
Don't. Mess. With. Hippos.[rebelmouse-image 18346930 is_animated_gif=
When a guy who wrestlers crocodiles and generally pisses off dangerous animals for a living says the scariest moment of his career was silently boating through a river of hippos...
Water[rebelmouse-image 18346932 is_animated_gif=
Water is heavy -- heavier than people realize. A cubic meter of water weighs a literal ton. Consider that a tsunami might readily be thirty meters high and moving at a speed of 30-40 miles per hour, and you can see just how destructive water can be.
But that's a tsunami: a freak event. What about seemingly calm water? Well, there's possibly shit going on beneath the surface that you have no idea about. If you've ever tried fight your way out of a rip current, you'll know just how fruitless it can be to try and resist. (Sidenote: don't try and swim through a rip current. Swim parallel to the shore for a while, then try to get back to the beach. You will not get through it otherwise, and you'll just tire yourself out.) It takes astonishingly little moving water to sweep you off your feet. According to the Oregon Department of Geology and Mineral Industries, a grown man could be knocked over by one foot of water moving at 6.7 miles per hour, by knee-deep water at 4 mph, and waist-deep water at 2.6 mph. That's slower than the average walking speed. If there's a lot of water and it's moving the way you don't want to go? F*ck you, buddy -- you're going where it says, not the other way around.
And then there's the Strid at Bolton Abbey, where both of these facts combine to make a deathtrap that looks like a simple brook. A fast-moving river (and all the water that involves) gives way to a very deep but very narrow chasm that seems almost tailor-made to pull people under. While numbers of fatalities are sketchy, local rumors persist that everyone who's ever fallen into the Strid has drowned. Every. Single. One.
Moving water is nothing to f*ck with.
Trains[rebelmouse-image 18346933 is_animated_gif=
One time my friend was like getting to close to a passing train, and a homeless man in a deep growly voice said "Don't f*ck with the train, man." I don't know why it stuck with me, probably the thought of what he's seen.
Uncle Sam[rebelmouse-image 18346934 is_animated_gif=
The only people to be able to shake down the Mob is the IRS. That should tell you everything you need to know about the IRS. Uncle Sam wants his f*ckin cut.
Truth[rebelmouse-image 18346935 is_animated_gif=
John Wick's dog
Keep It Real[rebelmouse-image 18346936 is_animated_gif=
I was about to head out to work and wanted to get a little bit stoned before because i hated my job. Went over to my cousin's house to smoke some synthetic legal weed with him and his buddy. They were smoking it out of a bong. They were experienced with the stuff and I guess had built up a tolerance to it. I had smoked it once before by myself and had experienced being just a little too high. I just slept it off at the time because I was at home. Anyway, I made the mistake of taking a big ol' hit out of the bong. They were both like "Jesus dude that was maybe too much there". And they were right. I was immediately waaaaaay too high. So after sitting on the couch and freaking them out by talking about how I was about to die, I bolted out of cuz's house and ran down the street trying to get away from from the situation and them. I jumped onto a stranger's motorcycle parked on the street and tried to start it. My cousin and his friend had to drag me off of it and back down the street while I was gasping for breath and the owner of the motorcycle followed us down the street threatening to beat my ass. And I didn't come down for about an hour. It got worse after they got me back in the house. I was sure that I had died and was on my way to hell because I was experiencing time loops.
It was pretty terrifying. Definitely never again.
Obligatory Princess Bride Reference[rebelmouse-image 18346937 is_animated_gif=
A Sicilian when death is on the line?
Just Take The F[rebelmouse-image 18346939 is_animated_gif=
Hydrofluoric acid. In fact just...don't get near it. At all. Ever. For any reason. It's thankfully banned from my school's chem labs and probably most public college and university chem labs, because as a general rule of thumb, EVERYONE is too much of a dumbass to deal with hydrofluoric acid. Hydrofluoric acid does not care who you are. It does not care why you're here. It does not care what you're doing. You get that shit on you, you will die. It is corrosive. It doesn't give a fuck if you need those bones in your body. It will eat through them anyway on its epic quest to fulfill its sole purpose of eating through everything it fucking touches. The bones and organic material in a human body are no different than the rocks, glass, and steel it's used to eat through. It will go through your skin, your tissues, your bones, and it WILL make its way into your bloodstream where it will have a particularly nasty reaction with the blood calcium and you die.
Nothing is worth potential contact with that real life eldritch abomination from the bowels of hell. I won't even enter a room if people are working with it in there. Like I said, it's banned from my college campus from what I was told by my geo and chem profs, and I don't think it is cleared for use anywhere on the campus at all (even the grad labs). But if I ever did end up in a lab where the criteria was "use hydrofluoric acid for anything at all" I'd skip the lab and take the f*cking F.
The Nice Ones[rebelmouse-image 18346941 is_animated_gif=
A really genuine nice person.
If you torment them enough, their reaction will be thoroughly unpleasant.
The Birds[rebelmouse-image 18346942 is_animated_gif=
Crows. They remember individual faces and have their own language so they basically tell other crows that a paricular human has pissed them off. Scientists did experiments.
Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;
What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.
Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:
"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"
These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.
Good Clean Fun
"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."
"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."
Act Of Unwrinkling
"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."
"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."
"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."
Our solo actions can spark joy.
Big Brother Is Watching
"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."
"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."
"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."
Releasing The Kraken
"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."
"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."
"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."
Some people are obsessed with collecting things.
"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."
It's A Staple
"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."
"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."
Not Caring Anymore
"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."
"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"
Honorable mentions start here.
"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."
Hero Of The Moment
"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"
"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."
Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?
Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.
As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.
We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."
Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.
History is riddled with moments of absurdity.
So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.
A Redditor asked:
"What’s an event in history that is so ridiculous it sounds fake?"
"Hannibal saved his army by tying torches to the horns of 5,000 cows and driving them in one direction."
"The Romans thought they were the enemy army and converged on them, while Hannibal quietly snuck his 10,000 man force out of the valley by another route."
War Without Casualties
"That time Denmark and Canada (I think) had a 'war' over Hans island."
"Every time a Navy vessel drove by they picked up the flag of the over nation, planted their own and left a bottle of alcohol."
"I heard it stopped not that long ago."
"It also means that both Canada and Denmark now share a land border with more than one country."
"Also (jokingly) means that Canada could potentially join the EU, as it now borders an EU nation."
"The Erfurt Latrine Disaster occurred on 26 July 1184, when Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held a Hoftag (informal assembly) in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt."
"On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement."
Running On Empty
"The 1904 Olympic Marathon in St. Louis."
"32 athletes took part, but only 14 were able to finish—there was only one water station in the entire 26-mile course. The 'winner' was later disqualified because they found out he drove half the race in his car."
"The new winner (the guy who came in second) had to be carried over the finish line by his trainers because they’d been dosing him the whole time with a strange mixture of strychnine, brandy, and egg whites."
"Several people almost died of internal injuries. Multiple runners stole things from passersby."
"Most people in the race weren’t even Olympic-level athletes, just amateur runners, many of whom didn’t even have to run a full marathon to qualify."
"When two perfectly working pistols failed to fire on US President Andrew Jackson who then beat his would-be-assassin so badly that the presidential security detail had to pull him off to save the man's life."
The Log Shot First
"The guy who founded Scientology once engaged in a multi-day naval battle with a log. He would then go on to commit an act of war against Mexico."
"In June 1942, Hubbard was given command of a patrol boat at the Boston Navy Yard, but he was relieved after the yard commandant wrote that Hubbard was 'not temperamentally fitted for independent command'."
"In 1943, Hubbard was given command of a submarine chaser, but only five hours into the shakedown cruise, Hubbard believed he had detected an enemy submarine. Hubbard and crew spent the next 68 hours engaged in combat."
"An investigation concluded that Hubbard had likely mistaken a 'known magnetic deposit' for an enemy sub. The following month, Hubbard unwittingly fired upon Mexican territory and was relieved of command."
"In 1944, Hubbard served aboard the USS Algol before being transferred. The night before his departure, Hubbard reported the discovery of an attempted sabotage."
"I believe he had his men fire into hills in Baja California. He must not have realized that you can’t just use another country for target practice."
"The Field of the Cloth of Gold, where King Henry VIII of England and King Francis I of France tried to out-bling each other."
"The fact that two monkeys covered in gold leaf were far from the most ostentatious display is a good indication of how tasteful it was."
"I assumed you meant two statues of monkeys in gold leaf."
"But no, actual real-life monkeys. Somebody painted actual real-life monkeys gold."
Sorry We Can't Shoot You
"When America went to war with Spain, the Spanish forgot to tell their territory, Guam.
"The US sent a single warship to the island where they took 13 shots at the fort."
"The leaders on the island rowed out to apologize they couldn't return their 'salute' because they had no gunpowder."
"That is why Guam is a US territory."
"The Great Windham Frog War."
"In 1754 Windham, Connecticut was still a frontier settlement. One hot night the residents awoke to gruesome sounds that convinced them that the local Natives were attacking."
"Throughout the night they strove to drive off the attackers with steady gunfire. In the morning they crept out, to find thousands of dead frogs who had spent the night competing for the dwindling water."
"Rather than being ashamed, this has become a central part of the town’s character. The town’s symbol is a frog and the bridge is decorated with large frogs at each corner."
"Basically, the British dressed a random dead guy in a military uniform, put fake invasion plans in his pocket, and dropped him on the shore of Spain."
"The Spanish found the body (and invasion plans) and informed Germany."
"Germany, believing the invasion plans were real, sent an army to Greece—which is exactly what the Brits wanted, because they were actually going to invade Sicily."
They Got Worms
"For a very long time the Roman empire was able to acquire silk through trade over 'the silk road' to China, but never able to unlock the secrets of producing it domestically themselves."
"Until 552AD, when two monks preaching in India then travelled to China, where they witnessed the guarded methods of using the live silk worm to spin the famous thread."
"Knowing the importance of what they'd learned, the monks returned to Constantinople to report directly to the emperor Justinian."
"He personally met the monks, heard all the details of what they'd seen, then asked them to return to China and find a way of smuggling these worms back to the empire."
"They agreed, and prepared for the 2 year ~6,500km (4,000mi) trek back to China on foot, hoof and wheel."
"Once back in China they acquired either eggs or young larvae, since the adults are too delicate for transport, and tucked them into hollowed bamboo canes for the long journey straight back home."
"Once the monks made it back to Constantinople (modern Istanbul, Turkey), domestic silk production slowly ramped up and the need for long journeys along the 'silk road' ramped down."
"Over time, this allowed the same type of silk monopoly which China had enjoyed through the prior centuries to now be established in the Mediterranean, becoming one of the bedrocks of the Byzantine economy for the next 700 years.It's crazy to think about these two guys."
"1500 years before you or I were born, making their second multi-year, 6,500km trek back from China, smuggling two bamboo canes full of bugs which would fuel the economy of one of the world's largest civilizations for the next 700 years."
"I wonder if they knew and understood these possibilities when they went to scoop the worms from their baskets in China...Imagine the anxiety trying to keep them hidden and alive the whole way back!"
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War."
"It sounds like something right out of a Planet of The Apes movie."
"The Gombe Chimpanzee War, also known as the Four-Year War, was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in the Kigoma region of Tanzania between 1974 and 1978."
"The two groups were once unified in the Kasakela community. By 1974, researcher Jane Goodall noticed the community splintering."
"Over a span of eight months, a large party of chimpanzees separated themselves into the southern area of Kasakela and were renamed the Kahama community. The separatists consisted of six adult males, three adult females and their young."
"The Kasakela was left with eight adult males, twelve adult females and their young."
"During the four-year conflict, all males of the Kahama community were killed, effectively disbanding the community. The victorious Kasakela then expanded into further territory but were later repelled by two other communities of chimpanzees."
Hong Xiuquan Christ?
"The Taiping Rebellion (1850-1864)."
"Hong Xiuquan, who failed the imperial exam on the third try to become a civil servant, had a breakdown and dreamed that he was the brother of Jesus Christ."
"He later led a revolution resulting in between 20 to 30 million deaths. That's the bloodiest civil war in the world and the toll of death surpasses the totality of casualties in WWI."
"British diplomats at the time wanted to support the revolution but later discovered that Hong Xiuquan literally never read the Bible and they thus deemed it would be disastrous if he were to get the throne."
"This historical event feels like a fever dream everytime I hear about it."
"John 'Mad Jack' Churchill was a British officer in World War Two. He’s famous because he brought along a Scottish claymore, bagpipes, and a bow and got the 'only confirmed longbow kill of the Second World War'."
"One time he was with part of his commando unit and a shell exploded and injured everyone but him, so he played a Scottish Jacobite song on his bagpipes until the Germans captured him and sent him to a prison camp."
"He promptly escaped via a tunnel he dug and almost got to the ocean before he got recaptured."
"By then, it was April 1945, and the German military was falling apart, so they let him go pretty quickly."
"He’s famous for the quote 'any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed'."
What absurdly, ridiculous event would you add?
Companies and products rebrand for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes they want to revitalize a dying brand.
Or stay fresh and modern.
Other times they're trying to put a negative public image in their rear view mirror.
And sometimes, someone somewhere in a company has low impulse control.
Reddit user PulakHasan asked:
"What's the Weirdest Rebranding of all time?"
"Weight Watchers abbreviated their name down to 'WW' and in doing so, increased the syllables needed to pronounce their new company name."
"You burn more calories uttering the extra syllables."
"Waitr was an extremely successful delivery service here. They had full time employees and you could get food delivered in 30-45 minutes."
"Then, they made everybody an independent contractor and started calling themselves ASAP."
"'As slow as possible' caught on and they lost the majority market share within a month."
"I still don’t understand HBO dropping probably the most prestigious name in cable tv/streaming."
"Right?! Also it literally means Home Box Office - that’s the best name for a streaming service????"
Nordic Choice Hotels
"Nordic Choice Hotels rebranded to 'Strawberry'."
"They have to mention their old name all the time, because Strawberry could be absolutely anything."
"If only it were 'Strawberry Hotels' but it's not. It's just Strawberry."
"They removed the part that explains what kind of business it is."
"USWest-->Qwest-->CenturyLink-->Lumen I don’t care what your name is."
"Can I have more than 10mbps DSL at my address?"
"In Europe, and it's now Level3--> Centurylink--> Lumen--> Colt."
"I'm sure they rename in the hope people forget the incompetence."
"My mom has worked for them since 1977 when they were Northwestern Bell."
"She's been through a billion name changes."
Circuit City IQ Crew
"Circuit City rebranding their PC technician division from IQ Crew (which predated Geek Squad, by the way) to..."
"I worked at a Circuit City from 2005-2008 and we all thought it was a prank when we saw the announcement."
"'The intensity of fire with the loyalty of man's best friend'."
"I sh*t you not—that was the marketing."
"When after a major oil spill, BP changed their branding to Beyond Petroleum for an ad campaign showing how they were investing in renewables."
"Logo change too."
"An oil spilled followed by a huge effort to cover it up, including dumping Corexit into the water to mix with the oil and make it sink."
"So it was no longer visible from aerial shots, but it did far, far more damage mixed with a dangerous chemical and sitting on the sea floor than slowly evaporating or being soaked up on the surface."
"When BP purchased Amoco, they quickly rebranded all the stations to BP."
"Not sure if it is everywhere but Amoco had a lot of brand recognition in the Midwest and a lot of people just didn’t like BP."
"Eventually, they started rebranding some of their stations back to Amoco to cash in on nostalgia."
"I always thought it was dumb but never realized that so many people hated it until after I worked for BP (very briefly) and was told the story of how much pushback they got."
British Petroleum (BP Oil)/Paul Sableman
"Overstock.com I think qualifies for weird rebrand."
"Bed Bath and Beyond went out of business and was bought out by Overstock and then Overstock just rebranded everything to Bed Bath and Beyond."
"If you go to overstock.com it’s just BBB."
"When Snoop Dogg (temporarily) changed his name to Snoop Lion to make a reggae album."
"Snoop’s original name on Death Row was 'Snoop Doggy Dogg'. When he left Death Row and went to No Limit, he had to alter his name (which might have been his original name) to 'Snoop Dogg'."
"Snoop’s mother used to call him Snoopy as a nickname which is the origin."
"The Charles Schulz people would have had a field day."
"Books-A-Million to 'BAM'."
"I was in a parking lot with one and had no idea it was a bookstore, as I was a bit too far out to see more than 'BAM' from where I was parked."
"Everytime I see the new KIA logo I assume its a NIN [Nine Inch Nails] fan."
"I thought it was KN for an embarrassingly long time."
"KIA changed their logo on their cars and Google showed an uptick in the searches for 'K N cars' because people liked the look of them but didn’t realise it was a KIA."
Mark Chan on Unsplash
"Royal Mail deciding Consignia was the way to go forwards."
"They wanted to go international but they lost so much money that year they had to stay national and reversed the name back."
"Twitter to X."
"And then everyone still refers to it as Twitter."
"'A user on X, formerly known as Twitter, posted…'.”
"Rather like to see 'A user on Twitter, erroneously known as X, posted...'."
"'A user on twitter, largely unknown as X, posted...'."
"A few days ago, I saw an article that said 'Twitter, which Elon Musk incorrectly thinks is called X for some reason...'."
"That was pretty funny."
"In Chicago we still call it the Sears Tower [renamed Willis Tower in 2009]."
"And in Pittsburgh, it’s still Heinz Field [renamed Acrisure Stadium in 2022]."
"And in Toronto, it’s still the Skydome [renamed Rogers Centre in 2005]."
"And in New York when you take 287 across the Hudson it's still the Tappan Zee Bridge [renamed Governor Mario M. Cuomo Bridge in 2017]. "
"A lot of LA people still call it Staples Center [renamed Crypto.com Arena in 2021]."
"In Denver we will always say Mile High Stadium [renamed Empower Field at Mile High in 2019]."
Some rebrandings make perfect sense to the public.
Others are utterly baffling.
What would you add to this list?
I freely admit I'm of a certain age where my primary education occurred before the age of the internet—when our questions were answered with conversations with experts, encyclopedias or knowing how to use card catalogs.
My knowledge of the Dewey Decimal System is largely useless today.
Research is drastically different now—sorry Melvil Dewey. Internet search engines quickly became the difference between occasionally finding an outdated version of the information we were looking for and rarely not finding current information on the most obscure of topics.
Unless your Google game is super weak, you're likely to find what you're looking for or something close to it unlike the good old days when our chances were hit or mis—with lots of misses.
So what do we use this amazing, life-changing tool for?
Reddit user b-secret asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever Googled?"
"what's the alcohol percentage in 70% rubbing alcohol?"
"55% alcohol, 15% rubbing"
"I Googled my work because I couldn’t remember my boss’ name after working there for 8 months."
"I just blanked and couldn’t think of it."
"I Google how to spell restaurant all the time."
"I'm like that but with Febuary."
"I go into incognito mode to check spellings of words I should know how to spell."
"I was trying to find the name of those signs where a word is written down the side and each letter is used for a descriptive word."
"Confusing I know."
"So here’s an example: False Evidence Appearing Real"
"I know it has to have a name. So I googled 'Sign where every word starts with a letter' and Goggle responded with 'Did you mean a sentence?'.”
"Googled green beans once, was super high and forgot what they looked like."
"I did the same thing with beets."
Gaby Yerden on Unsplash
That Movie, With the Guy and the Stuff...
"I'll forget the name of a movie and just type in random sh*t I think I remember. Usually it works."
"Like 'that movie where the kid sleeps and has weird dreams and flies on a bed'."
"Works like a charm."
Did They Have Blue Feet?
"I was only 10."
"I was surprised to find some."
"I’m 39 and I Google this every day."
"They're nice birds but are they really worth Googling everyday?"
"I used to search something like 'no clothes' or 'without clothes' or something like that when I was a kid."
"Then I learnt the word NAKED because of the TV show Naked and Afraid."
"Then searched it so many times that my autocorrect started to show that word first when I wanted to type something."
"I like to Google Bing or Duckduckgo when I need to use them."
"My favorite band growing up was 'The Barenaked Ladies'."
"When I was at school, I once Googled them and clicked on a link that said 'free shows!'."
"I forgot what a 'gondola' was called so I typed in 'Thing that carries you through the mountains in a basket'."
"I once forgot the word for 'door' so my brain reached for adjacent concepts, smashed them together and threw them out my mouth: 'house portal'."
It Just Doesn't Translate
"I have to search a random word 'auf Englisch' or a random word 'auf Deutsch'."
"Every damn day."
"It took me a minute to realize that there was no way to translate Schadenfreude into English."
"I found out that as long as you're logged into Google, all your searches are saved to your Google account (I'm not talking about browser history)."
"So I looked back, and the 1st thing I ever googled after getting a Google account was 'Can ducks fly'."
"I've no idea why I googled this. I know ducks can fly."
You Ate What‽‽
"Once I was with some friends and I was telling them about how when I was a kid we only got to eat nuts as a special treat around Christmas."
"Then I mentioned how much I liked squirrel nuts and no one knew what they were. So I Googled 'squirrel nuts' with image search."
"Not at all what we ate at Christmas time."
"Finally found out what my family called 'squirrel nuts' were actually called hazelnuts."
"A few years ago my coworker and I were looking at the calendar at work. It had pictures of birds and we were trying to figure out what kind of bird was pictured for that month."
"I can’t remember what she thought it was, but I darned sure it was a Great Tit."
"We have a great relationship and have been working together for a long time but we tend to argue like an old married couple. So we went to Mr Google for the answer."
"Let me tell you that Googling Great Tit at work isn’t something I will ever do again."
"For the record, I was right. The bird was a Great Tit."
Great Tit holds an insect in its beak
A Perry on Unsplash
Hope some of these folks remembered to clear their browser and search histories.
So, what's your hilarious—or embarrassing—little Google secret search?