Men. Just be men. And by that I mean, just be a good human. You really have nothing to prove against a facade that has been constructed to define what a man should be. You don't have to... and should not just beat people up. The definition of manhood does not lie in physical strength. That is a myth. And men... don't harm yourself to prove a myth. This is a topic that needs dissertations and long provoked conversations. Let us begin.....Redditor u/CarsonFijal wanted to reach out to all the boys out there and discuss some behavior that needs to be discussed.... time to get a few things clear.... they asked.... What is the dumbest thing you've ever seen a man do to "prove" their "manhood"?
That Stings....nicolas cage bees GIF Giphy
This one kid at my old school ate a bee to prove he wasn't scared of them.
Knew a dude who said "oven mitts are for wussies" and then proceeded to grab a hot pizza tray out of the oven bare handed.
Worked with a few chefs who did this all the time, they literally had no feeling in their hands and would walk around with a 200 degree gastro tray for longer than necessary to prove it. I must admit, i thought it was pretty cool.
Jump off a balcony onto an uneven, rocky hillside. The first time he did it, he only got a few scrapes. Second time, he broke his leg and wouldn't admit he needed medical attention until 24 hours later when he passed out from the pain.
Real men don't need crutches damnit! crawls on the ground dragging his broken leg like a limp penis.
That's Not a Horse....swamp people alligator GIF Giphy
Try to 'ride' an alligator.
Uh, a friend in Florida told me about their Florida man who saw a manatee laying the edge of a river. Seeking to show off, he decided to jump from the bank above, 4-5 feet up, and try to land on it's back. What he didn't know is it was dead and bloated. He basically pierced it in the center landing on the bottom of the river. When he stood up to scream it was all over his face.
Up the Nose....
I once knew a person who in college (that's UK college not US college), who would legit snort anything that people dared him to snort just to see their effects on him. List of things he snorted off the top of my head and salt, pepper, sugar, cookie crumbs, basically any spice in dust form people could get their hands on, various liquids, and pretty much anything else you could crumble up. Worse out of all of them weirdly for him was the cookie crumbs. Dude looked like he was gonna die after snorting those.
With One Hand....happy will arnett GIF Giphy
Coming from a server. Man literally said he didn't need or want help. (maybe he didn't want to share the tip? Who knows bro) anyway, carried 15 drinks on one tray with TWO full coffee pots and broke every single glass. Did not see that man after that shift. Tried to do this all with one hand.
Mark of the Beasts....
EDIT: Fraternities do it, my ex has 2 brands on his pelvis and one on his chest. His frat bro has 24, including his tongue. Others find out too late that they don't scar like normal they keloid. Which is like a bubbly looking scar tissue growing over where the brand was supposed to be. He had to have surgery to remove it, turned green & puss-filled while healing and left with huge ugly scars.
Great Balls of Fire....
I knew of a dude in the Army that dangled his testicles over a fire ant hill in Ft. Benning Georgia. Those fire ants will kill a mouse or a lizard instantly. He was hospitalized for a long time and did not finish training with us.
Don't be flammable....
Light his arm on fire, with lighter fluid. He had to have skin grafts.
I remember back in my high school days when I was young and stupid me and my friends used to surprise light random parts of each other on fire as a joke. Of course it had to be on some part of clothing (and when that wouldn't be affected by it so no polystyrenes) and we'd just randomly sneak up them, spray them with a flammable aerosol spray (usually a deodorant) normally on their arm and spark it on fire and just watch them freak out. The aerosol sprays were relatively cool burning flames and they'd die out quickly so there was never much danger but boy did it get some horrified reactions from the wrong passerbys.
Did you want kids?ouch the brady bunch GIF by TV Land Classic Giphy
Purposefully get kicked in the testicles.
I remember when I was in college, frat boys played this game called Rochambeau, where two guys squared off, and each took a turn kicking the other in the testicles. Whoever lasted the longest, "won."
Down for the count
I've worked as a bouncer. Drinking too much and picking a fight with me is waaaaay too common. And really stupid. They end up pepper sprayed and handcuffed, waiting for the police. Real manly looking.
I never understood the thought behind going for a bouncer. You guys are sober and usually built like a brick shit house. Why would it be a good idea to try to fight someone like that when you can barely walk straight to start with?
Bottoms Downdrunk on one GIF Giphy
Trying to outdrink his friends. It just turns into a bunch of dudes all drinking more than they can handle and ruining their night and sometimes ruining everybody else's night too.
"I'm not cold"
The "I'm not cold" guy, and his cousin, the "sunblock is for wussies" guy. The former likes to stand around outside in the snow in just a t-shirt and shorts, making fun of men dressed properly for winter. The later thinks 'real men' aren't afraid of sunburns or skin cancer, and ridicules men that use sunblock. Both are equally stupid.
My ex was a "sunblock is for idiots" guy. And he got SOOO freaking sunburnt. All. The. Time. And bad. It was so irritating. He was white as hell. I'm half Mexican and, while pasty in the winter, I tan well and RARELY get burnt. Even if I'm not wearing sunblock, I don't burn often. But the sun can be harmful, regardless of your skin tone, and I still wear sunblock.
He was also a "I don't wash my hands unless I'm in the shower" guy. Which. Ew. He went hunting with his friend, cut (butchered? Idk I'm vegetarian) the meat, stored it, and didn't wash his damn hands. I wasn't there so I didn't know. About a day later, he was feeling sick and couldn't figure out why?! Wtf. Also he was a major hypochondriac, and wouldn't wash his hands. EVER. But couldn't figure out why he was always sick.
Let her Run....
Slightly tangential, but still relevant.
Boot camp and we were doing our fitness test; had to run a mile and a half, best effort, usual army bull.
I'm not much of a runner, but I can pass the test fine. Heading into the final stretch and a girl from our sister troop started pulling past me. My Sgt starts screaming at me "SAXOPHOOL YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET A FREAKING GIRL BEAT YOU?!?!?!?!"
Ummmm, yeah? She's a damn good runner!
I carried on at my pace, finished the test and passed with plenty of time to spare.
Sgt. pulls me aside and gives me a proper bollocking about letting the troop down, embarrassing myself, etc. I just let him yell and promised myself to never think like that. 20 years later and I still wouldn't give a flying fig if a girl beat me in any fitness test.
Need a Diaperangry bridesmaids GIF Giphy
Pooped his pants. He wanted to show he was a real man by farting and we'll, it wasn't just a fart.
Light his leg on fire with Axe body spray and sustained 3rd degree burns as a result. We all just talked crap how stupid he was. But he wanted to show us how... Dangerous he was. It was funny I will say that. I did laugh until I fell to the ground. Because he panicked and flailed after he lit himself on fire and jumped over a fence for no reason. There was absolutely no reason to jump a chain link fence to put out a fire. Then he complained for like 2 weeks how bad his leg hurt. Like Duh you idiot! .
I hate to say it about the man in my own family but it's the truth and that shoot huge firearms without earplugs, weld without a respirator, paint in the old days when house paint contained lead, lose their sense of smell because they worked in a water treatment plant with chlorine, siphon gas back in the day when it still contained lead, change oil back in the day with bare hands soaked in engine oil, break open car batteries without gloves or goggles, etc. Mind you it wasn't intentional but my grandparents and great grandparents grew up in a time before OSHA safety regulations and have a tendency to look down on us my generation when we try to practice safety nowadays.
Not to a Girl!
One time, we were running a mile in gym class and I was one of the few to finish first. But while I was running to the finish line a boy started SPRINTING to the finish line. He was chanting, "I'm not going to lose to a girl." He ran passed me and beat me to the finish line by like four seconds. This was in high school too.
Feel It....idiots GIF Giphy
Staple his leg with a staple gun to demonstrate that he "doesn't feel pain like normal people."
Spoiler alert, he does.
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