Sometimes doing less just feels good in the moment. Being lazy isn't always a bad thing, sometimes it always being lazy. Being extra tired is a thing. It can feel impossible to get up and brush your teeth before sleep if you're already in the bed after a long day. And once and awhile, peeing in the sink is more efficient if it's feet before the toilet. (Not that I would know).
Redditor wanted to discuss all those times we've been less than energetic to function... they asked.... Lazy people of Reddit, what is the laziest thing you've done?walk away....
gotta go how to get away with murder GIF by HULU
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When i was about 7 or 8, i had a small piece of paper (think it was a candy wrapper) which i had to discard. I was too lazy to walk to the kitchen to throw it into the bin so I ate it.
less carbs...
Didn't want to make lunch, so I just... didn't eat.
I do this a lot. I skip meals just because I'm too lazy to cook something or go get something. If I'm really hungry I'll eat a handful of almonds which requires very little effort.
Extra Cheese Please....
I once put instructions to go to the right side of the house and deliver a pizza to the first window (my bedroom). I didn't feel like walking to the front of the house to get my pizza.
Driver obliged, and got a very nice tip.
I used to work at a pizza place and the college students in the apartments across the street used to order all the time.
I loved it, I have a ton of energy and it felt great to tear out the front door and sprint to the apartment to deliver, then sprint back.
Then for some reason the owner forbid us from walking deliveries, so I had to navigate the one way streets and bad parking, which meant it took me 2 to 3 times as long (when he was in the store).
I'm Here...
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I was in a bar once and was too lazy to leave and go across the street to pick up food for dinner so I had them deliver it to me on the second barstool from the left.
I'll get Dentures....
I never like to go to bed without brushing and flossing my teeth. However, I despise the actual process of brushing and flossing even though it takes all of a few minutes. And so the number of times in the past that I've stayed up several hours later than I meant to just because I didn't feel like taking a few minutes to brush and floss is just sad. (I don't really do this so much anymore though. I still hate it but I just kinda just grit my teeth and go for it so I can go to bed when I actually mean to, lol.)
Lights Out...
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Brother: "Hey, I gotta tell you something."
I come to his room.
Brother: "Turn off the light please."
Want 30 seconds?
When I heat something up in the microwave, for say, a minute, I never enter 1:00 because I don't want to move my finger over to the zero it's always 1:11. Or like 33 seconds rather than 30... don't want to wear out my microwave finger.
You need a microwave like mine. Press the 1 does 1 minute, single press. Same up to 8. Want 30 seconds? Press the start button. You can combine these too. Love it!
Soups not on....
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Going to sleep early instead of cooking myself dinner.
I did this all the time when I was single.
Threes....
When I was a teenager and on summer break I once spent 3 days on a lazy boy in my living room watching tv. I'm more comfortable not wearing pants but people kept coming and going so I pretended to wear shorts for 3 days by just laying them over my legs. My parents were concerned to say the least.
Dad Code...
My dad was infamous for this but I learned a lot of Latino dads did this. I would be in my room and he would call for me like if he's getting attacked. When I meet him in the living room, he would ask me to hand him the remote.... that's on the same couch..... a little more than arm's reach.
Edit: Holy. I guess it's part of Dad code no matter where you are!
Que?
I didn't do my homework, so I acted like I didn't understand and had the teacher do the assignment for me.
I did something similar. In 6th grade, I didn't want to do a book report, so I claimed that my computer kept crashing so I had to do it during school.
An Hour Off...
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Waiting six months instead of changing the clocks for daylight savings.
Too Far...
I delayed my university convocation by six months because I was too lazy to send an email confirming my attendance.
My laptop was even in the same room as me, I just couldn't reach it from my bed.
That's me in actually four hours, when I will not have passed my last course because I didn't study a single hour.
Edit: after writing this I indeed started to study. Yet I miserably failed at the exam. I feel no regret I managed to pass 3 courses with minimal study time this exam season.
Awful.
When I was younger I was a real brat (15ish) and asked my mum to bring me crackers. Clearly I was too lazy to get off my butt and get it myself. A few minutes later I tried to shut my door but couldn't reach it with my hands so I kicked it with my feet. Unbeknownst to me my mum was waking in with the crackers at that exact moment and slammed the door into her and the crackers.
God I'm an awful person.
Laser Switch....
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Taught my cat how to turn off the kitchen light with a laser pointer when I forgot to once.
It's really useful, and only a little annoying when she does it while I'm still in the kitchen.
Arms Away....
I turn off the electric heater in my home office, which I can reach if I lean to my right a bit, with a widget on my phone for the wifi smart plug. I don't touch my phone to do it, I use screen mirroring on my desktop to control my phone, which is an arms length away from me.
Thanks Mom and Dad....
Pro-level laziness always requires investment. When I was a kid I attached a string to my bedroom light switch and ran it through pulleys or eyehooks or something over to my bed. It took hours to set up, but I liked to read in bed at night before going to sleep and I wanted a way to turn off the light without getting up. I enjoyed that luxury for months, until I was forced to take it down by unreasonable parents.
Looking back on it now as an adult, it was totally worth it, just like I thought then.
Off the shelf....
I've definitely spent some hours playing a video game I wasn't really in the mood to play because that was the disc that was in the console. But my SO has me beat: she will avoid taking a juice glass from the cupboard if there is no single, unstacked glass available. I'm impressed by that level of laziness.
Clothes Off....
Had a pile of clothes on my bed one time, rather than put them away, just pulled out a cover and a pillow, slept on the couch for a week or so. Would get home in the evening, shower, throw dirty clothes in the hamper, then pick off a t-shirt and some jeans in the morning on my way out till there were no more clothes on the bed.
Sitting Pro....
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Bought a gym membership to shut my wife up but I would just sit in the car and watch movies on my laptop.
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Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.