People Explain Which Jobs Will Pay You To Do Almost Nothing
"Reddit user Ubarberet asked: 'What job pays you to do literally nothing?'"
How can we make money by barely breaking a sweat?
Inquiring minds want to know.
If it's not about a career but just cashing a check, let's make it easy.
Nobody wants to work hard labor for nothing.
If it's for almost nothing, then I should be able to nap while I'm there.
Actually, there's a job that pay pretty well that let's you do exactly that!
Redditor Ubarberet wanted to hear about the jobs where we can collect a check for basically not working, so they asked:
"What job pays you to do literally nothing?"
I will be getting a pen and paper and writing down all of these suggestions.
More money, less work?
I'm in.
Night. Night.
Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy"Professional sleeper. You’re hired by mattress and blanket companies to test their latest products before they go commercial."
FakeEnglishmen47
Third Shift
"3rd shift security guard. Easiest s**t ever. Just don't get caught sleeping."
StraightsJacket
"What you're saying is if you want to rob a place, make sure it's during 3rd shift."
lovetyrannicalreddit
"The pros already know this. But scout your location cuz the grave guys aren’t the ones you want catching you."
"Think of it this way; dayshift security is like the crew of a cruise ship (more customer service oriented), graveshift are your old school privateers (pirates). Some have an eye patch, a limp, a penchant for violence, and you don’t want them catching you alone on the open water."
luda60
Not a bad gig...
"Knew a guy who worked at a general electronics place. He was a typical retail dude but got promoted to be a 'repairman' in the back. He got no extra training and was just told to do what he could and if he couldn't fix it then refer them elsewhere. He didn't know sh*t about repairs. He would be on his phone most of the day and when someone brought him a broken phone he'd try to turn it on, if it didn't work he handed it back. He spent most of his time on his phone in the back. Not a bad gig.
Nollypasda
Just There
"I was the white guy for a company in South East Asia. I had no job responsibilities. Just turn up and sit at my desk and Reddit all day. Occasionally I’d put a suit on and go to the owner’s fancy meetings in restaurants, and not say a thing. Or turn up at some building project. I mostly took Xanax and slept on my desk or snuck over to the bar next door."
RonaldTheGiraffe
Bored
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My last job. technically I got to send faxes and open the mail, but that was an hour of work tops. It was mostly watching YouTube and being bored out of my mind."
disregardable
People still send faxes?
I haven't seen a fax machine since the aughts.
Abysmal
GIF by Young ThugGiphy"Firefighter at a rural, but paid, department. Most of my day is napping or binge-watching stuff on my laptop. The pay is abysmal though."
dietcoketm
Who?
"Security guard for a nonfamous rich person's house."
glencoaMan
"Had an unofficial gig doing house sitting for a rich friend of a relative. Was paid decent money to live on the property, and walk around the land a couple of times a day. Dead quiet at night and a pretty big space with no one else, so I can't really say it was relaxing."
reverze1901
Light Delivery
"A friend of mine is a 'concierge' in an up-market, small-build apartment block in a leafy suburb. He said the most he usually has to do is take in people's mail/parcel delivery or help older residents if they need to move furniture, etc. (and he said that in itself is quite rare). He mainly sits in a cushy office and listens to music/watches movies."
Nefilim777
5 to 30 minutes of pretending...
"Professional white man. In China, I had a side gig to be a white guy at various places. I would just pretend to be working for a company when tours and investors came through. I guess a Chinese company looks more successful if there is a white person. Then there was the sitting on the stage looking important during inevitable presentations."
"No actual work, just 5 to 30 minutes of pretending during a workday. Other than that you do what you want. Just be well-groomed and well-dressed. Sometimes I was told to be on the phone pretending to be making an important deal. Got business cards and everything."
mrhoof
Get that bag, Nana...
"The last time I was at Walmart, there were old people sitting in chairs by the gardening exit, presumably to check receipts or stop shoplifters. But company policy is not to try to stop shoplifters, it is dangerous. So they were all just sitting in their chairs and playing on their phones. I was like, 'Get that bag, Nana. You... deserve to play Candy Crush on the billionaire dime!'"
Comments_Wyoming
Spooky Spooks
Gonna Die Black Metal GIF by KiszkiloszkiGiphy"Graveyard security. 90% of the job is downtime, 9% is 'Move along, sir' and 1% 'HOLY F**KING S**T!!!'"
WhichWhereas1879
I don't care how boring, quiet or easy it is... I am not working ANY Graveyard shifts in a damn graveyard.
No thank you.
Professional Secrets From Customer Service Employees
"Reddit user Psychological-Name15 asked: 'Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?'"
Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.
Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.
Customer service can be a downright toxic job.
And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.
Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.
That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.
Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:
"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"
I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!
I loathe them!
Oh Dear
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphyI used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."
"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"
"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."
slappy_mcslapenstein
The Crappy People
"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."
"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."
11catsinahumansuit
"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"
Sharp-Demand-6614
Go to Holiday Inn
"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."
cryptnificent
"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."
"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."
ItsBobFromLumbridge
Heartless
"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."
Rizza1122
"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."
Less-Storage
Go to Home Depot
You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."
Eattherich187
Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.
There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.
Switcharoo
Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."
A Little Sunshine
"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."
Axel_Dunce
"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."
Ok-Ad-7247
LELU
"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."
"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."
MidniteMischief
Cookies!!
"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."
"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."
Frequent-Selection91
Look in the Back
"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."
"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."
A_Womans_Thoughts
From the Box
Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."
SailorVenus23
Sunny D and champagne?!?!
What in the name of Lucifer?
Who does that?!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
It is time to get real about a few things in life.
We take too much for granted.
We never have an appreciation for anything until it's gone.
Redditorwhere_go_john_nowwanted everyone to listen up and start being more vigilant in life. They asked:
"What do people simply not take seriously enough?"
We can be so cavalier about so many things. Time to get serious.
Essentials
Kenan Thompson Reaction GIF by NBCGiphy"Sleeping enough and the health of their relationships."
Small-Prune3066
Pay Attention
"Driving."
PupperNoodle
"There are a lot of good answers to this question, but this one sticks out for me. You are in a 4000+ pound rolling chunk of metal, aimed at other 4000+ pound rolling chunks of metal. You should probably take that seriously and stop f**king around with your damn cell phone."
AlpineWhiteF10
What you eat...
"Their nutrition."
alfredocabello
"I get why people don't care because it might take weeks until your body is adjusted to new diet and you don't feel miserable. I know it was really difficult for me at first to not buy like 3 donuts daily like I used to do. But, once you get past that transition it's like a whole new life and you can't go back to excessive sugar."
"You didn't really know how bad you felt until you are started eating healthy. I recently tried regular red bull and it made me feel like I had diabetes- couldn't take more than a few sips before feeling sick. Changing nutrition = give your body time to adjust and being kind, patient with your body."
That_Peach_
In the Mouth
"Dental hygiene. There was a period of 10 years where I didn't see a dentist. Luckily, the damage done to my teeth and gums was an easy fix. Now, I make sure to floss and get my teeth cleaned every 6 months."
227743
"I didn't see a dentist for 2 years due to the pandemic. Had to change dentists too since my old one closed his doors. When I went to the new one, the dentist told me that I had cavities. Plural. I had good dental hygiene for the most part, brushed and flossed at least once a day. Now I go every 6 months like it's religion."
geico_fire
Are we paying attention? I am...
Deep Waters
the beach water GIFGiphy"The Sea."
PM_ME_UR_MBES_DATA
"Here in Australia tourist really take it for granted like not just the wildlife but we have some of the strongest currents in the world STAY BETWEEN THE FLAGS!"
Jack1715
Of the Mind
"Mental health."
DallyDragon
"It's the people who haven't been diagnosed and treated that are most at risk of not being taken seriously. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to having mental health disorders that keeps people ill."
"That, and our health insurance issues. And there simply aren't enough mental health care professionals or facilities to service people who need treatment. Our attitudes about mental health need to change to make it a priority."
KnotKarma
The Fur Babies
"Pet care. Your pet should be thriving, not just surviving."
Future-Pudding
"My dad wanted nothing to do health wise for my dog because he didn't want to spend the money, when I took over taking care of her and was making money I took her to the vet (maybe an excessive amount of times) but she lived to 14 years old."
Not_a_Sammon
I'll be there for you...
"Friendships."
RadiantHC
"Been trying for literally years. I'm plenty friendly, but IMO it's absurdly difficult to coordinate a meetup with more than one other person. And most people I meet aren't interested in (and I'm not comfortable with) meeting up at my place for a movie or something unless I already know them pretty well. I imagine things are easier with the help of drugs like alcohol or weed, but I don't touch either."
WatcherOfStarryAbyss
Take Rest
Angry Office GIF by Juan BillyGiphy"Burnout."
catsandalcohol13
"Yes! We’re treated like we shouldn’t ever have feelings or get sick or have emergencies. We’re not robots."
womanroaring78
Time to get real. Life is too short. Make it healthy.
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Are we being lazy or is it self-care?
That is what you should ask yourself first, before you judge.
Life is an arduous journey and a constant energy suck.
It was inevitable we'd find shortcuts to get by.
It's all about survival.
RedditorBatman_In_Peacetimewanted to hear about the times we just didn't care enough to try harder. They asked:
"What is a lazy thing you began doing when you realised you can live with it?"
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
Pippi Longstocking Chaos GIF by ZDFGiphy"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
Tired Fight Club GIFGiphy"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
andrew huang pots GIF by SoundflyGiphy"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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"Lazy meals" around here usually just mean grazing some deli meats out of the drawer - let's keep it totally real.
Between my ADHD and my super busy schedule, cooking is one of those necessary evils that annoys me daily. "We have to do this AGAIN?!" pretty commonly gets sighed when someone asks me what's to eat.
So I've gotten good at both non-cooking, as above, and meals that taste amazing, might take a long time, but don't necessarily require a lot of effort or supervision (looking at you, picadillo, slow roasts, and baked pasta dishes.)
Reddit user centstwo asked:
"What's your go-to lazy meal?"
Not only do I feel better about the whole grazing thing, but I'm taking notes on some of these people's ideas. All I'm seeing here are time saving tips.
On Deck
Rainbow Pizza GIFGiphy"I keep a cheap frozen pizza on deck for the laziest of meals."
"I just get the 3 meat pizza and add whatever shredded cheese I have on hand before I pop it in."
- ADamnTroll2
"We call this the 'emergency pizza' in my house."
- MultiPass21
"I do this, or rather I intend to do this."
"Unfortunately I end up eating them because I want to eat them, and not when I'm feeling lazy."
- nonresponsive
"Get yourself a pizza stone, you will not regret it."
- farlos75
Store Spätzle
"Lentils with Spätzle (traditional german noodle made from eggs) - store-bought."
"I'm sadly not one of those who can afford making anything from scratch. But on the other hand I think spätzle are pretty much the easiest type of pasta to make from scratch."
- Tschnitzl-sama
Your Melty Majesty
"Grilled cheese sandwich"
- NorthernRoost
"Or a quesadilla, depending whether bread or tortilla are closer to hand."
- Porrick
"With Tomato Soup."
- rufev
"Add ham"
- Fubared259
"That's not a grilled cheese, that's a melt."
- agreeingstorm9
True Laziness
frozen anna sleeping GIFGiphy"Sleep. True laziness is being too lazy to even eat."
- Kind-Replacement5788
"I used to not know if I was more tired or hungry. So I would make a hot dog, eat it in bed and fall asleep."
- estherober
"Coffee will take the hunger edge off, too. Gonna go do that now since I’m too lazy to eat."
- mashtartz
"If you’re tired and hungry…. Staying awake to eat you’ll still be tired. Go to sleep and you won’t be hungry."
"Residency with a toddler pro tips- sleep always wins"
- Mxhashim
Cereal Snacking
"Honey Nut Cheerios."
"I eat the entire box in bed with a box fan running."
- CPOP1-slash-CPOP0
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch, in a red solo cup, covered with milk. No spoon necessary."
- Iamjimmym
"I like the regular Cheerios but I add my own honey if I’m having it with milk, and if no milk can eat it with my hands without honey and without getting sticky."
- gahiolo
Breakfast
"Scrambled eggs and cheese wrapped in a warm tortilla"
- Relative-Language-55
"This is my breakfast lmao"
- Marble____
"This is the correct answer."
- little_mushroom_
"Ha - made this for myself, husband, and and oldest child just today for lunch. Good stuff, yo."
- MagpieMandible
Nothing On It, Nothing In It
"Hawaiian Bread, nothing on it, nothing with it, just bread."
- -bonkbonk-
"As a kid I would sneak and eat them just plain. Hits the spot."
- OklahomaIsWhere86
"My 2 year old son watched me eat a whole bag one day."
"Now it's his favorite snack and he cries for it like you'd expect a toddler to cry for sweets."
- No-Smoke3180
Jazz It Up
bam yes GIFGiphy"There is a nearby supermarket that sells smoked shredded pork. When you get it home its cold and not very good, so what I do is fry it in a pan with diced onions + garlic. It is delicious and takes like 4 minutes to make."
"There are these delicious challah buns I used, but they keep catching on fire in the toaster."
- ooo-ooo-oooyea
It Just Keeps Getting Worse
"Hotdogs. Like sad hotdogs"
"Out the can into boiling water and the bun is put in the microwave for 10secs then just a little bit of sauce."
"Yes, I said can. Ye Olde Oak brand."
"I'm a Brit to make this whole hot dog situation worse."
- RedRoodle27
"Can!?!?"
- Alright_Hamilton
"Chips?"
"Pepperoni chips."
"Line a plate with paper towels. Cover the plate in pepperonis, while they’re only partly overlapping."
"Put in microwave for 2-2 1/2 mins."
- jscncfl
Now that you've heard from the chefs of Reddit, it's your turn. What's your go-to meal for when serious cooking is too much to ask?
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