People Break Down Which Things Were Designed For One Sex But Are Predominantly Used By The Other
August 13 | 2020
Photo by Gábor Szűts on Unsplash
Gender marketing has gradually become yesterday's news and was often criticized for its sexism due to an increased awareness of consumers refusing to be categorized.
While pink and blue products are the colors often associated with girls and boys respectively, a variety of manufacturers have begun to shun this outdated perception by embracing neutrality.
We still have a ways to go.
But did you realize that certain products that are specifically designed for use by one gender didn't always start that way?
For example, high heels were originally designed for men.
We have become socialized to only expect seeing female models – and the finest drag queens – high-stepping in their stilettos. However, its origins can be traced back to 15th century Persia when soldiers wore them to secure their footing in stirrups.
That and other interesting bit of trivia came to surface when Redditor hodgepodge282 asked:
"What's something that was designed for the use of one sex but is now predominantly used by the other?"
Old Spice
"Old Spice was launched by Shulton Inc. in 1937. William Lightfoot Schultz was inspired by his mother's potpourri and as a result, the first Old Spice product in 1937 was a woman's scent called Early American Old Spice. The product was received well, and therefore followed with Old Spice for men in 1938."
"I LOVE OLD SPICE (and I am female). My husband and i share deodorants. I'm hoping one day Old Spice will make a line for women (Sea Hag, Forest Witch, something tough and not floofy like Lavender Flower Blossom or something)"
"I didn't know Old Spice used to be for women. RECLAIM OLD SPICE."
Tissue
"I remember reading somewhere that Kleenex was made for ladies to remove their makeup, but their husbands were blowing their noses in them. And now we all blow our noses in them."
Marlboro
"Filtered cigarettes in general, but Marlboro made the biggest leap in terms of gendered marketing. Once that whole conspiracy theory came out that like cigarettes are idk bad for you or something and more people switched to filtered cigarettes (it's filtered, that means it's good for you!) was around the time the the salt of the earth classic American Marlboro Man came into existence, trying to distance the brand from its previously woman focused advertisements."
Stirrups
"Those leg stirrups they use at the gynocologist were invented for removing kidney bladder stones in men. They used to cut from below the testicles and cut right through the prostate. It had a very low survival rate and was not approved by the medical profession."
"The original hippocratic oath had a section on 'not cutting for stone' meaning they swore not to surgically remove the stones because of it. They later removed that section of the oath, otherwise a bunch of urologists would be out of a job."
Heels
"Heels if i remember correctly."
"That's correct; high heels were originally made for butchers to wear (who were mostly men) so that they could keep their feet clean of any blood from slaughtering animals."
"The Ford Mustang. It was supposed to be a car with a big trunk to you could fit all the groceries in it. There was even an ad or article stating that you can own a mustang that matches the color of your lipstick. Makes sense why a lot of old mustangs are red."
"Victoria's Secret was originally supposed to be a place for men to buy lingerie for their wives and not feel embarrassed, but now it's almost exclusively shopped at by women."
"Croptops. A football thing, initially."
"Like young Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elms?"
"Skirts/dresses used to be for both men and women since they're much easier to make than pants. It didn't really switch from being for one gender to the other, one gender just stopped using them."
– ben_g0
Everytime I start a new job I make a solemn pact with myself that I will not get mixed up in an unnecessary drama. I will promise to avoid any all scandals. And I refuse to bear witness to or participate in any and all salacious nonsenses. Cut to me and two to three weeks later... the main character or important supporting player in a storyline too hot even for Melrose Place.
Redditor u/lanyeweisst wanted people to dish on some salacious nonsenses they came across by asking.... What's your workplace scandal?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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"I need an Amen."
<p>I've seen it all... thieveing, lying, fornicating in every possible corner of space. And sometimes I was all of the above. I'm just an expert at not getting caught. For some reason though, so many other people feel the need to include me in the drama as a confidant or a witness.<em> "I need an Amen."</em> Many of the people here know of which I speak. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Call HR
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNTM1Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MTcxNDMzMH0.gU8NmmbsoQj5GsKRkrA4qfC_ZyZpxpbjhtSlJqHpuwQ/img.gif?width=980" id="13aac" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c7fdf627b934ed40467357bb5512ee10" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />braxton family values traci GIF by WE tvGiphy<p>Walking past my colleagues door, middle of the afternoon and looked in his office door window. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Saw him absolutely shagging with an intern. At the same time another colleague also stopped, saw the same thing. He called our boss, who came and a small group watched them have to leave the office and go down to HR.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopsuvs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ok-Sheepherder-3059</a></p>
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"Warpath"
<p>A divorced couple worked at my company in separate departments. The ex-husband went to the ex-wife's house to pick up their kids one night and got into an argument with the ex-wife's boyfriend, who was a cop. The cop shot him. The ex-husband died. The ex-wife was not exactly contrite about it.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>For weeks or even months after that, the ex-husband's coworkers were on a warpath against the ex-wife and her supportive coworkers. This is in HQ for a big company and there were regular outbursts if those people saw each other in the lobby, elevators, cafeteria, etc. It was wild. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopqzyo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">elevenghosts</a></p>
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"That" Room
<p>I used to work for a large insurance company in Colorado Springs, CO - When I worked there they had nap rooms which were used for other nefarious means. My favorite workplace scandal is when one coworker stopped cheating on his wife with another coworker because he found a new workplace hookup. Work hookup #1 anonymously called the man's wife to rat him out AND security to bust in on him and his new hookup. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopvs7c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">snugglebunny822</a></p>Jabs
<p>Years ago I worked at a company that hired a sales guy who was pretty hard-working and definitely put out a, 'I am trying to come back from a dark time in my life' kind of vibe. We all really liked him as a first impression, but we didn't get a chance to know him very well. One day he went out to his car at lunch, drank himself to a point of insensibility, then came back into the office like nothing was wrong. When his boss called him on it, he took a swing at him and missed by a mile, spinning himself around and almost falling over.<span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>He was immediately fired —I don't even think there was paperwork involved. He was only a few weeks into the job— and escorted out of the building. By unspoken rule, no one talked about the incident. Enough time has passed now, I don't even remember the guy's name or really any more about it than I've said. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopq2bl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">faceintheblue</a></p>
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"Bad Combos"
<p>Now why is it people feel the need to get X-Rated at the office. There seems to be an over abundance of that. That's the usual scandals though, isn't it? Sex and money. That combination will often lead you down the wrong path. Of course just when you think you've heard it all...</p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
The Pooper
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNzUzMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MzE1OTgwOH0.NCjBrEYfd1fnNgqa_Tz0XcWI6y0ozCXLRKfImKvGDmw/img.gif?width=980" id="a9900" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="912468aa3c656253ea2df30b233166a1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="498" />poop GIFGiphy<p>A lady pooped in the men's urinal and tried to frame a guy who turned down her advances at the Christmas party. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>She informed a manager that she saw the guy go in to the bathroom around the time the poop was laid. However CCTV showed otherwise. She wasn't fired or faced any serious repercussions.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopzu0l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CircusSeal</a></p>
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Bonnie & Clyde
<p>From my first workplace as a college intern: The Director of Engineering was working on a special project and required the PM's admin to assist, every day in his office from noon to 1pm. One Thursday they forgot to close the door completely and as it turned out their special project was shagging each other stupid. They were sent home and told not to come back until the following Monday, by which time management would know how to address the incident.</p><p>Monday rolls around and they don't show up. After calling both of their spouses, it turns out that each came home Thursday, made up an excuse to their families, packed a bag and left. Within a few weeks it turns out that their special project also included embezzling $870,000 in company funds and absconding to the Caribbean. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/goqnz9y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Flahdagal</a></p>
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Staffing Concerns
<p>When I was in high school, I got a job in a local chain drug store. After I was there about a month, I showed up for work and was greeted by corporate security. Apparently, the entire management staff, as well as the bulk of the store's employees, were fired and arrested as part of a mass theft ring. Apparently they were issuing fake merchandise refunds to their credit cards, as well as voiding cash transactions and pocketing the cash. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>They managed to re-staff the store temporarily with employees from other locations, but I went from being the new kid to the senior associate pretty quickly lol. I ended up being there for 4-5 years, and it was great because most of the new part time employees were kids my age. We had a lot of fun. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/goqc2in?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jealous-Network-8852</a></p>
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Tragedy...
<p>A few years back I was working for a national non-profit, one of the ones that's trying to cure a disease.</p><p>We all got called into a mandatory meeting first thing one morning, and that meant folks calling in from all over the country, probably 2,000 of us total. We were told that our CEO's wife had been murdered and set on fire. It was tragic.</p><p>Couple hours later, they called a second meeting to tell us it was one of our coworkers that did it. That was a mind screw of a meeting.<span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Turns out the dude was stealing from the charity in a big way, got caught, and the CEO gave him a chance to turn himself in. Instead, he drove to the CEO's house, killed his wife, set her on fire and sped away, crashing into a tree and killing himself.</p><p>It was never quite the same at work, CEO left and never set foot in the office or his house again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/goqq56p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">caddykitten</a></p>
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A Royal Schemer
<p>Woman in the finance department fell for a Nigerian prince scheme disguised as our CEO and corporate lawyers. Transferred 2 million Euros to the scammers. Police found nothing. Holding that has the most shares of our company was not amused and almost sacked our CEO who is a great guy in general. Investments in new tech was denied and everyone lost their bonus for that year.</p><p>Responsible person for the transfer was not fired but lost procurement responsibility. Many in our company said that she was into the scheme. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/goqf0pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rudolph_ransom</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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And these are the Days of Our Lives...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNzU1MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NDgyMTQ2OX0.jqMnAtxtOtD0n2SdOAuEVsvcrSALhBKYY-QzoNXn6zI/img.gif?width=980" id="0b128" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="16fea14d77685df9d82ec7cd817bf280" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="300" data-height="167" />Days Of Our Lives GIFGiphy<p>I used to work at a place where two employees who were both married had an affair then divorced their spouses and married each other. Two years later the guy has an affair with a client then he divorces and marries client. Everyone is somehow shocked. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/gopwh9a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">awooawooawoo</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_16" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Of course thanks to Covid work scandals seem down a bit. A ZOOM scandal just doesn't seem as appetizing. Heaven knows the amount of homebound craziness we'll all have to share about in 2022! Should be interesting. </p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ls8lcn/whats_your_workplace_scandal/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
<p>u/Jealous-Garage-913 asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltpuiv/what_is_the_most_fucked_up_thing_you_did_that/" target="_blank">What is the most f**ked up thing you did that still haunts you to this day?</a></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p><p><br></p>
<p>We can learn from our own past experiences if we accept the embarrassment that comes with them.</p>
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He's Not Dead
<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Complete And Total Taking Over
<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Scene Of The Crime
<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It
<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>Try as we might to forget, these moments crop up in our memories and smack us like a ton of bricks.</strong></p>
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Not Hurting
<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out
<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Escape
<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>By now it's all in the past, but we need to face these moments ourselves.</strong></p>
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If You Give A Pup A Shower
<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Caught In The Act
<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Shunned
<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
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| Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay |
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
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"I'm sure the mentality..."
<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."
<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I was already pretty cynical..."
<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I used to daydream..."
<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...
<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"Acting like a clown..."
<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.
<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"To be fair..."
<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"She got tired..."
<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
"Looking back now..."
<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"The world is wider..."
<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I already knew I was quitting..."
<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>High school isn't easy.
<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p class="">Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.<br></p>
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When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
<p>But it's much different when you are the one in the relationship. Time already invested, love once shared, and logistical factors all contribute to a kind of cloud that sways our judgment of the situation. </p>
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<p>And yet, if and when the relationship does end, we look back and feel the same clarity that all of our friends once advised from. We can see that we stayed far longer than we should have.</p><p>Ideally, witnessing the dynamics helps us practice more clarity in the future. But to be honest, we always hope no more of our relationships will wither again.</p><p>Some Redditors offered their own experiences.</p><p>mrwednesday33 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"People who have stayed with someone they no longer love, what's your story?"</a></p>
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<p>A handful of Redditors had nothing to regret. A dangerous or concerning situation forced their hand. The safety of themselves and others was the driving force behind the decision to stay. </p><p>Although it was upsetting to stick around, it would be difficult to imagine handling the situation any other way. </p>
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Enough Was Enough
<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love
<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Bare Bones Story
<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Tipping Over the Edge
<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p><p>For others, the pull to stay in the relationship felt just as intense, but not nearly as physical. </p><p>In these cases, a social dynamic or deep emotional complication was at the heart of the choice to remain in a relationship that was doomed to fail. </p>
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Optics
<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Always a Reason to Stay
<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
For the In-Laws
<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>And some people stayed because it was the simplest thing to do. They swallowed a lack of passionate love in exchange for the daily comforts of a well-kept home with a familiar person. </p><p>That is, until playing house became unsustainable. </p>
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A Sudden Shift
<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>Slow Fade
<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Wise, But a Little Sad
<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Here's hoping that the relationships of all reading this are full of passionate intensity and presence of mind. But we know that's not true. </p><p>Somewhere, love is dying in a relationship. In which case, hopefully, both partners carry the strength to move on as soon as the time is right. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. <br></p>
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