The culmination of our experiences is what makes us who we are, it's how we grow and at the end of the day, it's those experiences, the memories we make, that are priceless. What do you think everyone should do to grow? For me, it was taking time to travel alone.
At first, I was nervous but something beautiful happened. I was and to fully explore the areas I went to with unparalleled freedom, to truly take in how everything saw felt, the good and the bad. It built confidence and gave me a better sense of self. It doesn't have to be expensive, even a camping trip in your own state if you can. But that time to travel and reflect by yourself--you won't regret it.
Redditor Lovingnature412 wanted to know what the most important experiences were to others. They asked:
“What is something you think every human should experience and why?"
Mental self-care...
“Therapy! Even if you don't think you need it, if you have access to it you 100% should take advantage and go. It's just a good way to get to know yourself and what you want. I wish it was free for everyone.” thisismetryinggg
“worth their weight in gold...”
“Having a non-romantic friend that you can absolutely rely on and be yourself with. One that has your back, can call you out and always only wants the best for you. True friends like that are actually hard to come by and are worth their weight in gold.” moll5494
Retail workers would agree.
“Performing a customer service job for other humans for over 6 months, this will teach some people how to be a customer vs a piece of sh*t (some people)." rsplatpc
black friday thanksgiving GIF by NBCGiphyLove one another <3
“Everyone should feel love. Genuine, undying, unconditional love from the same person you love the same way. Its the most amazing thing in the world. I truly feel like a lot of the world's problems stem from people not being loved.” Pussydestroyer885
Birth control...
“A week taking care of a baby and toddler. Just so people can see how it really is. I work with a lot of people who were shocked at how much work it is. Which is fine. But parental regret is a real thing. I think people would be more cautious about birth control if they knew or had experience.” cleaning-meaning
“It was f**king h*ll...”
“A minimum wage job. I was a spoiled a** kid growing up. My parents are well-off. I was raised to be respectful/ humble (never sh*t on other kids for being poor or anything) but I never really understood the concept of 'too expensive' or 'this cost my parents x hours of time.'"
“Granted I never asked for designer clothing or anything nicer than a laptop, and my dad made enough money that the answer was usually 'an hour or less' but my parents version of making me 'earn it' was doing chores and earning that amount of money in the real world would definitely be harder."
“Summer after my sophomore yr of high school, my parents give me one week notice that they're cutting me off completely for the summer. Wish they gave me more heads up, but whatever. I managed to find a job as a dishwasher in a retirement home."
"Paid just under $7/hr after taxes. It was hell. The dishwashing machine was too loud to talk to anyone. Too many dishes to do to daydream or think about stuff, basically 0 mental stimulation."
"Time moved at a snail's pace. Hands hurt at the end of every shift from hot dishes and lots of chemicals. And I'd look around at the line cooks and realize 'holy sh*t this isn't enough for my pot, gas, and cell phone bill, and they're trying to provide for a f**king family on like less than twice as much money.' Definitely a huge wake up call in terms of how blessed I am and how grateful I should be that my parents saved for my college."
"Also, every job after seemed amazing. $10/hr after taxes to bus tables? F**king cakewalk, I get to talk to people, do more than one thing, and make more money! Delivering sandwiches for Jimmy John's for $12/hr? Dream job. My white collar job I have now? Heaven compared to that even though it's stressful." MrLionOtterBearClown
Pain...
“Mine's another sad answer - significant physical pain. Some people don't seem to understand how pain can reshape your entire world, your view of yourself, and how you think/react. I lived with chronic pain for years (femoral head ground away most of what was left of my hip socket) and I know I was a very different person then.” mctrustry
DnD...
“A good game of DnD. Where everyone is participating, everyone is so into their roles. The DM is strict but not to harsh. It's so magical.” Vladi_Sanovavich
Dungeons And Dragons Flirting GIFGiphyChange can be good.
“Realizing that you were wrong about some deeply held belief.” coookies
It is stunning.
“See the Northern Lights in action with your own eyes. You will be standing there staring, mouth agape.” Platonus44
If anything from this list the experiences that help foster empathy, understanding, and connectedness may just be the most important.
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Redditor onlyusemefeets wanted to hear about the worst of everyone's family, so they asked:
"When did you find out that someone in your family is evil?"
The Reddit community rose to the occasion to shed some light on their family skeletons.
Money Issues
Wild West Fighting GIF by Buyout FootageGiphy"When they ripped apart 3 generations of my family almost immediately after my dad died for a measly $37,000. He's a millionaire. That kinda money is pocket change to him."
Good Lord
"When my 11 year old cousin got cancer."
"Her mom and boyfriend were shooting up her pain medicine. My cousin was in so much pain, she told her Doctors. Thats when the doctors stopped giving her mom a prescription and the nurses dispensed her pain meds at the hospital. Unfortunately they could not keep track of medication while at home so they reported it."
"CPS removed her. She died shortly after in foster care. Parents were never charged."
dead-parrots
Death
"When my dad died of covid my Aunt tried to say she was entitled to some stuff of his since it belonged in the family. She even called a lawyer on us and it was big deal and my mom didn't need to deal with that trying to raise 3 kids on her own so f**k her. She still bothers us about stuff and all it is like plates and some pictures and some other things."
"Sunken Cost Fallacy"
"My brother's addiction has led to him spinning some ridiculous stories. I'm not sure if he is very convincing or if my father chooses to believe him because of some 'sunken cost fallacy,' or he genuinely refuses to give up. But my brother has told lies and stories about me and my siblings to the point that he's the only child who talks to my father anymore. He convinced my father that I forced him to do drugs."
"But I knew my brother was evil when scared away my sister with physical violence. Last month, he went missing for a weeks only to turn up after flipping his car high on pills. My father doesn't know it yet, but my mother is planning on leaving him because my father chooses my brother over her. No one can convince my father that he's enabling. No one can convince my brother to stop. Hard drugs really destroy entire families."
sleepypanda59
A New Family
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"When he purposely excluded his 4 year old son (from a previous relationship) from his wedding to his new spouse, deleted all photos of his son from his social media, and legally signed away all parental rights. He has since had 2 more kids with said new spouse."
FeminaCanadiana
How can parents act that way?
Failure...
"I don't know about evil, but my dad got remarried and has a kid and stepson with his new spouse. All of that would be fine if he didn't pretend that none of us (offspring from first marriage) exist so he can pretend this family is the first family and we never happened."
"Once this realization hit me, I stopped contacting him, and once I stopped putting in the effort, everything else dissipated. We haven't spoken at all. He does not care in the least. I honestly believe that he wishes we never even existed. He is a failure as a father and as a man."
Raindrops_On-Roses
Oh Brother
"When my husband's brother (1 of 5 siblings) said he couldn't make it to our house to plan their mother's funeral because he had to work. Meanwhile we found out he wasn't working because we caught him on ring doorbell entering the moms house to rifle through it while the rest of us were planning the funeral at my house."
Legitimate_Energy257
The End
"When my ex said 'you've been a godsend, I want a divorce.' I had taken time off from work to take care of her parents. She told me this right before her dad died, and she inherited. She found a boyfriend while I was with her parents. She got the house by declaring I had abandoned it. I was with her parents."
rollercoaster_5
Evil
Season 5 Nickelodeon GIFGiphy"When my dad tried to throw my 6 month old sister when he was drunk. That man is a monster in disguise"
iinattanii
So many people really need to be screened for their abilities to raise kids.
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
Friends With Benefits Herkenbaar GIF by GoPlayGiphy"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
Corona Snap GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
married single ladies GIFGiphy"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
