It never fails to boggle me what nonsense people believe. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but people seem to always have a conspiracy theory in response to something have never had to throw a surprise party or some large event. The amount of coordination involved is enough to teach you that it's immensely difficult––practically impossible––for people to keep secrets.
After Redditor halospecial asked the online community, "Whats the craziest conspiracy theory that someone's told you?" people shared the theories they've heard that have made their brains hurt.
"That he knew a guy..."
That he knew a guy who knew the guy who invented a carburetor that could make a car get 200 mpg and "they" killed him for it.
"I didn't interrupt him..."
I'm a dentist. So I hear the fluoride complaints and theories all the time. You don't want fluoride? Fine with me. I'll be here to fix all your fillings which you will absolutely need.
Anyway, I had one patient go on a full on rant about the fluoridation of drinking water being a Nazi era experiment to decrease the IQ of the population and make people more compliant. The U.S. caught on and implemented it, but had to deny their intentions due to potential Communist accusations. He states that our literacy rate plummeted after fluoridation, people became more fertile (to make more stupid people to control), and then finally causing death due to a lifetime of poisoning. He stated you could always tell because dead people's bones would glow in the dark from the fluoride and he knew this to be true because when he was younger his father was a grave robber and saw the glowing bones. And if we had more grave robbers these day, then people would know more about the fluoride. But grave robbing is hard to do and apparently some caskets actually have locks....
I didn't interrupt him because, honestly, I wanted to see how he would end it. Grave robbing was not what I anticipated.
"It involved the Mormon Church..."
It involved the Mormon Church using the Marriott hotel chain to fuse the Liberty Bell into the Unity Bell for the new world order...I didn't quite get what any part of it accomplished.
"She was so convinced..."
My mother had what I can only describe as a complete breakdown - not sure how, but it eventually ended up with a theory that a ruling elite was going to slaughter previously identified targets, blow up the tunnels between the Alps, caused a storm that would wipe out New York, the list goes on.
She was so convinced, that she called me to tell me my Granddad was deathly ill in an effort to get me to come home. I guess she believed that if she had the family around her she could keep us safe.
Thankfully she's better now, but I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to fully move past. I understand that ultimately she lied out of love in an effort to protect me from a perceived danger, but deep down I'm still pissed.
"Crazy enough though..."
My sister is way into the QAnon s***, plus she's a conspiracy nut of all shapes and sizes (Moon landing was a hoax, vaccines cause autism, etc. etc.).
I think the craziest that I can think of is that she believes NASA isn't sending rovers to Mars for scientific research; they're building a pedo ring.
She is full of conspiracy theories. Crazy enough though, despite all this she's still not stupid enough to think the Earth is flat, and she is f****** dumb!
"Earlier in the pandemic..."
Earlier in the pandemic I saw someone I know share one of those memes on Facebook like "I will not let the government V-chip me" regarding a possible vaccine. Like bro, you have a cellphone, social media account, Social Security number, and a bank card, if they wanted to track you they'd be doing it already.
"And for a regular person to become famous..."
Celebrities are lizard people. All to hide the fact we are living on a flat earth.
"Wish I could find it all again..."
Any and all famous women (be they actors or politicians or whatever else) are really just men that are either transgender or crossdressing 24/7.
Stumbled across this in a crazy YouTube video where the guy spent like 30 minutes going over how Brie Larson (I think the Captain Marvel casting had just been announced) was a man and how f**ked up it was they were going all out about how it was a female super hero movie and blah blah blah. The video had a ton of views and apparently it's a popular conspiracy for some reason.
Wish I could find it all again because it was insane but I can't find a damn thing anymore.
"This group gets on radio programs..."
Starting with Reagan, there is a group in San Francisco that claims President [insert name] was behind John Lennon's murder. First it was Reagan, then Bush, then retroactively Nixon, I wouldn't be surprised if they blame Trump for it.
This group gets on radio programs in the Bay Area posing as a real caller then they lead in to introducing their website's name which has all of the "facts" that prove their case.
"This was some guy my friend and I encountered..."
That the Freemasons were some massive Satanic conspiracy running the world, which is pretty common for conspiracy theories but interesting to encounter in real life. This was some guy my friend and I encountered in a park. He added on that 6ix9ine was fighting against the Freemasons because on one of his album covers he was pissing a rainbow onto a checkerboard floor (apparently a Freemason symbol).
"The show Sesame Street..."
The show Sesame Street is an attempt to brainwash American kids into communist Soviet sleeper agents.
"The Chinese put mind-altering chemicals..."
The Chinese put mind-altering chemicals in the plastic bands of ball caps so that when Americans wear them backwards, the chemicals cause them to do crazy things. I thought they were just being themselves.
My brother-in-law is convinced that Obama and Osama are the same person, and that the 'supposed body of Bin Laden' was dumped in the ocean to prevent anyone from running DNA tests on it to prove it was a charade.
"Wolves howl at full moons..."
Wolves howl at full moons because aliens tap the power to relay subliminal messages.
"Ken Jennings was a plant..."
Ken Jennings was a plant to reinvigorate interest in Jeopardy on the heels of a lot of subpar TV game shows.
Hillary Clinton has child labor camps ON MARS. Yes, my mother's friend really believes this.
"Cats are actually aliens..."
Cats are actually aliens sent to Earth to observe our every day-to-day function, and they think that intercourse/self-gratification is a means of communications jamming, so they shoot mind-altering waves at us to feel awkward about doing it in front of a cat.
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