People Admit What They'd Do To Piss People Off If They Could

Fewer things in life are more fun than (harmlessly) messing with people. If you could annoy people for a living, how would you do it? Reddit users with panache for pushing people's buttons share their ideas.

wandy24 asked, You're a burglar, but instead of stealing things you do things to mildly inconvenience your victims. What do you do?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

People can go bald from this.

Change their computer mouse settings to reverse left and right click.

Lather, rinse, delicious.

I used to LOVE doing this kinda sh_t when I was drunk at parties in high school. I never stole anything but I would do stuff to make them wonder wtf happened.

My classic move was taking the mustard out of their fridge and putting it next to the shampoo in the shower.

Toiler paper goes OVER the spool. It's the law.

Put the toilet paper the wrong way.

Wait for it...

I would just hide motivational quotes around the house, so they grab their hairbrush and there's a note that says "You're looking great today!" or they pour a glass of milk and there's a note in it saying "Glad to see you're drinking healthy!" Or when they take a shower and the mirror gets steamy they get out and there's a note in the steam that says "I'm going to murder your family"

You know, cute stuff to get their day moving.

Savage.

Rip all of the labels off the cans in the pantry.

Great for your last day at work...

Install a script on all the computers that generates a random number between 1 and 255 on startup and then shuts down the computer after that number of minutes.

It's amazing how long it takes people to figure this out.

Take the batteries out of the TV remote.

This is evil.

I hide single socks so they can never find a pair.

I do this to my grandmother, it never fails.

Here's a nice story:

To intimidate mildly troublesome individuals, the Russian Secret Service has a habit of entering people's houses while they are away and moving a harmless but obvious object like a vase, several days in a row.

The first time this happens, the occupant generally doesn't notice or blame their own forgetfulness when they do. The second time they will start to feel apprehensive and will memorize the exact location of the object before they leave the house again. The third time they will freak out and realize that they need to stop being such a mildly troublesome individual.

This is quite the egg-xit.

Place eggs on the floor so that the entire floor is densely covered in eggs, packed in tight.

Give this person a TV show.

  1. Set alarm clock 5 minutes early. Nothing quite as bad as waking up early, but no early enough to sleep some more.
  2. Just a tiny bit of sand exactly where you place your feet when sitting on the side of your bed.
  3. Set the shower a lot hotter. Who doesn't just turn it on, then undress and then get in the shower assuming it's perfect because you barely ever change how warm it is.
  4. Leave just a tiny bit in the Shampoo bottle, just too little to actually create foam. Giving you the feeling it's not as clean as you'd like.
  5. Switch all the dark blue en black socks with each other so that all pairs are 1 dark blue and 1 black.
  6. Wrinkle the pants... just a little though. Just so that he/she won't have the feeling of looking "good", but not that much that they will iron it or something like that.
  7. Do to the toothpaste the exact same thing as done to the shampoo bottle.
  8. Hide the favorite coffee mug behind all the glasses. Behind stacked glasses just so that he does have to actually move them, but carefully.
  9. Empty the cornflakes too just leaving too little to be satisfied. You know, when there is just too much milk but too little cornflakes.

Guess I'll stop here.

"I knew I was feeling off today."

Shift everything about 2 inches to the left of its current position. It would be just subtle enough for them not to notice visually, but something would feel off, and they'd end up walking into something because they're so used to it being in the previous position.

MONSTER.

I set their search engine to Bing.

The longer you picture it, the funnier it gets.

Replace their hand soap and sanitizer with KY jelly.

Time to move.

Hide a fish somewhere.

A classic.

Salt in the sugar bowl, sugar in the salt shaker.

The most British backfire ever.

This reminds me of a time I swapped the tea bags in my sister's house so that there was a herbal tea in the main jar and regular English tea up in the cupboard. They decided not to change it around because they just got used to it. Then when I went round sometime in the future I thought they would have changed it back and I made myself a vile cup of herbal tea.

Absolute cruelty.

Place tiny lego pieces in random places on the floor

Genius tbh...

I love taking a part hotel paintings and signing them. I refrain from doing it when I visit friend's houses.

Just go away.

Take one shoelace off of every pair of shoe.

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