People Admit How They'd Destroy The World If They Got The Chance To
Whether you're religious or not, or watched the CW's "Supernatural", you've likely heard of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Described in the last book of the New Testament of the Christian Bible, the Book of Revelation, they are the result of the breaking of four of the seven seals to bring about the end of the world. But what if they couldn't get the job done alone?
Reddit user OldWiseBlackMan asked "You are now -the lesser known- Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse. How do you intend to bring the end of the world?"
Here are the creative, or is it destructive, responses.
I am the Horseman of webpages that seem to never load, and right when you click out of it, you see a flash of the loaded page, but by then it's too late. You've already exited. It'll drive people into madness.
I will become The Horseman of Empathy. As the other four horseman physically hurt man kind, I would force the people that survive to feel everything their victims felt. People justify their evil act with things like I had to or it was the only way. This way deep down they will beg for the end, no exceptions.
I am Ennui.
Because I really can't be bothered.
I'm procrastination and I will ride... tomorrow! Maybe...
I am the Horseman of Network Unavailable! All your Internet are belong to me...
Same Old, Same Old
I shall be the Horseman of Stagnation
I'd reap the desires and motivations of the masses, making them lazy and lose their goals, while leaders choose the always safe and easy option and slowly everything degrades until, by the time anyone has noticed, the foundations of society crumble under their own self defeating habits.
Scared to Death
I am the Horseman of Fear.
Man will fear his fellow man and humanity will fall apart when no one can trust anyone. Humanity will destroy itself out of needless fear, and my four brothers will follow and plunder.
Horseman of Dial-up internet speeds.
Living on a Dirt Road Pays Off
Literally just turning concrete into fire ants.
Pins & Needles
Make everyone on Earth's feet fall asleep at the same time.
John Wayne TP
Single-ply toilet paper in all first-world states.
Knowledge is Power
My colleagues opine that starvation, disease, conflict, vice or mortality will bring an end to your wretched race. No.
I shall be your end, mortals. Only I can cause all these things without reason or rhyme.
I am Willful Ignorance, though you know me by many names. Superstition. Religion. Worship. Animism. I will cause you to destroy each other, over your silly fairy tales and you will become only a laughable example of how not to conduct yourselves as a species for every star faring race that happens by the smoking husk of your gravestone planet.
See you soon...
Opiate of the Masses
I would be the addiction horse, a whole bunch of people would chase me to their deaths without ever catching me.
Give a Toot
Just crop-dusting everywhere I go.
Pestilence, War, Famine, Death... and Flatulence.
King of Beers
As the angel broke the fifth seal, he said "Come". I looked and behold, a rider on a Clydesdale and he who sat upon it carried a rusty chalice. He is tasked to destroy the pleasure of the world, replacing all the worlds brews with his products. He bears the name of Budweiser. Man, woman, and child alike wept with the anguish of his coming.
No Right on Red
I will force cars to only be able to turn left.
NASCAR: sport of the Apocalypse.
I'm the horseman of mild inconveniences.
Trying to hit that green light? sorry bub, not today.
Tied your shoelaces extra tight today? Yep, still comes untied.
In a hurry to get home from work driving on the freeway? You better get ready for some road rage because grandma is driving at 40mph in the fast lane right next to a semi. You ain't passing anyone.
The world will be mildly inconvenienced into anarchy.
I'm going to make everything sticky.
You see, my brothers have ridden for as long as humanity is.
Sometimes Pestilence would have a good idea, and the other three would follow. Sometimes War would plant his seeds among powerful men, and the other three would follow. Sometimes, Famine would steal the very sustenance of men, and the other three would follow.
Sometimes, even, Death would come without rhyme or reason, and the other three would follow.
However, time after time, humanity has survived my four older brothers. After all the sickness, carnage, hunger and death men and women would come together from the ashes of pain and misery and start again from scratch.
This time it won't happen, no, for I have been born. Once again, all at once, my brothers will take from humanity, and I will make sure that humanity lets them take it all.
I'm Apathy, and I won't be the one to end humanity. They will do it by themselves.
You KNOW Who I Am
Become unfathomably rich from a loan my dad gave me. Have a series of reality shows. Run for president. Make fun of the entire world. Make a mockery of the political agenda. Fire anyone competent. Then push that button.