Historians Share The Biggest FU Moments In History
History seems like a pretty boring subject to many people, but that's really not the case.
The many stories of one-upmanship, backstabbing and sweet revenge are just part of what makes history so interesting.
Reddit user Eslayer12 asked:
"Historians of reddit, what is the biggest 'f*ck you' moment in history?"
Olga of Kiev
Olga of Kiev. When her husband died, the country that killed him assumed they'd just take over and force her into marriage.
She straight up killed the dignitaries that were sent to tell her she had to marry - multiple times, in the most intense way possible.
She then travelled to where her husband had been killed and basically burnt the place to the ground - again, in the most hardcore, amazing way.
They made her a freaking saint. Worth the read on Wikipedia!
Stop sending people to kill me!
“Stop sending people to kill me! We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle... If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send a very fast working one to Moscow and I certainly won't have to send another.”
Tito to Joseph Stalin
In the late 1980s
In the late 1980s Nintendo and Sony developed a CD add-on for the Super Nintendo. Nintendo then pulled out of the partnership and opted to work with Phillips instead and released the CD-i.This move was highly frowned upon because Nintendo had decided to ditch a fellow Japanese company for a foreign one.
So Sony picked up the pieces of the project and tried to partner with Sega. The board of directors turned the idea down saying "that's a stupid idea, Sony doesn't know how to make hardware. They don't know how to make software either. Why would we want to do this?"
At the end Sony released a game system by the name of Playstation in 1994 to compete with the Nintendo 64 and outsold their former partners nearly 3:1 plus it marked the first time that Nintendo wasn't top dog since they released the NES.
This was played in besieged Leningrad. And it was broadcasted on radio, so nazi soldiers could hear it.
Imagine hearing "F**K YOU" from a city that you thought was already dead.
The "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks"
The "Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" is the best response to a demand for surrender, ever.
In response to requests by the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire to desist attacks and submit:
"Zaporozhian Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan!
O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil sh*ts, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f**k thy mother.
Thou Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-f**ker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our d*ck. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!
So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
Koshovyi otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host."
There's a painting of this moment with all the Cossacks laughing as they compose the letter.
The beginning of the Battle of Stamford Bridge
My personal favorite: the beginning of the Battle of Stamford Bridge, in England, 1066. England's been invaded by a Norwegian army led by Harald Hardrada, king of Norway, and Tostig Godwinson, exiled English earl and estranged brother to the English king. They've already fought one battle, they've captured York. Things are looking good for them.
They're chilling, enjoying their success, waiting at Stamford Bridge for the hostages they demanded. It's a hot day. They're not expecting any trouble. But wait- an English army shows up. That's practically impossible. The battle of Fulford Gate had taken place only five days ago, and the Norwegians had completely routed the forces of the northern earls. The rest of the English army was known to be in the south, awaiting a Norman invasion.
Turns out the English had ridden all the way up North in FOUR DAYS.
The Norwegians were, understandably, a bit unhappy. They form into a circle. They don't have their armor with them- it's at the ships. It's too hot to be hanging around in mail. They've got helmets and shields and weaponry, and that's it.
The English send a rider to negotiate. He tells Tostig that his brother the King is willing to offer him his earldom back and part of the rule of England if he gives up now. Tostig asks what his buddy Harald Hardrada gets for his trouble.
"Six feet of English ground, or as much more as he needs, being taller than other men."
Tostig says they're done here. The rider rides away. Harald Hardrada asks who that dude was, because if it had been him talking, he'd have just killed the bast*rd there. Tostig says oh, that's my brother. That's Harold Godwinson, the king.
Harold Godwinson rode up to an enemy army personally and told the king of Norway, known to be a great warrior and general, that all he'd get from this invasion was a grave.
Battle commences. Norwegians lose. Tostig and Harald Hardrada both die. Huge bloody mess. English army is crippled. And then three days later the Normans land in the south. Harold is screwed. He still marches his army back, gathers as much force as he can, and engages three weeks later. He's killed at Hastings. Normans conquer England.
Basically a very personal f**k you moment that snowballed quite intensely.
The first cell phone.
The first cell phone. The first call ever made from a cell phone was to a competitor's landline. Big d*ck energy
Martin Cooper, a Motorola employee and inventor of the first cell phone, called his competition at Bell Labs.
The crowning of King Henry VII,
On the crowning of King Henry VII, he backdated his own reign to before the date of the Battle of Bosworth, meaning anyone who was loyal to him now but had shown any sign of opposition at Bosworth was now a traitor and an enemy to the realm. Justice served.
After the Restoration, the English dug up the body of Oliver Cromwell and hung, drawn and quartered the body, sticking the head on London Bridge
France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte
So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn't think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says "'sup" and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he's got enough forces that France is like "Well. Welcome back."
The French newspapers which, in 1815, were subject to the censor, announced the departure of Bonaparte from Elba, his progress through France, and his entry into Paris in the following ingenious manner:
— 9th March, the Anthropophagus has quitted his den
— 10th, the Corsican Ogre has landed at Cape Juan
— 11th, the Tiger has arrived at Gap
— 12th, the Monster slept at Grenoble
— 13th, the Tyrant has passed through Lyons
— 18th, Bonaparte is only sixty leagues from the capital; he has been fortunate enough to escape the hands of his pursuers
— 19th, Bonaparte is advancing with rapid steps, but he will never enter Paris
— 20th, Napoleon will, tomorrow, be under our ramparts
— 21st, the Emperor is at Fontainbleau
— 22nd, His Imperial and Royal Majesty, yesterday evening, arrived at the Tuileries, amidst the joyful acclamations of his devoted and faithful subjects.
A pirate known as Jean Lafitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5000 bounty on the governor
Otto von Bismarck
When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute sh*t out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor.
IN AD 37 the new Roman Emperor Gaius, better known by the nickname Caligula, built a bridge across the sea.
It stretched three miles across the deep blue waters of the Bay of Naples at ancient Rome's most fashionable seaside resort of Baiae.
But Caligula's was no ordinary bridge. It was a temporary, floating structure built on wooden pontoons, a costly and impressive feat of engineering. It served a single purpose before being dismantled.
On a day of boiling heat watched by crowds of spectators, Caligula rode across the bridge. His armour glinted in the sunlight, for the 24-year-old emperor had dressed himself in the golden breastplate of the legendary Greek hero Alexander The Great.
On the following day Caligula made the journey in reverse, this time riding in a chariot, followed by soldiers of his personal guard.
It was a pointless piece of showmanship, lost on the majority of the crowd, several of whom fell drunkenly to their deaths in the sea after two days' partying.
One historian claimed Caligula pulled the stunt to disprove a prophecy that he had no more chance of becoming emperor than of riding a horse across the Bay of Baiae.
The small town of Vulcan
In the 1970s the small town of Vulcan, West Virginia asked for state funding to replace a bridge into town. The state legislature refused to grant Vulcan the funding they needed. Instead the town appealed to the Soviet Union for aid. After hearing about the request, the state legislature immediately granted over $1 million for the town to build a new bridge.
If a small town in WV asking for soviet funding in the middle of the Cold War isn't a big middle finger to the state government, then I don't know what is.
The funny part is that two Soviet representatives at the US embassy actually came over to look at the broken bridge, and seriously considered funding the rebuilding to piss off the Americans.
British prisoner of war in Nazi Germany
British prisoner of war in Nazi Germany stitches a quilt. The Nazis put it out for show. Hidden in Morse code stitched in were the words "F hitler" and "god save the King"
This requires some background. The Spartans were famously blunt. They were trained to "get to the point" when speaking (instead of using artsy and beautiful language that would have been common at the time) by being bitten on the thumb if they became long winded. Now to the meat. Phillip the second of Masedon (Alexander the greats father) sent the Spartans a letter saying "Would you like me to enter your land as friend or foe?" The Spartans responded with one word. "Neither". Phillip was irate. He then sent another long winded message. "If once I enter into your territories, I will destroy ye all, never to rise again". The Spartans then sent back one word. "If". It was like putting your head in a lion's mouth and I love it.
Rollo swore allegiance to the French king
I would say the moment that Rollo swore allegiance to the French king:
"the bishops present suggested that Rollo kiss the king's foot, as a sign of submission. It was probably an idea intended to humiliate Rollo, and was not taken very well.
After some discussion, it was agreed that one of Rollo's men would do it. However, the person chosen lifted the king's foot, and, without bending down, brought it up to his mouth. Not surprisingly the king fell over, amid general laughter in the court. Following this amusing scene, the king and his men swore to honour the concession to Rollo."
This is already one of my favorite threads in reddit history...
Galvarino: Chilean warrior who had both his hands cut off by the conquistadors for raising arms against the Spanish. Instead of letting himself serve as a message of helplessness in the face of the invaders the crazy bast*rd strapped swords to his stumps and went on the warpath.
When Germanic tribes invaded Britain
When Germanic tribes invaded Britain after the Romans left, they named the native Celts Welisc, meaning "foreigner" (even though they themselves were the foreigners). That later became the word Welsh, which the English promptly adopted for phrases like welch on a bet.
TL;DR: all of history has been one giant etymological middle finger to the Welsh.
This is more petty, but when Taft bragged to his friends via telegram about scaling a mountain on horseback, that it was a few thousand feet, clear weather, all in all not too difficult, his friend replied, "HOW IS HORSE?"
History is full of interesting stories that we never learned in school.
What would you add to this list?
- Historians Share The Biggest FU Moments In History - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Which Things Movies and TV Shows Always Get Wrong - George Takei ›
Reddit user Aesthetik_1 asked: 'What made you instantly realize This "friend" is not a real friend?'
A good friend is not always the one with whom you share laughs and fun experiences.
The friendships you want to keep include those who won't abandon you in a time of need or someone who supports you in a variety of complicated situations where not even a family member can be relied upon.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced a time when a person's true colors revealed to us that the so-called "friend" we've always trusted wasn't one at all.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Aesthetik_1 asked:
"What made you instantly realize This 'friend' is not a real friend?"
These Redditors didn't realized at the time that they were being used.
"When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later."
"I have one of those 'friends'. She always gushes about how we're friends but she never initiates contact unless she wants me to do something for her."
The Errand Girl
"Several years back, I had a friend who introduced me to this new boy she was seeing. Maybe a year later, their relationship blew up in a fury of bs (whole other story), but by the time they split, I was equally friends with both of them. He and I were both photographers at the time, so the friendship was instantaneous."
"One day we started talking about her, neither positively nor in poor taste, just kind of in general."
"He then asked me 'when she texts to hang out, what does she usually want to do?'"
"I paused. I thought. Holy sh*t, she'd either be asking for a favour or for help with some kind of errand. I was her f'king errand girl."
"She texted me a month or two later, just a 'hey'. I never responded. She never texted again."
"I'm still friends with her ex, though. That dude is genuine as heck."
Testing The Friendship
"When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again."
"Yup. Made plans with a friend three times, she cancelled each time. I finally told her to let me know when she was free, we haven’t hung out since."
"She was a good friend for the season, but not a lifetime."
People were shocked to discover the moment they realized they didn't really know who their "friend" was anymore.
"I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close."
"One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck."
"She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I had to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways."
"She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her."
"I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the shi* feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her mom's rules. She rode the bus til she graduated."
"I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her."
"Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, 'My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave.'"
"It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later."
There's the spirit of competition, but when it's taken seriously, we're no longer game for these friendships.
I Can Do It Better
"Constantly 'one ups' me. A real friend is happy for you."
"That one time I got a fake bag but she doesn’t know and then 2 weeks later messaged me that she also bought a luxury bag… Then when I got a bf, she also went to get a bf within 3 months which is TOTALLY fine but she constantly messages me for us to go on a double date. Anyways, sadly they didn’t last long :( I mentioned that I wanted to go to Cuba, she went ahead and bought herself a ticket to Cuba but I didn’t end up going lol"
Never Steal The Spotlight
"When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous."
"Yes! I recently ghosted a friend because of this kind of behavior. She was trying to compete about EVERYTHING. Like she bragged about how her mom’s car accident was more traumatic than my elderly MIL’s - which is not even an appropriate thing to compare. She would also try to 'outshine' celebrations of my milestones and was mean to several of my friends for no apparent reason. She was a loose cannon at best."
All About Me
"ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself."
People can just be so rude.
"When I got really sick. Very few came to help."
"Same here. I got cancer and everyone I knew was over the top supportive for the first six months and then all but three of my friends just vanished. I saw one of them at a Halloween party while I was going through chemo and she told me that my bald head made people uncomfortable. I was dressed as Captain Picard, it was awesome and she ruined it."
Not Missing High School
"At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch."
"She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b*tch."
"Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee."
These examples actually served as a good reminder for me to take a moment and assess my friendships.
Not so much about how I've been treated but more about checking myself to see if I'm respecting the people I call my friends.
We've all been guilty of casually mentioning future plans to get together. I embarrassingly wait for people to initiate something, which is terrible.
Show up for your friends. Make them feel important like the individuals they are.
There are few moments in life more momentous than buying your first home.
Of course, as is the case with any big decision, after going through with it, your mind begins to spiral down into a series of doubts.
Most of the time, once you've moved in and lived there for a while, all these doubts begin to slowly disappear.
In some cases, though, those doubts quickly turn into regrets.
Particularly when you notice more and more elements of what you thought was your "dream" home that is more reminiscent of a nightmare.
Redditor californiabred was curious to hear the biggest regrets from people who recently purchased a home, leading them to ask:
"Homeowners who bought recently, what’s your biggest regret?"
Not The What, But The When
"Not buying 4 years ago."- 3rdPartyArbitor
Location, Location, Location!
"The situation when you bought a house where it was possible and a month later they sell a house in the area where you wanted"- BenefitOk3952
"Not knowing enough about the area/town."
"I hate where we live."
"Hoping we can move by the time my oldest starts kindergarten."- MP1087jason patric fox GIF by Wayward PinesGiphy
Upon Closer Inspection...
"The inspector told us the main drain in the basement was clogged."
"We thought it was clogged with something normal."
"It was, in fact, 'clogged' with cement from when our basement floor was redone."
"So now our basement regularly gets standing water on one side."- doctorpotterhead
"Hiring the wrong home inspector they missed so much, I really have to wonder if all those reviews were bought and paid for."- CaptainQuoth
"Not planting the fruit trees sooner."
"It’s a long wait."- SageLeaf1Plant Hope GIF by The Seed of Life FoundationGiphy
How Long Have You Got...
"Be shameless enough to perform your own base level of inspection of a house so you don’t have to rely on what an inspector finds or get in a situation where you have to make an offer regardless of what the inspection finds."
"Turn all the faucets on and run the dishwasher."
"Start the washer machine for a second."
"Figure out if there is any water pressure issue."
"Bring a multi line laser and a tape measure."
"Check for any significant changes in slope on the foundation for some settling issues."
"Pay attention to the downspouts."
"Do they terminate right at the house or do they have longer pipes that lead the water away?"
"Pay attention to the flooring and create a rough estimate of what it will cost to immediately replace the flooring."
"Way easier to do when you don’t have a house full of furniture and can do it right before you move in."
"On the financial side you need to talk with multiple lenders at all times and make sure they continue to give you the most up to date closing costs."
"There were a lot of sneaky numbers that made there way in that I was unaware of as a first time home buyer."
"Until that mortgage lender gives you the locked in rate don’t trust them as to what number they are currently telling you."
"Discover your maximum mortgage rate + escrow and work backwards as to the maximum house you can afford."
"Don’t buy based on the pipe dream of refinancing."- from_the_LuftGIF by BlindspotGiphy
"Not recent, but I still regret not refinishing the floors before I moved in."
"I'll never do it now."- WinterFilmAwards
"I regret not having the inside painted and the carpet replaced before we moved in."
"Been here two years and it never felt like 'my home' until I got rid of the stains of those who came before."- DaisyRage7
Consider A Test Drive...
"Not particularly recent, but we did not pull out cars in the driveway or attempt to park them."
"So we didn't realize that my car could only enter the driveway from one direction, so I had to turn around half a block up every time I needed to park."
"And we just BARELY got two cars in the driveway."
"So my regret is that I took for granted that the driveway met our needs."- gtizzzhomer simpson episode 24 GIFGiphy
Always Read The Fine Print
"I bought a few years ago."
"So many things have gone sideways."
"One thing I regret is not being educated about permits."
"Contractors/handymen/ anyone who works on your house really, never mentions a permit may be needed."
"Learned that it’s up to me and me alone to do the research and phone calls."
"Currently have a job on hold because they needed a permit."
"The company blamed me and now I’m not sure they’re even going to do the work."
"Watch the movie 'The Money Pit'."
"It’s not that far off."
"Some days I wish I’d just be a renter."- MissPeppingtosh
Simply Not Worth The Effort
"Don't bother childproofing your home."
"They still get in."- Blueblackzincseason 9 friends GIFGiphy
It's easy to question whether or not buying a home was the right decision.
But rather than live a life full of regret, why not make the most out of what you have, and turn your not-quite-dream home into a temporary dream home?
Who knows, it might even increase the resale value.
In an instant, anything can change in life.
Deciding to turn left instead of right at a traffic light can save your life -- and you may never know it.
That's why the movie "Sliding Doors" is so great.
Small choices and seemingly minor chances can shift things massively.
Redditor Lexie_Mark wanted to hear about how life can change drastically by the smallest influences, so they asked:
"What's a seemingly minor decision you made that ended up having a massive impact on your life?"
I had dinner with a guy once.
I told him a joke and let him read 5 pages of my writing.
Now I write for this website. BOOM!
Right TurnNever Mind Baby GIFGiphy
"Turned up to a military recruiting day on the wrong weekend as a youngster. Walked into a BBQ for traumatized veterans accidentally. That changed my mind."
"I had moved countries and decided to go back home after initial plans didn't work out. Had a ticket booked, was in a hotel near the airport, and got an invite to stay with online friends for a week or so before going back. Deferred my ticket, took them up on the offer."
"Met the love of my life there- moved to his city, have a new job, new friends, new life completely."
"While I was experiencing a period of career ennui, I treated myself to taking some college classes in biology, which I had always been interested in."
"While walking in the neighborhood close to the university one day, I saw one of the professors walking down the street, contentedly eating some ice cream. I don't know what possessed me, but I actually stopped him, said hello, that I was in one of his classes, and how much I liked the course."
"I have come across many professors in such casual circumstances before and since and never had the inclination or the guts to talk to them, particularly when they are clearly just having an enjoyable moment and likely don't want to be annoyed by a random student they don't even know."
"But I talked to him, and we had such a nice chat that he invited me to come to his lab and potentially do some work there. I came by a few days later, and he asked me a few questions and then asked one of his postdocs if he'd like to have me give him some help on a project. The postdoc said yes, and within 2.5 years I had my MS in biology (advised by Dr. Professor and helped greatly by that postdoc), and I was on my way to getting my PhD.
"Now I'm the prof."
On the Vespa
"4 months ago I was riding my Vespa to the gym on a Saturday morning, and I was T-boned by a car pulling out of a side street. She was looking the other way to make sure the traffic was clear and didn’t see me."
"I was coming from her right (in Australia, left-hand drive) and the front left of her car hit the back of my Vespa. If I had been half a second faster, I wouldn’t have been hit."
"I ended up with a crushed lower left leg and foot, permanent nerve damage, and 2 weeks in hospital. Fast forward to now, and I still can’t walk or move my leg and foot, I’m in unimaginable pain, and I (just today) lost my job."
"The recovery timeline is looking like 18-24 months and there’s no guarantee I’ll walk again."
"I was just trying to be healthy and go to the gym on a Saturday, and now my life has totally turned upside down. lol. Sigh."
Swipe Righttinder GIFGiphy
"Matched with a guy on Tinder and complained about my current job. Encouraged (and walked me through) the recruitment process for a government job and 5 years later I’ve had 4 promotions, earned almost twice my old salary, and have much higher job satisfaction."
Maybe Tinder isn't so bad after all.
Key StrokesJim Carrey Reaction GIFGiphy
"Taking a typing class in 1974. Almost no guys took typing at my school. Made life with computers a lot easier."
"Same here, it was the main reason I got a job in IT, I was able to have a lifelong career."
"Started running because I heard it helps with chronic tinnitus, now run 5 days a week, lost 20 kg, stopped drinking, and can sleep. It doesn't cure the tinnitus, there is no cure and probably never will be, but it made it more manageable, lowered the volume in my head, and let me sleep easier. I still have it and struggle with it sometimes, but running/exercise for me is the best way to mitigate the stress chronic tinnitus causes."
"Buying tickets to Guns 'N Roses. I'm from Northern Australia and went to the Brisbane show. Ended up going with an old friend who was looking for an extra roommate, moved to Brisbane, did an audio course cause I needed something to do, and ended up working in the music industry full-time. Just got off tour with Suicidal Tendencies as their backline tech and have had an incredible career so far."
"My current job was a throwaway application I submitted purely for interview practice. It was one of two listings I saw at once, one was quite detailed and looked really good, and the other one was a handful of vague bullet points that seemed interesting enough. The one I was hoping for never replied, the other one offered me more than the maximum salary on the ad. No regrets."
ForeverSmooch Love GIF by molehillGiphy
"I decided to have my first ever one-night stand."
"We've been together for 12 years!"
"So you still haven't had a one-night stand!"
Ah, the curse of the one-night stand gone wrong.
Love is all around.
At the end of the last century DNA laboratory companies began to offer direct-to-consumer home DNA test kits.
According to The Center for Genetics and Society, as of November 2023 more than 26 million people have taken an at-home ancestry DNA test.
These tests have helped people find and reunite with long lost family members. However not all revelations were well met.
Unknown ancestry was discovered.
Infidelity and secrets and lies were also exposed by these tests which led to strife in some families.
Reddit user OmarBessa asked:
"Redditors who have gotten genetic tests, what's the weirdest thing you learnt from your DNA?"
"So my dad is from the Philippines and my brothers and I all assumed our whole lives we are half Filipino and half Polish/German from my mom. Even my brothers married Filipino women and are very much into the family culture."
"Anyway I’m the only one who did the dna test and it came back we are only a 1/4 Filipino."
"There’s a mix—1% Japanese, 1% South American, etc...—but the big surprise was our missing 1/4 was Iranian/Romanian."
"My brothers flat out refuse to believe it."
"Learned that I (White) had a 100% Nigerian ancestor around 130 years ago. Now I want to dig deeper to find out who it was!"
"What’s funny is that I spent a gap year in Nigeria as a teenager, and I love the culture and food and still have a lot of Nigerian friends."
"It’s still a big part of my life."
"For 29 years, it was assumed that my dad who raised me was not my biological father, that I was the product of an affair my mother was having."
"I came out with blond hair, freckles and blue eyes. A stark difference to my tanned, dark featured dad."
"My dad chose to raise me as his own anyways, refusing paternity tests. I was never made to feel like I wasn't his."
"I took 23&Me simply out of curiosity and found out that he is in fact my biological father."
"My dad has told me he didn't want to know the results either way, but I let it slip showing my sister's the app one time at dinner."
"He didn't react, but I got an extra big bear hug getting on the train to leave that night."
"It was assumed when my mom found out she was pregnant that the pregnancy was the product of the affair. My features only solidified that assumption."
"He was already raising my mom's first daughter as his own, who he'd met when she was 2 and told my mom he wanted to keep raising the kids together. They got married and he adopted her a few months after I was born."
She was also treated so much as his that I didn't even know she was adopted by him until I was a teenager."
"My parents stayed together for 14 years, and to this day are still best friends."
"As an adult, my father-in-law found out his mother was actually his grandmother and his older sister was actually his mom."
"Things were different in the late 30's."
"I think this is quite common, especially when the real mother is still very young and in school when they get pregnant."
"The grandparents will adopt the baby and say they’re the mum’s sister/brother, and so the mum can continue their life as normal as possible."
"The daughter I adopted and I are actually distantly related!"
"As an adoptee who is considering doing the DNA thing, this intrigues me."
"My brother (also adopted, not a blood related sibling to me) did the DNA thing and found his birth family! I got to meet two of his half siblings. It was fascinating seeing 'nature vs nurture' in real time."
"There were certain mannerisms, etc... that all three of them did, and then other things my brother did that are definitely from the family we were raised in."
"Really cool to watch."
"Not me but my grandma got a DNA test done because she was sold as a baby—this happened back in the 30s (Depression Era, USA)—and never knew her biological parents, so a family member urged her to do it so we could maybe find them."
"We found both sides—a half-sister from her bio mom and a half-brother from her bio dad."
"Although it was kinda weird to realize we have family close by (only 20 miles away in one case), it was much weirder for the bio families to discover my grandma’s existence, since neither side had anything to do with the other."
"Her bio mom and bio dad seem to have crossed paths at some point in the same city. He was a married man, she was an older teen. Not sure if it was a one night stand or whatever but her bio mom was pregnant as a result of that night."
"At some point in her pregnancy, she checked into a home/hospital for pregnant unwed teen mothers (using a fake name). The bio mom was told the home would find homes for the babies, so she delivered and left."
"Bio mom went on to marry and have her own family, while bio dad likely never knew of the situation."
"As it would turn out, the home was not adopting out babies, rather selling them. Since my grandma was blonde and blue eyed she was bought quickly for a higher price by a woman."
"My grandma didn’t know until her teens that she was sold."
"My grandparents—they were married at the time—had a biological son they gave up for adoption before my mother was born and never told any of us about."
"Turns out some of the extended family knew my grandma had been pregnant before my mom but kept it a secret."
"If it was during the great depression in the US it was sadly something that happened. Not even just with babies."
"Some families had to give away their children or some of their children (I can't imagine the trauma for everyone involved) because they couldn't afford to feed themselves, let alone a child."
"My husband's grandmother told me about family members she knew who had to find new families for their children or even send them to live in an orphanage where they would at least be fed.
"Sometimes they were able to get the kids back after finances improved but not always."
"My ancestry is exactly what I grew up being told, I have several family members who were really into genealogy".
"But I found out I have a first cousin we didn't know existed."
"Apparently, my uncle had gotten married and had a son no one knew about when he was 19 and stationed across the country that he bailed on."
"Ends up my bio dad was quite the dabbler."
"None of his relatives were surprised I existed, just that I was the only stray kid that did (so far). I keep an eye on my results for any other mystery siblings!"
"I told my new half siblings if I ever went to a family reunion I'd show up in a shirt that said 'Spare Parts' or 'I'm your plot twist'."
Solving Unsolved Mysteries
"I had the same suspicions when I took my test. Turns out it was my grandmother instead with the secret babies she put up for adoption."
"Didn’t find out until 6 years after she passed away so we’re never getting answers as to what happened."
"Also got a surprise contact by the police, as I was a high match to a John Doe that was found drowned on the shores of Lake Superior in 1991."
"That was a fun family tree rabbit hole to dive down. Turned out to be a half 1st cousin from my grandmother’s firstborn."
"The local police were great about informing me and communicating. The case was assigned to them by the provincial police who were clearing out thousands of cold cases."
"I was also very excited to assist because I’d done a rather in-depth family tree about a decade prior."
"They have a team of forensic genealogists, most of them on a volunteer basis, and they were incredibly good at finding information. A lot of it was birth/marriage records and working off random dna matches to try and figure out where the Doe related to the match."
"In my case, I was a 422cm match to the deceased so we looked from my maternal great-grandparents on down."
"I assisted myself on a couple of cases afterwards, all just unidentified bodies found in water or bush, nothing criminal that would require clearance."
"To be honest, I felt a little morbid because of how interested I was in the process. I had to temper my enthusiasm when responding to the police initially."
I didn’t know the person, I had zero attachment to them and it was more of a scientific interest."
"It wasn’t until weeks later when I realized how close of a relation it was that it hit me. That plus he was likely murdered made me feel bad about my earlier enthusiasm."
"But in the cases I volunteered on, those people were loved and missed."
"One fella was a cousin of a beloved NHL enforcer that passed away a year before and I recognized the names of the immediate family we had to contact. They still had Facebook groups dedicated to searching for him with posts until the day before we contacted them."
"I’m sure there’s a relief at having answers but grief at the loss being confirmed."
More and more people are exploring their roots through DNA testing.
Have you taken a test? What was your DNA revelation?