Parents Reveal Why They Won't Let Their Children Have Sleepovers At 'That' Kid's House
Growing up, a lot of us had parents that never let us have sleepovers. It may have really bugged us as kids, but when was the last time you stopped to think about why?
Reddit user mephizto85 asked:
Parents of Reddit, what was a legit reason why you didn't let your son/daughter have THAT friend over/go to a sleepover?
So we may finally have some answers... but we're going to be honest with you - many of you will wish you hadn't been curious. The thing about kids is that it's often not the child's fault that they're sketchy. It comes from somewhere - somewhere a lot of us wish didn't exist. We're going to be talking a lot about parents and situations that are downright horrific and heartbreaking. Proceed with caution if those things are difficult for you. They certainly are for us.
Content Warning: the following contains talk of: suicide/self harm, abuse, violence/domestic violence/abuse, addiction, questionable parenting.
"Good To Take A Break"
This all went down about ten years ago. The kid was on serious medication for major behavioral issues, the kid's sibling was the favorite. Parents would dump said unwanted kid at our house, without medication because "it was good to take a break" from antipsychotics.
I say "unwanted kid" because he'd come over on an empty stomach and was left for hours after the promised pickup time. He was ditched with whoever while they took the other kid out to eat and shop. They also didn't offer snacks/drinks and eventually banned reciprocal visits after we spoke up about his treatment.
It sucks that the parents were awful.
The kids mother let them go in the backyard with her 13 year old to watch them. The kid, who was 5 at the time, filled a spray bottle up with bleach secretly without anyone knowing. He then took my child behind a shed, held him down and sprayed him.
When he started screaming is when the sister realized something was up. He was drenched in bleach, his skin was irritated all over from it. I told mom he would never be allowed over there again. His mother was crying saying she couldn't control her son. My wife and I were shocked as we didn't anticipate anything like that could happen on a play date.
Our little guy is very sensitive and took it very hard. He told me when I was taking him to school that he didn't want to play with him anymore and that hes not a nice person and makes him cry.
I should emphasize this kid is also 5, and slightly younger than ours. He walked down to our house by himself one day, and I told him he is not welcome in our house. He asked why and I told him it was because he does bad things. I then walked him back home, no one in his house even knew he had left!
I told his mom that our child would no longer be playing with him, she said that I was being overly dramatic and that they were just kids. I told her that if she thinks this is "kid behavior" she was in for a rough life when he gets older. I also reminded her she said herself that she couldn't control him and he's 5. What does she think is going to happen as he gets older? She didn't say anything. I told her to let her son know to not knock on our door again.
"I Said She's Staying"
My parents went to drop off my stuff at a friends house because I wanted to spend the night. They walked in, and my dad said "Nope you're coming home." She had two brothers; one was super nice, one was very touchy. My dad wasn't comfortable at all.
Her dad then threatened my dad and said:
"You can't take a child out of my home. This is my home, and I said she's staying."
Like my friend's dad thought he somehow owned me because I was in his house? I'm pretty sure this was basically kidnapping. My dad, being 6'3 and a large dude, got in his face (her dad looked like a string bean) and said he was taking me home right now. My dad told me later he had a really bad gut feeling something bad would have happened if I stayed.
Her brother is in jail now.
I was a situation that set off my early warning senses. We were staying at an acquaintance's house. She had a 3 year old son. My daughter was 5. They played well together, but I got some weird vibes that told me that my daughter shouldn't be crashing in the living room in a sleeping bag. I had her sleep with my wife in the guest bed while I slept on the couch. I kept a close watch on the kids the rest of the evening.
The next day as we were leaving, the 3 year-old basically tackled my daughter (he was big, she was very small) and tried to mount and hump her on the floor. I extracted her and told him that wasn't appropriate. My daughter laughed it off as him trying to "wrestle" with her. Once in the car I told my wife under no circumstances would our daughter ever be allowed back in that house, ever. She agreed.
Old Habits Die HardGiphy
He was a little kleptomaniac. He came over exactly 3 times to hang out. Each time something would go missing, No more visits. Found out recently he was recently charged with embezzlement at the company he used to work for!!
Harboring A Runaway
I no longer allowed my son's best friend to come to our place or for him to go over to his after the best friend's mom reported us to the police as harboring a runaway. This was after the best friend had been tossed out of his mom's house and told to spend the night sleeping outside AND she'd refused our phone calls to find out what was going on.
So yes, I wasn't going to let a 16-year-old spend the night in 30 degree weather with nowhere to go, sue me. The cops showed up, said she'd reported us as harboring a runaway. We explained what was happening and got treated like dirt and told that from now on we had to have full permission from the mom. Fine. We urged my son's friend to go to the police, report to them what was happening, and left it at that.
The mom tried to apologize three days later as "being off her meds" and say it was okay for my son to go to their house and vice versa. The way she said "vice versa" felt like a trap, so I politely refused and hung up while she was screaming at me. I'd always been kind of uncomfortable with the woman and that just sealed it. They were still friends at school, but there were no more hanging out at either one's house and I explained why and they both agreed to the rules.
I hated it, because he and my son were part of a big group of kids that would all hang out at each other's houses all the time. Suddenly I had to worry about this woman freaking out or doing something to my son if he was over there or accusing us again if my son's friend came to our house.
Fortunately there was a third friend who this kid's mom was not mad at yet, so they'd all meet up over there. I warned them about it and the dad who was military basically nicely asked and recorded this kid's mom consent every time without her knowledge since we live in a one-party state. He told me, "Yeah, let her send my cousin who works at the PD to my house to tell me I'm harboring a runaway."
The son is in the military now and doing quite well and no longer has contact with his mother. Gee, I wonder why.
My daughter is not allowed to stay at "A's" house and "A" can only come to ours during the day but never overnight.. We allowed her to stay the night there 1 time last year and the stories that came back from a single night were completely unacceptable. Here are a few...
1. The dad has a room that no one is allowed to go in, not even the mom. When he is going into it or coming out of it he knocks on the door and everyone has to look in the other direction. The windows of that room are even blocked out with black trash bags. A said she has seen the inside of the room before and there is just a couch, a TV and a XBOX1. I don't care. My daughter is never going to go there.
2. The dad also apparently has lots of "friends" that visited all through the night. Most friends never actually came in the house. None of them knocked on the front door. The dad would either get a message or just know they were there and hangout with them for a little while by their back door.
3. In the morning, before I picked my daughter up her and A were outside playing with the dogs. My daughter is well mannered and when A's dad asked her if she had put her breakfast plate away she answer "yes, sir." Well, apparently, what he heard was "yes, sergeant" and it royally pissed him off. He started screaming at A that her friends are disrespectful and that my daughter wasn't allowed back in his house. He then referred to himself in third person as "Sergeant" for the rest of the day and I am told it was until way after my daughter was gone. A told my daughter at school that it had all been straightened out and her dad felt bad about the misunderstanding and wants her to come stay the night again and will take them 4-wheeler riding in the woods as an apology. First of all, they don't have 4-wheelers so how is this even possible? Secondly, there is no way is my daughter going out in the woods with this guy.
If you are wondering, no he did not let my daughter back in the house after he kicked her out. A had to pack up her things for her, which her dad watched her do to make sure she wasn't taking anything of theirs. When I got there, they were sitting outside. I had no idea why nor did I think anything of it till I got the previously mentioned story.
Also, what was packed up for my daughter as "her stuff" was not all of her stuff and we had to make a run to the store later for a toothbrush and her shampoo. She also didn't get any of her dirty clothes back and A insisted at school that she couldn't find anything else of my daughter's at their house. hmmmmm.
The mom also did not speak the whole night. She just watched TV and would get up to get something for her husband or make him dinner but she didn't speak to A or my daughter and she also did not make them any food. They had some popcorn for "dinner" and made their own breakfast in the morning.
These girls were 16 at the time. I wish my daughter would have called me to say things were a bit odd. I would have come to get her sooner. Since this incident, we now have a code message because she said she didn't know what to say even if she did call me. So now if something is amiss and she is uncomfortable she is to call or message me asking when her next orthodontist appointment is. It lets me think of the reason she has to be picked up and she does not have to feel awkward or in anyway disrespectful. I have also told her it is perfectly acceptable to just say she wants to go home, but I also understand where that can escalate an already bad situation.
Now for why A can't stay the night at our house: Because the one time she did spend the night at our house, her dad would call her randomly, even at 4 am. She missed the call once around 12:30 am and immediately called him back. He was already in his car driving to our house to get her because she didn't answer and I had to listen to a teenager talk her own dad out of a screaming rage. It was disgusting and I am not going to have that around my daughter.
I have not stated as much to my daughter but I am perfectly happy that her and A do not hang out anymore. I have been told that Child Services does have an open and ongoing file about their household, at least as of March of this year. I wish I had known before this all happened, but I am just glad I know now and that my daughter was open enough with me to tell me and I pray that there isn't more that happened that she didn't.
The Fire Trap
My friend and her sister could sleep at our house but my sister and I couldn't sleep at theirs. In college I figured it out - their house was a fire trap. Pathways between stuff like a hoarder's house, the bathtub was full of dirty water constantly, you had to move stuff just to use the toilet, the stairs to the basement (where we would've slept) covered in clothes and only one way out of the basement - the windows were to small to crawl out of if you were larger than an average two year old.
Saw the inside of the house years later and it was like a different house. They had a piano in the living room that I'd never seen before because it was just covered in hoarder crap.
Not Allowed At Home
The girl was completely disrespectful to our home and honestly too old to be constantly hanging out with out daughter. The girl is 12, our daughter is six. She'd constantly leave trash all outside, on our stairs, inside our couch, floor to where the baby can get..makeup/paint all over our carpets. She didn't care. It didn't matter how much we would ask her not to do it.
At the last and final sleepover, she invited a kid we didn't know to stay with her too. I felt bad because the girl was younger. Until it was 1am and they were blasting music, yelling, and dancing (we live on the 2nd floor) We told them to go to bed and at 730am they were up to the same exact thing.
She started coming over first thing in the morning, staying until late at night. I told her if she was hungry, she had to go home and eat and come back as we didn't have enough food to feed everyone. My husband has been out of work and we're really struggling financially. She only lives 2 doors down, but wouldn't go. Whatever snacks we had for our 3 kids were gone in a day because she ate everything.
Then we found out the why behind all of this.
Come to find out..she "wasn't allowed at home" while her mom was at work. Mom's 24-year-old boyfriend didn't have a job and was at home. The girl was "getting boobs" so mom didn't want to be home alone with him.
There's so much wrong with that statement, but it's what was said. We live in the Arizona heat, so if we weren't home the poor kid would be stuck walking around the complex in the heat. No one else lets her and friends inside because of their behavior - but now that we know what's going in it's perfectly obvious why she was acting out.
And sorry to say, but if mom doesn't trust them alone..why would she trust him when she's there? Many cases of abuse happen when someone is in the other room! It's wrong all around. You do not keep someone around your kids if you can't trust them around them at all times, any given situation.
Just last week the mom sent her to another state for a bit, my daughter misses her... but it's been nice not having my place full of kids (she'd bring friends all the time) all day every single day and eating all the food we don't have. I'm honestly thankful she sent her kids away (Yes, plural. She had already sent her 8-year-old away before this.) for a while. Maybe she'll smarten up before they come back.
People Break Down Which Practices The United States Needs To Adopt From Other Countries
We can all agree that there is something to appreciate about every country in the world, but there are arguably some countries that appear to have their ducks more consistently and happily in a row than others.
While it would be easy to let pride get in the way and continue to do things the same way, the more productive thing would be to learn from the countries who have figured out a better way to do certain things, whether it's healthcare, food banks, or other services.
Reflecting on the United States, Redditor Blinds**thead asked:
"What is one thing the USA should adopt from some other country?"
Introductions to Alcohol
"Swedish drinking laws. If I remember correctly, you can purchase alcohol below 5% at age 18, and be served liquor in bars (so the bartender can control the amount being served)."
"Seems like a smarter way to introduce kids to alcohol rather than opening the floodgates at 21."
Taxes to Approve
"I've never done them but they seem complicated and stress my parents out, so I just know I'll f**k mine up and end up in stupid jail, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Just send me something to sign, please!"
"A prison system that focuses on rehabilitation instead of punishment. Many countries have been successful with this saving literally billions of dollars and cutting down on crime."
Universal School Lunches
"Universal school lunches. It is embarrassing that we do not have folks cooking lunches for students from scratch and that it is not provided for free to all students."
"Do you want to bring your own lunch? Great, but you can also have the free hot lunch that looks homemade, not pizza squares, canned veggies, a slice of fruit, and 3 oz of milk."
"Kids shouldn't be going into debt for lunch. We're probably wealthy enough that our food waste alone would be sufficient, if captured magically, to feed every kid in the United States three proper meals per day."
"Also walkable cities and above-ground monorail systems."
"Finland has recently ended homelessness by just allowing people to live in small apartments without any preconditions, and four out of five of them make their way back to a stable life."
"It's also cheaper than allowing people to be homeless."
Foster Care Assistance
"It would be nice to also eliminate the fees foster parents pay for general registration, classes, and social services related to fostering or adoption."
"And also eliminate trying to recoup costs by billing parents whose children have been placed in foster care."
Longer Paid Family Leave
"I was SUPER blessed to get 12 weeks fully pay. But that’s not enough time. Putting the emotional aspect aside, I’ve returned to work functioning on four to five hours of sleep a night, and my productivity and cognitive abilities are greatly handicapped."
"My three-month-old son can’t even hold his head up or sit, let alone talk to tell me if anything’s wrong, and he’s placed in the care of someone else from 7:15 am to 5:15 pm. Doesn’t seem healthy for mother or child."
"The fact that our toilets don't have bidets and that at public restrooms the gap between the doors is massive, are both disgusting. Our whole bathroom situation is messed up."
Having a Siesta
"According to Dr. Andrew Huberman, whether you eat lunch or not, everyone requires a rest midday."
Tax Included in the Price
"Man, I had such a hard time with this when I visited America. Maths in my head is not my forte and I’m so used to looking at prices and expecting that to just be the price."
"I don’t get why you wouldn’t just add in the tax to the price. No one wants to do math unnecessarily. I mean, we don’t even tip in Australia so I don’t even need to work that out."
Raising Multilingual Children
"Teaching a foreign language to young students in public schools (ie 5yrs, k-5) when the propensity to learn the language quickly is maximum."
Clean Public Restrooms
"The clean restrooms in Japan were amazing. I never had to clean a toilet seat to put my young kids on it. In the states? Near every time. People here just don’t care about the ‘we’ when it comes to restrooms."
Separate Work and Healthcare
"Decent healthcare that isn't tied to your job. Other countries all over the world have figured out different ways to do this, so why can't we? (I know, corporations own politicians.)"
"I'm not an expert, but I'm guessing it would destabilize a bunch of industries in the near term. But I wonder if long-term, it would create so much new innovation since people would be unafraid to lose their health benefits to leave their stable but s**tty corporate jobs to start new ventures."
Designated Drivers on the Go
"In Japan, there is a service that you can call 24 hours per day that will come with two drivers and one car. One driver drives you and your car home, and the other follows in their car to pick up the driver that took you home with your car. No DUI, etc."
"It's actually really affordable there. No need to get an uber home that night and then an uber back the next day when you are hungover only to find out you have a million parking tickets or your car got towed."
Though there are positives to every country, it would be so cool to see each country be more open-minded about adopting the positives of other countries.
If a country is doing something better than another, the best thing for the citizens would be to take some notes, rather than let their pride do the talking.
Every year, at the end of the Academy Awards, while the auditorium erupts in cheers upon the announcement of the Best Picture winner, as they are somewhat obligated to do, many viewers at home instead shake their heads and raise their eyebrows.
That's if they don't throw popcorn or worse at their TVs.
While those who did so when La La Land was announced as the winner in 2017 would end up getting their revenge in what remains one of the biggest blunders of Oscar history, others are still reeling at some past winners, which they believe were more worthy of a Razzie than an Oscar.
Taste being subjective, plenty of people still find themselves confused by some films which won countless awards, received across-the-board raves, and are considered classics or masterpieces, but they find to be utterly unbearable.
Often finding themselves in an unpopular minority and having to keep their opinion to themselves, similar to Seinfeild's Elaine Benes and her unique disdain for The English Patient.
"Which film that’s universally praised do you find utterly repulsive?"
"My best friend really enjoys movies that make you anxious and uncomfortable like 'Uncut Gems' and 'Good Time', but I firmly do not like those kinds of movies."
"I know it's the point, but i find no joy in the level of discomfort I feel while watching them."
"Some other honorable mentions:"
Not Exactly Authentic
"'The Greatest Showman'."
"Mostly on the grounds that the real P T Barnum was a f*cking monster."- LostMercenary99
"The real John Smith was a f*cking sick bastard and the true events most definitely weren't a love story at all."- CagedKagepocahontas GIFGiphy
Who The "Devil" Was Is Debatable...
"'The Devil Wears Prada'."
"I just wanted everyone in that movie to die in a fire."- PothierM
Tearjerker, Or Sleeping Pill?
"I don't know if it's universally praised but I f*cking hate it."- sara_c907
One Of The All Time Creepiest Shower Scenes...
"Every damn Christmas."
"To be fair I can’t really stand Will Ferrel in general."- cook-isationwill farrel ross geller GIFGiphy
The Title Could Refer To The People Leaving The Theater...
"'Fast and Furious', just a terribly written extremely corny show."- tds542
Fern Gully Did It Better...
"All day long."
'Those blue miserable tw*ts."- akbarkhan666
There Was Bound To Be One...
"I don't know about utterly repulsive, but I have a hard time seeing why everyone loves 'Citizen Kane'."
"And I understand that there was movie making before 'Citizen Kane' and movie making after 'Citizen Kane' such that it informed movie makers going forward as to how it's done, let's say, but after a certain point we, the audience, don't see that anymore, and it's just another movie."
"And then I hear people say well it highlights social hierarchy under capitalism and such, but a lot of movies do that."
"And then there's the twist at the end which is not much of a twist which is the point, I suppose, but the whole thing seemed like a letdown when I finally watched it."
'As a result while a lot of people say it's their number one movie ever or at least in their top 10, it's on my top 10 list of movies not to watch again."- emjayseacitizen kane applause GIFGiphy
Why Not Just Do A Documentary?
"I think it's atrocious how they create hyperreality by over romanticizing the life of a famous person."
"Out of all the awful biopics however, i despise 'Bohemian Rhapsody' the most."
"The scene where the band supposedly invents 'We Will Rock You' on the spot makes my skin crawl."
"How did that movie end up winning so many awards, despite all the plot inaccuracy's and the poor editing."
"It is really beyond me."- Biemolt
Maybe Too Realistic?
'Not utterly repulsive, but I'm in the minority for thinking that 'Nomadland''s Best Picture win was a joke."
"It was barely a movie and relied too much on performance exploitation of actual people for its thin-as-f*ck narrative."
"Honestly, it might be my least favorite BP winner of recent times, yes I'd say that even 'Crash', 'The Artist' and 'Green Book' were better."- SamwisethePoopyButt
Not To Mention That Fake Baby...
"Shameless piece of 'Merican' propaganda, and I couldn't help but laugh at Bradley Cooper's portrayal in the first half hour."- mos_methBradley Cooper Baby GIFGiphy
Truman Capote Would Agree...
"Breakfast at Tiffany's."- LucyVialli
He Did Not Have Them At Hello...
"It was just TOO. DAMN. LONG."
"The 'Show me the money' bit was funny, but it happened early on in the film, and the rest dragged on forever."- Brilliant_Tourist400
We All Know "Moonlight" Was Better...
"'La La Land'."
"The music was utterly forgettable and the plot felt like it was written by a bunch of Hollywood executives jerking each other off."- Aviator506Emma Stone Love GIF by La La LandGiphy
Needless to say, everyone's taste is different, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Meaning there's bound to be an argument at the next "movie night" you have with friends over whether to watch Citizen Kane or Spice World.
And you should feel no shame in expressing which movie you want to watch.
Or rather, "what you really, REALLY, want" to watch...
Everyone wishes there was something different about their body.
Smaller nose, longer legs, a different hair or eye color.
There are those, however, whose frustrations with their body are less personal, and more universal.
Finding themselves frustrated less with their own DNA, but with human anatomy in general.
Frustrated by how certain functions work the way they do, and feeling there could be significant improvements in other departments as well.
"What is the biggest design flaw of the human body?"
Would Make A Lot Of People Less Cautious
"Unable to regenerate body parts."
"You lose an arm or a leg, you can't grow a new one."
"We can grow hair and nails forever, but not body parts."- drygnfyre
And Maybe The Whole Childbirth Process While We're At It...
"The size of the average baby head vs the size of the average vagina."- Ruggiard
"The Obstetric Dilemma."
"Basically, the human body isn't built for easy birth."- strykazoidSeason 3 Baby GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
It Isn't Terribly Practical If You Think About It...
"IMO the whole 'we put food into the only air hole we have and can choke and die if we aren’t careful' thing is a pretty big miss."- el_rico_pavo_real
"Throat has a built in flaw - we breath n swallow food through the same area."- coolguy1793B
A More Direct Route Would Be Helpful
"I like the example of the recurrent laryngeal nerve."
"It runs from the brain to the larynx."
"However, to get there it goes from the brain, down the neck, into the chest, around the aorta and then back up the chest, up the neck and then connects to the larynx."
"That's a massive detour."
"It also means a blow to the chest can damage your ability to talk."- The_Thunder_ChildGiphy
Never Underestimate The Damage Teeth Can Do
"The fact that I sometimes accidentally eat the inside of my mouth."- -Grey_Area-·
He Does Have A Point
"'Nostalgia is the greatest human weakness. Second only to the neck'... -Dwight Schrute
In Plain Sight...
"In our eyes, the blood vessels supplying our photoreceptors are in front of them and therefore in the way of the incoming light."
"Probably not the biggest and there are some good justifications for it being set up this way."
"But it still must be such a pain for the brain constantly having to edit these out when forming our visual experience."- oliwoggleLoop Eyes GIF by Doze StudioGiphy
Maybe Just Every Illness And Ailment?
"My aunt had one when she was 31 and the healthiest person in the world."
"Ran an aerobics class at the Y, just perfect perfect health."
"Went to Pizza Hut with her the night before, next day, massive stroke, almost died, critical surgery, twenty years later she still has trouble speaking."
"There is no reason that should’ve happened."
"Perfectly healthy person damaged for the rest of her life."
"She’s still amazing and lovely and my favorite person but damn is that annoying."- Jibber_Fight
"You can kinda just die at any moment from a brain aneurysm, even if you're perfectly healthy."- mcsteve87
All Our Bones Could Be Stronger...
"For upright walking creatures, why is our head so (relatively) delicate?"
"Trip a single time and you're blinded, have brain damage, bit off your tongue, or lost teeth."- kmn493Episode 15 Pain GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
They Arguably Also Weren't Built For Stairs...
"Our knees for sure."
"They just weren't built to last past 40 years."- TopShelfCrazy
A Couple More On/Off Switches Would Be Helpful As Well...
"That we cannot delete or sort unwanted/not needed info and memories from our brains."- PickAName616
As the saying goes, "nobody's perfect."
Or rather, "no BODY is perfect."
Otherwise, we'd all stop complaining about aching limbs or worrying about choking or other injuries.
People Share The Absolute Worst Relationship Advice They've Ever Received
Relationships are hard, and sometimes, they're confusing. When you're having a problem with your partner, or you're inexperienced and looking for lessons, you turn to your friends and family for advice.
Sometimes, the advice is sound and helps make things better.
Other times, the advice is trash and makes everything worse.
Redditors know this all too well, and are sharing the worst relationship advice they've ever gotten.
It all started when Redditor Spectrelegit asked:
"What is the worst relationship advice you've ever heard?"
Loyal As A Dog
"Any "loyalty tests". Always a bad idea."
"Heard a youtube therapist once say that as soon as you decide to do a loyalty test, you've already decided the relationship is over because either they fail and you can't trust them, or they pass and you show them that you don't trust them and they stop being able to trust you"
"Ultimatums fall under a similar category."
"If this is a current situation it sounds pretty toxic, and if you are unhappy I hope you get the support you need to make any changes."
Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend
"Spend 3 months salary on an engagement ring. This was literally started by the rich diamond families to increase sales."
"My girl literally threw a jewelry store book at me with the ring she wanted circled and happily said there was a coupon lol. It was like $80 but it's the one she wanted. We've been together for almost 10 years and happily married for nearly 3 now"
"Yeah it's ridiculous, there's lab created gems that are basically the same and a fraction of the cost."
"I’ve said this to friends and family several times when they’ve asked me while stressing about picking out expensive rings:"
"if the ring is the problem, then the ring is not the problem."
Not The Way To Go
"There was a Reddit post about a guy who told his partner that she stunk several times a day. Poor girl was horrified. It got to the point that she was showering incessantly, using industrial strength deodorants and he still complained non-stop."
"Paraphrasing here, but when finally confronted, it turns out his father had given him this sound advice: “Tell a women she smells bad, and she’ll never leave you.”"
"Daddy was wrong."
Anything Doesn't Go
"That you only truly care if you're "ride or die.""
"An ex once told me that she thought if she pushed me far enough that I'd leave. I told her "Yes, I would leave. Why would I want to be with someone who thought so little of me that they'd push me far enough?""
"I had put up with a lot of abusive behaviour from her and it didn't last much longer before she tested my statement and I did exactly what I said."
"Totally!! And that you should love your partner “unconditionally” ie any behaviour goes. Nope"
Maybe Not The Right Person To Ask
"A friend of mine once prefaced some unsolicited advice about my 10-year marriage with the phrase, "I've been in dozens of relationships..." and then he went on to rant about how men shouldn't do the grocery shopping or something stupid like that."
"Right, we had a three times divorced friend who loved to give relationship advice. Most of it was BS."
"The Children" Need A Good Example
"Stay together for the kids."
"I was the child. Please don’t."
"I was also the child. Your children know when you don’t love each other, when you’re fighting all the time because you decided to stay with someone you can barely tolerate. They will live with that knowledge and grow up with a warped perception of love and relationships because they were never given a proper example."
"They will either become obsessive and do whatever they can to make someone stay, or they’ll develop a fear of commitment that will ruin every relationship before they even get the chance to try it. Divorce can be messy, especially when kids are involved, but sometimes the alternative can be far worse. If you decide to have kids, do right by them."
"“There is a perfect person out there”"
"No. No there isn’t. There is no such thing. People change as they experience life. To believe someone will stay the same forever is silly. Pick someone who you can grow with and shares common values with you. Everyone has to make some compromises and that includes someone making them on you too."
Not A Great Justification
"Being married is like eating spaghetti every night for dinner. No matter what sauce you put on it, it's still spaghetti. Sometimes a man needs to eat some steak once in a while."
"That was from my dad while trying to justify cheating on my mom."
Look Good For You
"My (very attractive but very unhappy in her own marriage mother) tried to make me believe that the secret of a successful marriage is to look desirable at every hour of the day and night . Make up, clothes, perfume… anything to keep the husband interested. Having a personality is nice but not necessary."
"I feel guilty of this, although I also feel like I can take the time to get ready all I want, he’s still going to admire someone else and probably in front of you. Just get ready for yourself if it makes you feel better. I have always hated to go out in public to run into anyone bareface, whether it’s an old friend, someone who picked on me in school, an old crush."
"Not sure where it came from me being this way but growing up my parents made fun of me when I’d have no make up on. If I got bad grades or did something that upset them they’d take it away and give it back saying “I need it.” Then other days tell me I wear too much of it, like high school wasn’t enough already. I could never win."
"I know several people who believe this and it’s sad"
Don't Be Who You Are
"When I was a teenager, my mom told me to not let boys see I was smart because no man is attracted to a woman whose smarter than he is. Also, I should work on my laugh because no one would be attracted to my laugh."
"Being smart and passionate about your interests is the most attractive thing ever"
Tell Me I'm Right
"Most people that come to you for relationship advice don’t want to advice they want you to validate the terrible decision they are about to make."
"I think your statement applies to advice in general. A lot of people to want to actually change or put in effort, they just want validation for their choices."
Yeah, that tracks.
We cannot believe some folks are dishing out such advice!
Has anyone every told you something truly crazy to keep a relationship propped up? Let us know in the comments.