Parents are everything, well good parents, parents who are destined to be parents. Some people really shouldn't be parents. That's for another time to discuss. When we are all born our parental units have such high hopes and plans.... and more often then not, the spawn will choose the adverse path. When you're children choose the adverse path, it has to be harrowing, but, a true parent finds a way, even with disappointment. But that doesn't mean you can't chat about it.
Redditor u/fkac3080 wanted to let some parents vent by asking.... Parents of Reddit, why are you disappointed in your adult child?
Idiot!
GiphyHe got a 200,000 inheritance when is father passed away two years ago, he is broke now. TheWalrusSlapper
All you can do....
My son is 25 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at around 15 years old (maybe younger). After he became too old and too big for me to manage his meds he refused to take them and his life has been a roller coaster of disasters ever since. Between prison time (juvie and adult), bad decisions, suicidal ideation, drug use, fathering 2 children he doesn't see (same mom) and insisting on making up reasons to not speak to ME I'm done, because honestly there's nothing I can do for him. At this point I'm just waiting to get a phone call on where I need to go to identify the body. Reddit
You're Out!
He's 23, and mean as hell to everyone including his gf and their kids. He tells her things like "that's why nobody wants you" to her and to me he says things like "my kids don't even like you" (they are damn babies how do they know who they like yet, did they tell him and they can't even talk ) ... I had to cut him out of my life because the hurt he caused me was unreal and I was having issues in my daily life over it. jlu742069
Let me Tell You...
Oof, perfect timing. She's currently home for the summer and heads back to college in a few days. I feel bad for saying this, but I'm honestly ashamed that she's still enrolled there. This will be her 5th semester there, but she was supposed to have failed all her classes her 2nd semester. And 3rd. And 4th. Every semester, she skips class and parties, not even attempting her school work. Then when the school goes to kick her out, she appeals the decision and somehow, I honestly have no idea how, gets her professors to bump her grades just high enough for her to pass and continue on another semester. She lost all of her scholarships and grants already.
Initially, I was paying whatever tuition costs were leftover, and then was paying 75% of tuition and she got student loans for the rest. She was home for break last semester and I overheard her on the phone bragging to one of her friends about how she doesn't do any work because all she has to do is file an appeal to pass her classes. I was appalled and now that I know that, I'm not paying a dime.
I just don't understand why she does it or if I'm somehow responsible for causing this behavior as her father. But, we were poor when she was younger and even now, we're maybe lower middle class. She wasn't spoiled and saw how hard I worked to provide for her. We had an agreement when she turned 16 that if she wanted a car, she was responsible for paying for gas. She got a part time job and so I got her a used car.
My thought was that working to earn gas money would teach her firsthand the value of a dollar. That was the best way I could think of to teach her and give her some real life experience. I don't know if it didn't stick or what, but she seems perfectly content top keep up the routine and get a degree handed to her.
I worked for everything I have, and everything she has. Her college fund was a result of me squirreling away every dime I could for 10 years. She's currently pissed at me for it, but I will not continue to use this money to literally buy her a degree. I've begrudgingly decided to take a step back and let her handle her education on her own. im_with_cthulhu
LIAR!!
GiphyPathological liar. 33 years old and he would rather walk 10 miles to tell a lie than to stand still and tell the truth.
His ex wives all found out the same thing. vaylon1701
How do I activate?
I'm not disappointed in my 18-year old, but I sure wish I knew how to activate him. He graduated in May, has no desire to go to college and no real aspirations at all. He's pretty much been in his room on his phone since. He's struggled for many years with anxiety, which we're treating, and I know a lot of things are difficult for him, but man, I wish I knew how to get him excited about something - anything - whether it's a job or a hobby or a plan or whatever. FaustusRedux
Fear.
He's 20 and refuses to go to college or get a job. He lives with his mom, so all I can do is talk to him about it. I fear for his future, like, we, his parents, aren't immortal and he doesn't seem to have self-preservation skills. PansOnFire
The Tough Road.
I'm disappointed in my son because he is too much like me. He's a solid introvert who is afraid to ask for help and doesn't want to bother people -- even with very legitimate requests. He is an expert procrastinator.
I remember being that age and being soooo much like that. I'm not sure how I got through university, but I've been a successful engineer for 30 years so I've still got a lot of hope for him.
Also, both my kids vape/smoke. We've been anti-smokers for all our adult lives and I'm sad to see them choose to do something negative like that. They both "want to quit" but its a tough road. mks113
The Slacker.
My son is 24 and, by some standards, a disappointment. He has a degree and no job. He struggles with motivation, and his sleep patterns are terrible. I don't think he has a plan to move forward with his life.
Earlier in the year, my husband (his dad) was diagnosed with cancer.
I thank God every day for my "slacker" son. He is so kind. Every time he makes dinner "because I know you must be tired" or comes and gives me a hug when I get home from work makes it possible for me to keep going. PanickedPoodle
Be Better.
GiphyFollowing this thread to see what I can do to be a better child to my parents while I still have the chance. ParanoidCrow
It is killing us.
He is 24 years old and has a full blow meth addiction that started in the last 6 months.
He was fired from the job he got at 18 because he was high and manic (sidebar his manager was the one that introduced him to meth). Since then he has dedicated his time to either finding or using meth. He has been arrested 3 times spent 30 days in jail and continues to use even though he is on probation.
He is angry because we will not allow him to live with us while he is using. He is now homeless.
He broke into our house and stole some of his father's sports memorabilia to support his habit. Some of it is not replaceable and very sentimental.
He is a shell of the human we knew 6 months ago both figurative and literally. He can not hold a normal conversation and is constantly twitching
We have offered to get him help but he is convinced that the drugs have set him free and we all are living in a delusional world where we have to work and conform to society.
It is killing us.
On the other hand our daughter (23) just graduated college in June with a paralegal degree and has decided to go to law school. She is afraid to celebrate her success because she doesn't want to make him feel bad or upset him. But forget him for taking that away from her. Lazy_Exorcist
42 and Rough.
He's 42, lives with his dad, is 6 years into a 2 year degree, and has gone through 4 decent cars in the last 6 months. His dad bought the cars and he trashed them. He's also threatened physical abuse to his dad. He disowned his older sister over a political argument on Facebook. She said I'm leaving this discussion before we say things we'll regret, and he tried to forbid it saying if she left she was disrespecting him and was no longer related to him. fabricnut85
Don't Give Up!
No drive, no ambition, and no work ethic worth a damn. He's 25, he peaked in 6th grade. basura_trash
This was me for 2 years. I was content with my boring and underpaid job and wasting time away smoking weed. I had a moment of catharsis so to speak about 2 months ago. Since then, I've studied hard to gain my teaching certificate, applied and was accepted into a teaching placement program, started reading books again, and ditched the pot for the most part. Not sure if this helps, but if I could do it, so can your son! DanielSnipeCelly
Double-whammy!
GiphyMy ex husband was the son that my parents wanted their actual son to be. So they're pissed that my brother isn't like him and they're pissed that I divorced him. Double-whammy. Never mind that we just fundamentally did not work as a couple: they basically see it as me stealing away their chance at having The Perfect Child in a son-in-law. Oh well! Much_Difference
31 & Lost....
He is 31 and has been a hard-core addict (meth, heroin) since age 15. He has put us through hell. I'm disappointed and we are estranged but he is still my son and I love him. Zen_Gaian
Deadbeat Dad.
He's a dead beat dad for his first daughter (which means I can't see my first granddaugther anymore), has been in and out of jail since the age of 11, is a multiple offense convicted felon as an adult, who will steal from anyone (myself and his mother included), and has threatened to have most of his family members killed.
He is known to carry (stolen) firearms, and frequently uses his brothers name to try to avoid being caught. He's a drug addict, living with a drug addicted girl, and they have now had two more children together, both of whom suffer from the effects of their parents drug addictions (fetal drug syndrome). Kardolf
Paging Dr. Phil....
GiphyShe has not become a multimillionaire and decided to fund my retirement. But she's only just turned 18. I give her a year or two to sort it out. PonFarJarJar
Her age is no excuse. The Cash Me Outside girl is already a millionaire and she's only 16. Get your daughter to Dr. Phil, stat! TheWickAndReed
"sometimes we just have to get on with it..."
My mum's disappointed that I left a £33,000 a year job for a £28,000 job because I had two mental breakdowns, even though everything is now perfect.
"sometimes we just have to get on with it..." kofisbootyos
'the promised child'
GiphyI'm still not sure what my parents think of me. I was 'the promised child' who got 99th percentile on aptitude tests in kindergarten, aced tests, memorized the presidents by age 4(at my dad's insistence), and ended up just blundering my way through school because what started as a bad habit of not doing homework eventually amalgamated into depression-driven apathy about education.
I dropped out of college and I've spent more of my time in therapy learning how to be a good person and be happy, which does make my mom happy, but I can feel my entire extended family's disappointment in me that I chose to work an 8-5 job and just live in an apartment with my cat. On the bright side, I'm more confident in my life choices than I ever have been and wouldn't trade the positive mindset I've been working so hard on for any amount of work discipline. Spazznax
The Mess She's Made....
Ohh good timing. I have to be semi vague but hopefully you get the gist My middle daughter is 19 but we've had issues her entire life I strongly suspect BPD narcissism
Currently her infant child has been removed from her care by CPS for multiple reasons notably her erratic behavior she showed and continues to show and also heavy heavy marijuana use. We suspect other drugs at play but have zero proof.
Instead of cooperating to get her child back she has fought kicking and screaming every step of the way making it much harder than necessary. At the same time blaming her mother and vilifying her to the point that she has lied to CPS in an attempt to have them remove her 4 year old sister from her mothers care. Calling old friends and family giving them a hugely false story in an attempt to alienate her mother and have zero friends and help. It's a giant mess she's created and refuses to take any blame or acknowledge that she's the issue at all. nocomment101
The ones that have come to fruition but caused an uproar were mentioned when Redditor Future-Game asked:
"What is the most controversial TV shows of all time?"
Shows pushing the envelope were so risqué. Some aged well over time. Others didn't.
Taboo Topics
"I don't know about all time but the time it aired here in Canada, the original Degrassi High series. They covered so many topics that weren't really covered on mainstream shows back then. Even still somewhat taboo today. And everyone my age watched it and talked about it the next day."
– YEGMusic43
Outing Ellen
"When Ellen Degeneres's character came out as gay on her sitcom, there was a f'king firestorm."
– seanofkelley
Tame Drama
"Believe it or not the comedy SOAP was highly controversial when it premiered in the late 70s. It's done by the same people who did GOLDEN GIRLS. SOAP is so tame by today's standards a ten year old could watch it."
– ComedianRepulsive955
Chappelle's Show.
"I like South Park as an answer, but if we are talking about pushing boundaries, Chappelle's show at least deserves a mention. The Black, White Supremacist alone was wild to see on TV, and it was the first episode of the show to air."
– WaKa_
Reality bites. So did these reality competition shows.
Trash Talk Show
"Jerry springer, what a sh*t show."
– Jok3r609
When Looks Are Everything
"The Swan - a show about generally average, everyday women with low self esteem (due to a variety of factors), receiving plastic surgery and whole makeovers. Every episode would feature two ladies and a "winner" would be decided between them. At the end of the season, all of the winners would be put in a pageant to compete and see who would be dubbed 'The Swan'"
– DungeonFam30
Questionably Racist
"Takeshi's Castle / MXC wasn't exactly controversial at the time, but the production of that show seems awfully exploitative by today's standards (and for the English dub, horribly stereotypical and downright racist at times). We've since watered it down severely with versions like Wipeout, but the real ones know what the lineage of shows like that is."
– plasma_dan
Ultimate Exploitation Of Privacy
"Big Brother. How about we mix the worst people with the most exploitative form of entertainment whilst also casually normalising invasion of privacy."
– JFSOCC
Just because it was family friendly didn't mean everyone approved.
Representation Matters
"Sesame Street - When this show debuted in 1969, TV channels in the southern US refused to air it because it’s racially mixed group of children playing together was too controversial."
– virago72
Beavis And Butt-Head
"Surprised I haven't seen Beavis and Butt-Head on this list yet. When it came out everyone was freaking out."
– l06ic
Swearing
"Southpark, we went from outrage at Bart saying "eat my shorts" to Cartman feeding children their parents."
"I mean swearing on TV was less prominent , then Southpark pushed that forward quickly as well, all of a sudden "A**" and "Bullsh*t" were on standard TV."
– nonaestet
Every now and then a show comes out and sends audiences clutching their pearls.
But sometimes, even an episode from a relatively tame TV show can send viewers reeling with topical moments.
Examples of this include the much-hyped same-sex kiss on Melrose Place in the 90s that was ultimately edited to imply the act and the One Tree Hill arc that explored school shootings–which was considered daring and admirable at the time for addressing a malaise that continues plaguing the US today.
"Anyone here who decided to leave their job on the first day? What made you decide to run right away?"
Questionable Ethics
"They wanted us to make our first sales to friends and family members."
"F*ck that."
"If your first option is for me to make money off the people I care about most, there's really nowhere to go but down (morally)."- Mxysptlik
Thrown Into The Deep End
"They sent me to a room to do a bunch of on-boarding paperwork and those incredibly dull orientation videos companies love so much."
"Less than 10 minutes into it the manager comes in and tells me they need to cover the sales floor immediately because I was the only person for the department that day."
"No training, no computer logins, no idea where anything in the building was or who any of the dozens of other people wandering around were or even what was really expected of me."
"Just go and solo a department that usually had between five and eight staff at any time."
"I gave it a shot for like 45 minutes, and realized the whole place was staffed by miserable entitled f*cks who went out of their way to avoid work."
"I just walked out without saying anything."- SlothOfDoom
Being More Knowledgable Than Your Bosses
"I'm a fish hobbyist and I got a job in the fish department at PetCo."
"On my first day they wanted me to take out all the rocks (substrate) from each tank, scrub them and put them back in the tanks, one tank at a time."
"Moving substrate releases bad bacteria and can get the fish sick or kill them."
"I explained this to them and said that it was best to just do a water change for 20% of each tank."
"They said, basically, sorry this is what corporate says and you have to do it."
"I was like, 'Okay, I'll do it after lunch'."
"I never came back from lunch."- adura_grounded
Under The Sea GIF by Super SimpleGiphyNot Honoring Their Contract
"They lowered the rate from what was agreed upon and became upset when I spoke up about it."- Wonderful-Job3514
Mis-Management
"Wendy’s."
"There was an assistant manager whose only job seemed to be pacing around behind us during lunch rushes, repeating in a dull monotone, 'c’mon, let’s make those burgers. C’mon, let’s go faster, make those burgers'.”
"When I didn’t make burgers fast enough because my only training consisted of watching a 30-minute video, the manager sneered, 'why don’t you just go wash dishes, then? You CAN wash dishes, can’t you?'"
"That’s when I walked off the job."- LanceGannon
And You Thought YOUR Boss Was Horrible...
"I didn't even last a full shift."
"It was Pizza delivery."
"It was the early 90s; I was 20 M[ale]."
"My first shift was in torrential rain, driving a 1967 VW Beetle (with a flat windscreen)."
"Two orders required me to go back because the pizzas weren't the ones ordered."
"Then I arrived back to see that one of the other drivers had been shot in the leg with an air-rifle by Ricky the Shift-Manager.
I started at noon."
"Quit at 8.30pm."
"Can't remember if I was ever paid; didn't care."- EvilBosch
anna faris pizza GIF by Overboard MovieGiphyKnowing Their Self-Worth
"I was a car mechanic fresh out of school, hit up a local shop that hired."
"Their working conditions were trash, I bailed after the first day."
"Second one wasn't much better, in fact it was far worse, but I saw more potential in the work and needed the experience."
"It was a privately owned bus company that needed a mechanic to service their sh*t."
"It was the middle of winter and the garage had no heat, it was badly equipped, no car jacks so laying on the cold ground, etc."
"Also as it turned out, the fleet consisted of brand new buses that had to be serviced at the dealership to maintain the warranty, so I had no work whatsoever."
"Instead the guy wanted me to do basic maintenance work around the HQ."
"Mind you it was so cold outside that in 10 minutes I couldn't feel my fingers and if I went inside the main building to heat up, he complained that I wasn't working."
"Caught pneumonia after just 3 days, went back a week later when I was feeling better and quit."
"Third time was the charm."- DangerousTrashCan
And Yet, They Don't See A Problem?
"We hired someone to work at a freezer warehouse and he only showed up for one shift."
"He seemed ecstatic about the pay (20/hr for basic material handling, picklines, etc) but seemed to realize that humans hate being treated like machines and that's simply not worth it so we never saw him again."
"He was not the only one."
"My favorite time is when my manager hired 18 new people because he fully expected 80% of them to flake and not show the next day."
"Sure enough, only 3 even showed up."- ASaltyBiscuit
season 8 warehouse GIFGiphyDid They Actually Think They'd Get Away With It?!?
"Was supposed to be an office job, straight salary."
"Got there the first day and it turned out to be door to door sales, commission only."
"Not even people who had expressed interest."
"Just literally cold calling but in person at their door instead of on the phone."
"Didn't even stay to hear the end of their explanation of how really if you think about it this is the job they advertised and interviewed me for, just better because..."
"I don't know, some bullsh*t, as I said, I had left by then."- Zer0Summoner
Not Once, But Twice
"I actually did this twice."
"The first time was because I was a college student and needed a job to pay rent."
"Got a job working in a new call center that had opened up in my home town."
"It was awful.""The atmosphere was toxic, the boss was a horrific a**hole, and there were all sorts of shitty 'metrics' and goals, etc. you had to reach."
"I just never went back after the first day."
"Called them the next morning and told them it wasn't for me."
"The second time was a deal where I interviewed for a job that I was pretty excited about where I was going to be leading a team dealing with advocating for some issues in international politics."
"I was super excited."
"The interviews I had were done in a cafe."
"They sent me the address of the office and I arrived for my first day and it was some decrepit, barely standing office with the most outdated computers and office equipment."
"The 'team' I was going to be leading had been referred to as 'a small team' in the job interviews."
"In reality it was one lady who didn't speak either of the languages I speak."- mejok
Third Time Definitely Wasn't The Charm
"$20 for parking wasn't included in for being an employee."
"This was when min wage was 11.50.so you work 2 hour and pay your employer."
"F*ck that."
"Another place I worked open kitchen caught fire."
"All the customers could see this."
"They didn't make anyone leave."
"They kept putting food out!"
"They expected me to clean up their now burnt kitchen."
"Nope nope nope."
"Another place had defrosted chicken by leaving it outside of the fridge over night."
"On the floor."
"During the summer."
"Rats scurried away from it when we turned on the light."
"Called the safety department on that one."- Elfere
Inconsistent Would Be An Understatement
"Slowly started changing the terms of employment during the day."
"Started off '10 hour days 5 days a week £8/hour'."
"Shifted to 'sometimes you have to work weekends too'."
"Then 'actually it's crunch season right now so we're going to expect you to work Saturday and Sunday this week."
"Then 'actually we'll need you to stay Saturday and Sunday most weeks'."
"Then 'You'll be working Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future'."
"Then 'We'll need you to stay a few hours after work today'."
"Then 'Actually you'll be working 12-14 hours a day 7 days a week for the next 6 months'."
"Yeah nope."- NewRoundEre
Bye Bitch Get Out Of My Face GIF by Becky GGiphyWe've all had jobs we've hated, which we muddle through just for the money.
However, one's self-worth is always more important than a paycheck.
And when you notice your self-worth or safety being threatened, always best to act on it immediately.
