Say Excuse Me. 

To get a newborn to burp:

Sit them on your knee, holding them under their armpits, and move their upper bodies in a circle several times. Like a reverse hula move I guess.

I learned it from a neonatal nurse, and it's almost infallible. So much faster and more reliable than regular burping. ohno_not_another_one

And We're Off! 

When mine were younger, say, three or four, and it was close to time to stop playing at the park or in the pool, I always gave them plenty of warning using a concrete timeline that they could understand. Instead of saying "we're leaving soon" or "five more minutes," I would tell them something like "ok, let me see you jump in the pool. Seven more jumps and we're leaving." Sometimes the number was higher, but never less than five. Less than five was always met with "come on, just one more!!" Which usually wasn't allowed. Seven or more was always such a big number that they seemed to get their fill and were ready to go when it was time. sardineclub

My Wife.. the Genius. .

When my kids were little my wife worked at a health club and I would take the kids swimming in the evening. We'd always pack their PJs for their clothes they'd change into after swimming. That way, they got out of the pool, showered, and changed in to pajamas. They didn't always go to bed right when we got home, but they were always ready for bed when we got home.

It was my wife's idea. couchjitsu

Not IHOP!

Denny's is where I teach them restaurant etiquette. Zero pressure & light on the wallet! magicmoonflower

A Few Basics.... 

Learn to say thank you and I'm sorry to them. It makes you closer and helps your relationship with them no matter what age.

Experiences are better than things. Waking up before them makes the day a lot easier.

Find a way to see them when you're driving. kjfrog

Snack Time. 

If you have a hard time getting them to eat their vegetables give them before the dinner because that's when they are hungry and will eat almost anything, give them some carrots and cucumbers in a glass which is a great snack. marcusguthe

The Long Goal 

The best advice I ever received as a parent... "It's all about the long game. Work really hard now to mold them into decent and intelligent little people and you can worry less as they turn into more responsible, respectful teens/young adults." It's a way to ensure quieter years later. CutLikeAPotato

The Color Scheme....

Not a parent, but a daycare worker, and I learned this through reddit: If a child is having a meltdown, ask what color their shoes/shirts/pants/whatever clothing their wearing are. This distracts the child long enough to stop them in the midst of their meltdown because they haven't thought about what they're wearing. I used this trick twice on a kid today who was just having a terrible day. Calmed them right down. GayMaryPoppins

Reddit Knows... 

Saw one on reddit where if you want to enjoy some time undisturbed tell your kids that you're taking a nap and when you wake up all of you are going to do chores together. They'll want to let you sleep as long as possible to avoid doing housework, so they'll leave you alone to actually nap or do other things like read. -eDgAR-

Use Your Words.... 

Be mindful of how you phrase questions

Example: Instead of "Do you want a hotdog for supper?" ask "What do you want on your hotdog?"

If your kid's a d**k, it won't matter. But it will help it most situations. DiceMorgansGhost

Where am I?

I had 3 kids very close in age. At one point I assigned them each a day of the week (they each got two and Sunday was the leftover) Whatever the question was, the answer was whose day is it. Who gets to go first? Who gets to ride in the front? Who has to take their bath first? I saved so many arguments with this. Governmentman43

Liar, Liar....

I told my kid her ears turn red when she tells a lie, now she covers her ears when she lies. She is almost 7 and it still works. Eissbein

The List.

When your kid sees something they want like a toy or game and you can't/don't want to buy it tell them to "put it on the list."

If they're the type of kid that will follow through then you have a handy list for Christmas or birthdays. If not, then they'll forget about it.

Helps avoid arguments in the store because you aren't really saying no. Sarita_Maria

100% In! 

If you threaten a consequence, follow through 100% of the time. Kids will test boundaries at every age, you just have to make it appropriate for their age group.

"If you throw sand again we are leaving the beach" - you must leave the beach

"If you don't clean your room no screen time tomorrow" - no screen time.

The key is to make the consequences not impact you to the point that you don't want to follow through since it will ruin your day too. A hard line to toe, but boy do boundaries and trust work. AnatasiaBeaverhausen

It's Bedtime! 

Let your baby watch you fall asleep.

If it's their bedtime, don't play on your phone or read a book. They are following your lead. So be boring, close your eyes, and be still and quiet, and they will learn to, too. _LiterallyAnybody_

Glass Birds. 

No a parent, but when I was a child my mom would hide her 4 glass birds (little sculptures she had) around the house. My sister and I had to look for them. We had to be very careful while looking so we didn't break them. If we broke one, we lost. If we left drawers/door/cabinets open, we lost. You would think that we could tie and each find two birds, but it never happened. We would go to mom when we gave up, and she would hide them all over again.

It wasn't until I was an adult did I realize that she never hid a fourth bird. But boy did we spend a looong time looking. 11never

Don't Drown. 

If they are cranky, put them in water.

I have teenagers, this is still the method that I use. Even having them wash their hands or face does wonders.

To be fair, I do it with my husband too. So really, I guess it's just works for humans. sweetcarolinekisses

The Slumber Test. 

My kids didn't understand the difference between different days. For example- we'll go to the store in 3 days. So my husband started calling it 'sleeps.' Now we say "we'll go to the store in 3 sleeps."

Also, offer a choice. Do you want to put your shoes on first or brush your hair first? It short circuits their tendency to fight you and makes them feel like they're making their own decisions, which they are. Make sure the options listed are ones you're okay with though. Thatswhatthatdoes

In the Nude.

If you have a toddler who likes to get naked when they're supposed to be sleeping you can cut the feet off of footie pajamas and put them on them backwards (with the zipper on their back) and then they won't be able to get them off. Rromagar

Do You Hear What I Hear?

My wife and I came up with a short unique whistle that both kids knew meant come here to us. Works in malls, water parks or just to come in and clean up for dinner. Fellow parents were amazed by this. Teach them early. Biff_Bufflington

REDDIT