In the early days of parenting, kids are perfect. You have a child who can do no wrong for those first couple of years. Broken watch? That's fine. Shattered dishes? We'll more buy, no problem. Punched another kid at the park so hard they broke their nose? Well, there we have a problem. Your opinion of your child will change at some point but all you can hope for is that it doesn't happen as it did with the following parents.
Reddit user, u/majesticat81, wanted to hear from parents firsthand when they asked:
Handling Things Like An Adult
the simpsons GIFGiphyMy daughter, the baby, the princess, the quiet one (of 4) who seemed, although very smart, like she was going to need a little more help than the rest to get off the ground... I texted her when she got home from school during the fall of her junior year and asked what she was up to, and she said, "havin a snack. just filled out the FAFSA."
!!!! OK then. I guess you're good.
How Quickly They Change
This is a bit hard to describe. When my first child was young (under 1 year old) I made a face at him. He made the face back at me. IT BLEW MY MIND.
My thought process was along the lines of... He sees me and knows that is my face AND he knows he has a face AND without seeing it he is contorting the muscles in his face to mimic my face BUT he can't see his own face!!
Anyway, now he plays xbox a lot. But that was the first time I realized he was an intelligent being.
Break Their Limits, But Don't Overestimate Them
My daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. Pretty severe, and it affected a lot of things at the beginning. She had her first surgery one week shy of five months old. She recovered so quickly from that first surgery that her doctors were astounded, her nurses said they've never seen someone go home so quickly after the operation she had. She started eating immediately, really just wanted the heck out of there. We learned that day that we did not ever need to doubt her strength.
Six months later, she had her second surgery. It was a lot rougher on her. It took her a couple days to be able to eat, and she laid at home just whining for a couple of days. After her amazing bounce back from the first surgery, we were so surprised. We learned that time that while we could never doubt her strength, we also could never expect her to be anything more than human.
A 3-Year Old Aware Of Self-Care
My 3yo recently told me, mid cough, to worry about myself.
All I was doing was asking if she was ok.
The Language On This One...
The Simpsons Reaction GIFGiphyI am a father of 2 beautiful children. My son is my biological child, and my daughter is my step child. I first met my daughter when she was a year and a half old. Her first words to me were " who the f-ck are you?" Our relationship was always very rocky. Things happened with the real dad that super f-cked her up. I can't go into details, but it made life crazy for a long time.
She recently apologized to me for being difficult, because she had this idea of how to treat a step parent that her dad taught her. I recently gave her away to her husband and couldn't be prouder of her. I just wish our relationship was better through her childhood.
Well, That's Nice, But Also, What A Little Jerk
My son was a certifiable little sh-t. I love him but for a good long while he was a deep sighing, eye-rolling, obstinate, obnoxious little weasel. At the early teenage where he barely spoke to his father or I, I was pleasantly surprised to learn he was spending a lot of time with close neighbors of ours, an older couple with an empty nest who went to our church.
That little jerk went out and formed a friendship with the nicest people on the block all by himself. He even helped them with chores! I couldn't get the little jerk to clean his room under threat of death and he's out there carrying out another woman's trash! I was never so pleased or proud.
Lied So Casually
I was playing hide and seek with my youngest Daughter recently. My Wife was counting and the two of us ran off into the house to hide. We both hid in her room and for the life of her, my Wife couldn't find me. She did find our Daughter though. She asked her where I was. Innocently she said, "I don't know, Mommy. Let's go find him!" Took her hand and led my Wife away. I could hear her running [interference] the entire time, reassuring her Mom that she didn't know where I was, and tried to innocently redirect her from double checking her room.
When she did go back to her room and find me, my Daughter let out a [surprisingly] devious laugh and ran to me, gave me a high five and said, "Yea, Dad! I didn't rat you out! Did you see how I lead her away!?!"
We all laughed, but now we know we're going to have to really keep an eye on her. She's way too sneaky and way too good of a liar for a four year old.
Proud, And A Little Sad.
homer simpson hug GIFGiphyMy daughter was always "the quiet one" and "the shy one" and "we've got to get her out of her shell" "she gets intimidated to easily".
When she was 4 we moved an hour away, she changed locations for 4yo kinder (inb4 comments, in Australia) near the end of the school year so she went into a class where friendship groups were already established, she buddied up with a little girl who no one played with, for relevance to this story, this girl has a large birthmark on her face.
Within two weeks I was called into the teacher's office because "her behaviour was unacceptable". Turns out this boy (who over the year has been repeatedly picking on her friend) told her friend "I think you have the ugliest face in the world" and my daughter replied "No one cares what you think, you're not important".
The teacher wasnt overly impressed with me because my response was a very flat "But no one should care what he thinks about someone else's face" , but talking with her about it afterwards it was the point where I realised that she wasn't intimidated, she was just a listener, she told me everything this boy has said to her friend in two weeks, she took it all in, and she reacted in a way that we felt was actually appropriate.
As she's gotten older it's become more obvious that that's the case with her, she picks up on things very fast because she's always listening and taking everything in, she's not shy or intimidated.
Strong for the kids
Having a panic attack in front of my kids changed my idea of "being strong for the kids," or not letting your kids see you as anything but an authority figure. For some reason my husband is convinced we should always be happy in front of the kids, never let them see you struggle, never let them see you sick. If you're unhappy about something, suck it up and smile, that way they don't know you're upset. He always tells me to go to a different room if I'm having anxiety, mind you, this line of thinking has left me alone on many occasions during times that one should not be alone, such as during labor and childbirth.
I suffer from pretty intense anxiety, I assume it's partly hormonal and due to medical issues, and I can usually put on a neutral face and get on with whatever I'm doing while quietly panicking. He has no understanding of anxiety although I do think he suffers from it as well, in his own way. Anyway, I had a complete meltdown one day and both of my kids were so gentle, and kind. They immediately stopped what they were doing and rushed to my side, hands on my back, and told me that they would be quiet so that I could relax. It made me realize that they aren't just blobs that always need to be taken care of; they're also little people who recognize the pain and suffering in the world and that their first reaction is that of empathy.
As a child of parents that did that, I suggest you be real in front of your kids. Let the whole world in, good or bad.
My parents tried to maintain a facade of pleasantness in front of us. The principle is nice, I guess, but it backfires in the long run.
We could always tell when stuff was wrong. The anxiety creeps in and poisons the atmosphere. Bad times in our family were a slightly nightmarish time of fixed smiles and tension that couldn't be resolved because our family culture didn't allow us to talk about our feelings.
And it fed into us too. We learned that pain wasn't allowed, and kept our bad times to ourselves. It's something I'm still having to work on in my 30's.
My 3yo recently told me, mid cough, to worry about myself. All I was doing was asking if she was ok.
Maybe a different answer than what you were looking for, but I started out only wanting two kids. Wife wanted to have another, and I eventually agreed, but I wasn't super excited about it. My career had taken off, and I wasn't looking forward to all of the work that it takes to raise a baby/toddler/child.
That kid is the kindest, most loving person I have ever had the pleasure to meet. My other two kids are great in their own ways, and I know all three will be successful in their lives, but #3 has taught all of us a little more compassion and kindness.
This is my experience too! I have 3 boys, all loving, sweet, affectionate, but my 3rd is beyond. He is now 8 years old, but has always been the sweets, kindest, most loving snuggle bug. Even when he was born, they placed him on my chest and he wiggled his way up until he was buried in my neck where he stayed. He is happy, empathetic, caring, thoughtful, joyful, funny, magnetic and generous. He is the most loving human being I know.
Last year around this time, I was really struggling to figure out whether or not to keep trying to make it work with my partner, keep going to couples counseling, etc, or just call it & start the process of moving out. We all went to IKEA one evening & while our daughter (she'd just turned 7 at the time) was in Smaland (the on-site child care), we picked up some stuff for her for Christmas.
That night she came upstairs to talk to me before bed. We hadn't stashed the bag with her gifts in it well enough & she got a little peek inside. My partner (now ex) started yelling at her for snooping. Our daughter replied, "I didn't see anything! & it was all very forgettable anyway! It's okay!" My ex was like, "Wow, maybe I should just return it all then, if it's so 'forgettable'. That's really insulting." They went back & forth like this (neither of them can let the other have the last word) until I separated them & got everyone cooled off & into bed.
My ex was already at work the next morning & I was getting our daughter ready for school. She brought up the bag of gifts again & was like, "It's okay! It was forgettable!" I realized that she just meant that she'd try to forget what she saw & act surprised at Christmas, she wasn't insulting the gifts. My daughter has always had a vocabulary that kind of outstripped her ability to use it accurately, & this is FAR from the first time that she used a big word in slightly the wrong way & caused big miscommunications with her other parent. At this point, I was so used to translating that I just did it in my head automatically.
So I told her, "Okay, I understand what you're saying & I appreciate you making that effort. You just need to be careful about the words you use with your other mom. She can be kind of quick to take things personally, so it's important to stop & think carefully about the words you're using with her. Don't call the gifts 'forgettable' in front of her again."
My kiddo was like, "It must be hard to be that way. You get your feelings hurt a lot when they don't need to be hurt." I was like, "Yeah, that's true. That's a very thoughtful way of looking at it."
Then she said, "Do you have to be careful with the words you use?" I was like, "Yeah, but I've had a lot of practice, I'm used to it." She said, "It must be hard to be in a relationship with someone like that."
I was dumbfounded. It WAS hard to be in a relationship with someone like that. It was killing me. It was so hard to communicate with her about anything because my words would be twisted & misinterpreted, & I was exhausted all the time & just not talking about a million tiny things that were making me crazy because I knew they'd devolve into fights & did I really want to have a fight about a million tiny things? & then I realized that I was coaching my child, my FIRST GRADER, on choosing her words so as to not incur the wrath of a f**king adult, & I was like, WHAT am I DOING?!??!? When my ex got home from work that night, I told her it was over.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.