In the early days of parenting, kids are perfect. You have a child who can do no wrong for those first couple of years. Broken watch? That's fine. Shattered dishes? We'll more buy, no problem. Punched another kid at the park so hard they broke their nose? Well, there we have a problem. Your opinion of your child will change at some point but all you can hope for is that it doesn't happen as it did with the following parents.
Reddit user, u/majesticat81, wanted to hear from parents firsthand when they asked:
Handling Things Like An Adult
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My daughter, the baby, the princess, the quiet one (of 4) who seemed, although very smart, like she was going to need a little more help than the rest to get off the ground... I texted her when she got home from school during the fall of her junior year and asked what she was up to, and she said, "havin a snack. just filled out the FAFSA."
!!!! OK then. I guess you're good.
How Quickly They Change
This is a bit hard to describe. When my first child was young (under 1 year old) I made a face at him. He made the face back at me. IT BLEW MY MIND.
My thought process was along the lines of... He sees me and knows that is my face AND he knows he has a face AND without seeing it he is contorting the muscles in his face to mimic my face BUT he can't see his own face!!
Anyway, now he plays xbox a lot. But that was the first time I realized he was an intelligent being.
Break Their Limits, But Don't Overestimate Them
My daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. Pretty severe, and it affected a lot of things at the beginning. She had her first surgery one week shy of five months old. She recovered so quickly from that first surgery that her doctors were astounded, her nurses said they've never seen someone go home so quickly after the operation she had. She started eating immediately, really just wanted the heck out of there. We learned that day that we did not ever need to doubt her strength.
Six months later, she had her second surgery. It was a lot rougher on her. It took her a couple days to be able to eat, and she laid at home just whining for a couple of days. After her amazing bounce back from the first surgery, we were so surprised. We learned that time that while we could never doubt her strength, we also could never expect her to be anything more than human.
A 3-Year Old Aware Of Self-Care
My 3yo recently told me, mid cough, to worry about myself.
All I was doing was asking if she was ok.
The Language On This One...
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I am a father of 2 beautiful children. My son is my biological child, and my daughter is my step child. I first met my daughter when she was a year and a half old. Her first words to me were " who the f-ck are you?" Our relationship was always very rocky. Things happened with the real dad that super f-cked her up. I can't go into details, but it made life crazy for a long time.
She recently apologized to me for being difficult, because she had this idea of how to treat a step parent that her dad taught her. I recently gave her away to her husband and couldn't be prouder of her. I just wish our relationship was better through her childhood.
Well, That's Nice, But Also, What A Little Jerk
My son was a certifiable little sh-t. I love him but for a good long while he was a deep sighing, eye-rolling, obstinate, obnoxious little weasel. At the early teenage where he barely spoke to his father or I, I was pleasantly surprised to learn he was spending a lot of time with close neighbors of ours, an older couple with an empty nest who went to our church.
That little jerk went out and formed a friendship with the nicest people on the block all by himself. He even helped them with chores! I couldn't get the little jerk to clean his room under threat of death and he's out there carrying out another woman's trash! I was never so pleased or proud.
Lied So Casually
I was playing hide and seek with my youngest Daughter recently. My Wife was counting and the two of us ran off into the house to hide. We both hid in her room and for the life of her, my Wife couldn't find me. She did find our Daughter though. She asked her where I was. Innocently she said, "I don't know, Mommy. Let's go find him!" Took her hand and led my Wife away. I could hear her running [interference] the entire time, reassuring her Mom that she didn't know where I was, and tried to innocently redirect her from double checking her room.
When she did go back to her room and find me, my Daughter let out a [surprisingly] devious laugh and ran to me, gave me a high five and said, "Yea, Dad! I didn't rat you out! Did you see how I lead her away!?!"
We all laughed, but now we know we're going to have to really keep an eye on her. She's way too sneaky and way too good of a liar for a four year old.
Proud, And A Little Sad.
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My daughter was always "the quiet one" and "the shy one" and "we've got to get her out of her shell" "she gets intimidated to easily".
When she was 4 we moved an hour away, she changed locations for 4yo kinder (inb4 comments, in Australia) near the end of the school year so she went into a class where friendship groups were already established, she buddied up with a little girl who no one played with, for relevance to this story, this girl has a large birthmark on her face.
Within two weeks I was called into the teacher's office because "her behaviour was unacceptable". Turns out this boy (who over the year has been repeatedly picking on her friend) told her friend "I think you have the ugliest face in the world" and my daughter replied "No one cares what you think, you're not important".
The teacher wasnt overly impressed with me because my response was a very flat "But no one should care what he thinks about someone else's face" , but talking with her about it afterwards it was the point where I realised that she wasn't intimidated, she was just a listener, she told me everything this boy has said to her friend in two weeks, she took it all in, and she reacted in a way that we felt was actually appropriate.
As she's gotten older it's become more obvious that that's the case with her, she picks up on things very fast because she's always listening and taking everything in, she's not shy or intimidated.
Strong for the kids
Having a panic attack in front of my kids changed my idea of "being strong for the kids," or not letting your kids see you as anything but an authority figure. For some reason my husband is convinced we should always be happy in front of the kids, never let them see you struggle, never let them see you sick. If you're unhappy about something, suck it up and smile, that way they don't know you're upset. He always tells me to go to a different room if I'm having anxiety, mind you, this line of thinking has left me alone on many occasions during times that one should not be alone, such as during labor and childbirth.
I suffer from pretty intense anxiety, I assume it's partly hormonal and due to medical issues, and I can usually put on a neutral face and get on with whatever I'm doing while quietly panicking. He has no understanding of anxiety although I do think he suffers from it as well, in his own way. Anyway, I had a complete meltdown one day and both of my kids were so gentle, and kind. They immediately stopped what they were doing and rushed to my side, hands on my back, and told me that they would be quiet so that I could relax. It made me realize that they aren't just blobs that always need to be taken care of; they're also little people who recognize the pain and suffering in the world and that their first reaction is that of empathy.
As a child of parents that did that, I suggest you be real in front of your kids. Let the whole world in, good or bad.
My parents tried to maintain a facade of pleasantness in front of us. The principle is nice, I guess, but it backfires in the long run.
We could always tell when stuff was wrong. The anxiety creeps in and poisons the atmosphere. Bad times in our family were a slightly nightmarish time of fixed smiles and tension that couldn't be resolved because our family culture didn't allow us to talk about our feelings.
And it fed into us too. We learned that pain wasn't allowed, and kept our bad times to ourselves. It's something I'm still having to work on in my 30's.
My 3yo recently told me, mid cough, to worry about myself. All I was doing was asking if she was ok.
Maybe a different answer than what you were looking for, but I started out only wanting two kids. Wife wanted to have another, and I eventually agreed, but I wasn't super excited about it. My career had taken off, and I wasn't looking forward to all of the work that it takes to raise a baby/toddler/child.
That kid is the kindest, most loving person I have ever had the pleasure to meet. My other two kids are great in their own ways, and I know all three will be successful in their lives, but #3 has taught all of us a little more compassion and kindness.
This is my experience too! I have 3 boys, all loving, sweet, affectionate, but my 3rd is beyond. He is now 8 years old, but has always been the sweets, kindest, most loving snuggle bug. Even when he was born, they placed him on my chest and he wiggled his way up until he was buried in my neck where he stayed. He is happy, empathetic, caring, thoughtful, joyful, funny, magnetic and generous. He is the most loving human being I know.
Last year around this time, I was really struggling to figure out whether or not to keep trying to make it work with my partner, keep going to couples counseling, etc, or just call it & start the process of moving out. We all went to IKEA one evening & while our daughter (she'd just turned 7 at the time) was in Smaland (the on-site child care), we picked up some stuff for her for Christmas.
That night she came upstairs to talk to me before bed. We hadn't stashed the bag with her gifts in it well enough & she got a little peek inside. My partner (now ex) started yelling at her for snooping. Our daughter replied, "I didn't see anything! & it was all very forgettable anyway! It's okay!" My ex was like, "Wow, maybe I should just return it all then, if it's so 'forgettable'. That's really insulting." They went back & forth like this (neither of them can let the other have the last word) until I separated them & got everyone cooled off & into bed.
My ex was already at work the next morning & I was getting our daughter ready for school. She brought up the bag of gifts again & was like, "It's okay! It was forgettable!" I realized that she just meant that she'd try to forget what she saw & act surprised at Christmas, she wasn't insulting the gifts. My daughter has always had a vocabulary that kind of outstripped her ability to use it accurately, & this is FAR from the first time that she used a big word in slightly the wrong way & caused big miscommunications with her other parent. At this point, I was so used to translating that I just did it in my head automatically.
So I told her, "Okay, I understand what you're saying & I appreciate you making that effort. You just need to be careful about the words you use with your other mom. She can be kind of quick to take things personally, so it's important to stop & think carefully about the words you're using with her. Don't call the gifts 'forgettable' in front of her again."
My kiddo was like, "It must be hard to be that way. You get your feelings hurt a lot when they don't need to be hurt." I was like, "Yeah, that's true. That's a very thoughtful way of looking at it."
Then she said, "Do you have to be careful with the words you use?" I was like, "Yeah, but I've had a lot of practice, I'm used to it." She said, "It must be hard to be in a relationship with someone like that."
I was dumbfounded. It WAS hard to be in a relationship with someone like that. It was killing me. It was so hard to communicate with her about anything because my words would be twisted & misinterpreted, & I was exhausted all the time & just not talking about a million tiny things that were making me crazy because I knew they'd devolve into fights & did I really want to have a fight about a million tiny things? & then I realized that I was coaching my child, my FIRST GRADER, on choosing her words so as to not incur the wrath of a f**king adult, & I was like, WHAT am I DOING?!??!? When my ex got home from work that night, I told her it was over.
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Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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