Humans managed to dominate all of the other species across the globe primarily due to one key factor: a large brain with a frontal lobe.
Nonetheless, humans are uniquely dumb on so many occasions. One is left considering such far-reaching stupidity an outright disrespect for the gift of that brain, with all of its potential.
But at least humans are smart enough to accept their dumbness. They invent items and services to keep everyone safe and secure, despite people's seeming insistence on screwing everything up.
Or, humans are so dumb that something continues to be around despite obvious solutions that we insist on not pursuing.
Whatever underlies it, the outcome is the same: our world is full of things that do not need to be here
Heel-Hook asked, "What exists only because humans are dumb?"
Out of the Kitchen
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Worst Cooks in America.
I literally found out about this today.
Some guy decided to try to add more flavor into his steak (I think) by adding butter. This is a good idea, but it would have been a better idea if he took the butter out of the wrapping before putting it into the pan.
DUH!
Disclaimer before UFC fight: this may include violence.
Well yeah it better freaking contain violence, that's what I'm here for.
"no swimming"
No swimming sticker on places that are physically not possible to swim at.
Yeah they're for the people who are too dumb to realize it would be suicidal to try and swim somewhere, so really they're necessary because I saw a guy hop in to a river from a bridge over a wier and then go over it. He held onto the "no swimming" sign to stand on the railing to jump over. He was fine, but only because the water level up top was lower than usual.
Not at Home....
'Don't try this at home' warnings.
Let's be fair, the show Mythbusters needed this. Some of their things came from stupid people or were ideas that could possibly be recreated at home.
Dummy GIF by memecandy
End of Life
A lot of senseless deaths. Everyone who ever died of a preventable cause of death.
Less then 30....
Congressmen with 30+ years in office.
I guess that depends on perspective. The least corrupt and most honest person in Congress has been there that long.
Deep Cuts
Safety scissors.
Not even safe either. I have a scar from a pair. Go through skin just as well.
K Ok GIF by Originals
Bloodshed.
War. HOO. What is it good for?
Corporate entities not in the war-zone.
It's Whack.
Tik Tok.
Just saying this before someone else will say it.
the cycle
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Media, modern day as we know it. 24 hour news cycles, censorship, click bait, all of it.
Cool Off....
The "caution: hot beverage" labels.
The dumb ones in this case are companies like McDonald's that permanently disfigured a customer with super hot coffee, then did everything they could to make people think she was at fault.
All of the Above
Climate change, sea level rise, depletion of fisheries, whaling, War on Drugs, Global War on Terror, war, genocide, racism, wars of religion...
daylight savings GIF by ScreenJunkies
For Hope
Religions. Sorry if this makes anyone mad, but aren't religions made to explain things we can't understand?
It can do more than that. It brings many hope and purpose, and then there's always the imbeciles who justify hate with it.
It wasn't, but we like to view the politics of all history through the lens of today's culture. sure, maybe a peasant's life revolved totally around their faith-but that doesn't mean the primary purpose of the priests was to take his crops. before travel was easy and most people could read and write, the Church was the power and the social structure of most of Europe. but to say that it's history was wholly one of a desire for control was disingenuous.
The Best Dope
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The Darwin awards.
That is very true considering they're literally awards for the world's biggest idiots.
2020!!!
Donald Trump's presidency.
I'm not surprised anymore. 46% voted for that guy in the first place despite all the crap he'd done before. I swear if he wins again I give up on America.
This isn't lettuce?
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I found warning labels on fruit salad saying "Warning contains fruits."
Just Wait.
The loading progress bar was made because the people brought for testing thought something was wrong.
Yeah, providing feedback that the program is running and hasn't crashed is an important part of UI design.
100% sugar
Ingredients labels on flour, sugar, raisins, etc.
It's because of standards more than for stupid people. There aren't many people wondering which ingredients sugar contains (spoiler: it contains 100% sugar), but all products intended for human consumption are required to have an ingredient lists.
Putting the ingredients on items which are just a single ingredient may be a bit ridiculous, but it doesn't harm anyone and it's probably better than coming up with possibly confusing exceptions for that regulation.
It's for Health.
Marijuana criminalization.
That had more to do with taxes and lobbyists from the cotton industry.
In the U.S. at least.
Aide says Nixon's war on drugs targeted blacks, hippies
"You understand what I'm saying? We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin. And then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities," zomboromcom
BACK UP FOOLS!!!
Fences and railings at the Grand Canyon.
This one made me chuckle. I visited the Grand Canyon Visitor's Center last year in July, peak summer, peak tourism. Lots of tourists.
Thing is, the visitors center is right up at the side of a freaking cliff. A several hundred foot high cliff. Sheer rock, no incline. And yet, on that day, I could not fight my polite urge to let people be themselves. People were literally getting on top of the rock railing and doing poses for Instagram, dancing, jumping, doing handstands. People are freaking stupid.
Meow Time
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Cats videos. I agree that cats are funny, but when it's the most popular thing on the internet, it makes me think that people aren't interested in self-development.
How?
Wikihow.
Yeah the majority of wikiHow articles are useful, but every now and then there's one that's hilariously dumb.
Comedy gold a while ago, just from a wikihow.
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Dear Prep H....
Certain Warning labels....
"Dear Preparation H, I love your product and it has made me feel so much better; but boy does it taste bad!"
We is Dumb
Math: we're literally incapable of the kind of information processing and abstraction needed to deal with things directly. So, we came up with systems of symbols and rules for manipulating them that allow us to sidestep our cognitive limitations. Also, the lottery (unless it's a charity lottery or something).
How Free?
Bags of nuts, vegetables, meat, etc. that say "gluten free."
Those labels can be pretty helpful for people with severe allergies. The "gluten free" labels typically indicate that the product hasn't come in contact with any gluten products at any point during processing, such as on shared machinery. It doesn't matter for most of us, but guarantees can be important for people who can't tolerate even trace amounts of gluten.
Everything & Everyone....
Climate Change
Jersey Shore
Kanye West's presidential campaign
The modern day Flat Earth movement (even the ancient Greeks knew it was round bro)
You (the person reading this not OP), I've met your mom.
Issues with Shade
Racism, not just for the whole BLM, it is known that genetic diversity is the key for species survival, and we are looking waaaay too much at what shade of black, Brown or white a person has.
Also, "race" is one of those things that people won't give importance until some one mentions it.
In the books....
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From the biblical perspective, clothing.
Protip: if a snake starts to talk to you, you probably shouldn't eat the food it suggests you eat.
to inflame
The word flammable.
The original word was inflammable, from the word inflame. But people thought it meant non-flammable. So the word flammable was created.
It's a good word because it keeps innocent children from being burnt because of their dumb parents.
System Shock
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The charge of an electron. Benjamin Franklin had a 50/50 chance and he guessed wrong. This has made teaching electronics harder to do for the rest of eternity.
Scientific Understanding is Only Half the Battle
"Measles. In the 2000's, measles was nearly eradicated. However, because of antivaxxers communities, it went on a rise again. In the same vein, wear a goddamn mask people."
"I should also mention measles was always very prevalent in other nations, so I'm just referring to the US in this comment."
Because Yes, Someone Has Tried That
"warning labels" -- Ocean_Beast
"This was exactly what I came to comment. My most favorite warning label was on a baby stroller. 'Remove child before folding!'" -- kaismama
"I found this on a hair dryer: 'Do not use while sleeping'" -- MEScout
"My fav warning label was my coffee maker saying 'do not hold above peoples head'" -- twolimbooctopus
Drop Cloth
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Food Bibs, Not all of us can be like Hannibal Burress and have the confidence to not drop or spill our food on the way to our mouths.
Debatable
"Lawyers. Source: am lawyer." -- fendaar
"Even without dumb people I think we'd still need some lawyers to handle things like contract law or patent law." -- adeon
"Oh really? Name every law" -- Darkmaster666666
1 Foot Doughnut Claims
"NOT REAL SIZE Logos on posters."
"I used to work in a grocery store that had a bakery, and we had a poster that was hanging from the ceiling with the bakery's logo and a few pastries beside it."
"We had to reprint the poster with a message under it that said, 'Not real life size' because some Karen got mad then when she got her donut and it wasn't 1 ft. in diameter."
"She complained for 'False advertising' and corporate had to send a new poster."
-- jman857
Unnatural Phenomena
"Pugs" -- Lil-Sleepy-A1
"Have you ever seen the skeleton of one of those monstrosities?" -- zookeeper4980
"If you keep a pug in good shape, it will breathe easier" -- maxipad2008
In Case You Had Other Interpretations
"The label on milk bottles that says it contains dairy. If I'm buying milk I'd kinda hope it contains dairy?" -- thebibarista
"Allergy info: This peanut butter contains peanut products. Gee thanks" -- Heel-Hook
"Disclaimer before UFC fight: this may include violence. Well yeah it better f***in contain violence, that's what I'm here for" -- ZoFarZoGood
A Momentous Accident
"Penicillin, because someone didn't clean the Petri dish" -- drempire
"Worked out though" -- Heel-Hook
"Or a cantaloupe" -- naivemetaphysics
It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way
"The [virus] death toll in the US" -- Snow_Da_92
"How is the US media reporting the country's response for [virus]" -- Heel-Hook
"Pretty much like you'd expect. The left says everyone's stupid for not wearing masks, the right says everyone's stupid for wearing masks...."
"It's a sh** show....." -- Snow_Da_92
Who Was The Last to Leave?
"Africanized honey bees, a.k.a. killer bees."
"Some scientist accidentally let out bees and now they have the intent to kill anything in site. Worse than wasps my opinion."
-- Cheese_Boi20
Buying Power
"In the call center I work at part of our greeting is that we have to thank customers for the number of years they've been with the company because we legit had people complain about us not doing that."
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.