Sometimes being a parent is just not in the cards.
And that's ok. In fact, for many it's a joy and a blessing.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent.
Just look around at all of the people who are parents that shouldn't be.
When someone says kids aren't for me... I applaud them.
Parenting is something you should want to do, not forced by society.
RedditorRGX323wanted to lay out the reasons why they decided children weren't for them. They asked:
"People who don't want children. Why?"
I hate kids. Not really, but, enough to know parenting isn't my journey. My dogs are enough.
Me. ME. ME!
time-out blues GIF by Angry BirdsGiphy"I'm selfish when it comes to my quiet time. I love being alone."
Worried_Jaguar_912
Might as Well...
"I think having children isn't something you do because you don't have a reason not to. I would have children if I had a really good reason to, and I don't. It's an important, life changing decision that involves an innocent person being brought into the world. I don't think I should do that just because might as well."
DM_Rexy
Get a Dog
"I used to think I really wanted kids, like growing up I thought it would be the best thing ever, but for the past few years I’ve really been questioning whether that’s something I’ve just accepted as a social norm, and whether a child is actually something I want in my life. Recently my partner and I got a dog, this thing is a hell of a lot of work, I’m up at 3am every night for potty business."
"Everyone says kids are way harder than dogs, and I just can’t imagine going through that, and I’m not even the one giving birth to it. I really don’t think I want everything that comes with having a child, even if I would enjoy some of the highlight moments."
HuntedWolf
Geneology
"I am physically disabled with a genetic circulation condition. I don't want to pass my condition onto others, and the physical aspects of raising children would be too much strain on me."
odysseyshot
"I'm not physically disabled but I have a severe stammering/stuttering disability. A couple of people in my family had it before me but not as severe. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone let alone my children. Plus I like being alone."
aftabtaimoor61
Unhappiness
No Thank You GIF by Karen CivilGiphy"Because I genuinely would not be happy with kids. I strongly believe that all kids deserve to be wanted, but not all people deserve to be parents."
Express_Topic_4081
All honest answers. All good answers.
No Thank You...
Schitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphy"I have zero desire or instinct to be a mom. Life is enough work without kids. With kids looks straight up awful. I don't know any parents that make having kids look attractive."
alieninhumanskin10
No More...
"Expensive, plus being a teacher I have seen enough and don't want to come home to dealing with more kids."
User Deleted
"Fellow teacher here. Same feelings. After some of those tougher days as school, sometimes all I desire is the ability to get away; to come home and sit in silence. Imagining having my girlfriend and I both working full-time (as we'd need to in order to support a family) only to come home and jump right into full-time parenting duty is so unbelievably daunting."
rake2204
Back Up
"I like my own personal space."
NotYourAverage666
"Oh my gosh, yes. I was never a touchy kid. Even as an adult, I don't give a lot of hugs/kisses/physical affection. If I ended up with a kid like my brother (ADHD and constantly wanting to hold hands or be in your personal space) I think I'd go crazy! Or give the kid a complex."
SgtSilverLining
Laziness
"I have no desire to raise a child, or care for one, or be responsible for one. I am lazy, I can take care of myself just fine, but the extra work to raise a child for something I don't want isn't worth it. I want financial freedom, freedom to make spontaneous decisions, children wouldn't allow for that."
haircatmoon
Therapy Bills
Shark Tank Mark GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"I refuse to mess up a child as badly as my parents messed me up, and I don't think I could cope with being responsible for an infant or a toddler. Also, my genes aren't worth passing on."
darthfruitbasket
Fork It
"They’re expensive, loud, time consuming, and don’t smell good. Plus I don’t feel like putting my body through a year of physical hell just to follow it up with 18 years of putting my goals and career to the side to make sure it doesn’t stick a fork in a socket or swallow a bee."
thatbikerchick51
kids is the norm...
"Having kids isn’t for everyone. We need to get rid of this idea that ‘having kids is the norm’ or ‘what adults do like get a job, buy a house and have a family.’ I don’t feel that we’re on earth to tick boxes. It’s about living what is true for our own evolution as a human being, a spirit in incarnation. So whatever that may look like, wether it’s having a family of 6 children (me being one of such off-spring) or if it’s buying a clapped out old farm and turning it into a dog rescue place then do that."
Jinobin
Cats & Dogs
"Self-awareness. I am the one to end the family curse of anger, violence, betrayal and gaslighting. I am not going to put my future children in that situation. Also, cancer, diabetes and bad cholesterol run in the family. I am good with my pets. Cats and dogs."
"I love them and they give me the love I need in my life to function in this world and actually live a peaceful and purposeful life. I have friends who can't and do not want children as well so I am in the right crowd and don't feel like I am missing out on something."
summertimepeace
Crapshow...
"Firstly, the worlds a s**tshow. Second, there are enough kids in the world that need homes. If I wanted kids, I’d foster or adopt. Third, I grew up being bullied a LOT. Oddly, I used to get along with the parents of my bullies. It made me realise that, while how someone’s brought up can affect who they are, yes, a lot of people are crappy despite their parents."
"Also it made me realize how often kids lie about who they are to their parents, taking on personas to appease them to their face while being horrible to others behind their backs. I don’t want to bring another horrible person into the world. Not a universal experience, but it’s mine. But also, again, the world’s a s**tshow."
UlyssesSStarlord
Inner Focus
mickey mouse animation GIF by hoppipGiphy"Haven't conquered my inner demons yet... I don't want them to inherit my inner demons."
Jimboynoob
Lisa?
"Why not? This is just like asking why someone doesn't want a dog. They don't want to."
MisanthropeManic
"My career choice is not popular among my more conservative family and friends and I always use a similar argument when they ask why I don't want to have kids and I say 'because I'm not interested.'"
"Like, why don't you want to be a researcher, Lisa? It's fulfilling and rewarding and you learn new things everyday that you just wouldn't experience elsewhere! Because you have literally no interest."
humdrumflagellum
Adventures
"I never understood why so many want children. Life is a huge adventure without children. With children it’s a job for twenty years."
Hotspur2018
"Even worse than that, its a job after you come home from your actual job, for which you have to work longer hours to help pay for the children you’ve had and now have to clean up their pee, crap and puke and causing thousands in property damage by drawing over every freaking wall imaginable."
Kurai_Kiba
mental...
"People say it changes your life. My life is awesome and I don't want it changing. I'm 40, never married and me and my girlfriend do what we want, when we want. Why would we give this up to change crappy nappies, halve the amount of hours we sleep, lose our social life and spend all our money on kids? Mental."
i_like_flies_
Fireproof
Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphy"I'm a teacher. Best contraceptive on the planet."
MyHeadIsBursting
I'm Bad
"I'd be a terrible father. I like to relax and do whatever the hell I want when I get home. Taking care of a small child is one thing I would definitely not want to do after a long day of work. Yes, I am selfish, in this instance. Plus, I like my money. Kids are expensive af, and saving money that I can then spend on going to see my family or going on vacations or just doing whatever the hell I want is something I don't want to change any time soon."
DesertOps4
More people need to embrace their childless selves. There is nothing wrong with that.
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Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.