Mother In Laws already have a reputation for being The Worst™, but insert an already embarrassing situation, and what do you have? The answer is, a recipe for a stressful ongoing disaster.
u/ch3ssclub told us her story:
My [25/F] MIL [50s/F] walked in on my husband [28/M] and I having sex, and now she keeps directing these weird remarks at me.
We've been together three years, married three months. His family invited us to join them on a trip. Our first day there, SO and I decided to have a quickie before dinner.
We gave his mother a spare key card to our room just in case, but we did not expect her to use it. I guess we were running late for dinner. She came up to see what was taking so long, tried to open the door, unlocked it on her own (even though we put the do not disturb thing up) and caught us. She stared for a second and then ran out embarrassed. My husband and I burst out laughing. He closed the door, we finished because we're monsters and went down to dinner expecting some awkward laughter and a joke or two.
MIL usually makes the innocent sex joke here and there so we didn't expect her to be traumatized or anything. But she has really made a point to direct weird, shameful remarks at me. Implying I'm a hussy for f*cking my husband, while conveniently ignoring the fact that she ignored all the signs and unlocked the door on her own.
SO has tried to talk to her but she "can't look at him". The rest of the family has no idea what happened.
TL;DR: on family trip. SO were having sex in our hotel room. MIL has spare key. She unlocked the door and walked in on us. Now she keeps trying to make me feel bad for having sex with my husband.
Here was some of the advice she got.
One
GiphyHold on a sec, let me dig back into the fundamentalist southern baptist mindset here. Okay.
Sex is a god-given act of procreation, and Gob made us so that our lady parts line up perfectly with men's man parts. Is that an accident? Of course not! Therefore, any sex act that doesn't involve lining up those parts the way Gob intended and mashing them together is sinful. If you have to bend down or twist or stand on your head, Gob doesn't want you to do it.
Basically, just don't do anything that might make sex fun, especially anything that might make sex fun for women. Gob doesn't like women and if they start enjoying sex, Jeebus cries and everybody loses their boners.
Two
GiphyIf she continues to refuse to talk to him, he could write her a clear note, or email or something, saying "My wife and I had sex and you unfortunately walked in on us, despite having do not disturb signs up. We aren't ashamed of what we did, and if you have a problem with it I'm not sure what to tell you. But I WILL tell you that your comments degrading and shaming my wife need to end, or we will have to have a pretty serious conversation. Do not insult my wife any longer".
[username deleted]
Three
GiphyWhat the heck did she think she was going to find walking into a married couple's hotel room with a do not disturb sign up, without knocking? This is 100% on her. And it's 100% on your husband to tell her to stop the comments right f*cking now. I think this should probably be the end of MIL having a key to anything, including your home. If she has a key it's time to change the locks at home. And if she can't stop with the comments, you might need to take a time out until she can get over herself.
Four
GiphyI would just make some remarks or jokes back about learning how to read (the sign on the door) and doesn't anybody knock anymore?
Five
GiphyI am a Mother and MIL.
If - perchance - I had mistakenly seen such an intimate act between my son and wife - the most I would have said would have been nothing.
There is no need to "talk" about such intimate, private, marital relations with you (as it's none of her business anyway) and you don't have any obligation to do so either.
Let Mom stew and go on with your lives. Simply act as if nothing was seen. If she brings it up simply say "Oh we don't discuss private matters." Change the subject. If she persists, raise your eyebrows and walk away.
I believe within a short time things will revert to normal.
Oh - next time? Don't give Mom a spare key since she seems not to understand the basics of privacy and knocking on doors before entering.
Take care.
Nana internet hug
[username deleted]
Six
GiphyHe needs to tell her to knock it off, and if she keeps it up (or if she is doing it front of the family), tell her to knock it off and why (YOU used your key to walk into OUR room without knocking loudly, ignoring signs) in front of the rest of the family, and that if she is going to treat him and his WIFE badly, y'all are going home and instituting a period of no contact until she apologizes. Because she does not get to treat you two like sh*t.
Seven
GiphyI'm super fascinated that the crux of this post is that MIL is making weird remarks, but the weird remarks are being glossed over entirely (double bonus confusion that no one else in this thread seems to have noticed?).
You said there were remarks, you said that it seems to you like she's using the remarks to imply you're a hussy. What has she actually been saying to you?
Your version might be totally accurate. But there is definitely a world where this is all in your head and she's being perfectly fine, and you're projecting the weirdness onto her.
Eight
GiphyCan your husband talk to his father, perhaps? I'm sure she's been venting to him.
I find that a lot of mothers just can't let their sons go, the flip side of the fathers who threaten the boys their daughters date. You're supposed to rear children into becoming adults, and adults have intimate lives that their parents aren't part of.
Nine
GiphyWhy not call her out on her behavior at the next family meal? Make everyone aware of her ridiculous behavior. CALL HER OUT ON IT.
"Oh geez Mom, really? We are newlyweds, what did you think you were going to see when you barged in our hotel room while a DO NOT DISTURB sign was up and we were unreachable? Why on earth are you implying that my WIFE is a hussy? We are married! EVEN THE POPE APPROVES OF OUR RELATIONS AT THIS POINT! Or maybe wife should get her own room so that you'll feel more comfortable? HAHA! Your behavior is borderline hilarious. Someone pass the bread, please."
Ten
GiphySometimes anger is an easier emotion to process than others and it may be easier to be angry at you than her son.
Her reaction isn't appropriate but it's up to your husband to deal with it. She possibly feels stupid for having ignored/not seen particular signs and is trying to deflect. No one is perfect and sometimes even the most experienced and reasonable of us have a hard time processing certain things. It's different knowing your child is a sexual being to actually seeing it - maybe that's what she's having an issue with?
Give your MIL some space and let her come round. Let her figure it out and don't make jokes about it for a while. Think of her as a small child who is feeling angry, hurt and confused and treat her with the kindness you'd give that child. It will all blow over but now is the time for sensitivity.
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
No Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
Chris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
Vacuuming Clean Up GIF by MashedGiphy"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
Awkward Episode 1 GIF by HeelsGiphy"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
delete black and white GIFGiphy"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
