There's nothing more embarrassing than laughing at a story someone just told, or a question someone just asked, under the assumption that they were joking.
Only to realize a few seconds later that they weren't joking.
It happens to the best of us.
In some cases, these can be bizarre stories which we might laugh about months or years down the road.
Though more often than not, we immediately feel a foot slamming into our mouth with a vengeance.
Redditor tatemalia was eager to hear the wildest, most embarrassing of these unfortunate moments, leading them to ask:
"What's your 'Oh..You're not joking' moment?"
Oh, bless your heart.
"Had an old lady ask me when her dog would grow its leg back after an amputation."- Moctor_Drignall
Don't mind if I do
"I was eating ice cream and an old guy walking into the ice cream parlor said, 'Oh, that looks good! I'm gonna get a spoon'."
"I smiled and laughed awkwardly, until his damn spoon was in my ice cream."- KnittingTrekkie
Feedback is greatly appreciated
"It was when I met up with an online friend for the first time."
"It was surprisingly more fun than I thought it would be."
"By the end of the night, as we were waiting to get served at a restaurant, she looked at me and asked how I thought our outing went."
"I told her that I had a great time."
"But that didn't seem to do it for her."
"She proceeded to tell me about how she does this thing, at the end of every outing with her friends, where she rates and gives feedback on how well it went, what didn't go so well, and what could do with some improvement for next time."
"I laughed it off, thinking she was joking."
"It all felt too robotic and school-like for me to take seriously."
"But she definitely was serious."
"I told her to go first so I could get an idea of what she wanted and, I kid you not, she whipped out her phone and started drafting up multiple paragraphs for about 7 minutes or so."
"I felt so awkward because it was also 7 minutes of pure silence and deep concentration."
"Thankfully, I had to leave mid-way because I was needed elsewhere."
"I told her to just text me her thoughts when she was done but she insisted that that wasn't the way to do it, and it HAD to be done in person."
"I still can't believe this is something her and her friends regularly do."- reigndrops17season 10 episode 22 GIFGiphy
We'll take the house, no need for a bag.
"Working in a catalog store in the UK."
"You pick from the catalog, we bring it out from the warehouse."
"Lady comes in and orders the single largest thing we keep in store."
"A shed. "
"Not a particularly big shed as sheds go, but still a shed."
"'Ok madam if you give me your vehicle's registration number I'll tell the security guys to let you round the back of the store'."
"'Park in bay five and we'll load it for you'."
"'What are you talking about?'"
"'You have to park around back so we can load it into your vehicle'."
"'I don't have a vehicle'."
"'Oh, well, we have the numbers for some white van men and taxi services if you'd like to...'"
"'No just bring it up, Keith can carry it'."
"She indicates a portly man of around 50 across the room'."
"We got it into the lift diagonally, though it trapped a man behind it, and when it came up she said 'what on earth is that?'"
"'That's your shed, madam'."
"'My Keith can't carry that!'"
"'Yeah no sh*t, would you like me to call a van service for you?'"
"She actually just got a refund and left."- reverendmalerikRace Shed GIF by CBSGiphy
That's not yours, its mine!
"I work at a hotel."
"We have this regular who comes, but usually makes reservations ahead of time, and she has her 'favorite' room she tries to get."
"Well one day she walked in, asking for a room."
"I had rooms available, but not the one she wanted, and she replied 'oh, call the guests in that room and tell them to move out so I can have it'."
"I seriously thought that was a joke and I played along, saying 'I'll get right on that,' as I was getting her info in the computer."N
"All of a sudden she said, 'aren't you going to call them?'"
"'Those guests in that room so I can have it'."
"'Oh, you really weren't joking'."
"I told her that we don't do that, if she wanted that room she needed to call ahead."
"'I have a room, I know it's not your preferred room but it's all I've got, and you can take it or leave it, but I'm not moving a guest out'."
"She seemed almost taken aback by that, but I told her that if she didn't take the room I had she wouldn't get anything."
"She calls ahead now, but I was mortified and shocked she actually tried this stunt, and actually meant it."- llcucf80
What is the meaning of this?!
"Used to work at a big bank that bought out another, somewhat smaller but still pretty big bank about 10 years ago."
"Some guy came in all pissed off because we didn't send him a new debit card with the new bank's logo on it."
"They intentionally made it so the old ones would continue working until they were originally set to expire."
Said it was "'embarrassing'."
"'I can't be the only person who's gotten upset over this, right?'"
"Yeah homie, you were."- giantgooseGiphy
Nah, I just do this for fun...
"Back at an old job, retail, I was wearing the uniform with the company name plastered across the front while on a ladder working on a project."
"A customer comes up to me and very seriously looks up and goes 'do you work here'?"
"I just looked at her dumbfounded and judging on her expression change, I'm guessing she quickly realized how dumb that question was."-
That's what you get for skipping math...
"I was talking to my friend the other day about smart people and he said 'the smartest equation that I know is force x acceleration = mass'."
"I said 'good one'."
"He said 'good what?'"- unhollow_knight
"My friend said his dad left so I went on with 'oh yeah what kind of b*tches your daddy getting in the milk section at Walmart?'"
"He looked at me with the most hurt look in his eyes."- Limp_Law_3432
A rare, genuine friend.
"Met someone in an 'among us' chat one day and we got along really well."
"We played so many games together and built enough trust to exchange numbers and talk in messages In the game."
"She always talked about how she was a teen mom with twins I always chalked it up to her faking it to protect her identity from online strangers."
"Something I, and probably many others, are guilty of."
"Anyways we talked for a while before she sent me pictures of her with her babies."
"It sunk it that she wasn't lying and she proved it even more by face timing me."
"Her girls were adorable and I'll never forget that friend."
"Unfortunately I lost the phone we met on and I haven't been able to contact her since."- illbehomesoon2027Twitch Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
Customer service at its finest...
"This isn’t a biggie but it left me kinda annoyed."
"I was at the gym and had just started using some equipment when a trainer and his client come over to me."
"Trainer asked how long I’d be."
"I said I just started but I’d be about 10-15 more minutes."
"Trainer looks at me and said 'I’ll give you 5 minutes'.”
"I laughed, thinking he was joking."
"He didn’t laugh."
"He just said 'Go', and walked away with his client."
"Client didn’t say a word."
"I took the time I needed."- DashfulVanilla
What were they going to do with it?
"I was the silly person in this story but that’s okay."
" I was getting my blood drawn and asked if I was able to have my blood back after they tested it."
"The woman looked at me and laughed, assuming I was joking."
"It took her about 10 seconds to realize I wasn’t joking…"- bossybxtch
The children were in such good hands
"I had just started working at my current job about a month prior to this."
"A coworker and I were talking about favorite books when a younger coworker walked in and said, 'oh, I don't believe in books'."
"We laughed...she didn't."
"So I said, but...they exist, see?"
"Picked up several books to show her. She rolled her eyes and said, 'well I know books really exist, but I don't believe in reading"
"...uh...we're working at a school, proooobably not the best place to denounce books."- DishyPanHandsryan reynolds book GIFGiphy
What world are they living in"
"When someone asked me 'Who won the civil war?'"- PothierM
It's easy to understand how these poor people thought what they had just heard was a joke.
One imagines, going forward, they might wait to laugh until after the people they were talking to start laughing.
It's human nature to have various opinions about the people we come across.
What sets us apart from heathens is that we keep our judgments to ourselves–especially when they are not of the flattering variety.
The people who probably interact with strangers the most are those who work in any type of service industry, and they should be good about keeping their mouths shut if they don't have anything nice to say about a customer or of their purchases.
But Redditor gracoal gave those who worked in retail the opportunity to share their anecdotes by asking:
"Cashiers of Reddit, what items make you silently judge the people who buy them?"
When it came to the sale of beverages, these Redditors had some interesting thoughts.
"When I worked at the liquor store we only judged people if they came back several times a day."
"Edit: I only did this because it was illegal to sell alcohol to drunk people, when you have someone making multiple trips during a shift they may be drunk, whether or not they where an alcoholic wasn't my concern, but yes I had to judge them."
"When I was drinking heavily every night I’d go to a different store each day so as to avoid judgment lol"
Quality Of Water
"The ethos water at Starbucks. We literally give out free water and it’s way better than the ethos water like sir."
Some of these are examples of how cashiers shouldn't respond to items being purchased.
"This was about ten years ago, but the only time I judged someone was also when I lost a little faith in humanity."
"Guy in his late twenties comes through the line. Belt is filled with junk food; chips, chocolate, popcorn, candy, etc. The whole time I'm ringing him up he's saying how glad he is to be out of the house, that the baby has a flu or something and hes at his wits end."
"Fair enough, I suppose."
"I get to the total, tell him, and wouldn't you know, he's short a few dollars. So what does he put back? The only non-juck food item: children's cold and flu medicine."
"I still judge that man, and I don't even remember his face."
"At the pharmacy I had a guy not buy an epipen for his child with a $50 copay but pay $100 for tretinoin which was not covered for his own acne which, honestly wasn’t that bad. He really could have used an OTC med. I felt sorry for his offspring."
"I bought toilet paper and laxatives at the same time. Teenage cashier looked at it and got the giggles. This got the bagger laughing. I just stood there stupidly pretending it wasn’t funny."
"Not judged as much as hated when people bought dozens of those individually wrapped snack sized cheese slices. At my store we had to scan each one of them."
"🧀 Beep 🧀 beep 🧀 beep 🧀 beep"
A Lesson Learned
"Currently working as a cashier and I was reading thru these thinking 'what was something I really judged people for?'"
"Then I remembered this one customer I judged wrongly. Every morning this one guy would bolt into the store, go to the drink aisle, and come out with 5-6 energy drinks. He would come everyday so one day, I made a joke and said: 'don't drink them all in one setting.'"
"He then proceeded to tell me that it's to help with his ongoing chemo therapy. Stopped judging people based on their items after that one."
It's not always the merchandise that prompted judgment.
Checking The Attitude
"I was a cashier for 3 years, and I can't think of a single thing that anyone bought that I judged them for."
"I certainly judged people for their attitudes, for inappropriately asking for a discount, or for various other petty things, but never for the items they were buying."
"back when i worked nights at a gas station, i had a lady come in wanting a sale that had ended the previous week. when i refused to give it to her she did the whole 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!' bit, and swore her uncle owned the gas station chain and was going to have me fired. i really didn't give a damn. i made $12/hour. i told her go for it. then kicked her out."
"talked to my boss the next day who was a little peeved i didnt give her the discount but said i did the right thing by kicking her out because she doesn't tolerate customers being rude to her staff. never did find out if she really was the niece of the gas station owner, and never got fired. quit a year later for a better paying job."
These former cashiers couldn't be bothered with assessing the behavior or shopping preferences of customers.
"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I barely pay attention to what im scanning most of the time. You could point a loaded gun at me and leave a note saying you're gonna rob me. So long as I swipe it through and hear a beep, I won't even flinch."
Free From Judgment
"I cashiered at a grocery store for 4 years, same. I never judged people for what they were buying. I did judge people for being rude, for complaining about paying for disposable bags, for eating produce before paying for it, and for lying to my face to save a couple pennies. You can try switching the produce stickers but I can tell the difference between a Fuji and a Sweet Tango."
"Something I always wished people knew that we DO NOT judge people for"
- "having their card declined. If you only knew how frequently this happened all day long. No one cares and I do believe you when you tell me the account has money. I believe you. Cards get declined for all kinds of reasons, all day long. It is not a big deal at all."
- "I do not judge you for bringing a reusable bag from a different grocery store. People seem to think it’s bad etiquette or something and would always apologize for using a trader joe’s bag or something. No one cares. At all. Use whatever reusable bag you like, it’s just a bag."
The Wild Lovers
"I worked as a grocery store cashier many years ago when I was in college. I saw lots of weird stuff, but never judged what people bought, but did judge them if they were a-holes. Even people on wic and foodstamps buying beer or steaks didn't bother me - sometimes you have to enjoy the little things, and who am I to deny or judge someone wanting a small enjoyment if their life is already rough enough?"
"But there was this one time that was freaking hilarious. Late on a weekend night, a really trashy couple were all over each other as they bought a 12 pack of beer and a box of condoms. Hey, at least they were being responsible. But the funniest part was when they came back not 30 minutes later and bought smokes. I still laugh thinking about that."
You never know what a cashier might be thinking, but that shouldn't stop you from buying the merchandise you want for fear of being judged.
Just make sure you treat them all with kindness. Because the positive impression you give will be something that stays with them after a long shift dealing with wacky customers.
The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.