Nerds Reveal The Most Embarrassing Nerdy Moment They've Ever Had[rebelmouse-image 18352931 is_animated_gif=
Nerd and geek culture has taken over. Just ask any of the Marvel movies in the theaters on any given week, or the Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook hitting the New York Times Best-Sellers list nearly 4 years after publication. While it's never been better than ever to let your geek flag fly, nerd and geeks now find themselves under a particular spotlight where we're forced to examine themselves a little but more and find those moments where we're a little but too nerdy. Reddit user, r/rp4187135, asked:
Nerds of reddit, what was the nerdiest moment of your life?
When xxxTowerxxx Met CharlieBob43...[rebelmouse-image 18352932 is_animated_gif=
I went to the international [Dota 2] championship in Seattle last year as a spectator and I got to meet some people that I play the game wth all the time. We called each other our online handles [instead] of using our actual names.
You Like Bombs? I Like Bombs![rebelmouse-image 18352933 is_animated_gif=
Didn't realize I was a nerd about anything until I walked past a guy in the office watching a YouTube video that contained footage of a nuclear test explosion. "Aaah, Castle Bravo," I says. "One of my favorites."
The guy looks at me funny. I explain that Castle Bravo was the name of that particular explosion. "You recognize the explosion? And it's one of your favorites?" he replied.
Yep. I rattled off a bunch of other nuke test favorites--Storax Sedan, the gorgeous British Grapple X, Crossroads Baker, etc. I start describing the differences and nuances one can discern from watching hours of footage multiple times. I say something like, "The shape of each mushroom cloud is as distinct as a fingerprint," and notice that his eyes have glazed over, and that the room has gone silent. I look up at the room and see ten pairs of eyes staring at me like I've sprouted an extra head.
There's a long beat of silence, then a guy in the corner says, "You don't get to make fun of Star Trek ever again."
When's The Last Time We Saw Non-Virtual People[rebelmouse-image 18352934 is_animated_gif=
When my friend and I got invited to a party over the phone and had to lie about not being allowed to go out that night.
The actual reason we didn't go?? We were 25 Hours into a game of Civilizations V and desperately wanted to finish it up
But We Need To Finish Our Campaign[rebelmouse-image 18352935 is_animated_gif=
I was in the college dorms and lots of kids had gone home for a three-day weekend. Me and my friends decided we'd stay and play D&D. So we're playing, and laughing, and being all sorts of noisy.
My friend has his computer and we are simultaneously listening to funny .wav sounds on his computer (Remember "Thumper's World of Wavs"?) It was also pretty novel as it was to have a PC in a dorm at that time.
So we are being very noisy, laughing, rolling dice, and singing along at the top of our lungs to "It's log, it's log, it's big, it's heavy it's wood. It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good!"
Then there's a knock at the door. It's the security guard at the door along with a campus police officer. They thought they were going to bust us underage drinking. Instead, they open the door and we're sitting around a table with the D&D screen up, and all our character sheets out, rolling dice, and one guy at the computer with a website so 90's it could have caused an epileptic seizure if we stared at it too long.
I thought they were going injure themselves they started laughing so hard.
Boffer Means "Foam Sword"[rebelmouse-image 18352936 is_animated_gif=
One girl I knew a few years back and I were fighting with foam swords over at a friends house because she had an interest in learning swordplay, but didn't like the idea of using real metal (fear of injury). Thus why I introduced her to what LARP was and told her I had taken some fencing lessons and could teach her a little with the boffers. She picked up on things real quick and we started going at it like mad, because I told her not to hold back and she said the same thing to me.
Apparently, our grunts made my friend think we were doing something else entirely and opened the door a bit before laughing. "Oh sh-t, man. I thought you two were having sex and I was so proud for a moment."
Yeah, we both blushed super hard.
No, You Don't Get It, They're Like LEGO Warriors[rebelmouse-image 18352937 is_animated_gif=
...the day i realized i knew more about Bionicle history than i knew about WWI and WWII.
My Ringtone Is The Strongest In The Universe[rebelmouse-image 18352938 is_animated_gif=
This might be easy. I was visiting my friend in LA, we were playing a DBZ fighting game, while we had his DBZ soundtrack playing in the background.
At some point, I look at my phone and notice multiple missed calls from his wife, as did he. We were both confused since neither of us had our phone silenced.
Then we realized, we just didn't notice the calls since both of us had DBZ ringtones.
He Had Thoughts On "The Last Jedi"[rebelmouse-image 18352939 is_animated_gif=
I was at a really big party and ignored a girl to talk to a guy about DnD and Star Wars.
The Baddest "Wild Draw 4" Ever[rebelmouse-image 18352940 is_animated_gif=
Once at my friend's apartment we had the cops called on us at 9:30pm on NEW YEARS EVE. We weren't even being that loud, but he lived down the hall from some old people who apparently did not gaf. Anyway, there was a knock at the door and as my friend opens it a Cop, looking at his note pad, sternly starts off with "Yeah, we got a noise complaint here for...." and then he looks up to survey the scene: 6 sober 23 year olds sitting around a coffee table with the TV on mute. And finishes his sentence with "Wait, are you guys playing UNO*?" We were like "Uh... Yeah?" and he looks around the apartment some more. And then he kind of just sighed and said "OK, well just try to keep it down a little. Have a good night. " and left. My friend was embarrassed about his neighbors, but we all thought it was hilarious. I'm sure that cop had some actual stuff to do that night, but I hope he got to tell his buddies about the "wild nerd party" he had to bust.
Do We Know Who This Is Yet?[rebelmouse-image 18352942 is_animated_gif=
This was the summer of 2004. I was actually at a summer camp for high school nerds at a college campus and we were allowed to use the computer lab during our free time.
We all had headphones on and it was silent until one guy says "The next Harry Potter is called 'The Half Blood Prince.'" And the room pretty much erupted into a nerdy frenzy of everyone theorizing who it could be.
No Joke, That's a 40 Hour Experience...[rebelmouse-image 18352943 is_animated_gif=
The nerdiest moment of my life was when my housemate had to come up with a safeword to stop me talking about Star Wars. A few months later he agreed to watch the OT with me...he swiftly joined the Dark Side.
The nerdiest day of my life was when I completed Final Fantasy VII in a single sitting, just to prove to the back of the instruction manual that I didn't need a memory card.
Get The Puppers Involved[rebelmouse-image 18352944 is_animated_gif=
I've taught my dog that when we say "we're going on a quest" he knows that means walkies.
MUSIC NERD[rebelmouse-image 18352945 is_animated_gif=
I once redid the Fresh Prince theme in my classics class as "The Fresh Princeps of Manliana" using parts of Cicero's oration against Cataline...
When You Need To Know Everything[rebelmouse-image 18352947 is_animated_gif=
I'm currently working on a watch-through of every Star Trek show in chronological (release) order before I watch Discovery.
Lan Parties. Bringing People Together.[rebelmouse-image 18352948 is_animated_gif=
I was dating a pretty girl in HS. She didn't quite comprehend how nerdy I was.
So I had planned this 16 person Halo 1 lan party. She wanted to hang out that Sunday. I told her I had plans and she should not come, as it will be 16 nerds in my house and I will not be paying attention to her. She shows up an hour early, all the while I went on a 72-0 soul caliber run against any takers as guest arrive. She is already getting mad. I proceed to play Halo for like 6 more hours as if she is not there. So she is real mad at the end and we broke up like a month later.
Cut to about 10 years later we reconnect and we are married and she has over 200 hours on stardew valley.
Waiting In Line For Video Games[rebelmouse-image 18352949 is_animated_gif=
Maybe a bit late, but I went to the midnight release of Wrath of the Lich King (a WoW [World of Warcraft] expansion). Whilst I was queued up outside, some yobs in a car drove past and shot fireworks at us, there was probably a good 30 people in the queue outside.
As they drove off, one of the people in the queue said "Don't you just hate mages and their Arcane Missiles" That's when I realised I actively enjoy being a nerd...
When You're Nerdier Than Sheldon[rebelmouse-image 18352950 is_animated_gif=
My family had a get together not too long ago. We were playing Apples to Apples while Big Bang Theory was playing in the background.
Now, my family (for some reason) LOVES BBT. I personally find the show kind of stupid, but I digress.
At one point in the show, Sheldon is carrying a Green Lantern... um... Lantern around with him. He recites the chant a couple of times.
Now, as a die hard fan of GL, I scream at the TV: "It's BLACKEST NIGHT! NOT DARKEST NIGHT!"
My whole family broke my balls over it for weeks, because I'm apparently nerdier than a fictional TV nerd.
Video Games In Real Life[rebelmouse-image 18352951 is_animated_gif=
It has to be the time I ran a game of live-action Star Wars Battlefront for thirty middle school kids and got /really/ into it.
I worked as a camp counselor at an academic summer camp (affectionately called "nerd camp") for the last three summers. For an after-class activity, I planned out a version of Battlefront for the kids to play in an outdoor 15 v. 15 battle. They each got about 1.5-2 feet of pool noodle as their "lightsaber" and had to capture command posts by tying knots in a string / untying the other team's knots (this gave them control of nearby respawn points I marked with sidewalk chalk). If you controlled more than half the command posts for three consecutive minutes, you win, and if you get touched by a pool noodle, you have to go back to a respawn point.
So, those are the mechanics of the game, but I got really invested in the presentation of it. I wore my full Jedi robes for it, and another counselor wore my graduation robes that we were able to pass for Sith robes. I hooked up a speaker system and blasted "Duel of Fates," "Jedi Temple March," "Clash of the Heroes," and a few other Star Wars soundtrack pieces for background music. I even had an "opening crawl" spiel setting up the background story for the battle (using the Battle of Ruusan from the EU), which I rehearsed and timed with the music of the opening crawl from the movies.
Whenever the game was getting too unbalanced, one of the counselors would join in... and I just so happened to do this while the camp photographer was nearby. So, there are about a hundred consecutive shots of me shouting, "Jedi Master /u/Aegon_Targaryen_VII has joined the battle!" and charging into crowds of middle-schoolers with pool noodles to lightsaber-duel them while I'm in full costume.
It was glorious.
TFW You Roll 3 20s In A Row[rebelmouse-image 18352952 is_animated_gif=
Tbh, when playing Dnd about a year ago in a dorm, we ended up getting a noise compliant from 3 floors up because someone got 3 nat 20s in a row.
You Only Win With 40 Elves[rebelmouse-image 18347262 is_animated_gif=
The first time a girl sent me a naked picture on snapchat I panicked and replied with a picture of the game of Magic the Gathering I was playing
Epic. We must know more. IE did you eventually score
I scored very highly in that game as I recall. I used my elf deck.
Salutations And Farewells[rebelmouse-image 18352953 is_animated_gif=
It was March 4, 2008. The day Gary Gygax died.
Gary invented Dungeons & Dragons, and since that game is such a big part of my life I decided I had to do something. I got my gaming buddy Duane, gathered our supplies and headed to the woods.
We found a small group of five trees and scrawled a shoddy pentagram in between. In the center we built a small pile of twigs and atop the ghetto altar we placed a bright orange D20. As we set the pile ablaze, we solemnly filled a Burger King promotional Lord of the Rings collectible goblet (it was the Frodo one) with Mt. Dew and drank until the tiny fire went out. We scooped up the melted plastic and it sits to this day on a shelf with all the dragon miniatures I own.
SPOILERS: It Was Awful[rebelmouse-image 18352955 is_animated_gif=
Moved to England to try to work on Star Wars Episode 1. Was not successful, but I came close. Went to Italy. Visited La Reggia Di Caserta to see Amidala's throne room (which is really just a connecting hallway in a government building).
Moved home. Camped, over night, in tents, in costume, to get SW: Episode 1 tickets. Got tickets. Camped, over night, in tents, in costume, to see SW:Episode 1 (because back then, the theater didn't have online ticket sales, or reserve seating). Interviewed in costume by several local news stations.
Got in, got an okay seat. Very excited to see the movie, had stayed successfully spoiler free the whole way. With about an hour to wait, I walked outside to enjoy the moment as my friends were there to save my seat for me. Guy walks up, asks for a light. I used to carry a zippo even though I didn't smoke. He goes, "Can you believe they kill Darth Maul in this movie?"
Slapped a guy I didn't know in the face for ruining a Star Wars plot point, knocking the cigarette I had just lit for him out of his mouth. We both looked at the cigarette for a second, when I stomped it out. "I guess I deserved that," he said, before walking away.
He did deserve that.
I still can't believe I once took Star Wars so seriously that I moved to another country and then smacked someone over it.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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