There's nothing more embarrassing than laughing at a story someone just told, or a question someone just asked, under the assumption that they were joking.
Only to realize a few seconds later that they weren't joking.
It happens to the best of us.
In some cases, these can be bizarre stories which we might laugh about months or years down the road.
Though more often than not, we immediately feel a foot slamming into our mouth with a vengeance.
Redditor tatemalia was eager to hear the wildest, most embarrassing of these unfortunate moments, leading them to ask:
"What's your 'Oh..You're not joking' moment?"
Oh, bless your heart.
"Had an old lady ask me when her dog would grow its leg back after an amputation."- Moctor_Drignall
Don't mind if I do
"I was eating ice cream and an old guy walking into the ice cream parlor said, 'Oh, that looks good! I'm gonna get a spoon'."
"I smiled and laughed awkwardly, until his damn spoon was in my ice cream."- KnittingTrekkie
Feedback is greatly appreciated
"It was when I met up with an online friend for the first time."
"It was surprisingly more fun than I thought it would be."
"By the end of the night, as we were waiting to get served at a restaurant, she looked at me and asked how I thought our outing went."
"I told her that I had a great time."
"But that didn't seem to do it for her."
"She proceeded to tell me about how she does this thing, at the end of every outing with her friends, where she rates and gives feedback on how well it went, what didn't go so well, and what could do with some improvement for next time."
"I laughed it off, thinking she was joking."
"It all felt too robotic and school-like for me to take seriously."
"But she definitely was serious."
"I told her to go first so I could get an idea of what she wanted and, I kid you not, she whipped out her phone and started drafting up multiple paragraphs for about 7 minutes or so."
"I felt so awkward because it was also 7 minutes of pure silence and deep concentration."
"Thankfully, I had to leave mid-way because I was needed elsewhere."
"I told her to just text me her thoughts when she was done but she insisted that that wasn't the way to do it, and it HAD to be done in person."
"I still can't believe this is something her and her friends regularly do."- reigndrops17
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We'll take the house, no need for a bag.
"Working in a catalog store in the UK."
"You pick from the catalog, we bring it out from the warehouse."
"Lady comes in and orders the single largest thing we keep in store."
"A shed. "
"Not a particularly big shed as sheds go, but still a shed."
"'Ok madam if you give me your vehicle's registration number I'll tell the security guys to let you round the back of the store'."
"'Park in bay five and we'll load it for you'."
"'What are you talking about?'"
"'You have to park around back so we can load it into your vehicle'."
"'I don't have a vehicle'."
"'Oh, well, we have the numbers for some white van men and taxi services if you'd like to...'"
"'No just bring it up, Keith can carry it'."
"She indicates a portly man of around 50 across the room'."
"We got it into the lift diagonally, though it trapped a man behind it, and when it came up she said 'what on earth is that?'"
"'That's your shed, madam'."
"'My Keith can't carry that!'"
"'Yeah no sh*t, would you like me to call a van service for you?'"
"She actually just got a refund and left."- reverendmalerik
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That's not yours, its mine!
"I work at a hotel."
"We have this regular who comes, but usually makes reservations ahead of time, and she has her 'favorite' room she tries to get."
"Well one day she walked in, asking for a room."
"I had rooms available, but not the one she wanted, and she replied 'oh, call the guests in that room and tell them to move out so I can have it'."
"I seriously thought that was a joke and I played along, saying 'I'll get right on that,' as I was getting her info in the computer."N
"All of a sudden she said, 'aren't you going to call them?'"
"'Call who?'"
"'Those guests in that room so I can have it'."
"'Oh, you really weren't joking'."
"I told her that we don't do that, if she wanted that room she needed to call ahead."
"'I have a room, I know it's not your preferred room but it's all I've got, and you can take it or leave it, but I'm not moving a guest out'."
"She seemed almost taken aback by that, but I told her that if she didn't take the room I had she wouldn't get anything."
"She calls ahead now, but I was mortified and shocked she actually tried this stunt, and actually meant it."- llcucf80
What is the meaning of this?!
"Used to work at a big bank that bought out another, somewhat smaller but still pretty big bank about 10 years ago."
"Some guy came in all pissed off because we didn't send him a new debit card with the new bank's logo on it."
"They intentionally made it so the old ones would continue working until they were originally set to expire."
Said it was "'embarrassing'."
"'I can't be the only person who's gotten upset over this, right?'"
"Yeah homie, you were."- giantgoose
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Nah, I just do this for fun...
"Back at an old job, retail, I was wearing the uniform with the company name plastered across the front while on a ladder working on a project."
"A customer comes up to me and very seriously looks up and goes 'do you work here'?"
"I just looked at her dumbfounded and judging on her expression change, I'm guessing she quickly realized how dumb that question was."-
That's what you get for skipping math...
"I was talking to my friend the other day about smart people and he said 'the smartest equation that I know is force x acceleration = mass'."
"I said 'good one'."
"He said 'good what?'"- unhollow_knight
Oof...
"My friend said his dad left so I went on with 'oh yeah what kind of b*tches your daddy getting in the milk section at Walmart?'"
"He looked at me with the most hurt look in his eyes."- Limp_Law_3432
A rare, genuine friend.
"Met someone in an 'among us' chat one day and we got along really well."
"We played so many games together and built enough trust to exchange numbers and talk in messages In the game."
"She always talked about how she was a teen mom with twins I always chalked it up to her faking it to protect her identity from online strangers."
"Something I, and probably many others, are guilty of."
"Anyways we talked for a while before she sent me pictures of her with her babies."
"It sunk it that she wasn't lying and she proved it even more by face timing me."
"Her girls were adorable and I'll never forget that friend."
"Unfortunately I lost the phone we met on and I haven't been able to contact her since."- illbehomesoon2027
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Customer service at its finest...
"This isn’t a biggie but it left me kinda annoyed."
"I was at the gym and had just started using some equipment when a trainer and his client come over to me."
"Trainer asked how long I’d be."
"I said I just started but I’d be about 10-15 more minutes."
"Trainer looks at me and said 'I’ll give you 5 minutes'.”
"I laughed, thinking he was joking."
"He didn’t laugh."
"He just said 'Go', and walked away with his client."
"Client didn’t say a word."
"I took the time I needed."- DashfulVanilla
What were they going to do with it?
"I was the silly person in this story but that’s okay."
" I was getting my blood drawn and asked if I was able to have my blood back after they tested it."
"The woman looked at me and laughed, assuming I was joking."
"It took her about 10 seconds to realize I wasn’t joking…"- bossybxtch
The children were in such good hands
"I had just started working at my current job about a month prior to this."
"A coworker and I were talking about favorite books when a younger coworker walked in and said, 'oh, I don't believe in books'."
"We laughed...she didn't."
"So I said, but...they exist, see?"
"Picked up several books to show her. She rolled her eyes and said, 'well I know books really exist, but I don't believe in reading"
"...uh...we're working at a school, proooobably not the best place to denounce books."- DishyPanHands
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What world are they living in"
"When someone asked me 'Who won the civil war?'"- PothierM
It's easy to understand how these poor people thought what they had just heard was a joke.
One imagines, going forward, they might wait to laugh until after the people they were talking to start laughing.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.