Being a lawyer means you're always walking a tightrope.
Who knows if a client is being completely honest.
How many courtroom dramas have we watched where there is a last minute twist that upends the entire case?
Even in real life, courtroom crazy plays out in real time.
Redditor 6packobeer wanted to hear from lawyers about all the drama in court and they couldn't help but ask everyone to share:
"Lawyers of Reddit, what was your 'oh s**t' moment in court?"
If you watch the lawyers on TV it all looks so enticing. Even when they're sandbagged by clients.
Thanks, buddy!
idiots GIFGiphy"Not me but my former law partner. She was in court representing a client, I think in a hearing for a restraining order against her soon-to-be-ex-husband. Our client was telling the judge that when they met to exchange the children for visitation, the ex had kicked her. He immediately angrily shouted 'she can't prove it, I didn't leave a mark!" Thanks, buddy!"
DaniKnowsBest
How did you get a medical license?
"Sat in on a personal injury case where the plaintiff broke their leg in an accident and had a doctor on the stand as an expert. The woman's lawyer begins questioning the doctor about their experience with leg injuries (he was a well known orthopedic surgeon in the area)."
"She asks if he's ever treated a tibula fracture (the leg bones are tibia and fibula) to which he only answers 'no' then she starts grilling him with questions about the tibula."
"After about 6-7 questions she asks 'How did you get a medical license and have been able to practice medicine this long if you've never treated a tibula fracture?' And begins a small rant about going after his credentials and those that gave it to him, to which he simply responds 'there is no bone named the tibula.'"
"The lawyer became beet red and everyone in the room tried their best to keep from laughing including the judge."
bang-a-rang47
Pain
"I was representing a plaintiff in a hit and run case. Plaintiff is testifying and is, despite me preparing them for several hours the previous day, an absolutely terrible witness for her own case. Like, she couldn’t even identify the street she was crossing when she was hit by the car."
"It was a major highway and we had gone through the sequence of events countless times the day before the hearing."
"The “oh sh*t” moment came during cross examination. Defense counsel pulls out a picture of my client dressed up and ready to hit the club which was posted to Facebook the day after the alleged accident."
"I, thinking quickly, object because the timestamp refers to when it was posted, not when it was taken. Defense counsel show the picture to my client and asked her when the picture was taken. Sure enough, they say it was taken the day after the accident when she was supposedly in unbearable pain."
"Oh. Sh*t."
DoctorTargaryen
fatal shots...
"When I was in college, I was a bailiff. Guy is on trial for murder. First witness testified that she saw the defendant shoot the victim. Second witness states the same. Police officer testimony is that he arrived at the scene and defendant was there holding the gun."
"Coroner testimony is that the first bullet hit the victim in the arm, the second bullet hit the victim in the torso and the third bullet hit the victim in the heart which was the fatal shot.
"Defendant yells out 'see that proves that I didn't kill him, I only shot the motherf**ker twice.'"
Mynameisinuse
Fraud
bonnie gordon GIF by AlphaGiphy"I was at a hearing arguing that my client was wrongfully terminated because the employer failed to abide by the proper procedures."
"During the hearing a witness for the employer tried to offer documents that were fraudulently altered in order to make it look like the proper procedure was followed. I noticed the alteration. opposing counsel quickly got that witness out of the room, and after a quick adjournment, my client got a large settlement."
mincerray
If I was a lawyer I'd object to everything. For fun mostly.
I Object
Season 1 Lawyers GIF by Law & OrderGiphy"Opposing counsel was a nightmare. Everything late, his work was extremely subpar, and so forth. Accused me of lying multiple times when he had dropped the ball."
"During another hearing in which he did another dumb move, judge says 'I’m glad you are the last case on the call, and all of the other attorneys have left the room, so they aren’t here to hear me say that you are a terrible attorney.'"
Dbo81
Bad Boss
"Not mine but my bosses one..."
"She had to defend a small time delinquent as duty solicitor. Before going to court he asked her what he should do; she explained to him if he was cooperative and truthful his sentence would be milder. After hearing the case the judge asked him if he wanted to add something."
"He got up and explained to the judge: 'my counsel told me to be truthful, so I wanted to tell you that I not only did the robbery I'm being heard for but also several others in the region.'"
"He continued to admit to several robberies that had been unsolved yet and everyone, even the state attorney were facepalming."
ComradeCatilina
Explained everything...
"Literally the first thing I ever did, was just a law student intern. Guy has a legit defense on a drug possession case. Drugs found in a jacket, guy wasn't wearing jacket, they were going to have a very difficult time proving the jacket belonged to my guy."
"Had a long meeting with client. Explained everything. Client was excited."
"Day of the preliminary hearing, guy shows up and sits down directly in front of the officer who arrested him..."
"...while wearing the jacket in question, the exact same jacket we were going to say they couldn't prove belonged to him."
cuthman99
Thanks Dad. I owe you one...
"Probably the funniest one I ever came across happened to a colleague. We were prosecutors then. 18 year old defendant applying for bail. He needed a residential address and got his dad to show up at court to confirm that the family home was available to him. Defence lawyer gets old dad to confirm that son can stay at family home. Dad says yes. My fellow prosecutor gets up and asks dad - do you really want him home? Dad goes off the deep end. ‘Jesus."
"The grief he’s brought me and his mother. Out all hours. Taking drugs. Hiding stolen property in the garage. All night parties. I’m on anti-depressants and the wife’s had a nervous breakdown.’ Dad goes off on one for five solid minutes. As the defendant gets taken back to the cells, he calls out ‘Thanks Dad. I owe you one.’"
Good to Know
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"During jury selection. 'I can’t be a juror due to the fact I’m kinda racist.'"
Jasper_Probincrux
Now I wish I had been a lawyer.
We've all heard creepy rumors or legends that have made falling to sleep far more challenging than necessary.
Such as ghosts that supposedly haunt old buildings or alligators supposedly lurking in sewer systems.
If there's anything guaranteed to send shivers down the spine of superstitious or panic-stricken individuals, it's learning that the terrifying information they've just been told is fact, and not fiction.
Making one nervous to step out their door in the morning, let alone fall asleep.
Redditor mimiqttt was eager to hear the most utterly spine-tingling facts people knew, leading them to ask:
"What are some creepy facts you know?"
For The Sake Of Transparency...
"Box Jellyfish are not only the most venomous jellies to humans, but they also possess at least 24 functional eyes (of various degree) on its body despite having no centralized brain."
"Four of its eyes always peer up out of the water regardless of the animal's body position."
"Some eyes can make out images, others are more primitive."- Southern_Gator
The Last Thing You'll Ever Hear...
"Hearing is the last sense you lose before dying."- HorrorPusherr
Talk About Keeping You Up At Night...
"Hundreds of people die every year."
"From being strangled by their bedsheets."- bender0x7d1
Sunny Day Bed GIF by VVS FILMSGiphySay Cheese!
"If all bacteria in a cheese decided to move in the same direction the cheese would move quite a distance in a day."- Worldly-Traffic-5503
Deserving Of A Raised Brow...
"Due to human artificial selection, dogs are evolving eyebrows."- Light_of_Niwen
Beyond An Existential Problem...
"There is a condition where you just think you’re dead or don’t exist."
"People who have it sometimes stop eating because they think they’re dead."- BlueCanary434
Sad Halloween GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphyAmong The Many Reasons You Should Always Knock...
"One of the most common places to find a dead body is on the toilet."
"Cause when they're alive and not feeling well, the first thing they do is go to the toilet thinking it could be a bowel issue."-pumpkinthighs
Dubious Honor...
"Herculaneum is better preserved than Pompeii, it just hasn't been excavated as much."
"Pompeii was essentially destroyed by falling volcanic rock, it's dead later being buried by ash after rigor had set in."
"Herculaneum was destroyed by pyroclastic flows so hot that the liquids in people's bodies turned to vapor and exploded instantly."
"Currently, the population in the area is so large that the Italian government is having a hard time deciding whether or not it's worth it to warn or evacuate them or not."-Reddit
Can't Say It Ran In The Family
"In a strange and semi creepy coincidence, Robert Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was saved from falling off a train platform and being run over by Edwin Booth, brother of John Wilkes Booth."- Infamous-Piece3783
train tracks natgeo channel GIF by National Geographic ChannelGiphyA Job Not Fit For The Human Race.
"Cadaver dogs can smell bodies through waters."
"Lakes , etc."- PlaysTheTriangle
...BWAHAHAHAHAHA...
"If you build something in your yard against HOA rules, then it’s called an unwanted erection."- thecookiesmonster
When Your Body Starts Gaining Up On You...
"Your eyes have their own immune system that works separately from your body’s immune system."
"If your body’s immune system found out it would attack your eyes."
"I read this here and at my last eye appointment I asked if it was true."
"The eye doctor said 'Yeah, it’s kinda weird' and I was like 'kinda?'"- McSmackthe1st
Eyes Blink GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphyPretty And Delicate On The Outside...
"If given access to it, butterflies will happily drink blood."- supermarketblues
The Only Thing Scarier Than One Black Hole...
"During the merger of two black holes, a black holes can occasionally get ejected from the system and get shot out into open space and become a wandering black hole."
"The creepy part for me is that because a large part of the way in which we see black holes is through their interactions with their surroundings we wouldn’t really be able to see it coming towards us."- rflok34
Vanity Is A Sin, After All...
'Everyone who has ever owned the HOPE DIAMOND has met some sort of gruesome, untimely death."- QuietRulrOfEvrything
diamond supply GIFGiphyThe world is a fascinating, often terrifying place.
Perhaps why some people firmly believe ignorance is bliss.
On the other hand, knowledge is power.
So if you see a school of jellyfish, you all now know better than to think they can't also see you...
Do you ever use a product and wonder... "Who in the world thought this would work?"
That seems to be an issue with a lot of items in life.
Like, who designed all these extra dinner forks?
It's all too confusing when you just want to eat a salad and a steak.
Let me keep my fork.
You're wasting water on all the cleaning.
Think before you create.
Redditor DongLaiCha wanted to discuss some products that may need more in-field research, so they asked:
"What products are clearly made by people or companies who never actually use them?"
Remember CDs?
It was easier to break into the Pentagon than open that plastic wrapping.
Who thought that idea up?
Too Dry
Hair Bathing GIFGiphy"I swear that people who design some shampoo and conditioner bottles have never tried to use them while wet."
danarexasaurus
Assessments
"Elementary state assessments. They are the most obtuse, poorly written, unrealistic questions on earth. They enrage me. They are clearly written by people who either have zero experience in elementary education or haven’t had any in a decade or so."
meadow_chef
"I have a BA in English and couldn't figure out one of the answers to my child's third-grade ELA state test practice. I spoke to the teacher about it and she sounded so defeated about the testing. There's no way to prepare children for a test when the questions and answers are so poorly written that the students, their teacher, and the parents can't pick the correct answer."
DistractedHouseWitch
Cheap and Expensive
"A few years ago we wanted a coffee maker with a slightly larger carafe. The only 14-cup one we could find at a reasonable price was branded with Drew Barrymore's name. Whatever, we bought it. It was the worst kitchen device I've ever owned. The interface to set the clock, program it, etc. was absolutely baffling to use, never seemed to do the same thing twice."
"The instructions were apparently written by whatever guy at the factory had a cousin who'd seen an American TV show once. And when it actually did somehow make coffee, it came out shriekingly hot, to where I would put a couple of ice cubes into my travel mug when I left for work just to get it down to drinkable temperature."
Fabulous-Quality-282
Flip It
"Those who make the 'pull this flip to open' on plastic packaging of cold cuts."
MissNatdah
"Similarly, the people who make 'resealable' packages of food products where you have to cut it open in a certain place, but cutting there either results in: A) the package still being sealed closed, or B) ruining the internal sealing zipper. I have this issue with the frozen dumplings I buy and no matter what I do, I have NEVER been able to reseal the package as advertised and have to resort to a chip clip."
pls_send_caffeine
Punch a Hole
Mac And Cheese Eating GIF by Megan BatoonGiphy"The 'push here to open' spot on Kraft Mac and Cheese."
coop_doop
"Whenever I get a different brand I just punch a hole in the same spot out of habit. It’s about exactly as hard to do as with the Kraft ones. So they might as well take out the perforating step and save .001¢/box in the production process."
Reaper_Messiah
Why do they want to keep our Mac and Cheese from us?
Give me my meal!!
Tearing Sheets
office paper GIFGiphy"Those toilet paper holders in public toilets that cut off at two sheets."
theshortlady
"Same area: those paper towel dispensers that require a two-handed pull, commonly leaving you with two little torn-off triangles of paper in your hands."
repowers
Useless
"Zebra printers. I swear Zebra customer service is useless. I've had to call the help desks for the specific companies I've worked for because the Zebra CS is just like 'Huh!?'"
monotoonz
"We wrote our own internal manuals for how to setup, manage, and troubleshoot Zebra printers. It includes helpful information like 'Do not call Zebra about this issue, instead, see Appendix A' (which is screenshots of conversations about how it is is a known issue and the resolution should be coming shortly (dated 2016))."
001235
City Life
"Maybe a bit off-topic, but in a meeting with a former colleague of mine, the person in charge of the metro for a nearby city admitted that he had never used the metro. Not that he didn’t use the metro, but that he had never used it in his life, even once. I suspect that this kind of thing isn’t uncommon for government services."
KireGoTI
"Similar story. A lifelong friend of didn’t even know we had a Metro until a recent expansion meant she had to drive a different way into her office. She works for the city council."
TheKingMonkey
Warn You
"Hospital beds. From the standpoint of the person who has to push it around and mess with rails that get caught in the mattress and plug it in with a long dirty cord that gets mixed up with another random cord that no one knows its purpose. No retractable cords so they constantly drag on the ground and try to trip you when pushing the bed."
"Brakes that are in the most awkward position that you have to invert your knee to reach with your foot. And worst, the screeching, ear-piercing alarm that they emit to 'warn you' that the bed is not locked. Hospital beds are obnoxious."
Agitated-Effort3423
Help Please
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno CalypsoGiphy"Customer-facing software. Developers should be required to hire grandmas under the explicit condition that if grandma can't look at a menu option and decide what to click without giving up and calling the help desk your functionality has failed."
Puzzleheaded-Bat8657
I can't even begin to get into software options.
It brings back too much PTSD.