Lawyers Reveal Their Best "I Rest My Case" Moments
The defense rests!
Lawyers are not the most popular people in the world and they don't care. They are there to win and claim victory at any cost. Half of the time you have to wonder... do they actually love lawyering or just flat out winning?
Lawyers are not the most popular people in the world and they don't care. They are there to win and claim victory at any cost. Half of the time you have to wonder... do they actually love lawyering or just flat out winning?
It's a bloodthirsty, competitive career not for the faint of heart.In the end all lawyers can recall their best moments when they knew they had a lock!
Redditor movierevision wanted lawyers to talk about... Lawyers of Reddit, what is the most bada** "I rest my case" moment you ever witnessed?
Stupid is as stupid does....
My mum was a personal injury solicitor, and she was basically trying to prove that the car that hit her client and caused life changing injuries (brain damage) belonged to X.
X at first pretends not to live where he does, then the car is found abandoned all wiped down. The trail seems to end. Then, my mum has a hunch and checks X's facebook.
He had a public profile, and his profile picture was his standing next to the car in question. She screenshots them and sends them to the opposing counsel with a slightly more politely worded 'your client is dumb.' She's retired now but she considers it to be one of the most satisfying moments of her career.
Needless to say, she won the case and her client got a million pound settlement and is now living in Spain. All for the want of a simple privacy setting and a touch of common sense.
Where there is smoke... there's crack!
This just happened in a tenancy arbitration yesterday.
I evicted a tenant for being a small time dealer. She disputed it, and we had a tenancy arbitration. I submitted video of people walking up to her window like a Burger Crack drive-through, plus brought in her neighbor as a witness. The hearing is conducted over the phone.
The witness testified that she smelled crack smoke, and had a constant stream of drug addicts buzzing her intercom and knocking on her door, looking for her neighbor. As in, 5-10 per hour sometimes. The tenant got a chance to cross-examine the witness and her first question, in an excited "gotcha" type voice was: "So, how do you know what crack smoke smells like?"
Witness response, without skipping a beat:
"Before we had our baby my husband was a drug user. He also bought from you and smoked it in your apartment, so that's how we know what it smells like."
These people live among us!
Two guys were being tried for robbing a gas station. A customer who saw the robbery was now on the witness stand. The prosecutor asked him to describe what he saw. He said that he saw two guys robbing the store and then running out, and one of them bumped into him. Then the prosecutor looked at the two perps and said "Are those two men in the court room today?"
At which point, the two idiots raised their hands. Case closed.
Do you not hear yourself Sir?
For a while my mother dated a man who really liked to act like a big shot. He was a guy that claimed to know a guy where ever you went. Any time you wanted something he would say "Oh wait, let's go to [store name] I'll talk to owner and get you a deal."
Nearly every time he did, the owner seemed like he wasn't entirely sure who this guy was.
He would do stuff like insist on taking the whole family on a vacation, or take everyone to a fancy restaurant. Or he would show up with expensive gifts out of the blue, like new electronics or guitars. Eventually the relationship ends, but not long after we find out he's taking us to court because we owe him money.
Court date comes, he presents his case first. He goes through a huge itemized list of every item he ever bought us. Every single item, from a vending machine coke, to a new sink because he broke the old one. Even a birthday cake bought for the youngest child. Once he's done, the judge asks if there was an agreement to be paid back for any of that. He says it was just an understanding.
The judge asks specifically if he ever said he wanted to be paid back. He says no, that usually when someone buys you something you pay them back. The judge then explained that no, infact that's not usually how gifts work, and that by his own admission there was never an expectation to pay for anything.
So after his own testimony, the case was closed. He then appealed. Again he presented his testimony first. Again, closed by his own words.
The Strangest 'Wrong Number' Stories | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Before we all had caller ID, wrong numbers phone calls were commonplace. But now that almost everyone screens their calls, it's wrong number texts that have ...Deep breaths and a Xanax friend...
A colleague of mine was cross-examining a guy in a family law trial, probing him on his anger issues. He quickly got so angry enough he tried to pick up the chair and throw it at her.
(The chair was bolted to the ground.)
Signs need to be visible.
A little late but this is one of my Dad's favorite stories.
So he is out of state on business driving though some no name town when he goes through an intersection. Suddenly a cop pulls him over stating that he ran a stop sign and ticketed him. My dad insisted there was not any stop sign but the cop did not listen. Pissed, he went back to the intersection and saw that there was a stop sign hidden behind a tree and twisted in the wrong direction!
Even more pissed he went to a convenience store that was in sight of the intersection and bought a disposable camera while the clerk laughed because he saw what happened and knew what was up.
Luckily, my dad had to be back there in a few weeks for work. The cop assumed that someone with out of state plates would just pay the ticket and they were shocked when my dad turned up in court, calmly presented his evidence to the judge and strolled out in 5 minutes scott free.
I got you on camera! I got you on satellite!
Working as a paralegal. Divorce case, hired by wife. Husband insists he never had an affair with their female friend.
Days later. Paralegal in charge asks me to show paralegal intern how to do property search. Last address in mind is the possible mistress. Type in address, look at deed, get parcel, even get a satellite photo. This is important. I print up satellite photo.
Attorneys meet. Our boss L asks, "Mr Husband, you insist you never had an affair with Ms Woman, correct?"
H: That's correct.
L: Did you ever go to her house for anything?
H: No. I can't remember where she lives.
L: Mm hmm. So between the dates of blah and blah you never visited her residence?
H: (annoyed) No, never.
L: What vehicle do you drive?
H: Ford (something big like F-350).
L: What color?
H: White.
L: Anything in that truck bed?
H: Toolbox.
L: Silver, the kind that's bolted in place?
H: Yeah?
L: Do your truck and toolbox look anything like the ones at Ms. Woman's house in this satellite photo taken on such-and-such date?
H: Damn...
Summary: Husband swears he never visited the house of his alleged mistress, only to be caught by a satellite photo.
But they matched my outfit...
In criminal docket court one morning the accused wore a pair of very unique custom made red cowboy boots... stolen from the house he was accused of robbing. Wore them. To court. To plead not guilty. The prosecutor was laughing.
Shhh... no quiet... it's all over hun!
My wife and not me, and it was during sentencing.
"Mr. Defendant (local gang boss), you stated you are not and have never been in a gang."
"That's correct."
"Do you have any tattoos?"
"Yeah, I have a tiger on my calf and one on my chest that says GD 4 Life?"
"What does GD stand for?
"Gangster Disciples. . . but, I mean. . . ."
"No further questions, you honor."
You might want to get some glasses...
When I was in law school, I clerked for a criminal defense legal clinic. We had an assault and battery case where there was only one witness to the crime, which was the victim.
I was sitting at the defense table with the actual attorney, another law student that worked on the case with me, and the defendant. We were all in similar looking suits as a matter of unplanned coincidence.
The victim was asked to identify the person who committed the assault in court and she pointed to me and not the defendant.
Our attorney asked several times if she was really pointing to me and if she was sure, and she said yes. The prosecutor was visibly upset and the trial pretty much ended there as this was a bench trial and not with a jury.
It was never discussed or admitted to, but I suspect our attorney purposefully had me there at the trial because I did have a passing resemblance of the defendant.
How high can you count?
A friend told me this story. He's not a lawyer but was job shadowing or something and was in court for the day. Anyway, one of the cases was a girl contesting a stop sign violation.
The prosecutor asked how long she was stopped at the stop sign and the girl responds 40-50 seconds. The prosecutor asks her to look at the clock in the court room and proceeds to stay silent for the next 30 seconds, which is a really long time.
Once the 30 seconds is up, the prosecutor looks back at her and says were you really stopped 40-50 seconds and the girl was basically silent. I'm pretty sure she was found guilty.
Know the car make friends...
Not me, but a buddy who is a DUI attorney. In the state he practiced in being in the car with the keys in the ignition, even if the engine isn't running, is considered a DUI (if you're intoxicated.)
Had a client come in, told his story to my buddy, the buddy goes to the DA after discovery and says "Don't take this to trial!" DA says "Yeah, right."
In court, he gets the State Trooper who made the arrest up on the stand and the Trooper says under oath "I saw with my own two eyes that the keys were in the ignition."
Buddy gives the cop several tries to walk it back. Then has it read into the record that the car was a Prius.
BOOM. Instant dismissal and the Statie got into some trouble.
Late to the show, but I used to be a domestic violence advocate, and helped victims get protective orders against their abusers.
At one hearing, my client told her story of abuse, him hitting her after an argument. The judge asked him, so did you hit her? Is her story true. He says, and I quote, "now Judge, it was just a little Love Tap, you know how it is."
The judge blinked twice, stunned, slammed his gavel, and granted her petition.
These two yutes....
Kind of applies, I'd suppose.
I practice mostly criminal defense. I, fairly recently, had a client who, after pleading guilty to a theft charge, contested the amount of restitution owed. Essentially the client said, I stole some stuff but I didn't steal all of that stuff.
The victim had to come to court to prove the value of the things he alleged were stolen. Some of those things (that my client denied having touched, much less stolen) were rare and valuable coins.
To support his claim, he brought a statement purporting to be from a local coin dealer with the type of coin listed and its value.
I knew nothing about coins, but I knew the judge knew a lot about coins, having collected them for years. The DA asks his questions.
I muddle through my questions. Then the judge said he had some questions, and verbally ripped this guy's list to shreds. Stuff like, "You expect me to believe that blah blah blah coin in blah blah condition is worth $250 when I can go online right now and find the same coin for $36?"
I just sat back like Vincent LaGuardia Gambini while Mona Lisa Vito was being voir dired. It was wonderful to watch.
Mic. Drop.
The best I've got was an auto accident case. The police report claims my client was proceeding through a red light, and got t-boned in the passenger side. My client claims they were proceeding through a green light and got t-boned in the driver's side by someone else who was running the red.
I asked to approach the bench and showed the judge and opposing counsel the police report. It included a sketch of how the cop said the accident happened. Then I showed the prosecutor the pictures I had of my client's vehicle, with the giant dent in the driver's side where my client says they were hit.
The prosecutor points out that the police diagram shows my client being knocked into a telephone pole, so of course there's a dent. I flip forward to a picture confirming the dent in the opposite side, then back to the picture of the driver's side. And the closer up picture of the driver's side. Which includes a mostly legible imprint of the "victim's" license plate.
The prosecutor hemmed and hawed and said he wanted to talk to his officer. The judge told him he could do that, but also, that he might want to consider whether he could ethically pursue this case. He went off for a few minutes then came back and dismissed.
I don't know that I handled that optimally (I mostly do civil work, talking things out is what I'm good at, I don't know how an experienced criminal defense pro would have handled it and any reading this are very possibly cringing hard at my work) but it got the job done without a trial.
How about, instead of the most "I rest my case" moment, the most dumb "I rest my case" moment? This is civil so its more my forte.
Opposing counsel malpracticed. Its hard to call it anything but that. He had plenty of time to answer a complaint, but didn't file an answer and didn't ask for an extension. Its now several months later and default judgment has been granted against his client.
He moves to reopen the case. In theory this is hard to get, but everyone hates my client so its not as hard as its supposed to be. He claims that a case tracking error occurred due to unfamiliar case management software, and that this should count as excusable error.
He moves to reopen the case. In theory this is hard to get, but everyone hates my client so its not as hard as its supposed to be. He claims that a case tracking error occurred due to unfamiliar case management software, and that this should count as excusable error.
In short- if his mistake was excusable error (it wasn't) and his client would be really harmed (probably) then the case can reopen. If he just malpracticed then no.
We're alone in the small town court. The judge comes in wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, and just walks up to us and starts talking about how he doesn't want to put anything on the record if we don't need to, sure, opposing counsel CAN go on record and argue his motion if he really wants, but maybe we can all talk about this, and maybe my client is open to negotiation without technically reopening the case... I'm not going to go into the reasons but that wasn't a crazy thing to suggest- my client may have been better off with an agreement than with the judgment we already had.
Opposing counsel says he wants to go on record.
The judge says... really? Reeeeeeaaally? He's read the briefs and he understands what happened, and he's not going to maaaaaaaake opposing counsel go on record.
Opposing counsel wants to go on record.
Judge leaves and comes back in robes.
Opposing counsel speaks first because its his motion, and details, in what is now about to lead to a formal and written court ruling, how he malpracticed.
The judge says, "That doesn't sound like excusable error, that sounds like malpractice." End scene.
Your turn Sir...
I heard about a deposition in a personal injury case where there was a question about whether or not the plaintiff used illegal drugs.
Defense lawyer: Do you now or have you ever used illegal drugs?
Plaintiff: No.
Defense lawyer: Is cocaine an illegal drug?
Plaintiff: Yes.
Defense lawyer (shows plaintiff a document): So, how do you explain this drug screen where you tested positive for cocaine?
Plaintiff (gets serious because he's about to make this lawyer feel terrible): Sir, as I'm sure you're aware, I have a medical condition that requires me to have a catheter in my bladder. The pharmacy puts a form of cocaine in the lubricant so that it numbs my penis when I have to put the catheter in.
Defense lawyer (pulls out another document): Sooooo, do you also put crystal meth and marijuana in your penis? Because this other drug screen I have here ...
I have two. One my own, and one someone else's.
In mine, my client was accused of not leaving this woman alone when she wanted no contact with him. He swore that they were dating, and she'd call the police when she got mad.
She swore she wanted nothing to do with him. She had a photo on her phone of him sitting on her porch, to prove that he'd come around without her consent.
I asked permission from the judge to look at the photos before and after to get context. Lo and behold, she had hundreds of photos of him. Eating dinner with her, sitting on her couch, wearing her undergarments... It was glorious.
We're done here...
During my divorce, my Ex was on the stand lying her butt off about how she was totally not using drugs and having an affair with an underaged child being present in the home.
Her lover was outside because my attorney subpoenaed him and he HAD to be there. My attorney grilled him and what he said contradicted what my Ex was saying at least a dozen times.
Then my attorney put her back on the stand and made her admit every single lie she told the judge. Her closing argument was basically that mom is a liar and has zero credibility.
I was awarded primary custody of our child, the house, child support, AND her druggie boyfriend is not allowed within 500 yards of the child. That was pretty awesome.
We've all made clumsy mistakes that we know could have been avoided had we used a little bit more good judgment and common sense.
Thankfully, these silly mistakes don't usually harm others or ourselves.
This is why it's hard to see people knowingly perform reckless or dangerous activities which they know might have serious consequences.
While we don't usually wish these people ill, we also have a hard time feeling bad for them, as they knew what they were getting themselves in for.
As some people might say, they "f*cked around and found out" or "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiracle
Never Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Reddit
Sharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
Clown Behavior
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124
They Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"Just once."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatus
No One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...
Being horny can lead to some questionable decision-making.
Something happens to the brain when blood is flowing to other regions of the body.
They should discuss this in health class.
It's perfectly normal, but we have to learn how to deal.
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.
People Who Accidentally Sent A Family Member A Nude Picture Describe The Aftermath
Why in this day and age are people still taking nudie pics without triple-checking the recipient?
Why take the gamble?
And half of the time we hit send, mistakes get made.
One minute you're feeling sexy, the next minute grandpa is having a stroke.
Be careful.
Redditor Im_A_Freakin_Joke wanted to hear about the times people have sent photos to the family that left everyone SHOOK, so they asked:
"Redditors who accidental sent a family member a nude, what was the aftermath?"
I have done many things, but I never allow a snapshot.
Gross
"'You should clean your room before you take that.'"
Emergency_faceplant
What's What?!
"I meant to send it to someone on WhatsApp that I was dating at the time and didn’t realize I accidentally sent it to my brother, their names were next to each other in my chat list and I chose the wrong one. I frantically called my sister in law and told her what happened and begged her to go into his phone and delete the message with the photo."
"This is before WhatsApp added the functionality to delete your own messages. She was so sweet and understanding and deleted the message. I was so embarrassed. To this day she has kept my secret, this happened five years ago."
room_temp_butter
Bad Pics
"For context, my mom had some life-threatening medical issues when I was a kid, so there were a few month+ long periods where we rarely saw her. One night, I got a text from her that says 'send me a pic of u in bed."
"I thought she wanted a picture of me and my dog snuggling, as he slept with me and was the cutest sleeper. I usually sent her one every few days, even when she was home. It also doubled as her way to make sure I was following my bedtime."
"I was taking the picture, and I get a follow-up 'ignore that' text. At the same time, my dad opens my door so hard the hinges break. He says 'you get a text from mama?' I say yeah, and he says, 'it wasn't meant for you.' And leaves. I felt weird about it for days, even though it was years before I figured it out."
bleeding_inkheart
Leave it there...
"I happened to live across the street at the time and a dirty message meant for my now wife was sent to my mother! Luckily for me my mom is notorious for ignoring her phone so I sprinted across the street and said 'hey where is your phone' she told me it was on her desk so I calmly walked over unlocked it and deleted the message. In response to the look of confusion I told her 'deleted a message that was meant for now wife...' And left it at that."
Twandle_D-Vorago
AHHHH!!!! NO!
"One time my dad accidentally texted me 'sex if the Patriots win' and I still don’t believe I have recovered."
ayepeyday
Mom and dad have their own lives.
Disconnect
"I didn't accidentally send a nude, but my phone did auto upload ALL my pictures when I connected it to my mom's computer. I'm no longer allowed to connect hardware to my mom's computer."
teethalarm
Hey Sis...
"I gave my sister my old Iphone (I’m 25, she’s 22). She didn’t realize that her photos were uploading to my cloud and when I went to send a photo to a coworker, at work mind you, I see her pasty a**. I immediately text her and was like STOP TAKING PHOTOS. She called me and asked if I was okay and I told her what was happening. She responded with 'My a** look good though,' and I died laughing. Love my sis, but Christ."
PushingPepperoni
Shower Scene
"I didn’t sent a nude. I was in the shower, about age 15, and I heard the phone ring. My best friend had a habit of calling while I was showering. So, I bolted out naked as the day I was born to grab the phone before she hung up. I didn’t realize pretty much my entire dad’s side of the family was visiting my terminally ill mother."
"They saw it all. My aunt jokingly said, 'Well, dang, I didn’t know there was gonna be a show.' And someone said, 'we were just joking when we said you’d grow up to be a stripper.' I had to do a walk of shame back to the bathroom as well."
"It was laughed off and it hasn’t been brought up since."
TheSaltyMelon
Let me see...
"Sent a pic of my boobs to my mom. Managed to convince her I was trying to take a pic of what I thought was a lump but ended up dropping my phone and sent it while fumbling. Which has happened before. But then she made me show her where I thought the lump was so that was very awkward."
3milyBlazze
Recover Mode
"I once sent a pic to a GF in college when we were home for break… only I searched her contact by last name and accidentally sent it to her mom!"
"Thankfully it was late and she was able to sneak into her parents’ room and delete it before they saw."
BleekerTheBard
What have we learned?
At the very least, triple-check who you are sending it to one whichever app you use for that sort of thing.
People Share The Things They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life
There is so much to learn in the world, it's impossible for one person to know absolutely everything there is to know.
But there are certain things, like common phrases and idioms, that everyone seems to use that might be a little embarrassing to not understand until later in life.
Redditor Curious-2577 asked:
"What's something you learned 'embarrassingly late' in life?"
Addictive Personality
"My sister was in her fifties when she found out the meaning of, 'You have an addictive personality.'"
"She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality."
"We laughed hysterically when we talked about this (in a very sad way)."
- casper02127
Horse Toes
"I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a 'horseshoe' and the toes were tucked inside."
"How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?"
"I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked, 'It must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!'"
"Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes."
- BronNatsPulisic
Referencing Flowers
"The saying is, in fact, 'Nip it in the bud' and not 'Nip it in the butt.'"
- too_sharp
Pastures New
"A few months ago, two of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time."
"I kept reading/hearing the sentence, 'They’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving, and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to, like, 'Pastures New.'"
"I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company."
"I was in the car with one of the two people who were leaving and said, 'So where is it that you and X are going to be working? Is it...’"
"And just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘Pastures New,' they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that."
"I think at that moment, I realized I was stupid and didn’t mention it again."
- WorriedSoft
Mario Brothers
"I think I was in college when I realized that Mario and Luigi are plumbers. I thought they just went and up down these tubes just because that was the theme of the game."
- dontbemystalker
Bonsai Trees
"That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai."
- ixent
Houston, We Have a Problem
"Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to."
- vienna_versailles
Cowboy Beans
"I learned that pork and beans are not called 'cowboy beans.' I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the 'cowboy beans.'"
"We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while, I picked up a pork and beans can with a picture and said, 'See, they look just like this!'"
"He said, 'You mean pork and beans?'"
"Then I realized that my mom called them that so that I would eat them."
"The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day."
- whyunoletmepost
The Pulitzer
"Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a 'Pullet Surprise.'"
- BendyBrains
Rum and Coke
"Not too late in life, but I thought my parents were making 'Roman Cokes' until I went to college."
"Which, I think is a much better name for the drink (Rum and Coke) anyway."
- Th3seViolentDelights
Oh No, Not Acoma!
"That a coma was 'A' coma. Until I was probably 19 or so, I thought it was 'acoma.'"
"I thought you fell into acoma."
- FightWithBrickWalls
It Must Have Been a One-Way Trip
"My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
- artemus_who
Multitasking
"I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases… when I was a kid, I thought was a special hospital for people who had two or more different diseases at the same time."
- Baffhy_Duck
Ore-Ida Fries
"Moving cross-country, driving east to west, and crossing from Idaho to Oregon, I noticed huge fields with signs for the Ore-Ida Potato company."
"So I was in my early 20s when I figured out Ore-Ida wasn’t just a brand name but was because their potatoes came from Oregon and Idaho."
- Deadhawk142
Kid Logic
"When I was really young, my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years."
- Presitigious_Sweet_50
Some of these really had us laughing as we realized the revelations some of these Redditors were having.
But when we're really honest with ourselves, we probably didn't figure out some of these until later, too.