Mental health is health. End of story.
For millions of people, the idea of mental health is wrapped up in this strange idea that unless you're hearing voices or having a full-on movie-style nervous breakdown (spoiler alert: those almost never happen that way) then there's no need to get your mental health looked into.
That idea has cost countless lives and made millions of people unnecessarily miserable. It needs to stop.
Reddit user Pixel_Pig asked:
Mental health professionals chimed in, but so did patients, loved ones, friends, etc. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Mental health affects us all.
Warning: Some of the following entries contain descriptions of abusive behavior.
Inability to regulate your own emotions. Also, negative self-talk. we talk to ourselves way worse than any person could.
Child Psychologist here. It bugs me how much parents don't think they're responsible for their kid's behavior.
Yes - it's the main reason I hate doing counseling with kids under 12. I spend more time trying to convince the parents that they play a role in their children's lives and ultimately are responsible for their behavior. A great many seem to think just bringing their child to counseling is the extent of their involvement.
I don't remember much of my earlier childhood, but what I do know is that I've always got easily frustrated and cried a lot, only to have my dad threaten me to stop crying when I was younger. I spent practically all of my free time from the end of primary school through to university playing video games because I didn't think I liked anything else, and couldn't seem to stick with anything else. I've always feared strangers, and been incredibly sensitive to the negative opinions of those I do know. My teeth are badly yellowed because I couldn't bring myself to brush my teeth often as a kid.
For as long as I remember, I've struggled with knowing what I feel, with knowing if I'm ever in the right, with knowing what I want, with knowing who I am, with being easily overwhelmed, with overthinking, with overly negative thoughts, with mood swings, with doing any work not last minute... the list goes on. I've always felt that something was wrong with me, that this wasn't how life was supposed to be lived, that I wasn't nearly as happy as I could be, but when I've reluctantly confided in my family, I've just been dismissed as overthinking again, or trying to blame something other than myself -- despite how utterly out of control my own actions felt.
I sat through 16 months of a toxic relationship with a girl diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and was subjected to constant emotional manipulation including threats of suicide if I didn't call her, and yet I stuck by her because I just didn't know if I was in the wrong. I got counselling at university and felt bad for taking up the space of someone who will very likely need it more, and later that year I failed my degree because of what I felt was a rational decision that physics just wasn't for me anymore -- but neither was anything else.
Fast forward through a year and a bit of working full time in fast food, but working on myself through introspection, experimentation and research, I'm in a MUCH better place now; I've even got offers to study psychology at university next year. Despite this stark contrast, and an explicit collection of the ideas that helped me to overcome my own issues, my parents are reluctant to believe I have ever suffered with mental health issues of the anxiety and depression variety, and are insistent that my social difficulties must instead stem from Autism -- something out of everybody's control.
In having a conversation about the idea of Childhood Emotional Neglect, and explicitly telling them that it isn't placing blame, or preventing progress, and telling them how this idea has resulted in a huge amount of personal progress, they were still reluctant to believe it because they believe me to be just trying to place blame on them. Autism seems more viable to them because 'what normal person gets up at 8am every day and goes out to go to the gym and stuff?'
They completely deny that they've had any negative role in my upbringing, even after my mum has admitted that she never tried with anything in her life, including raising me.
I guess I ranted all this because denying parental responsibility/contribution does more than just bug me, it's hurtful and tragic. It could have been a never-ending generational loop of suffering were it not for a subtle but pervading inkling that life could in fact be better than this. And worst of all in my experience it seems to all have stemmed from a single stupid misconception about who we are. If there's anything we desperately need in these modern times, it's awareness about psychological ideas. Nobody is born to be a depressed recluse with no idea of what they want from life.
A good rule of thumb as to whether a behavior or symptom should be checked out is the same we use to determine a diagnosable disorder : if it causes impairment in one or more areas of life.
The range of what is normal is huge - but if something keeps you from going to school or work, keeps you from maintaining basic hygiene, from maintaining your friendships/ familial relationships/ romantic relationships... It's causing impairment and you should seek help.
If Your Toddler Is...
Research psychologist checking in:
If your toddler is doing socially unusual behaviors such as:
Not responding to name
Not responding to a social smile
Not pointing/ using gestures
Using your hands/arms as if they were a tool or extension of their body
Engaging in repetitive behaviors
Not responding to your use of gaze to direct their attention to distal objects
Check with the pediatrician about getting assessed for autism spectrum disorder.
Not Your Job
Therapist here. If you grew up with or currently are a part of a family where the whole family has to work to keep one or more members of the family in a good mood or appeased, that's not healthy.
People are in charge of their own feelings. It is not your job to appease others so that they can emotionally regulate themselves.
That was me growing up. Everyone had to make dad happy. Never knew if something was going to set him off. And when we pissed him off, it would go on for weeks. Outbursts, throwing breakable items, verbally degrading you, and sometimes it would get physical.
That man threw me into a wall while he was drunk. Would have gone all the way through but there happened to be pipes.
And then he would use us like therapists telling us all the traumatizing stuff he went through as a child and expecting that to explain his behavior. He'd be the first to admit that he needed therapy and medication but never actually did anything about it. Fortunately, he's no longer in my life.
Not Typical For Everyone
There have been a lot of my patients who have been pretty surprised when I've told them "hey, that's anxiety/depression" when they just thought their behaviors were typical for everyone.
- not being able to maintain friendships
- constantly being nervous about the safety of your child, to the point where you hate being alone with your child without your partner
- not being able to motivate yourself to do things, especially things you once enjoyed
- feeling excessively tired all the time
- not being able to calm down and just thinking about the same thoughts over and over and feeling worried
Other things we can help with:
- having a hard time trusting others
- trying to recover a relationship from infidelity
- not knowing why your kid is misbehaving so much and needing guidance
- helping to improve communication within your relationships
It can be hard to bring these topics up! I totally get it.
Some things you can try are:
- writing these things down and bringing them to therapy
- making a mood journal for a week where you track how your moods are and how you're feeling with different activities, and using that as a conversation starter
- two tools we use to measure depression and anxiety are the PHQ-9 and the GAD-7. If you google those, they're questionnaires that bring up some of these questions. You can fill those out and bring them in to your therapist
- you can bring a friend or family member to help advocate for you if that would be easier.
- you can write a letter reflecting on things you think you've made progress on in therapy and goals you have in moving forward and use that to start a convo with your therapist.
If you experience these things (and more!) therapists can help! Let us help you. I hate that cost is such a barrier for people. :(
Sometimes colleges offer free or discounted therapy from their students. When you're training to be a therapist, you spend at least 1 year working as a therapist while meeting with a supervisor each week to consult on your cases and get guidance on moving forward.
My college unfortunately didn't offer discounted sessions, but I know many do. It might be worth checking out.
Some systems also have charity care options for people with low incomes. That can be worth pursuing as well.
To find a therapist, if you're in the US and have insurance, you can call your insurance company and get a list of places that take your insurance. That's a good place to start.
Self-sabotaging behavior can ruin your life quickly. If you have an event in your life that has affected you negatively and you seem to find yourself exhibiting irrational or incongruent behaviors- see a counselor.
You don't have to have any certain pathology to seek mental wellness counseling.
Other People Have It Worse
I've seen a lot of people dismiss their depression/other mental illness because it's "not that bad" or "other people have it worse" or "I can/should be able to handle it on my own."
You shouldn't have to suffer through mental illness even if you technically can. You deserve to be happy and therapists and psychiatrists are there to help you learn how to help yourself. It's not a weakness to find someone who can assist you in figuring out coping skills or prescribe you medications to help fine tune your brain's neurotransmitters.
Your Child Doesn't Need To Hear That
The need for some parents to speak with their children about adult problems. No, your young child does not need to be aware that 'daddy slept with the lady next door'.
The parents that tell their children that they are going to 'go and speed my car into a tree purposely', 'kill myself while you are at school', or 'slit my wrist when I shower tonight'.
And, parents that feel they need their children 'fixed' as it's the child and not the family unit as the whole that needs support and/or assistance.
Your child doesn't need to hear that you are struggling financially - I'm talking more on the extreme side and towards children that have been extremely hurt and 'money talk' was used as a tool to make the child feel at fault and guilt to some degree.
I'm currently working with a child now that is triggered whenever he hears talk about finances and feels it's his fault they will eventually become homeless. They won't, but this is what he is told. If only he didn't eat so much, if only he didn't have so many school fee's. Not to mention the arguing between carers over finances - this must be his fault to though, they're yelling and shouting because of this.
Some Things Regularly Seen
Some things I see regularly that could have been caught earlier before they became a problem:
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms. For example, drinking "to relax" frequently or smoking a lot. Even something like promiscuity can be a red flag that a person is trying to avoid dealing with something stressful by distracting themselves.
- Self harm. Hitting yourself, banging your head on things, burning yourself on purpose, cutting yourself, etc. - all of those things indicate that it's time to talk with a professional.
- "Normal" child/teen behaviors that are not actually normal, like running away or getting into fights.
- Not communicating. When this happens, something is usually wrong (not always, as some folks are quieter than others). But if a child/teen/adult rarely speaks or if they are silent in the presence of their parent or significant other, it's time to get them to see a professional ALONE to have their safety assessed. I've seen individuals who are literally shut down due to having been profoundly abused by the people they live with and one of the main signs of that is silence. I've also seen people in perfectly good homes who cannot communicate due to extreme anxiety and without professional help it's hard for them to overcome this.
- Mood swings. When a person's moods change from one extreme to another fairly often/regularly that is another concerning symptom. Sometimes they are considered eccentric or hormonal, but that sort of thing can be a sign of many problems from bipolar disorder to post traumatic stress disorder.
Definitely Not God
New nurse here! Did my rotation for mental health and one patient in particular took quite an interest in me, he was very polite and very kind, he was chatting up a storm, answered everyone's questions and repeatedly asked my name. Later, we got to look at patients files and I got his. He had a psychotic break and started hearing God. She told him her name was Courtney and that She had chosen him and he was to find Her and marry Her.
Guess what my first name is. Courtney. They ended up moving me to another part of the hospital after that because he was quite interested. Can confirm: I am definitely not God. Way too much responsibility. Obsessive behaviors and thoughts like that should definitely be checked out.
- Extreme emotions
- Lack of or struggle with impulse control
- Extreme irritability
- Disrupted sleep
- Muted or bottled emotions
- Feeling like an alien
- Feeling like everyone has an ulterior motive
- Preoccupation with pleasing others or avoiding conflict
- Feeling of emptiness
- Feeling like a part of your identity is missing or you don't have an identity of your own
- Subtle tendencies to latch on to others (especially romantic partners or crushes — maybe sometimes you feel like you're just a tad "too much" or maybe you've heard that from some exes).
LGBTQ+ Youth can get help through:
TrevorChat — 24/7/365 at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/#services
TrevorLifeline — phone service available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386
TrevorText — Text "START" to 678678. Available 24/7/365.
TrevorSpace — online international peer-to-peer community for LGBTQ young people and their friends at https://www.trevorspace.org/
Trevor Support Center — LGBTQ youth & allies can find answers to FAQs and explore resources at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/trevor-support-center/#sm.0000121hx9lvicotqs52mb1saenel
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
A Late RunTom Hanks Running GIFGiphy
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
YummyHungry Taco Bell GIFGiphy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?Seduce Dustin Hoffman GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All TimeGiphy
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
GrossParis Hilton Reaction GIFGiphy
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
Some people need to get out of the house.
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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