Typically, young boys will get some version of "the talk" right around middle school age, when their bodies are changing and their view of the world can be shaped. With a guiding hand, they can be molded to understand what's most important. For example, bathroom etiquette. Don't talk to anyone else. Seriously.
Man Law!
Reddit user, u/Im_not_human1, wanted to know the most important parts of the code when they asked:
What is an unwritten rule that all guys follow?
Don't Get Me Back, Just Get The Next One
If a friend buys you a drink you don't pay it back you just buy the next round..
One of my psych professors has done a few experiments on this, specifically taking turns shouting rounds in australian drinking culture. Turns out people don't like when you skip out on shouting! Who would've thought?
Head Front, Eyes Forward, Soldier!
GiphyDon't look over in the urinals. Just don't.
Some guy turned to me at the bar bathroom the other day and told me i had a nice watch. Weird but I'll always take the compliment
You Gotta Give Them Choices, You Know?
If a man is kicked in the balls, all men within the immediate area must wince themselves and ask if the bro needs to be carried off or if he just wants to lay there for a bit
Don't Want To Seem Too Anxious For The Wrong Crowd
Gotta wait at least 1 minute to open a snap from a girl, but with the boys you open it the same second they send it
Let Things Take Their Course
Don't hit on anyone your friend is or was interested in without their permission.
It makes you a d-ck
Big Difference Between Steak And Chicken Nuggets
Whenever your bud brought food and there is only one piece left, there are only two ways it can go down.
If it was pricy then the guy who bought it will eat. If it aint then you wait for eveyone to finish their own piece and then go to get it. The fastest wins.
Keep It Real In Person
Late to the party but technology of whatever form (text message, FB messenger, etc) is used exclusively for a) logistics; and b) banter, jokes, memes, etc.
Serious talk of any sort is conducted in-person, or over phone if in-person is physically impossible.
Eye Forward, Soldier!
When you are taking a piss in the public bathrooms just stare at the f-cking wall and dont look anywhere else.
There Is No Middle Ground
You have to make fun of your friends and vice versa if anyone gets a haircut. Or give him a super over the top, vaguely flirty compliment
Once The Eyes Connect, It's On
When pulling up alongside someone at red traffic lights. If you look over and make any sort of eye contact with the other driver, it's instantly a race. Even if you act like it isnt, - IT IS.
Super Important. How Else Would You Know?
After applying restraints to objects in the flatbed of a truck, saying "Yep, that's not goin' anywhere" is an absolute necessity.
Because Sometimes It's Really, Really Big
We all have to be tough when sometimes the spider does scare you.
A Bro Always Has A Bro's Back, Even From Beyond The Grave
If a bro dies while lifting, put more weight on the bar, then call 911
This one is great.
"Help me bro, help me... put more weight on this bar"
Assert Dominance And Control
If your eyes meet another guys on the bus or train you have less than a second to look away.
Or else you gotta stare until they look away or you feel like b-tch.
Alpha!!!!
These Motions Are Incredibly Important
Nod up for an acquaintance, nod down for a stranger.
If you wanna assert pure dominance you wink
Just Get The Ball Rolling
If there is poop caked onto the side of the bowl u try and p-ss it off. Even if u can't u try to soften it up a little so the next guy can come in and finish the job
Loving that this has come up multiple times in this thread. Do your duty, men!
Just A Couple To Round Us Off
- Wherever possible, every other urinal
- your buddy's wife, mom, sister, girlfriend, ex-wife, and ex-girlfriend are off limits (sole exception being some ex-girlfriends if sufficient time has passed and the relationship was sufficiently casual)
- Do not get passed. If anyone passes you for any reason, on either side, you are driving too slow.
- If you ever find yourself in the wrong kind of threesome - do not make eye contact at any point with the other dude.
- If it doesn't smell, you can still wear it.
- When walking with a woman or child along a street or train track, you take the 'lane' closest to the street or traffic, effectively using your body as a potential shield.
- laughter, nut shot, or loss of a loved one/ pet are the only acceptable instances for shedding tears in public.
- Never let them know the shower is too hot or the food too spicy. Never.
Seriously. The Golden Rule Of Manhood...
If possible, every other urinal.
The office building I work at has three urinals. I always choose 1 or 3. A dude who works in one of the other offices ALWAYS chooses urinal 2, whether 1 and/or 3 are open or not.
One of these days I'm going to explain man law to him.
...Only Outdone By THIS Rule.
Do not, in any way, be that guy
Oh. F-ck that guy.
That guy is literally the worst.
"What is a fact or statistic that seems fake but is real?"
And You Thought Sharks Were Dangerous...
"Horses kill more people every year in Australia than all the other beasties combined."
"Everyone thinks it's the spiders and snakes that'll get you, but it's the horses you've really got to watch."- Gingerbread_Cat·
The Dangers Of Scientific Advancement
"It took us more time to go from bronze swords to iron swords than it did for us to go from iron swords to nuclear weapons."- IMJUSTABRIK
Frightening People For Generations!
"Sharks have existed longer than trees have."- Capital_Indication_4
Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphyThe Great Unknown
"I saw a scale model of the earth, moon and sun in a museum."
"The sun was about the size of a basketball, and the earth was on the opposite side of the room, the size of a small marble, I'd guess about 30 metres away."
"The moon was the size of a tiny pinhead, about 10cm away from the earth."
"On this scale, the nearest star to earth, Proxima Centauri, wouldn't be in the same building, or even in the same city."
"It would be 10,000km away."
"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
"The scale of the universe really is mind bogglingly big."
"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
Zero Points To The Lost World For Authenticity...
"We live closer in time to Tyrannosaurus Rex than the T Rex did to the Stegosaurus."- reiveroftheborder
stegosaurus GIFGiphyFrom Bad To Worse?
"After the British made head protection mandatory in WW1, the amount of head wounds increased."
"It's due to they were no longer KIA, but 'only' a head wound."- WouldUKindlyDMBoobs
Sarah Palin Can Confirm...
"USA is only 2.4 miles from Russia."
"2 islands in the Bering Strait, the body of water in the Pacific Ocean that separates Alaska from Russia, are 2.4 miles from each other at the narrowest point; one island is owned by Russia, the other is owned by USA."- Qabbalah
But Where Did "Ginger" Come From?
"In English, the color orange was named after the fruit."
"Before that, orange was just considered a shade of red."
"That's why gingers are called redheads."- I_might_be_weasel
redhead wink GIF by KobieGiphyAt Least We Can Be Sure He Didn't Lie About It
"George Washington didn’t know dinosaurs existed."- Silver34
But What Did They Want To Do With Those Cobras?
"New Delhi hired people to hunt cobra snakes which led to people having Cobra Farms to earn money, then the government stopped the project which led the Cobra Farmers to release their snakes, causing twice as many snakes than they first started."- cathabit
The Truth Lies Between The Lines...
"Barcode scanners scan the white lines, not the black ones."- the_blast_radius
Scream Bar Code GIF by joelremygifGiphyBut Does It Make It Easier To Avoid?
"Wombat poo is cube shaped, to stop it rolling away."
Perception Can Be Dangerously Misleading
"The Oxford University in England existed centuries before the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization."- RefrigeratorStatus96
"Time Is The Longest Distance Between Two Places..."
"A million seconds is 12 days."
"A billion seconds is 31 years. "
"A trillion seconds is 31,688 years."
"People have a lot of trouble comprehending numbers that big."- sunbearimon
Loop Time GIF by PsyklonGiphyOne thing that makes science so remarkable is how difficult it can be to believe.
And yet, scientists have been working since the beginning of time to prove that facts are, indeed, facts.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.