Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them

Person offering a slice of Pride cake
Alexander Grey/Unsplash

Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.

While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.

This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.

Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:

"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"

Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.

No Fanfare

"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."

– HUGE_duck_boots

It Started With A Homophobic Sister

"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."

"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."

– CasperTek

Michael, We Know

"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."

– CO420Tech

Some straight male friends deserve more credit.

Heat Of The Moment

"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"

"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."

– ConvenienceStoreDiet

My Best Friend Isn't Dying

"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"

– WhosThatLady9

Not A Big Deal

"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"

– AdministrativeWar594

Here's the thing about true homies.

Added Benefit To The Friendship

"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."

– avero34

The Misconception

"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."

– grandwizardElKano

Continue Being The Best Man

"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."

– IStanHam

Some levity goes a long way.

Calling Out His Relationship Status

"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."

– seafoamteal

Wicked Humor

"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."

– ultranothing

It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.

Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.

If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.

Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.

People Divulge Which Things Instantly Ruin A Conversation For Them
Photo by Sarah Kilian on Unsplash

Sometimes everyone needs to hush up.

Wouldn't that be nice?

If people could catch onto social queues and actually engage in conversation with another human, maybe then we'd be able to triumph at the basic art of communication.

But humans seem to be failing in this department.

So who among us hasn't been trapped in a nonsensical splattering of words we'd give limbs to escape from?

Keep reading...Show less
Fallen tree on top of a red car in the road
Mick Haupt/Unsplash

Moments of distress where you think your life is on the line are unshakable.

Many people have at one point experienced situations where they thought they wouldn't come out the other side alive but are somehow spared through some miracle.

They are lucky enough to tell their stories.

Keep reading...Show less
Man reading book in nature
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Everyone has their own opinion about what qualifies as a good read, whether based on literary merit or the joy of reading it.

But there are some titles that people can pretty easily agree took a turn that really didn't do the book any favors.

Keep reading...Show less
2 women laughing
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Some people don't take in information as quickly as others.

Which is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, nor does it necessarily reflect on one's intelligence.

Even so, we all can't help but feel the tiniest embarrassed when we've found ourselves a little slow on the uptake regarding certain pieces of information.

Be it a random fact of trivia that everyone knows, or even realizing there's a reason your parents were trying to instill a life lesson in you.

Being hit by a ton of bricks might actually be a welcome relief to the embarrassment that will run through your body.

Keep reading...Show less