
Pull up your seats, folks. I'm about to take you on a magical journey of medical f*ckery the likes of which only Reddit could bring you.
Yeah, it's like that.
Reddit user moboyd1_ asked:
Medical professionals of Reddit, what's the most obvious case of faking it you've witnessed?
Now, normally this is the point in the article where I briefly relay a kind of related story. And I'm going to do that, but I'm going to need you guys to just agree to roll with me because it's a doozy. My story isn't about faking it coming from a patient - it came from other medical professionals and there's a whole active case about it now.
Early in my days as a writer, when I was still a lil baby wordsmith, I had a job working for a social media company. Or so I thought. Turns out haha, nope! I work for a maniacal narcissistic, very short, stereotypical evil villain doctor. The doctor opened a medical training company, and then a second one to create competition for himself, then a web development company, and a social media company, aaand a day spa. Yes, a day spa.
Roll with me here, people, the scheme is lengthy.
The owner opened a "medical training school" to train other doctors on how to do minor procedures like botox , liposculpture, and fillers. They taught (some classes) with hands-on training, using real product. Sometimes. The owner would absolutely water-down the product and a lot of times they would "run out of time" so only a few of the students would be able to do any hands-on work. The training company was, in no way, accredited. It was a useless certificate and everyone knew it. Doctors hesitated to continue buying these classes, which the owner sold for thousands of dollars. In response, the owner created another company as "competition" for himself to prove to his clients that it was a real thing. That worked for a while, but the doctors got suspicious again.
Not a problem! The owner would direct them to this day spa, where he claimed to have trained all the employees. They were his perfect glossy model of success! In reality the spa was a total waste that never booked more than 3 clients a week.
The day spa employees would talk about how great everything was, and how much the training helped them feel solid. Then during idle chit-chat they would talk about how things like defining their image and having a good location also helped them stay busy, but honestly it was totally Facebook that really made things boom.
The doctors, not having any suspicion that a medical training company would have anything to do with a day spa's Facebook page, would ask for recommendations. They would then go to the social media company. The social media company would build their Facebook, manage their Instagram, etc. After a few months the social media company would casually mention how much more effective this would all be with a website. The doctors would ask if they could recommend anyone, and of course the social media person totally has a friend who builds websites and just built one for a doctor not that long ago! The doctor would think it was destiny or something, and go build a website with the company they recommend.
These doctors had no idea they just bought bogus training, heard a bogus success story, paid thousands for a social media company, then a website and all that money went to the same man, who they never saw. The reason they never saw him is because he had a hair-trigger temper and would scream at, threaten, and throw chairs at people. He was bad for his own business, so his wife kept him behind the curtain as much as she could.
The low level employees didn't know it at first either, but it never took long before the truth came out because we got asked to do insane things. Each of us had at least 3 alternate personalities with email addresses and phone lines, we were often asked to leave fake reviews, that sort of stuff. Some of the older employees had a game, every Monday they would gather around to read the new reviews on sites like RipOffReport. Business was shady, wrong, but not MAJOR... right?
Then it came out that the doctors who had been doing the training were never real doctors to begin with. One guy was an accountant with a mullet!
There was no way they could keep the ruse going for long, but no amount of reporting or bad reviews has been able to sink this company, but every single training weekend I would end up with literal hours of voicemails from medical professionals complaining that this was the most obviously fake training they've ever attended. Obviously I didn't last long once the truth all came out. All I wanted was to write some sassy social media posts and get paid for it; not be part of a multinational medical fraud scheme. Yes, we reported - along with a whole bunch of other people.
This company is still in operation and has been open for over a decade. It "trains" doctors all around the world. Careful where you get your Botox, fam.
Now... the answers from Reddit users involve a lot less billion-dollar-business-scams, but that doesn't mean they're any less interesting or hilarious. Pro tip: Blind people don't drive.
Just Listen
Getting pages that patients state they are in indescribable agony and screaming nonstop, then going outside their room and listening a bit while they joke and laugh with their family... only for them to start screaming again as soon as I walk in the room
Blind Driver
We have a patient at our primary care clinic who claims to be blind. He always comes in with sunglasses and a white cane. We were always suspicious though. Something definitely seemed off.
One day someone followed him out of the building. He walked through our nearly empty parking lot, and down the street a little ways to a car parked out of view of the clinic. He folded up his cane, got into the driver's seat, merged into traffic and drove away.
Water
I had a woman come into triage in labor and delivery. We ruled her out for breaking her water. She was pissed that she wasn't going to get induced and be delivered. So after I left the room she flooded the bed, the floor and herself with tap water. Literally gallons and gallons of water, it was leaking out from under the door. SOO much water - It was like that scene in Coneheads. She said it was her water breaking.
Again, we quickly ruled her out and told her she needed to go home. She subsequently peed the bed before leaving.
Geological Origin
My mom had a patient who said she had passed kidney stones at home and needed painkillers. The lady actually brought in the kidney stones as proof. Patients don't usually do this, and the stones were way bigger than people can pass on their own. My mom sent them to the lab and they came back as "geological origin."
Crazy lady picked up small stones from outside to try and get meds.
Gotta Pay Your Bill First
Called to a bar for a seizure. Waitress says she delivered his bill and he suddenly went to the floor having a seizure. Look over at him, and he's laying there flopping his arms and Legs around, as he looks is right in the eye and screams over and over "I'm having a seizure!!"
We tell him to stand up so we can take him to the ambulance. He does and starts walking to the door. We tell him to hold up, gotta pay your bill first. Man, was he pissed at us. Waitress tells us he does this all the time. Well, not today. He still took a ride to the hospital though. The hospital has good egg salad sandwiches.
The Big E
I commonly have young kids who really want glasses because some of their friends have them. They'll come in acting like they can barely see the big E on the chart. I change some lenses in front of their eyes, give them a little encouragement that they can see better, and they can magically read 20/20 with little to no prescription. They're not big fans when I tell them they don't really need glasses.
Amnesia
Had a prisoner once that was faking full amnesia including name. I told him there was a nerve in his ear that if he put his finger in his ear and couldn't remember his name that he was for sure faking because it even worked with severe dementia. Finger in ear... remembered name; finger out of ear... cant' remember who he was. Instant discharge back to jail.
Vicodin Works
When they told me they were allergic to Tylenol (acetaminophen) but Vicodin works really well for them.
- shawnr80
Throat Tube
Not a medical professional but work security in an ER, once had a guy come in, announce that he was going to have a seizure, then laid down slowly and comfortably in the floor and didn't start "seizing" until he was sure everyone was looking at him, then when the nurse (who knew he was obviously faking) said they were going to have to run a tube down his throat he was suddenly fine.
Throwing Things At A "Blind" Child
Pediatrician here so my patient was younger (and I think influenced by Mom)
This 13 year old kept getting admitted for complaints that never made sense. Lack of smell. Dizziness. "Seizures" that would happen while he was walking/running. Heart felt hot, etc. Every specialist under the sun had seen him and cleared him. He had every test and imaging study you could think of.
There was a lot of social stuff going on and this was a hard family to discharge. He'd get admitted, we'd run a hundred tests and as soon as we were about to discharge him, some new symptom would come up. The worst was once after I had already written the discharge orders and the nurses called to let me know the patient had gone blind.
I was grouchy that day and wasn't having it.
I went in with a rolled up piece of paper. I checked his pupils. I used a Snellen. I went through the whole rigmarole. Then when I was talking to his mother, without looking I threw the paper at him hard and fast. He yelped and dodged it. I told Mom that they were going home.
To be honest I still feel a little guilty about it, and don't know what the right thing to do was.
- sjwilli
Being the one to start a conversation can be pretty awkward if there's no context.
We're not all chatty Cathys and just walking up and saying "hi!" really only works if you're an adorable extrovert (or toddler. mostly toddler.)
So how are we supposed to, like, talk to people?
Reddit user Eviotie asked:
"What is the best conversation starter you know?"
I'm not saying the answers are all right here. Some of these might actually be awful ideas - we're not the experts.
All we're saying is Reddit is full of "creative" conversationalists.
Barbershop Bluntness
" 'So, you got any life regrets?' - my barber, the first time I walked in his shop."
- patoysakias
"My only thought to that would be:"
" 'Jesus does my hair look that bad!?' "
- Crying_Reaper
"I once had an old Italian guy for a barber that, upon the fourth or fifth visit, proudly informed me that he was Benito Mussolini’s personal chauffeur."
"He would from then on tell me stories in praise of the man. This was around 20 years ago."
- GozerDGozerian
Exciting And Engaging ... Kinda
" 'Hey, you got anything you're looking forward to soon?' "
"Not only is it a great starter, but it is also really engaging because they're talking about something exciting."
- koolkai123
"I use this so often!!"
- seekingkindness
"I used to use this one, but so many in my small town are just taking life day by day."
- No_Storage6015
The Scott Pilgrim Method
"Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever."
- whataboutschism
Be A Pet Detective
"Actual answer: just ask about their pets."
"If they don't have any, ask if they'd ever want any."
"Even if they don't want any, they usually have a reason why."
- dancingbanana123
"Ask them if they have pets."
"If they do, they'll gladly talk about it till the cows come home. Or they'll talk about the pets they wanted as kids or still want. Or about animals they like."
"If it turns out they don't like animals, you dodged bullet and they wouldn't have been fun to talk to anyway 😂 "
- Acriciel
Know Your Audience
"Well, you have to know your audience."
"The best conversation starter for any millennial would be to use a SpongeBob reference."
"It’s usually met with a resounding sense of familiarity and laughter and streams into so many other references from the show, which then spirals into all Nickelodeon shows from of our generation, then Disney… the nostalgia wormhole is never ending and will always be a rousing topic of discussion among our kind."
"Intense nostalgia for the years of our youth cripples us and we will never not take a minute to revel in our glory years and all the amazing content those years produced for the world!!! :’) "
- seekingkindess
A Little Conditioning
" 'Give me some good news!' Works especially well with coworkers."
"Let them know the answer can be absolutely anything. Anything from the plans for the weekend to them enjoying the weather. Sometimes it's as simple as a song they liked was on the radio this morning."
"It puts people in a positive mindset of thinking when talking with you. Especially if you make it a habit of asking often."
"Once people get used to the question you can see them look forward to it when you walk in."
- GlumBridge
You're Both Surrounded
"Talk about how they know the host of the party or which band they came out for or whatever."
"Just talk about the environment you're both surrounded by. What is the commonality?"
"It's a lot easier to transition into a natural flowing conversation from there."
- WhiskyAtNoon
Travel ... Maybe
"Actual answer: travel."
"Pretty much everyone enjoys travel and there are a lot of questions people can ask if you are planning a vacation or just got back from a vacation. Then you can ask them where they have been/want to go."
- acl2244
"Yeah this doesn't work with poor people. Where TF are we traveling to, the check cashing store?"
- [Reddit]
A Safer Route
"If I am meeting a person from a different culture, or race, or country, or religion, I ask one of two questions that cannot offend anyone."
" 'Tell me about your favourite food from your childhood.' "
" 'Tell me about the kind of music you listened to as a child.' (What instruments, singing style etc.)"
"People's childhood is often a safe topic, because there was no politics etc."
"But even if there was some awful thing that happened, if they choose to tell you about it, it is a sign that they trust you to understand, about the war, the earthquake, the loss of their parents, whatever trauma they endured."
- TheonAlexander
My Go-To Drunk Bathroom Conversation Starter
"If you’re a woman who is trying to make friends with women: astrology."
"Doesn’t matter how much or how little you know or how seriously you take it. Women use astrology as an excuse to talk to each other."
“ 'Okay but I can’t help but notice you have Leo/Aquarius vibes?' is my go-to drunk bathroom conversation starter with whoever has the coolest outfit."
"I’ve made 5 friends this way😁"
- brain_goal
Like I said, creative conversationalists, aren't they?
But what about you? What's your favorite way to start conversations? Or are you the type who would rather die than have to initiate a conversation with a stranger?
Tell us in the comments.
There are just some things in life that are not necessary knowledge.
Maybe we always hold out that tiny bit of hope we will one day be on Jeopardy... because you never know.
It's the creepy facts about life that leave me wondering and reeling.
RedditorsPanzer_ace_8wanted to compare notes on the things we're aware of that maybe we wish we could forget. They asked:
"What’s a disturbing fact you know?"
I mostly know disturbing facts about serial killers. As if that isn't enough. This should be fun.
Rest Well
"The skin mites that live on your cheeks come to the surface at night to find mates and do the deed. Sleep well."
Hullaba-Loo
Cannibals
"If you were to eat another adult human being, it would be approximately 125,822 calories. I went down a rabbit hole on Google and yeah."
ItsmeTrev
"How come it's almost 126K?"
Blablabblue
"Math. Average human is say 70 kg, has 20% bodyfat, so 14kg of fat. Fat has 9kcal per gram, which makes it. 126,000kcal. Math never lies! But I do make plenty of mistakes. Probably it's more complicated - but directionally seems legit."
NekkidApe
Decay
"Within three days of death, the enzymes from your digestive system begin to digest your body."
floopowdertravels
"I guess it’s reassuring to know your body decays before bugs can even get a shot to help your body decay, sort of like a medical death except your body willingly does it for you instead of doctors."
Standard_Zero_3152
People on Earth
"If you are 25 years old, approximately 1/3 of the entire world's population that existed at your birth, have since died."
ColSurge
How do people just stumble upon this sort of info? Y'all must read.
Gotcha
"Some species of shark will 'waddle' onto land in order to catch more prey."
CARMBLOVER
War
"During World War 2, Japan bombed China with fleas infected with the bubonic plague."
XoGossipgoat94
"Man they were just straight attempting to kill as many civilians of possible with that one."
JesseAster
"This is why a large portion of Chinese loathe the Japanese."
dicker_machs
Crush
"It's believed the USS Thresher or USS Scorpion (don't remember which one) took around 20 minutes to go to crush depth in it's free fall."
Jigsaw_isnt_a_puppet
"My Uni mate is a navy submariner and he said that if a problem isn’t your department you just ignore it, because ultimately it either gets fixed or you die, neither of which are scenarios you can do anything about. Him and a friend were playing Fifa in their bunk when the whole sub tipped to 45 degrees. They just kept playing at 45 degrees… it got fixed eventually but they’re reactor crew so nothing they could do to help either way."
FreegardeAndHisSwans
"body farms"
"There are places called 'body farms' were scientists and researchers look at the decomposition process of human remains in different circumstances. Basically a big area somewhere outside were human, sometimes pig corpses are laid out to be exposed to the natural elements or they're even enclosed somewhere (like the trunk of a car). They're actually important e.g. for forensic anthropology to help solve crimes. And you can donate your body for research after you die!"
ThisMessOfMe
Miles Long
"Your body makes blood vessels of about 7 miles in length for every pound of fat you gain. This in turn strains your heart as it has to work harder to pump blood through the new network of blood vessels."
macaronsforeveryone
Well there are things I never needed to know. But now we do.
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Hitchhiking. It has to be one of the most dangerous things a person can do.
There are too many movies where a hitchhiker falls victim to some psycho, and they're shocked it's happening.
Like... Hello?!?! You got into some stranger's car. How could you not get killed?
Also, all throughout childhood years we tell kids to NEVER get into a stranger's car.
But once we're 18 that rule seems to no longer apply.
I feel like it should be MORE prescient in adulthood.
But I'm sure all the survivors have quite the tale to share.
RedditorWestTexasOilmanwanted all of the road travelers to share some memories about past rides. They asked:
"Current or Former Hitchhikers of Reddit; What person that stopped or gave you a ride was the most memorable? Why?"
I just don't have the trust in humans that some of y'all do. How do you get into a stranger's car? Oh no...
Among the Horses
"So a few years ago I was working in a small resort in the French Alps for the ski season."
"About 15-20 of us all worked in a hotel in one valley, the only bar that stayed open past 11 was in a different valley, it was a pretty flat and straight road to it but a good 15 minute drive or hour walk. We would regularly split up into smaller groups to try and hitchhike cause ain't no one stopping for 15 people with their thumbs out."
"Well one time we couldn't be bothered to split up and we just decided to do the walk and not worry. We decided to chance it anyways and stuck our thumbs at to every car that went by, got a lot of honks, shouts etc, all fun and games until one guy stops with a horse trailer."
"He asks where we're going and we say where and he says hop in. Que 4 of us in his truck, 4 in the bed of the truck and the rest in the horse trailer next to this guys horse."
HAZZ3R1
I'm Innocent
"Got picked up in Queensland Australia and after a few quite pleasant hours the driver started freaking out as we came to a police checkpoint. Turns out my new friend had broken out of jail and had stolen the car. I got stuck at Bowen cop shop until I could prove my innocence."
--bedevil--
"not far!"
"I accidentally picked up a hitchhiker once. I was at a red light at the transition between a village and town road (no more sidewalk, road gets busier and a bit more dangerous to walk). A man walked up to my window from the sidewalk and waved like he was going to tell me something (I assume tell me I had a flat tire or something about my car)."
"I rolled down my window and he mumbled something with a smile, and when I motioned that I couldn't understand him, he just nodded happily, grabbed my door handle and got in my car. Once he was in, it was clear that he spoke little to no English (he was Asian, about 25-30 years old, and very polite)."
"He motioned that he appreciated the ride and I asked how far. He understood and said 'not far!' I told him I was only going home which was a mile down the road and that's as far as I could take him. He nodded politely but I'm not sure he understood."
"I drove the mile down the road, and right in front of my neighborhood was a Blockbuster. He motioned to the Blockbuster and said, 'Here, here!' I asked if he was sure and he nodded, thanked me profusely with gestures and bowing with his hands together. I waved and drove off. To this day I've never seen him again and it remains a strange encounter for sure."
User deleted
zest for adventure...
"I have only ever hitchhiked twice in my life, and both times, a ruinous hike was involved lol. In this story, I was left behind by the shuttle because it took me longer to complete the mountain traverse. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was getting dark quickly, and my phone wasn't working."
"An old couple in their 60s, whom I had been chatting with on and off on the trail, noticed my agitation and asked if I was okay. I told them the bus had left me behind and I had no way of getting back to my lodge, which was 30 kilometres away. They offered me a ride even though it was out of their way."
"We got to talking during the drive. I told them that the hike was a first for me as I wanted to do something memorable for my birthday; they joked that maybe I should stick to dinner and movies next time. As for my good Samaritans, they had been travelling the world to celebrate their recent retirement."
"Prior to doing the trek, they had just completed a cross-country motorcycle trip with their son. I was awestruck by their kindness and generosity, their obvious zest for adventure, and the fact that they were still so, so smitten with each other after all these years."
gagagamgee
"you like hasish?"
"Hitchhiking in Israel with my partner in the 90s. We were picked up by these Palestinian brothers."
"After a bit of chit chat the one in the passenger seat says 'you like hasish?' Pulls out a big joint which we all smoked. He then says 'my brother, he's a cop,' then pulls out his glock and starts waving it around. 'It's all good' he says. We had a good chat, many laughs and after half an hour they dropped us off. We realized we were only about 100 metres further down the road from where we were picked up."
theotherbruce
How have so many of you survived this long? Luck.
In Scotland
"About six years ago I was hitchhiking in Scotland, heading north to do some wild camping."
"My second ride, I got picked up by a Scottish guy, I could barely understand what he was saying because of the accent. He was heading into Glencoe to climb a hill and camp at the top, so I joined him. Long story short I now live in Scotland, we've been married for 4 years, and I now understand 99% of what he says."
Affectionate-Rub-936
Maine
"My most memorable ride was also my shortest. A guy pulled over in the middle of nowhere Maine. He said our path's would diverge just over the bridge but he'd give us a ride anyway. So we got in for the 100 foot ride. After we got out, he leaned over to the open passenger side window and said in a gravelly voice, 'Life does not give a rat's @ss who lives it.' And he drove off."
valleymountain
The Racoon
"I once picked up a guy wearing a black leather trench coat in 100 degree weather. He was young and friendly, made good conversation, but he absolutely reeked. Finally I couldn't really stand it and was like, 'Man, I'm sorry, but I gotta tell you that you f**king stink.' And he goes, 'Oh haha yeah, it's probably my racoon,' then he opens his jacket and he has a freaking racoon pelt tacked to a piece of cardboard."
maselsy
The Blizzard
"Memorable more for the reason I was hitchhiking. I had driven a few hours away from where I live and payed my last past penny to get training for my desired career. I barely had enough money to attend, and couldn't afford a hotel, so I packed a sleeping bag, and everything I needed to sleep in the back of my van at the training center."
"It was mid spring and was supposed to be pretty warm in the day, and a tad nippy at night, but we ended up having a freak blizzard. The Van was absolutely freezing so I decided to turn it on to keep warm and hope I didn't use too much gas. As it turned out my battery had died in the cold and I had a 2-hour walk, in a blizzard, to get in to town to try and get help."
"By some miracle I spotted a truck about an hour in. The driver had arrived too early to drop off his load, and decided to park on this empty dirt road to rest for the night. He ended up giving me some food, and jumping my car. I managed to stay warm the rest of the night, and get home after the last of the training."
"Definitely one of the scariest moments of my life, because I don't think I would have made it town with all my toes if I'd had to walk another hour."
Vypernorad
This is nice...
"Not a naughty story, sorry... but I got a lift once while hitching during my army days. Hopped into the car, slightly distracted. Noticed wood panelling, leather seats, etc. That bonnet going on for 2km in front of the car. Turned out to be a vintage Rolls-Royce."
Namibbat2
This is why I fly. Y'all are crazy.
There are many people who are seen as role models, but that doesn't mean those who inspire others can cause mischief.
And while some bad choices warrant reprimanding, there are other instances where yelling is not really necessary.
Curious to hear examples in which people were berated for inconsequential reasons, Redditor Ratzink asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you've ever been yelled at for?"

Students being disciplined at school is expected. However, there are exceptions.
No Phone Zone
"I was in 8th grade waiting to be picked up from school. I didn't see my mother after awhile, so I got my cell phone out (it was a nokia block phone) and was about to call her to see if she parked somewhere."
"This older woman came over and got in my face. She yelled at me to put my phone away or she would confiscate it, and if I had to make a call, I would have to cross the street and do it."
"A really congested street full of cars with no crosswalk nearby; I would have to leave the pickup zone by myself."
– SarahTheJuneBug
"It was WELL past 3 pm (school was out and I was not breaking any rules) and this hag got pissed by just seeing a block phone that barely did anything beyond calls. I just put my phone away and waited for her to leave."
"Thankfully, Mom showed up not long after that. She was angry when I told her what that lady said. She told me she was a b*tch and that I did nothing wrong, and added that if anyone actually ever confiscated my phone for trying to get in contact with her after school was over that she'd deal with it for me. I also asked a teacher about it the following day; she was just as baffled as I was and agreed I wasn't breaking any rules."
– SarahTheJuneBug
Bitter About The Funeral
"I told my Math teacher I was leaving class in 15 mins to go to a funeral, my friend had just died."
"She said no, and I was like 'thats fine, but I'm still going... its my friends funeral.'"
"And then her face went so red and she shouted in front of the class 'I watched my mother and father die right in front of me, what makes you so special.'"
"I was like woah. The whole class was like woah. The teacher must have been having a bad day but she screamed so loud, and her parents dying was not relevant to me going to a funeral. Was super weird."
– [deleted]
Playing With Food
"I once measured a Fruit by the Foot with a ruler when I was in third grade. Lunch lady accused me of playing with my food and I got in trouble. I genuinely really wanted to just measure it to see if it was actually three feet long."
– TheRealOcsiban
Looking For A Place To Sit
"In 5th grade, I got sent to the principal's office for the first time. I asked the secretary where I could sit and I immediately got scolded, telling me I'm wasting her time for even asking her that question. She even brought the principal over and told me to repeat my question just to further lecture me on how stupid of a question it was and how much it wasted her time. Yea."
– MrJerhomie
People got all in a tizzy with these work-related issues.
The Deal Breaker
"I was dating this girl. She had been looking for jobs for a while with no luck, and I was looking too. My friend offered to pass my resume to their boss for a job in my field after they got one that paid better. I ended up interviewing, then getting the job."
"The first thing that happened after I told the ex was her she yelling at me for getting the job. 'Why did I have to accept a job?' 'Why did you have to take the easy route by getting a job through a friend?' 'Why did you have to apply there?' 'You lied because you didn't want to work with friend.'"
"And no the relationship didn't last much longer after that."
– Responsible_Yak832
Mad Customer
"My absolute favorite: I was working at a bakery, helping out a dude who I could tell was about two seconds away from losing his entire sh*t."
"Nothing due to anything I or the bread were doing; he looked to just be having one of those days and was only barely keeping it contained. After handling the entire interaction like a ticking explosive, I finally ring him out, hand him his stuff, and offer the customer service standard, 'Have a nice day!'"
Which was apparently the thing that sent him over, as he spat out, 'I will NOT!"' spun on his heels, and stomped away like a petulant toddler."
– mus_maximus
People need to be clear about who did what before accusations fly.
Who Hit Who?
"When I was 11, my mother started yelling at me for hitting my 5yo brother. That's understandable, if I had hit him. He had hit me. Literally walked up to me, slapped me in the face, and ran away laughing. Turns out he had run to our mom after fake crying and told her that I hit him. She thought I was lying about it until she realised he had started laughing."
– Hot_Interaction7245
Mistaken For A Menace
"On my local summer swim team when I was maybe 8 years old I had the same first name as some other kid who was a total menace. He’d splash water in girls’ faces and pull on their bathing suits thinking it was flirting, etc."
"One day at practice we’re all hanging out on the edge of the pool and I’m talking to my buddy, and there’s a girl on the other side of me. Suddenly her mom, let’s call her Karen, comes rushing over and says 'HEY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?' I’m confused and look around me to see if she’s talking to someone else and she says 'YEA YOU!' So I say 'uuuuh… {my name}. Why?'”
"She then grabs my arm yanking me halfway out of the pool and starts yelling at me and I don’t really remember what all she said but it was some mix of 'YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER' (the girl who happened to be next to me) and 'WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??' all while spitting as she yelled."
"And I was just a terrified, confused kid who’d been assaulted for no reason by this crazy lady and was trying to ask what she was talking about, who her daughter was, what I had apparently accidentally done, but she wouldn’t let me get a word in."
"Finally her daughter got her attention yelling 'Mom… MOM… MOM!!'”
“WHAT!?!”
“That’s the wrong boy…”
"She dropped me pretty quickly and looked super embarrassed but was probably still just red from yelling. She gave me a quick 'oh sorry' and just walked away."
"When I got picked up and my mom asked how practice was I just said 'fine… some crazy lady yelled at me but it was a mistake.' My mom looked confused, took me home, and that was it."
– DunderMifflinPaper
Embarrassingly, I was the idiot who yelled at someone for a stupid reason.
Years ago, I felt water sprinkles periodically hit my face while watching Jurassic Park in a packed movie theater.
I may have imagined it but I thought I heard giggling following every splash of water I felt. I was so convinced some kid had a water gun and was targeting me throughout the movie.
During the climactic T-Rex scene–where the tension is amplified without a score to accompany the encounter–I snapped and filled the silence with my wrath.
"Knock it off!" I yelled behind me, generally addressing the audience.
The kid sitting next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's the ceiling. It's leaking from the bad AC unit."
As soon as the credits started rolling I bee-lined it out of there before anyone could match the face to the temperamental, but very daft, moviegoer.