Ah married life, that's when you're living the dream.... well so they say.
Those of us unmarried relics wouldn't know but it's sure fun learning about.
Who hasn't wondered what the most major life changes will be once vows are swapped and the clergy says "you may kiss your partner."
Maybe the biggest surprise is that there is little to no change.
That would seem like a letdown.
Let's find out.
Redditor BoboDClown2019 wanted all the matrimonial partners out there to speak up by asking:
"Married people of Reddit, what did you only start doing in your relationship after you got married?"
"Wife legit wants a Vacuum cleaner for Christmas. No necklaces, no diamonds, just another Dyson stick vacuum that we can just keep in the basement. This will make her happy. I meanwhile will feel like a bad 50's husband, but its a sacrifice I make for my wife."
Blog_Pope
Chefs.
"Cooking, my husband was a chef and has always been amazing at cooking, I never really cooked at home (unless mr noodles or frozen dinners count). Once we moved in, I started calling my mom (who is also a chef) and asking her how to make certain dishes. Turns out I'm pretty damn good at cooking, somethings that I've made, both my mom and hubby wanted to learn the recipe form me!"
"Starting learning to cook 9 months ago."
dotsisu
RIP my love.
"Quit checking out every room I walked into for hot available females. My wife was seriously, always the most beautiful person in the room and we would talk about anything and everything under the sun. She was my best friend too. Rebecca passed away from breast cancer on May 17th of this year. I'm still not looking. RIP my love."
DeanSmartin
I Got Out.
"Most of these are good... mine's not. After I got married was when my (now-ex) husband's abuse became apparent. He straight up told me he owned me now and could do whatever he wanted to me.""
"Yeah there were signs before hand (hindsight is 20/20) but once it was legal, it became glaringly obvious. We had our first married fight on day 1 of being mr and mrs.
"Took 3 years but I got out."
foxes-and-flowers
Nothing.
"Honestly if you talk to any just married couple, most don't feel any different at all. Nothing changes."
"It just becomes more socially acceptable to start discussing having kids."
"The only thing that really changed for us was that I was suddenly comfortable getting loans in both our names and combining our finances. Finances are likely the most important factor when it comes to marriage."
Trigger93
GiphyThe Guinea Pig.
"Cooking, sadly my mother never taught me how to cook so my husband was my Guinea pig. I feel bad because it took me a few years to learn how to make food edible."
otherm0ther
Coffee Forever.
"My parents both never drank coffee and didn't really care for the taste of it. Someone gifted them a coffee maker as a wedding present. They tried it out their first morning married and have made coffee every morning since."
it_helper
For the Very 1st Time....
"We started having sex. We were both virgins."
"It's been an amazing 4 years! The first time was was way better then everyone said it would be and it's been fun for us to learn and explore everything for the first time together."
CzCzCz540
Money. Money. Money.
"Share finances (we did some before but it becomes more integrated), bought a house together, no condoms, life insurance and such being in your spouses name, a lot more compromise on decisions... nothing is different right away but you start doing these things slowly."
Goofball412a
GiphyLiving Situations.
"Lots of realizing I suck at cohabitation and need to clean up after myself more. Learning to say no to the things I want even if it doesn't put us in a bad financial situation we got goals and stuff so I want those to happen more than some upgraded SSD for my computer."
mynipplescutglass
Hey Hubby....
"Calling him my husband. That's about it."
dsteere2303
"Ours was the same way. It's kind of a relief though isn't it? It's hard to explain but saying "wife" instead of "girlfriend" when we met new people was so much easier."
Fair_University
Giphy"Honey, what's wrong?"
"Everything. I married my husband, who was in the Navy, at 18, and he immediately moved me across the country and then got deployed, leaving still teenage me alone in a strange place trying to take care of our home alone."
"My sweet, elderly neighbor, who had been really lonely because her son didn't visit often, came over the first week with some flowers from her garden. I was so touched I started crying, and she said, "Honey, what's wrong?" I was like, "How do you write a check to pay bills?????"
"She helped me, and we became really good friends. I'll never forget her."
Christian_Writer
People Explain Activities They've Added To Their Post-Pandemic Bucket List | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
While we've all been cooped up for the better part of two years, many of us have been dreaming up exciting plans for the future. Maybe it's finally time to s..."Dear & Moose"
"He tried calling me "dear" when we were dating. I jokingly told him "don't call me dear, I'm not your wife," he never did it again. Fast forward a few years, we get married and walking out of the court house he whispers in my ear "I can call you dear now." So now he calls me dear and I call him Moose."
ScaredOfSocks
The Brood.
"Having children."
ImSharticus
"I always found it funny that despite how religious her side of the family is, my mum and both her siblings all had a daughter that had a kid before getting married."
Mad_Squid
Same Old. Same Old.
"Having the same damn thoughts and voicing them at the same time. 🤦♀️"
caligirl41
"Or wearing basically the same clothes. Feels like that started happening more and more often."
Fair_University
GiphyNothing special.
"Nothing special. The usual things that go with being married, co-habituating, taxes, sharing things."
"If you start doing things you didn't do before you were married, you may run into problems. Be who you are all the time, and that way when you do find the right one they like for you for all of that."
phydeaux70
The Annuals.
"Creating 'traditions' together. It is our wedding anniversary this month and I am looking forward to arguing about how big the chunks of bacon should be while making home made pizzas, listening to flashback Friday all while wearing my wedding dress."
dalekbearkissme
Let's Chat.
"Honestly if you talk to any just married couple, most don't feel any different at all. Nothing changes."
"It just becomes more socially acceptable to start discussing having kids."
"The only thing that really changed for us was that I was suddenly comfortable getting loans in both our names and combining our finances. Finances are likely the most important factor when it comes to marriage."
Trigger93
Putting Work In....
"Gardening. She loves it. I see it as more chores, but I love her so I will happily do extra chores to see her happy."
"This is literally what my dad told me when I'll know I've found the right woman. When I'll willingly do extra chores just go make her happy."
"Unmarried at 33....."
FrankieFillibuster
Bon Voyage....
"Nothing really changed. We had already been living together for almost 10 years... getting married was basically just an excuse to party and go to Hawaii."
mejok
"How fun was that wedding? You had an excuse to party, sounds like it was really really fun!"
ToInfinityandBirds
Giphy8 years +
"Not much. Taxes and finances obviously changed. I think the thing that actually changed is now I’m more forward about voicing when I have a problem. But I don’t think that’s because we’re married I think it’s because we have been together for 8 years and we’re secure enough where we can hash out problems or even fight without feeling like the relationship is in jeopardy."
TheBrontosaurus
Read to Me
"I know a couple, where the husband started reading books to his wife to replace some of their date nights. It was like, one of the most romantic things I've ever heard and something I never realized I missed from childhood and would want in a relationship."
TechniChara
Presents...
"Buying her more things to let her know that I care about her. She doesn't expect it, but it's great to see her eyes light up over anything from flowers to a new ring or necklace. Also, only asking for a basket of breaded fish and some vinegar for my birthdays since I don't really care to celebrate getting older anymore."
Firesky21
Let's do Wendy's
"Bickering about who pays for McDonalds when we're together. When we were dating we would usually pay for ourselves or spot each other on occasions. But since we got married we have an unspoken word of if we get food one of us has to pay for both. It's stupid, but it's funny and but at the same time. Usually ends with us laughing and stealing each other's fries."
gears_be_ground
wendy delivers GIFGiphyHype...
"We're each other's hype man. When he or I wake up feeling crappy, we just lay together and say how awesome we are and how we can get through the day to come home and be fat."
KenziKitteh
You always want to be comfortable around your life partner... but maybe not too comfortable like keeping the bathroom door open when it's occupied.
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Being let go from your job is never a pleasant experience.
Particularly if it comes out of nowhere, without any possible warning that this was a possibility.
Even if it isn't any more pleasant, generally speaking, most people have at least an inkling of why they were let go.
Budgetary reasons, dissolved departments, being told you weren't meeting company standards, or bad blood with the boss.
As well as some less common, highly unusual reasons which at least might make a good story down the line.
Redditor Sweetlo123 was curious to hear from people who were let go from their jobs, and why they were met with this fate, leaving them to ask:
"What did you get fired for?"
For Standing Up For What's Right.
"We were told we get OT for night work."
"The new 'company manager' let it slip that we don't actually get OT for night work, so when I was scheduled for five nights in a row working on a transmission line cell site I mentioned that I expect everyone working from our company on site get OT."
"Once it was said that we won't get OT and that it wasn't an actual policy (was written in employee handbook), I forwarded the email chain to the entire company and leadership at Verizon."
"I was canned, but now everyone gets OT for night work."
"My life is better now anyway and got my people what the deserve."- drklunk
This Was Never Going To End Well...
"Aggressively squeezing breakfast muffins lol."
"I was a few days into working at Mcds and someone complained I gave them a muffin that was too hard-they bake them at like 3 am and sit in a warmer all day."
"This was before they had the full bakery menu, I think muffins was the only thing baked and maybe cookies."
"So my manager told me to squeeze them before I hand them out."
"Me being a dumb teenager squeezed the s*it out of these muffins and got another complaint."
"They stopped scheduling me, haha."- eatmyknuts
You Have To Do The Work To Get Paid...
"I just stopped working and began only attending meetings."
"Lasted almost 9 months that way before they let me go."- frantictossing
martin freeman sleeping GIFGiphyWrong Time, Wrong Place
"I was fired after a month into my first job at a local pizza joint when I was 16."
"They called me during the Super Bowl and said I had to come in."
"I told them I was out of state without a car so no way I could make it."
"They said I should’ve known this was one of the busiest days of the year and I should’ve stayed in the area."
"I came in to work my next shift and they just gave me my paycheck and said they had to let me go for not being a team player."
"10 years later I was fired from a job in tech because I refused to move out of state."
"This one hurt a lot more."- seventyfive1989
Hard Not To Say They Had It Coming...
"The company's timeclock software ran off of the computers time, so when I was late I would just close the software, change the time back to before shift start and then clock in and change it back."
"The supervisor who showed me the trick fired me."
"A day or two later he saw me pulling in late, and when he went over the time info that day, it showed me clocked in on time."
"He knew why."- Grief-Inc
Nepotism Always Screws Someone Over...
"Worked at a gas station and was a sucker for the free soda."
"I would drink a few 24 oz glasses of Dr. Pepper (don’t judge) per shift and had to piss relatively frequently."
"I usually worked with the same lady every shift and every shift my drawer came up short even like $10-20 bucks."
"One day my usual co-worker was off and I worked with another lady who warned me to watch my drawer around the other and hers had been short when she was around."
"That got me to thinking."
"The next shift with the usual lady I stuck some receipt paper into the lip of the bottom of my drawer and hit the bead."
"When I came back the paper was on the floor."
"My drawer was short $20 at shift change and my boss fired me."
"I told her of my findings and asked her to review the security tape."
"She told me to f*ck right off the other lady had been there years."
"I left heart broken and rented some VHS tapes to indulge in and recover."
"One of the movies was Casino and man is that a good movie."
"Come to find out the usual lady was the boss lady’s cousin and they f*ckin told people I knew I got fired for stealing money."
"I though about calling a lawyer but also, I was in high school and was delusional I suppose."
"I got out of that town after high school and rarely return, especially considering all my family moved off."- woohhaa
Snl Smiling GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyThe Age Old Story Of Men In Power
"Caught the boss stealing."
"So he fired me."
"His word vs. mine and it didn't go my way."- freezingprocess
People Tend To Get What They Deserve
"Embezzled almost $500,000 from the doctor's office I worked at."
"Oh no, wait."
"That was my former supervisor who did that...26 years after she fired me for taking home a left over slice of pizza after a drug rep hosted a pizza party for the office staff."
"Karma can take a long time, but it always comes through."- YourFront
Late To The Game...
"Being the last hired when they instituted layoffs."- BubbhaJebus
Some Plans Can't Be Cancelled
"1970s YES 'Close to the Edge' tour."
"I had my tickets and had the request approved for time off, they changed their mind at the last minute and would not let me off."
"Pfft."
"Left anyways and was genuinely surprised when I got back on Monday and they informed me that I was fired."-AmandaBRecondwith
Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated
"My boss was talking sh*t about me to employees, and I confronted her with 'how would you expect the people below me to respect me when you show them that you don’t?'"
"She didn’t like it and literally went crying to the owners, who then fired me for 'causing problems'.”- Successful-Snow-562
For Literally Doing What They Were Supposed To
"I got fired for slacking off and underperforming at work by taking my legally required lunch."- 10leej
Hungry Lets Eat GIF by TRTGiphyThey Couldn't Have Waited One Day?
"Worked as a QA tester for an online game company."
"Found bug while on my personal account at home."
"Came in the next day and reported the bug."
"I was VERY clear I found the bug while playing at home on my personal account."
"It was a nasty bug that let you duplicate very expensive items."
"A few weeks later someone in customer service was checking the logs for people exploiting the bug."
"They found mine and the company decided to fire me on my birthday."
"That was around 15 years ago but it still upsets me every year, on my birthday."- PedanticCyborg
While most believe "ignorance is bliss", anyone handed a pink slip deserves to know why.
Even if sometimes the reason gives no closure whatsoever, and instead only results in even more questions.
Certain locations really damper on a good time.
For instance, it's not fun to do it in cramped spaces.
Looking at you, airplane bathrooms and backseat of cars.
Many cannot be bothered to maneuver in some odd location.
Beds. Beds are sexy.
Always were, always will be.
Redditor sasukelikescarrots wanted to hear about the places we should all avoid when getting it on, so they asked:
"What do you think are some overrated places to have sex?"
Elevators.
One... I'm claustrophobic.
Two... there is not enough time.
Fatal Attraction lied to us y'all.
The Worst
The Beach Summer GIF by Kel CripeGiphy"The beach is the worst."
thotsnprayers68
"I hate sand so much so I agree with you."
Millionsmoney
Let Alone Two
"Airplane bathroom. Too cramped, and smells gross. Keep your Mile High Club pendant."
REUBG58
"I was thinking this too. I am also willing to bet that 99% of people who claim to be in the Mile High Club are lying through their teeth. Seriously, there's barely any space in those lavatories for one person, let alone two, and it's a little hard to get aroused when you're worrying about turbulence and people waiting to use the toilet knocking on the door."
Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Just Why?
"Public toilets... Why would you even..."
Reznik81
"The only reason I can think of is being a kid of an overprotective parent in high school and you want to desperately get it on with your boyfriend. Public restrooms are the only option sometimes. (Experience)."
I-couldbeadog
Too Wet
"The pool and the shower."
GrilledStuffedDragon
"I hate the shower. I think it was a comedian who said, 'I’ve never been having sex and thought you know what would make this better… If one of us was freezing.'"
"I personally like the shower cause my partner likes to be in the water and I like being cold so it works out cause sex gets me pretty warm anywho."
BOOboUraisin23
"The shower is for foreplay, not sex. Pretty much every time we shower together it’s a given that it will lead to sexy time, whether we were planning on it or not/in the mood or not…. intimacy and touching, etc.,?…. we just B-line for the bedroom. But sex IN the shower?… no."
Jibber_Fight
And a Happy Meal?
happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy"McDonalds ball pit…"
ami2weird4u
"They have a cleaning machine that can clean all the balls and it's all sanitary. I think that could be a really good time"
copper_basket
Have some decorum people.
I'd go to Burger King.
Check Please
Applebees GIFGiphy"The men's room at Applebee's during Happy Hour on a Tuesday."
Thiccaca
"Oddly specific."
some1sbuddy
Bad Idea
"Car sex."
Shrikeangel
"I spent my teens and early 20s having sex in cars. About a year ago (I'm almost 40) the wife and I are out and in the mood so let's have sex in the car like we used to. Bad idea, how the f**k did we used to have sex all the time back there, now it's uncomfortable and I got a cramp in my leg."
Psyco_diver
"Yes. The handful of times I’ve tried this, it’s always been so cramped and you need to keep repositioning or someone bumps their head. I guess it could be fine if you had one of those huge American tanks, but cars here in Australia never have that much room inside."
StellarSandDweller
Oh Lord
"Churches and graveyards. I've done it in both, and it's not really that great."
filly_fanatic
"Never in my life have I thought either of those locations sounded like a fun place to have sex. I guess if you have a kink for getting caught then it's as good as any because there's this perception of it being sacrosanct, but it just seems at best uncomfortable and at worst going to get me on a registry somewhere.
"hopeishigh
The Waves
"Waterbeds. One of my GF's had one, and I *hated* it. It's impossible to get traction or the proper angle."
disturbednadir
"Good call. There’s nothing to push off of. Nowhere to plant knees either. A true s**t show."
SocialMediaSoooToxic
"I knew there was a reason why I forgot about my waterbed! Thanks for reminding me about that abomination!"
TinyCamp7743
Wow. I mean. Y'all have really gone out and experimented fully.
Congrats.