Love at first sight is not very practical, but when you meet that special someone it just feels right. These people reveal how they knew that they found the person they married.
u/Kynsade asks:
Married Redditors: How was your spouse different from any of your exes when you were dating? How did you know they were "it"?
When the love keeps you sticking around
GiphyI never got sick of being around her. 16 years and I haven't yet. I can remember dating other women and just wishing I could be anywhere else.
When the conversation flows
GiphyI didn't have to try coming up with things to talk about. I didn't pretend like I was really cool, I wasn't shy about my honest opinion, I was able to be fully myself with this person, and it was so easy.
I also felt no social energy being drained from hanging out with him, and still don't. Both of us just knew. Still better than ever 8 years later. 😊
A clean track record
GiphyI can always assume that she means the best in everything she says or does. It's been over 10 years and she hasn't let me down yet.
When the typically annoying things bring comfort
GiphyWhen your biggest relationship worry is that the snoring has always pushed others away, but she said on the first night, "Your snoring is like a comfort blanket to me. I slept like a baby knowing you were there with me."
When loyalty is priority
GiphyI had a pretty bad accident, was hospitalized for over a month and we didn't know if I was going to live, or ever walk again. He stayed when sh*t really hit the fan. He bathed me, dressed me, wiped my butt. The whole nine.
Communication is key
GiphyShe wasn't playing games. She didn't insult or attack me just because she was angry. When she does get upset with me, she is able to communicate with me and doesn't just passive-aggressively assume I should know what's wrong.
A trip away tells all
GiphyI knew he was the one when we went away for the weekend together for the first time and I realized I actually enjoyed being with him and didn't want to kill him by the end of the weekend...
When they go above and beyond
GiphyMy father passed away very unexpectedly and we had been dating for only 6 months at the time. He flew across country to be with me and my family (whom he hadn't met yet), bought meals for us, mowed the lawn, replaced my sister's worn down tires, did laundry, picked up family members from the airport. All the little details that needed attention were the things he took care of so me and my family could greive. I couldn't imagine anyone else I had dated before doing something like that.
Home is where the heart is
GiphyI could be completely myself, felt completely at ease and at home with him and wasn't at all worried about what to talk about and what I needed to do to keep him interested in me. I felt like I was in an equal, healthy, respectful and loving partnership and knew he would always be super loyal, committed and there for me.
When you can't get enough
GiphyHonestly? I didn't get sick of him.
I know that sounds random, but in all of my previous relationships, there came a point where they became grating, or things I'd previously found normal became insufferable over time, or I'd realize that things I'd overlooked early on really shouldn't have been overlooked (e.g. my one ex who happened to have a love of drinking beer while driving his truck).
When I started dating my hubs, I was pretty sure I'd eventually tire of some aspect of him, or begin to find a flaw or three that would grow and become unbearable over time. But I never did. He has flaws, but they're just... part of him, you know?
Sometimes you just know
GiphyThis is such a great question that I always wondered as a single person. "How would I know if this person was the one?" I guess I can answer that now. I know it's probably different for everyone. My SIL and BIL dated for two years as a trial run and then said if they were together for two years they'd get married. Seems kinda strange to many, but 20+ years later it seems to work well for them. For me and my now husband, we just knew almost right away. I can't describe the feeling well—I knew he was different the first date. I had a real connection with him on the "I find him attractive but honestly I just love talking to him" level. I just knew if we were to actually be in a relationship we would get married. A couple weeks in we were in love and I knew this was it. And it was. It's a mixed bag of influences; the attraction of course, the way he was so solid in everything—his kindness in every way, the way he made me laugh, his intelligence, our deep talks, everything about him just fit into me. I could tell his feelings and words and actions were genuine, this wasn't a game, and this was real for him like it was for me. Ah, I love that man. I'm gonna go tell him again
When a mix tape does the trick
GiphyHe made me a mix tape. I listened to nothing else for weeks. Twenty years later I still perceive the opening to Operation Mindcrime as a love song. :D
Reliability can seal the deal
GiphyThe biggest difference in my SO was his consistency. Texted and called consistently. Showed up for plans. He's reliable and he was always all in. To him, we were always a team and he refused to walk away from that.
Independence and support
GiphyIt became clear early on that he thought of me as a complete person with my own independent path and not a girlfriend-shaped presence in his life who only existed to fit into it on his terms. He supported me without first thinking about what it meant for him, and took me for what I was without making it about him. We started dating at 21, and that was depressingly rare in other guys I had dated up until that point.
Nice guys get the girl
GiphyHe was never mean to me. He never said things to hurt my self-esteem, when he was feeling low or we were in a fight. I felt emotionally safe with him. And, he is incredibly smart. I always did (and still do) love talking to him. He says things that change my mind, make me think, puts things in a new light. That was probably the thing that made me want to marry him, I knew I'd never be bored.
Let her be!
GiphyHe just let me BE. It sounds really simple, but it isn't.
Being a woman you don't realize how much criticism you get from male partners until it's gone. In every other relationship I had ever had I was constantly told things like "you should grow your hair out" "I like it when you wear X". I was also expected to take care of all domestic duties even though I generally worked more then my partners. And at the time it genuinely didn't bother me. I thought that was just the way of things.
Listening makes all the difference
GiphyHe actually listened to me when I talked, and if we had any sort of disagreements we'd talk it out. In the almost 8 years together we have never raised our voice or cussed each other out. We've had some "major" disagreements but we never had a fight -- we had a talk.
When you are telepathic
GiphyI didn't have an "idea" of us that I tried to make us fit into. We pretty much shared and still share a brain. We lived almost 2 hours away from each other but would often text each other the same thing at the same time. We'd be in the car together and one of us would say something and it would be the same thing the other was thinking. I had never had that with anyone. And when we fought we were always able to resolve it easily because our communication and honesty was always really open and easy.
A deep understanding is a clear sign
GiphyI asked my supervisor about this. She looked at me for a moment, then dipped her head back down with a smile and said, "I thought about it, and there's really no one else I would rather spend my life with. We broke up once and we still found our way back. We were long-distance for two years and we survived that. He knows me. Like, he really knows me. He's romantic without being provoked. He just wants to treat me right. We just really understand each other."
When they make you a better version of yourself
GiphyIt was apparent right away that she made me a better person. I had always been a good person and always employed, but being with her made me want to do more.
When you respect their respect
GiphyLots of things, but the one that I've been able to note through the years is her self-respect which consequently leads me to respect her as well, which is crucial during those certain moments in a relationship.
When you come from two diffferent worlds
GiphyWe've been married 49 years, August 2. On our first date I knew she might be the one. Any girl that could eat a hamburger faster than I did was a keeper. She was everything I wasn't, danced in college plays, played an instrument, knew the classics, cultured. I was just a dumb farm boy that didn't even know when to walk in a crosswalk. She was a Spanish education major and I was an animal science major. She had a great sense of humor and very intelligent. I'm sure her folks thought I was the biggest hick ever. It apparently turned out ok after 4 kids and 49 years later.
When you want them with or without an arm
GiphyShe fell off a balcony and shattered most of the bones in her arm. I didn't know if she'd lose it or not until they wheeled her out of surgery and I saw she got to keep it. But while I was waiting I realised none of it mattered.
When they help you grow
GiphyThe first couple of times we hung out, we sat and talked for hours. We had a ton in common, and he was really easy to talk to. But I think the main thing that set him apart from others that I dated was that I felt comfortable just being myself with him. I was jaded in many ways from a lot of previous experiences in my life, and he allowed me the comfort to confront some of my own issues, to grow beyond things I had held myself back from.
Sometimes it takes a little push
GiphyShe demanded respect from me. She wouldn't tolerate any games or non commitment because she knew she was worth it. She did not put up with my bulls***. I fell in line, and I fell in love.
When she has your crotch covered
GiphyI got a new dog that had a bad habit of jumping paws first directly on my crotch whenever I was sitting on the couch. I'd kind of developed a reflex to cover said crotch whenever the dog would start to lunge my way. One day, I was sitting next to my girlfriend (now wife) on the couch and had a drink in one hand and the remote control in the other. When the dog jumped towards me, my girlfriend covered my crotch for me. That was it. I knew.
When they show you real love
GiphyI know this sounds lame but being with him made me realize I was never actually in love before. What I have with him is real love. He's patient. He's giving. He's gentle. He's selfless. He's honest. He treats everyone with respect and nobody has a bad word to say about him. I love him more than I've ever loved anything. :)
When they take everything as is
GiphyWell, first of all, just to get to the premise of your question - that somehow when I met (or came to know my husband) I saw he had what all the others lacked and saw he was "it" or "the one." I don't believe in this concept, I think there are lots of "ones" and nobody is perfect or perfect for you - like Dan Savage says there is not settling down without settling for.
That said. The big things he had different than all my other exes is that he had no hang ups, no neuroses, no preconceived notions about relationships, what women should be like or what they should look like.
Vulnerability is key
GiphyHe REALLY LIKED me. I have an anxious attachment style, and with others, I was always wondering where I stood with them. With him, he never shied away from telling me how much he liked me. It took me a few months to believe that was for real, but the willingness to be so vulnerable about feelings was a big deal to me.
When she accepts your herpes
GiphyWe were long distance before and during dating. We had a visit scheduled. She was coming to see me for the first time since we met and we were pretty close to starting to date officially. From wrestling in high school, I contracted mat herpes and get an outbreak on my forehead about once a year. A couple days before she came to visit I got an especially bad outbreak. Nasty looking stuff on my forehead a little bigger than a silver dollar. Not only is it unsightly, but it has an especially negative connotation since most people associate the herpes virus with genital herpes, plus it's highly contagious via skin to skin contact. I was anxious for days about how I was going to tell her and hoping she wouldn't be too freaked out. I called her and tried to lay everything out, preparing for her to be really uncomfortable and put off.
Her response was "Oh that's it? Can I still cuddle you?"
Just the first of dozens of personal things that she blew me away with her acceptance of.
When you can fart loud and proud
GiphyOn our second date, we where in his bed and having a good time. It was late night, we were talking like we'd known eachother for years, eventhough we had only just met for the first time a few days prior. All of a sudden he mentioned that he had a wild urge to fart. I said, "fire away". He farted like there was no tomorrow. I laughed so hard and a few seconds later let out my own gassy adventure. From that moment I knew, if both of us can be that relaxed and comfortable around eachother, it must be "it".
When it's really chill
GiphyMy now husband and I started off as a sort of friends with benefits relationship, where we really liked each other too, however I was sure I was moving away as soon as possible, and he was in the midst of a divorce. Because of this, everything was super low key. I remember thinking to myself "I can't get mad at him for X issue because we're just really casual."
Well, that created an environment where we were just super straightforward with everything. There were no games or jealousy or expectations at all, we just hung out.
When the fun never ends
GiphyFirst date story: we met up at a bar and sat on the back patio and just talked to each other the whole night. Not a single moment of awkwardness and no small talk. Once the bar closed, we didn't want to say bye yet so we went to his house down the street. We stayed up all night baking cookies, watched Donnie Darko, and playing guitar. We never slept and I didn't leave until I had to go to class the next day. Staying up all night became a pretty regular thing for us because we were having too much fun just hanging out.
All it takes is some food and magic
GiphyWhen we were first dating I went over to her place, we had sex, smoked a joint then fell asleep. We both woke up around 2am and she brought be leftover chicken and fries in bed before we fell asleep again.
I knew she was the one that point. Happily married for 5 years now.
The people who love you the most can break your heart because of their betrayal of trust.
Cheating is cowardly and inexcusable, but depending on the situation and the couple, it is possible for them to find a path to healing emotional wounds.
But there are some ways in which infidelity is totally unforgivable.
That's the kind of scenario Redditor WCh3L3 was curious to hear about when they asked:
"What’s the wildest cheating story you’ve witnessed or happened to you?"
It must be exhausting leading double lives.
Hospital News
"A friend of a friend found out that her husband was cheating when she got to the hospital to see her husband who had just moments before been brought in by ambulance after a serious car accident only to be denied entry to his room because 'his wife was already in the room with him.'"
"He had two simultaneous lives with two women, neither of which was aware of the other."
– JeBronlLames
The Ruse
"My ex-wife pretended to be admitted to a mental health ward for long term treatment while actually staying with her new man and cheating on me."
– Impossible-Visit-199
"This one is just next level."
– most-royal-chemist
"That’s some Batman villain level of intrigue and machination. His wife missed her calling and wasted her abilities on sleeping around."
– filifijonka
A Separate Life
"My friend's mom was in a relationship with a guy for years and they ended up getting engaged and due to marry."
"The guy was a senior director of a company for which he travelled every week abroad for business."
"Eventually, the guy had a heart attack and when my friends mom turned up at the hospital, his wife and 2 kids were there also."
"Turned out he was already married with children and living a double life the whole time. When he went 'abroad' for business, he was simply going back to his actual family."
– wallbagz
Here's The Story
"My dad did this. He worked nights and would juggle both families that way."
"He came clean after he got admitted to hospital for heart trouble and realised that if things went badly he’d end up in this exact situation."
"I was 16 when he came clean that I have an older brother and sister. They found out about me then too - as did his wife."
"ETA: I’d actually already figured it out before he told me though. Nobody else had."
"EATA: I saw a preview of a text on my dad’s phone from my sister. I didn’t know she was my sister obviously, but it said ‘hi dad, mum says…’"
"At first I was in denial and I thought his friend must have borrowed his phone or something. I started to watch him more closely."
"He had a ringtone (lol the 00’s) that would say the name of the caller. I noticed whenever a certain name rang he’d leave the room. Some tactical eavesdropping later and 15 year old me had it figured out that I had a brother and sister."
"I didn’t clock I had a stepmother though, or that I was family no2 and they were his primary family. But I still think I did pretty well!"
"My whole family on my mum’s side knew - mum respected that it was my dad’s secret to tell and she gave him time to tell it. (Although they did have a few arguments about it as I was growing up, I never knew what they were about at the time.)"
– notemily-
Life is never the same once the truth comes out.
Shameless
"A family friend's husband was having an affair for 20+ years and that woman knew the entire time about his family. He was at her ranch one time and was bucked off a horse and broke his back. The affair partner called his wife to tell her and acted like everything about this situation was normal and the wife had no reason to act all upset at the affair. Some people really just have no shame."
"Guy lived and made a complete recovery, left his mistress and they stayed together since they were working on their relationship. He died a few years ago and the wife finds out he never actually left his mistress just lied."
– SailoLee92
Unilateral Decision
"In a small town the husband kept telling people he had an open marriage; finally someone asked his wife about it, she was unaware of this new arrangement."
– Long_Strange_Trip_GD
Rehab Romance
"Was in rehab, two people were there for sex addiction one a minister the other a Jewish housewife. They left rehab together early. Woman divorced her husband who sent her to rehab for sex addiction and married the guy she met in rehab. They are still married 10 years later and seem very happy."
– Life-Evidence-6672
On The Case
"I knew a guy years ago that was a private investigator. Many times he was approached by a spouse who suspected their partner was cheating."
"He had a slam-dunk strategy. He would suggest his client sign up for a course, whether a hobby thing, or educational. The key was that the class would happen for a period of weeks, all on the same day of the week, and all at the same time of day."
"Then, while his client was in class, he would follow the spouse."
"Caught them every time."
– PJMurphy
If you have a hunch about an unfaithful significant other, it's there for a reason.
Going For A Run
"Had a coworker who cheated on her live-in boyfriend. She would tell him she was going for a run, put on her shorts without underwear and would f'k her side piece in the apartment parking lot. So then she would come back inside sweaty 30 mins later and needed to shower and it all made sense to her boyfriend, he never questioned it. She was an awful human."
– rashawah
It Made Scents
"A friend caught her husband cheating because he kept coming home smelling like ferrets."
"Hard to play off 'long day at work' and explain that."
"When she found out at a holiday party that one of the young female coworkers owned ferrets, it all made sense."
– benloe7
Special Delivery
"I used to go to a comic shop. And the comic shop owner knew all of the gossip in the area. Nice dude. Remembers all of his regulars and asks about you if he hasn’t seen you in awhile to check in on people. Lot of people in the area grew up with his shop. So he’s got stories."
"Anyways he told us about this story from some years back about this regular. Who disappeared for a few months. Comes back one day. And the shop owner asks him, 'hey, man. Haven’t seen you in awhile?' Kind of like where have you been. The regular was like oh I’ve been getting divorced. I had to move it was a whole thing."
"So naturally the shop owner asks. 'Why are you divorcing your wife?' The regular caught his wife cheating."
"He had picked up a 2nd part time job as pizza delivery man because he was trying to fund to take his wife on her dream vacation. All of the money he earned from that job was supposed to go into that vacation. He had been working this job for like 6 months. It was a whole secret. She didn’t know he was doing that for her. Because he was trying to surprise her."
"He was the pizza delivery man at the motel. She was cheating at him with. The dude she was cheating on him with answered the door with her right next to him."
"He apparently didn’t even go back to the pizza place. He quit on the spot. Went home. Packed his sh*t and left town."
– TheMysticalPlatypus
Those who are unfaithful in their relationships may think they're good enough for more than one person, but they're usually not.
And while you may not believe in it, there's something called karma, and watching it enact justice can be extremely gratifying.
If you were the one being cheated on, know that the person with whom you've fallen in love is not the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with and there will always be a better human who will respect you and love you.
And if you were the cheater, watch your back. Because whether you believe in it or not, karma's coming for ya.
Food trends are not so very different from fashion trends, constantly evolving and quickly becoming outdated or passé.
Can you think of the last time you were served ambrosia at a dinner party?
Or have you noticed how anything featuring kale is now met with an eye roll rather than excitement?
Of course, some food trends tend to last longer than others.
Even if many people wish that they would also become extinct... the sooner the better!
Redditor Prestigious-Humor872 was eager to hear all the food trends people wished would die out, and fast, leading them to ask:
"What modern food trend can you not wait to die?"
Less Isn't Always More...
"2 ingredient desserts (with 7 'optional' ingredients that appear once you read the actual recipe)."- strawberry-emma
You Pay For The Experience
"Food trucks that charge the same price as a premium restaurant but serve half the size on a floppy plate that I have to stand up to eat."- thorn_10
"Food trucks."
"Weren’t they supposed to serve cheaper food because of lower overhead?"
"No brick and mortar?"
"We have a lobster roll truck-pulled by a Range Rover- that shows up for lunch and charges $22 for one entree."
"Ridiculous."- tizzymyers·
GiphyChoice Of Words...
"Calling a slight alteration to a recipe a 'hack'."
"Adding parmesan cheese to your grilled cheese sandwich is not a 'hack'."
"It's a minor recipe change."- No_Pear_2326
Jumping The Gun A Bit...
"If I'm on a website I'm only there to look at your menu."
"I'm not interested in starting an order before I've looked at the menu."
"No, I don't want to give you my zip code."
"Just give me your menu and some food pictures."- DueRest
Staying Humble?
"Fancy restaurants that say they serve 'street tacos' and proceed to charge $18 for three."- Chipwich75
T-Bell Yes GIF by Taco BellGiphyThere's A Reason We're Told Not To Play With Our Food...
"The stupid food wasting trends on YouTube and TikTok etc."- fluffernuttersndwch
Presentation Is Key...
"For some reason putting food in wine glasses."- Ralphroberts603
"Restaurants serving food on cutting boards, shovels, paper, shells, or anything that is not an actual plate."- Funny_Disaster1002
meat grill GIF by Gifs LabGiphyRemember The Golden Arches And The Red Roofs?
"Making all fast food buildings look like cookie-cutter beige/grey boxes."
"They all used to have their own distinct personalities."- mattnotis
There's Economizing, And Then There's Jusy Poor Hygeine...
"The videos of people making food in sinks."
"Gross."- h20rabbit
Is It Even Still A Secret After 100 Thousand Views?
"Any TikTok/IG trend that makes life more difficult for fast-food workers with overly complex orders or ordering stuff not on the menu or trying to 'one up' each others orders etc."- HiThisIsMichael
bored fast food GIF by Zaxby'sGiphyMaybe It Gives Them Incentive?
"Tipping as an option BEFORE receiving good service."- mytimeis2044
Sweet Tooth? Or Cavity Express?
"Sweets on top of sweets."
"A milkshake with a donut, lollipop, and cupcake attached."- Marleygem
Technology Slowly Taking Our Jobs...
"I just went to a restaurant, not a fast food place, a sit-down restaurant where you have to scan the QR code for the menu, then a screen pops up where you have to place your own order."
"No one comes to the table to answer questions, nothing."
"You place your order, a person comes by and throws your drinks at you. "
"Then they swing by a while later and throw your food at you."
"That’s all you see of them."
"You pay your bill on your phone, and are still expected to tip."- Megmuffin102
Saint Urbain Website GIF by Front of HouseGiphyBe it in presentation, cooking style, or flavor profile, people will likely always try to make food "cool" in truly bizarre ways.
Sometimes ignoring that the only thing that should truly matter is whether or not it tastes good.
At least people have finally realized that kale doesn't need to be added to everything!
For now, at least...