Being a lawyer has got to be such a daunting challenge.
How do you keep your conscience in check?
The things you learn about humanity can be bone-chilling.
It's a special issue when you're a criminal attorney.
Sometimes you learn your client is guilty.
But you still have to do your job, even if what you know leaves you shaking in fear or disgust.
You took an oath after all.
Redditor BrunoDeFarnese wanted to hear about all the stories that still haunt lawyers. They asked:
"Reddit lawyers, what is the scariest thing a client has confessed/said to you?"
I've always wondered about this. It happens in movies. But does it happen in real life?
Unbearable
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"I once had a client’s mental state deteriorate over time. They went from relatively normal to complaining of ghosts in their home and their house being bugged in a matter of months. It was equal parts scary and very sad to watch it happen."
ghostdogtheconquerer
The Worst
"Their murders."
berklythrowaway
"Admission of guilt to your lawyer makes it harder to defend a client, at least where I practice, that takes any defenses off the table where you argue they didn't do it. So now you not only have the trauma of knowing these details, they've also made your job way harder."
Disruptorpistol
Criminal Law
"Had a client who was charged with assault with a deadly weapon against his wife. He had a few past charges that were similar. Fairly typical domestic violence situation. He claimed it was blown out of proportion, yada yada. I got a pretty good plea deal for him and advised him to take it."
"He told me he wanted to go to trial. I told him that when his wife testifies against him, he’d lose pretty fast. He looked me in the eye and told me that his wife would not be attending the trial. I knew better than to ask questions. Sure enough, his wife did not attend the trial. Case dismissed for lack of witness."
"A win for the good guys? I hope he just made up with her and she chose not to appear, but I’ve always wondered if he did something to make sure of it. He sounded pretty confident when he told me she wouldn’t be there. I got out of criminal law in a hurry after that."
LooieKablooie
Grandpa
"I work in patent law, so we don't really get 'scary' per se. Grandfather came in with several inventions... actually the entire family came which was weird. He was very proud of his inventions, and explicitly stated that they needed the money the inventions would make and the money would go to the whole family to support them. His family getting an inheritance basically rested on these inventions."
"The inventions were extremely simple concepts that had been around for probably 30+ years. I politely got all of the information. I then put together a report, and it was honestly scary. How do you write something that shatters this elderly mans (and his families) dreams?"
lordnecro
The Robot
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"His wife was an alien robot and so was the President, and he was going to kill them and all other robots. Straight to the psych ward for paranoid schizophrenia."
It_Could_Be_True
Details
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"They killed someone when detailing the case to me."
Huuntergamer45
Intertwined...
“'I am a Mexican cartel member' —US Immigration Attorney."
Odd_Author_76
"In LATAM, organized crime and everyday life intertwine quite often, it is quite common to bump into people with some degree of involvement or who had dealings with them in the past, I live in an upper middle class neighborhood and all of the businesses around my house had yo get an 'ok' to operate."
Much_Committee_9355
Hidden
"My husband was the lawyer not me, but one guy had been hiding in the attic of his small apartment building and when my husband went to talk to him he was so out of it on meth and paranoid that he accused my husband of working for the county whatever that means."
Chutneyonegaishimasu
Panama papers...
"I do corporate structure and wealth management so I don’t get much action, but I’ve had clients admitting over the phone casually to every white collar crime known to man, insider trading, money laundering, tax evasion schemes I would get once a week. I’m pretty ok if what you are doing is fu**ing over either some big corporate or the government."
"But probably the scariest stuff, was during the Panama papers, while I was still an intern, I got a call from my boss off hours and to get to the office ASAP, I just went to the office had no idea what was going on and started shredding clients papers who might or might not have something to do on tax heavens."
Much_Committee_9355
To the Grave
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"I had to surrender my law license last week b/c of an early dementia diagnosis. Although I no longer carry a bar card, the secrets disclosed by clients, over the last 30 years, will die with me."
PraylikeTomAmes
Asking for a friend...
"I was always told you never lie to your lawyer or doctor. If I killed someone would a lawyer want to know the truth to better prepare for a case or do I keep my mouth shut? If I do admit to a heinous crime can the lawyer just refuse to defend me and then testify against me. Asking for a friend."
crusttysack
calibrated...
"I feel like my meter is calibrated differently, I feel like what is scary to some people doesn't phase me and I can't even think of really scary things. Except the time I worked with some mentally ill defendants and when visiting, he pulled a pen inkwell that he had sharpened out of his ass and threatened to harm himself in front of me."
"I was behind glass and safe, but having to talk him down was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do. He probably couldn't have seriously injured himself, but the moment was very scary."
jonesie1988
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RIP
"I had a client who’s employee got drunk, went home and beat his wife to death R.I.P. it was in the paper!"
Thewhitewhale22
Criminal
"Other than a few cases, I didn't mind my criminal clients. I felt bad for the majority of them. They weren't bad people, they were people who were horrible childhoods, didn't finish high school, some kind of addiction problem, etc. They literally did not have the knowledge or ability to make good decisions. And a couple of bad people thrown in there.But Family Law? No thank you."
unabashedlyabashed
Secrets
"I became a lawyer b/c of Brendan Sullivan at Williams & Connelly. I was fortunate enough to also be a law professor (evidence and the law of testamentary privilege). Sullivan once said in an interview that he wanted his epitaph to read 'here lie the secrets'. I want nothing less and if I were to tell secrets, it would rob me of my professional pride and dignity."
PraylikeTomAmes
Godspeed, Esquire...
"My former boss, a lawyer of more than 40 years, passed in 2015. I know some of the secrets with which he was burdened but I know there were much, much worse things he carried alone. When he got sick in 2013 and knew dementia would eventually come for him, he would often joke and say, 'Now, when I lose my mind, don’t think you’re going to get any secrets out of me.'"
"Although those of us around him didn’t feel so confident, he’d made up his mind. And he didn’t. He told us he was still married to his long-departed first wife. He had fabulous visits with his mother, who had passed on more than 30 years prior. He lived a lot in his college days."
"Not once, however, did he utter a single clients name. Not the most eccentric family law client nor the most dangerous criminal client. Not a single one was mentioned. I sense you to have made up your mind. I’m sorry for your diagnosis but know you’re obviously a hell of a lawyer. Godspeed, Esquire."
Shiftn4ward
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The 22...
"Its a catch-22. The real answer is it depends. There are several possible ways to defend such a case. First is to make a strong case that it wasn't you. Second, is to impeach the prosecutions case, and undermine the certainty that it was you such that you get let off on reasonable doubt."
"Third, is some type of justification or mitigation defense: You did it, but it was legally justified, or you did it, but here is why you should get the lesser charge. Knowing the truth will help your lawyer formulate trial strategy, and better advise you during plea negotiation."
"However, when you admit doing it, it becomes hard/impossible to ethically present evidence exonerating you, that your attorney knows to be false. It is generally a bad idea to try to commit fraud on the court, your attorney cannot knowingly help you, but if your situation is desperate enough, it may actually be your best bet, but you can't ask your attorney about it!"
monty845
It's a good thing I'm not a lawyer. I'd be taking out AD space online with these stories.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.