A defense attorney's job isn't necessarily to prove a person is innocent. Sometimes people just aren't. In those cases, it's more a matter of making sure the person is getting a fair shot.
Sometimes, though, even that is impossible thanks to clients who just seem determined to mess things up for themselves.
One Reddit user asked:
And it turns out there's not a whole lot you can do when your client is really determined to ignore your advice, leave out key details, curse out a judge, or is just plain flat out guilty as sin and shows no remorse or ability to not flaunt that guilt.
It's interesting to hear what attorneys do in these situations, though. Proceed with caution, some of these responses do include mentions of rape, other violence, cruelty/harm to animals, drugs, and more.
A Volunteered Confession
My client gave a textbook perfect confession to a robbery the police had no leads on.
He had walked into the police station and told the front desk that he thought the cops were looking for him. He then volunteered that he and a friend robbed a gas station last week. Then, after police arrested and warned him (right to silence etc), and after he spoke at length with counsel (not me)...he repeated his confession in an audio/video statement. He wasn't forced or coerced. He hadn't been detained for an unreasonable time in cells first. They hadn't even interrogated him. But as a result of his confession, they were able to get a DNA warrant and matched him to blood swabbed at the scene.
And the best part? The police had no idea beforehand that it was him. My client and his friend had covered part of their faces, the surveillance video was horrible quality, and they had bear sprayed the store clerk (a 16 year old kid) immediately upon entering so the kid hadn't been able to provide the police with as description beyond "two males." And since he had no criminal record, he wasn't in the DNA database from previous crimes. He had just heard a rumour that police were investigating, and assumed they knew it was him.
I had to laugh when I got the police report and read all of this. I then focused on securing him as fair plea deal because he had no chance at an acquittal.
The Shaggy DefenseGiphy
I'm a criminal defense guy, so I have had plenty. Most infuriating one was a guy that got busted for selling rocks to a confidential informant.
The CI was wired for sound and video so the whole transaction is crystal clear. Plus the cops id'ed his car as the one that drove up the scene and he was stopped a couple of hours later with the buy money in his possession (serial numbers were recorded). He had three prior convictions for drug sales.
The prosecutor offered him five which was the mandatory minimum. He absolutely declined to even consider a plea, insisted on a jury trial, insisted on taking the stand and telling a ridiculous story about how it wasn't him in the video. There wasn't any doubt. It was absolutely him.
I felt like Lionel Hutz trying to string together a closing argument with a straight face. He got 20 years.
Sitting in court waiting and the case before ours at the time (theft) was going on much longer than it should have, Defense lawyer calls for a motion to dismiss, claiming lack of evidence. The judge says he will entertain said motion after lunch, hits gavel says court will reconvene at 1 pm, court dismissed. Defendant stands up and says loudly, "Told you i could get away with stealing that sh*t!"
He thought his case had been dismissed.
I had to try to defend a man who walked into a convenience store with a knife demanding money. He wore no mask, just his casual clothes, and walked through every aisle before he robbed it being spotted by every security camera in the store. After the robbery he ran back to the hotel he was staying at, also carrying an open back pack full of money and being seen by the hotel's security cameras in the process. He then went into his room, threw the bag on the floor and hid under a bed until police arrived.
I spent a long night thinking about it before passing the case to somebody else. Because I have no idea how to defend someone who has so much evidence against them.
A Tit Guy
My friend's mom was a defense lawyer for a hospital- her job was to represent doctors accused of malpractice or anything relating to doctor/patient interaction.
I forget all of the details, but she had one case where a female patient had accused a male doctor of assault. The claim was that the doctor groped the patient several times during a procedure.
Allegedly, the doctor had been coached to say that during a routine procedure, it's possible that he had inadvertently brushed up against the patients chest, and that if it happened, it was an unintentional consequence of following standard procedures.
So they get to the deposition, and I guess the first question the doctor gets is something along the lines of, "walk me through what happened" and the doctor says, "I don't know what you want me to say, man. I'm a tit guy. Always have been."
A Baby Attorney's Mistake
I had a client come in and spin me this yarn about how he owed all these child support arrears and the payments are killing him and could I file a petition to have the payment reduced. He spins this tale of his spouse alienating the children and that's why he never saw them. I filed the petition and the clerk called me aside one day and said I might want to review his actual divorce file, not just his child support file.
That was a wild ride. Orders of protection due to stalking, losing his visitation due to meth use, not making a single child support payment in 14 years. I do the best I can until he admits, on the stand, that he smokes a carton a week and drinks over a liter a day .... so that's over $200/week in cigarettes and liquor (and a little weed sometimes).
It did not go well. I was a baby attorney at the time and I could tell the judge wanted to tear me a new one for even filing this, but I was so beaten down by the end of the hearing that it would have been child abuse at that point.
These Actors Seemed Miscast But Absolutely Nailed The Role | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe Actors Who Seemed Miscast But Absolutely Nailed The RoleFew people bought into the idea of Bryan Cranston in the role of Walter White before Breaking Bad...
A group of three young boys in my city drowned their neighbour's cat and recorded themselves doing it with their phones. The videos were copied by their friends and would inevitably be shown to the jury in court.
It was a case of the evidence speaking for itself. All I could really do was to argue for lighter punishment using their age as defense and the disastrous effect that group mentality can have on young people.
Trial Hasn't Even Started Yet
Young lad, bail hearing for weapons and drugs charges, had a decent shot at getting bail. Then he decided to give the judge the middle finger and told him to F off. Safe to say bail was denied. It'll be at least 4 months between that hearing and when trial starts...
A Secret Family
I had a family client whose ex wasn't letting him see his kid. So we were in court with him explaining how important parenting was to him, how much he loved being a father, etc.
After 45 minutes of this the mother says 'I don't know why he's saying this, he abandoned his other kids'.
Cue me who has never heard him mention having other kids. Turned out, yeah, 100% abandoned them. Has had no contact for years, never made any efforts.
Please give your lawyers important information especially if another party involved knows your secrets.
Being A Karen
My 1L summer I worked at a criminal defense firm and got tasked with watching all the police footage from our OWI (operating a vehicle while intoxicated) cases, my FAVORITE involved a woman (our client] calling police on some teens swimming at the apartment complexes indoor pool.
She claimed they were drinking, they clearly weren't. So, the cops ask them to try and keep it down and are about to be on their way when, for some insane reason, our client drives up to the community building (her apartment unit was across the street) like a bat out of hell.
You clearly see her almost hit an officer, then have the audacity to start yelling at them to do their job. . . You see where this is going right?
Homegirl was drunk. It was obvious from her entire demeanor. Also she left her home only wearing one shoe. She was legitimately in no risk of police conflict prior to this.... she definitely got an OWI. 🤷♀️ mind ya business folks.
Half A Bottle Of Vodka ... And Mom
I had a client come in for a DWI. She was about 40 and her mother came with her. She went into this story about her medications and how she wasn't drinking and she was framed by her ex that was the supervising sergeant of the officer who arrested her.
There was some difficulty getting the video from the prosecutors, but eventually we got it. Up to that point she had insisted on a trial. I took her (without her mom) to watch the video. She was wasted. Couldn't walk straight. Clearly intoxicated. Admitted on the video she drank half a bottle of vodka before driving.
I asked her if she thought we could convince the jury she wasn't intoxicated. She then agreed to take the reduction I had worked out for her (thankfully the prosecutor hadn't watched the video yet). Her mother was furious with me. I told her it was the clients decision; not mine or the moms.
Client eventually reached out to thank me for not showing the video to her mom. Weird relationship.
A Klepto ClientGiphy
Late night closing on a multimillion dollar deal. This was about 120 billable hours into my week (worst week of my career). Client came into our office to sign the papers and finish the negotiation. We finally got the deal signed up around 2 in the morning with the bankers set to initiate wires when businesses opened.
As the client was leaving, he took a decorative vase from the front desk of the firm on his way to the elevators. I was finishing up documents and didn't see it happen. Earlier in the week he'd been talking about taking some of our office chairs because they were nice and he was paying the bills anyway.
Long story short, client was a kleptomaniac and it cost the partner on the deal about $20k out of his own pocket because his client was stealing random items from our office.
Payment Up Front
I'm an employment lawyer. I was representing the guy accused of sexual harassment. He did it. It went poorly for him. I made sure I got paid up front.
My Brother's Stalker
I'm pretty sure the lawyer who served the girl who sued my brother had that same question for her.
My brother started dating the girl right after he and his first fiancé called things off. From the get-go this new girl was bat-sht. He brought her home to hang out and she burst into my room without warning to introduce herself and tried to hang out with me.
She told my brother she wanted him to get me, our mom, and our step-dad together downstairs so we could all meet and play board games. She found our dad and stepmom on Facebook and friended them. She was the weirdest clingy girl I've ever seen. My brother wasn't looking for that kind of relationship so he ended it with her.
This girl proceeded to fck with our house, his car, his friends, she started making calls to the local police saying she'd seen criminal mischief happening and she thought it was my brother. After months of trying to ignore her and hoping she'd go away it didn't work.
My brother came home and found her sitting on our porch with this other girl. Apparently they were in a relationship and they wanted my brother to have sex with them and get them pregnant so they could have kids. My brother snapped after months of stalking and basically threatened her with violence if she didn't leave him the hell alone.
A few weeks later he got served to show in court to determine an order of protection against him filed by that girl. He didn't bring a lawyer and he didn't expect her to have one.
Anyway, her lawyer started talking about how my brother had threatened his client and she felt like she was in danger and how my brother deserved to be locked up. She also tried to have him banned from being near the local elementary schools, for reasons unknown to us.
My brother was entitled to call witnesses so he called our mother, me, our stepdad, and the three friends. Each of us detailed the months of stalking and property destruction. Then my brother presented the photos he had of everything she'd done, the screenshots of messages sent to him, to me, to our relatives, on cellphone and social media.
Based on the look on her lawyer's face she hadn't mentioned (and had probably lied about it) she'd instigated everything. My brother was given an order of protection against her, that she ended up breaking a few weeks later. She moved away after she was released from county jail and last I heard she sells her body for drugs and money.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
Animals are sources of endless fascination.
Particularly in their natural habitat.
But while most people like to admire animals from afar, others like to know more about what goes on when they're not being watched.
And more often than not, what they find is shocking, to say the least.
Redditor Shoggy was eager to learn the most out there, unbelievable facts people have learned about various animals, leading them to ask:
What are some f**ked up animal facts?
"A polar bear will calmly stalk up to you and start eating you alive without roaring or charging."
"Like how you would just walk across the kitchen to pick up an apple and start eating while going about your day."
"No drama, no theatrics, just murder."- Malphos101.Polar Bear Food GIF by BBC AmericaGiphy
One way to blow off a date.
"Female dragonflies fake their deaths and crash to the ground and play dead when stalked by an unwelcome lover."- SuvenPan.
Body and soul
"Put simplistically, male angler fish bite into and get absorbed by the female during mating."-tagibear.
They call them "killer whales" for a reason.
"Orcas are one of the very few apex predators of the ocean."
"They’ll actually hunt great white sharks, rip them open and eat their livers (and sometimes heart) as a sort of ocean delicacy."- TheRestForTheWicked.
"Killer whales will slap a seal into the air resulting in them dying from the fall just because."
"Not to get food or defense, but just because they’re bored."- FuzzyRoach642.
Something to keep in mind before kissing...
"Lobsters pee out of their faces."- NotACyclopsHonest.
Something that weird looking can't be real.
"The Royal Society thought that a taxidermied platypus was a prank when they saw the first one."
"Apparently naturalists would frequently send each other frankenstein'd abominations for goofs."- bjanas.
"Camels have specially evolved canine teeth for the express purpose of biting off balls of other male camels- OneNastyJaguar.wildlife camel GIFGiphy
"Let's get ready to rumble!"
"In Tasmanian Devil mating season, the male has to beat the female into submission."
If he fails, the female beats the male up."- bugboyjohnny.
A very brief time on this earth
"The honeybees you see in your yard are in the last 2 to 3 weeks of their lives."- Fit-Environment-8140.
Fascinating facts indeed.
Though, after learning some of these facts, best to behold these creatures within the safety of a zoo or aquarium.
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Have you ever rolled your eyes as a friend tried to convince you to try the latest fad, eat at a restaurant that had not appealed to you, or watch a movie or TV show that didn't spark your fancy?
Then, after reading about it more, discover it was all that was missing from your life?
Or, on the flip side, have you ever stopped watching what was once your favorite TV show, eating at your favorite restaurant, or partaking in the fad of the moment, upon learning a little more about it?
They say ignorance is bliss, and perhaps the saying is accurate.
Reading up on various fads, foods and movies has the potential to permanently change our opinions of them, for better or worse.
Redditor Pineapple_WarpDrive was curious to know the many things fellow Reddit users changed their opinions on after a bit of research, leading them to ask:
"What is something you changed your stance on after learning more about it?"
Getting away from screens
"I worked for an agency selling social media services to clients and I had to learn about it."
"The more I learned, the less I wanted to work with social media."
Round and round we go...
"Based on all the complaints, I assumed they were confusing and unnecessary."
"When my city put in a bunch, I realized that I no longer had to wait 3 minutes at all of the punishment lights."
"Love roundabouts now."
"Of course that didn't stop the older population of the city from trying to have them removed."
"One guy even ran for city council on the platform that he would immediately put the stoplights back in."
"Change is hard, I guess."- AlternatePersonMan.episode 4 roundabout GIFGiphy
My feet have never been happier.
"I didn't think orthopedic shoes were for me, but I stand corrected." - user deleted
I'm worth more than this.
"More specifically, working hard in a corporate environment."
"I like to work hard for things that I own and maintain, my home, my family, my body, my hobbies."
"But I've worked for almost 20 years for big tech companies."
"I've started at entry level jobs and worked up to middle management."
"I've made 6 figures."
"What I've noticed is that they want to pay you less and keep training and experience as a reward."
"That is to say, you are not working for a paycheck."
"You are working towards the next thing."
"But they convince everyone to work hard in an entry level position, working unpaid overtime and you might be rewarded with a higher job."
"Statistically, you will not be promoted."
"There are 30 people on your team who all have that same goal and you can't all be supervisor or manager."
"Now, I just work for my paycheck."
"If you would like me to work harder, you can pay me more."
"I'm not going to go above and beyond for 2 years just to get passed over again."- KevinAnniPadda.Pay Me Bitch Better Have My Money GIFGiphy
"Lifting weights doesn’t make you 'bulky' as a woman and is one of the best things you could do for yourself not only in terms of body composition but in terms of posture, activities of daily living, mobility, joint/bone health, etc."
"It changed my entire life."- clauseandpaws.
It's your decision and no one else's.
"Empathy for the choices people make when they are not able to fully control themselves ."
"I.E. addiction, mental health crisis/episodes."
"Having personal experience on both the receiving and giving ends really deepened my empathy and understanding that allows me to have a more nuanced and individualized approach to these kinds of things now."- theoriginalsmore.
If you take a closer look...
"That case where McDonald's had to pay a bunch of money to a woman who spilled hot coffee on herself." - user deleted
Don't knock it till you've tried it.
"All the guys I grew up with that played were huge d-bags."
"Years later a neighbor dragged me out on a nice day and I’ve been playing ever since."
"10+ years."- moarturnips.
Getting the help you need.
"My upbringing is within an asian household so when it comes to dealing with emotions, we tend to shove that into jar and move on."
"I used to think that receiving therapy is for the mentally ill, weak etc."
"I don't have 'problems' therefore I don't need therapy."
"But after recent events in 2021 with certain people I tried therapy and after a few sessions it just revealed some baggage I wasn't even aware of."
"Honestly I wish I started earlier when I was in my 20s."
"I would be more emotionally prepared, and would probably have had healthier relationships with women if I had dealt with the trauma growing up and from my first relationship that devastated me."- Jono-san.
"Not sure I can think of anything I DIDN'T change my stance on after learning about it."- RandoKaruza.
It is amazing how your opinion might change on something after a little research.
Or, just by actually doing it.
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Serial killers capture the attention of the public.
"Serial killer" is recognized by the FBI as a distinct classification of murderer differing from a "mass murderer" or "spree killer" or "contract killer."
Documentaries, books, TV shows and films have all been made about the lives and crimes of these killers—many of their names are part of pop culture.
But what about the people who lived to tell about their encounter with a killer? What were these killers like day to day?
Redditor LiamTheGuyYaKnow asked:
"People who have encountered or saw a serial killer in their lives, how did it feel? What was the interaction like?"
"I encountered Adam Strong."
"He used to work at the gas station right around the corner from my in-laws’ house. I saw him there once."
"I was sitting in the car while my (then boyfriend) husband went inside to pay for gas, and Strong came over and stood right by my window, he was just hanging around the gas pumps. I just felt an overwhelming feeling of fear and disgust, I thought he was the grossest thing I’d ever seen, he didn’t even seem human."
"When the news broke of him, my in-laws were shocked. He’d served my MIL at that gas station a million times."
"That gas station is in the same plaza as a Tim Hortons. My brother-in-law used to hang around that Tim Hortons, and smoke outside, and Strong would often join him, they got to know each other. They weren’t friends, but they took smoke breaks together semi often.
"Also, my husband and I were walking through the park/lakefront in Oshawa all day Sunday, right before they found the body of Rori Hache."
Lonnie David Franklin Jr.
"I lived down the street from the 'Grim Sleeper' when I was a child to my early teens (after his active years).
"Whenever I walked my dogs I used to walk past his house and talk to him whenever he was outside."
"I never received serial killer vibes from the guy who murdered 25+ people, he was really nice and always spoke when he saw me."
"My sister-in-law encountered Ivan Milat, one of the two men that inspired the Wolf Creek horror movie series. She was travelling the east coast of Australia for a few weeks with her brother."
"One night, her and her brother were having jerky and beer by a campfire when Milat sat down at their campfire. When she first saw him, she thought he was park ranger because of his style of dress. She thought he was going to tell them that they built their campfire in a prohibited area, but instead he commented on what a beautiful evening it was and pointed out some of the notable stars in the sky."
"Ivan never properly introduced himself. He just sat down and started chatting. He asked my sister-in-law where she was from, and she told him Darwin."
"He said, 'What's a Darwin girl doing all the way out here?' My sister-in-law explained that she was on a road trip. She seemed to pique his interest when she told him that instead of doing the usual beach vacation, she wanted to do something a little more rugged, like explore caves, do a little rock climbing, and hike trails that were not popular with the tourists."
"My sister-in-law says that Ivan was friendly, and he had a lot of ideas about places she might like to go, including a cave that had a waterfall inside, which was a bit of a hidden gem not well-known to tourists."
"She felt comfortable talking with him, and when he invited her and her brother to join him at his campsite for some rabbit stew and beer, she would have said yes, but her brother instantly turned him down. Ivan's response to the rejection was a slight 'Well, I tried' shrug of the shoulders."
"He went back to his campsite, and her brother quickly packed their things in their rented Land Rover, and they wound up sleeping in the Rover outside a well-lit gas station that night."
"She said what was so scary about that night is that she felt almost immediately comfortable around Ivan, no red flags whatsoever. He reminded her of one of her uncles that worked construction—one of those rugged but worldly kind of guys, while her brother was immediately suspicious of the charming stranger."
"She kind of wonders what would have happened to her if her brother had not been there that night."
"This whole thread makes me wonder how many serial killers I’ve met in my 50 years."
FBI estimates are that between 25 to 50 active serial killers are currently in the United States.
But author, researcher and former detective Michael Arntfield believes the number active is as many as 4000 based on the definition of serial killer as a "person who has killed three or more people in a period of more than a month."
Angel Maturino Resendiz
"My cousin was killed by the Texas railroad killer in the 90s."
"I never knew her and I was really young, but my mom did. She had stayed with them recently when visiting Texas."
"Karen Sirnic was my first cousin once removed. She and her husband were bludgeoned to death in a church, where the husband was a pastor."
Harry Edward Greenwell
"He was in our small town for 20 years, worked for the Railroad. Grew vegetables which he sold at the local farmers market. Frequented the local diner & liquor store."
"Known throughout the community as an odd guy, but no one expected what he had done. His step kids used to throw parties in high school.
"Just months ago DNA linked him to 3 murders, assaults & 2 attempted murders & assaults in the late 80's, & early 90s. Died of cancer ten years ago."
"Just a surreal crazy feeling for everyone to find out he did such horrible things. Was nice to neighbors & everyone in the community."
"Murders took place several states away. They dubbed him the I-65 killer."
Ian Brady and Myra Hindley
"My Auntie was nearly a victim of the 'Moors Murderers'."
"She was walking home from school one day, when a land rover pulled up next to her and rolled its window down. There was a lady driving, she told my Auntie to get in and she'd drive her home from school."
"My Auntie said she didn't get in cars with strangers. The woman said that she was a family friend and my Grandma had sent her to pick her up."
"My Auntie noticed that there was a motorbike parked just up the road and the rider was watching this go on. She had the good sense to run into a nearby shop and didn't come out til they left."
"Sure enough, a year or so later, she saw the woman's face all over the news. It was Myra Hindley. It also came out that while Myra was luring victims into the car, Ian Brady would follow behind on his motorbike.
"My Auntie says she just instinctively felt there was something very 'off' about the situation, and that the woman seemed 'too keen' to get her in the car."
"I grew up about a block and a half from Bob Berdella. He was eventually caught for picking up teenage gay males and torturing and killing them. Prior to that he was, from what I remember, a pretty normal and fairly social person. He was actually part of the neighborhood watch group that my dad was on."
"He ran an 'oddities' shop at the flea market near our house called Bob's Bizarre Bazaar, which I guess is a little weird."
"I still remember the day he was caught. I was over playing at a friend's house whose father was a police sergeant. There was a frantic knocking at the front door and like thirty seconds later my friend's dad asked us to go play at my house for a while."
"One of Bob's would-be victims had escaped by shimmying out of a second-floor window while Bob was at work. The man, basically naked, ran across the street and started pounding on doors and the first people that answered were next door to the house I was playing at."
"They immediately came next door, knowing a cop lived there."
"So Bob lived across from a police sergeant for years, torturing, raping, killing, and burying his victims in dog food bags in his backyard, never being caught."
"This all happened just as school was getting out for the summer and my parents just let us stay home while they worked instead of doing daycare. Most days we'd hang out in the backyard behind Bob's which was slightly elevated above his, watching the cops dig up dead bodies."
"My mom claimed the number of cops in the neighborhood for the next two months was so large that we were probably safer there than at a daycare."
The English term and idea of "serial killer" are generally attributed to FBI Special agent Robert Ressler, who is documented using the term "serial homicide" in 1974.
Credit for making the term official often goes to LAPD detective Pierce Brooks, who created the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program (ViCAP) system in 1985.
While some law enforcement sets the threshold for serial killers at 4 or more murders, some require only 2.
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As someone who was forced to watch Butterfly Effect more times than should be legal, I've developed a bit of a knee-jerk NOPE reaction to the idea of time travel.
They say shows jump the shark when they start including ridiculous stuff just for the shock views (fun fact: that phrase comes from an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie literally jumps over a massive shark while water skiing.)
Reddit user, KingTonza asked:
"What would be your Main reason to go back in time?"
and long-story-short, we're all greedy curious saps who clearly could never be trusted with a timeline.
*stares in Ashton Kutcher face*
"I had a cat that died in 2018. He was the best little guy. I’d like to go back and sneak into my old apartment after past me left for work for the day and just hang out with him sometimes."
"Huh I like that. Wholesome and also side-steps the problem of running into past selves."
"I never had cats but will do this with my dogs."
"I just lost my boy last year. Even though I still have my little girl, I still miss him so much. I will visit all the pets I've lost throughout the years."
Jurassic NopeConfused Jurassic Park GIF by VidiotsGiphy
"I really want to see dinosaurs."
"I know, I know, odds are high it would end badly for me. I just really love dinosaurs."
"I'm sure they want to see you too."
"The Libyans chasing me in a mall parking lot at 2am with an RPG."
"I'm sorry but I really really misread this and missed the movie reference because I thought you said lesbians"
"Now THAT'S heavy"
The Necessary Nerd Answer
"To stop the burning of the library of Alexandria"
"When I was an adolescent and reading porno mags, I can still remember reading one of the models saying that the burning of the library at Alexandria was the greatest crime in history."
"Quite an intellectual that model was."
"This would make the year 2000 be the year 2500 technologically"
"So. Much. Lost. Learning."
Best. Party. Ever.happy homer simpson GIFGiphy
"Stephen Hawking’s time travel party."
"The only appropriate reason to time travel."
"I wouldn't go. Or if I did I'd swear him to secrecy."
"For all we know the place could of been packed with time travelers, and he took that info to the grave."
"Buy bitcoin when it first came out..."
"Kicking myself for not buying some back in 2016."
"I worked with a guy who had a sizable amount and I would make fun of him for it. I was stupid and knew pretty much nothing about investing back then."
"I had about $50k just chilling in my savings. I could be a pretty rich man right now, instead I'm broke and saddled with student loan debt. Fml."
"I wanted to buy some back in 2009 but had no idea how. Probably would have been scammed in the end anyways."
"Imagine the guy who spent thousands of bitcoins on a pizza"
"With the knowledge I have now, travel 20 years in the past and avoid a lot of mistakes... and become overlord of the whole world obviously."
"I don't know. That seems like a lot of responsibility."
"Can I be overlord of like 50 acres in the woods and a dope cabin?"
"Overlord is good. Me? I prefer All-Being, Master of Time & Space!"
"Most mistakes are healthy and are what shape us. I wouldn't have fixed any mistakes if I got a million dollars for it."
Curiosity Killed The Redditor
"Honestly just to see how everyday life was in like the 1400's for the average person. Feel like that's not something we know a lot about, or maybe just I don't know about."
"This seems like a bit of a foolish wish."
"I want it too."
"I'd want to bring along a bottle of antibiotics and a bar of deodorant soap, though."
"It was probably crap. Working long hours of hard labour is pretty much your only option. Unless you are born into aristocracy and live on an estate."
"So like ... you'd probably already be dead, depending on how old you are."
"This is a great choice, but I'm afraid that the diseases that you carry will be destructive for the people in the 1400s"
"Wait, what if a time traveling Redditor was the real source of the plague?"
"To witness firsthand important events from the past and see how accurate our history books are"
"Let me know who actually killed JFK."
"I wonder if we were there as eyewitnesses maybe it would just seem like chaos . . . hmmm . . . what event would you like to witness."
"Too many to list, honestly, but definitely the battles of Alesia, Cannae, and the siege of Orleans, as well as the sermon on the mount, and the (start of the) Hijrah."
The Paradoxback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"I want to go back in time to prevent myself from going back in time"
"This is the true time travel paradox"
"Are you implying that you have already travelled back in time?"
So yeah ... maybe let's just not.
I have a sneaking suspicion we'd get ourselves in a lot of trouble and end up jumping way more than sharks.
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