People Who've Known A Murderer Break Down Red Flags They Didn't Notice At The Time

For all the crime or mystery shows people watch perhaps the scariest instances are the tragedies that happen in real life. The most startling thing is while many murderers display red flags, a large amount tend to be seemingly nice people. Criminologists have found that in domestic-violence-related homicide in particular the perpetrator tends to employ an outwardly charming, charisma-filled act as part of their method.

Have you ever met a murderer? It leaves you feeling gross. There was one murderer in our small wooded town that I met a few different times. He was a business owner of a run down pawn shop and the apartments above it since I could remember. Also since I could remember-dude was creepy.

As even teens if mom needed to run in to grab something like a cheap small appliance or movies we had to wait in the car. When older and working teens my sister had to deliver pizza there once. When she walked in the owner and a couple of guys hanging out there just stopped, then went "oh a wo-man!" and blank stared at her until she left.

We always heard the town rumor mill how he would rent to women in exchange for "favors" etc and he was on the state offender registry. You could just tell there was something wrong there. I personally only went inside the shop twice in my life and left quickly because of the odd atmosphere.

Years go by, the now old man is still running his increasingly rundown pawnshop and rentals and then BOOM police tape everywhere, scanners going crazy, his name is all over the news. Apparently after a conflict his older son went and confessed to helping his father clean up the crime scene.

This man had been involved with a woman and she had gone missing in 1998. No leads ever come about and people decided she must have runaway. It turns out that after a conflict the owner had murdered her cold blood. He then called his son to help him. He had dismembered her and burned her body in the furnace of the pawn shop.

He then continued to stay and work right there every day until he was convicted in 2013 of the henious crime.

While many red flags were noticed many of his oddities seemed to get brushed under the rug following the "poor people are crazy but people with money are just eccentric" rule while enjoying the privileges being a business owner in a tiny town offer.

Wanting to hear others encounter with real life monsters Rediitor White-cherries asked the online community:

"People who knew murders before they killed someone, what are some red flags you didn't notice at the time?"

The answers were plentiful and disturbing.

"He never had a sense of right/wrong.”

“My childhood friend killed his parents. His dad was my dad's best friend. Red flags? Drinking at an extremely young age, like 9."

“He never had a sense of right/wrong. Cruelty to animals. It reads like a profile of a future murderer. Heavy drug use did the rest of the work and he killed both of them for oxy."

“Since he was my friend, I guess I missed it all at the time. But my parents got me away from him with a quickness once I mentioned some things to them.“ andrewfnluck

The school bully...

“​I went to school with three eventual murderers, but only one showed red flags to me. He was an extremely violent bully. He'd just attack people in the halls.”

“Trying to punch guys in the balls. Grab your nipple and twist. Punch kids in the arm or back. Typical bully stuff except he put everything into it. You wouldn't know he was even around and suddenly he was attacking you.”

“He murdered a classmate of ours who I really liked. It was in 7th grade and he beat him to death over a bag of pot. He was convicted of 2nd degree murder and was released 6 years later and has a long rap sheet.” GrandUnhappy9211

​Total shock...

So I went to a big university that had a weird close knit feel. There was this girl that I knew but I wasn't friends with. She was nice but very over the top bubbly, enthusiastic about EVERYTHING and super extroverted. She was just a little much for me. Good in very, very small doses.”

“She started dating this guy who was the opposite of her, shy, quiet, followed her around like a little puppy. I can't remember now if it was over a holiday break, like thanksgiving or Christmas or if it was just a weekend but we all found out that his parents, younger brother and dog were all killed in a house fire.”

“Everyone felt so bad for him. Her family took him in. Support poured out from everywhere. Then we find out he killed all of them and then set the house on fire to cover it up. Shocked everyone.” Mom-tired_send-wine


“Nothing. I would have told you he was truly one of the nicest, kindest guys I'd ever met. He was a regular customer at a place my SIL bartended at. He was always nice, friendly, funny, a genuinely good guy."

“When the Husband and I would visit SIL at work he'd chat with us like we were old friends. He obviously had a bit of a crush on SIL but she was involved and had a small child and he respected that. Never even hit on her."

“There were many nights he'd stay past close to help her clean up, take trash out, lug kegs for her. Sometimes they'd go over to the after hours bar with a couple other people. They got to know each other quite well over several years (or so we thought)."

"Then one night SIL' s friend was at the bar and had too much so she couldn't drive. He offered to drive her home. SIL would never watch an impaired friend go out alone with just any customer but she never thought twice about this."

"In fact, she even thought it was so like him to offer... Such a nice guy!! She was happy her friend would get home safe ... They found her friend's body the next day."

"She had been strangled to death. He apparently drove around with her body until almost sun up not sure what to do with her when he decided to return to the bar."

"He dumped her body in the back alley next to the dumpster. SIL had to testify against him. In court, it was brought to light that he had a history of violence against women (no murders, but several assaults). We were all absolutely shocked. BTW - He got Life." Kteefish

People Break Down The Creepiest Research Holes They've Ever Fallen Down | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

​When a dv victim decides to leave they are at the greatest risk of fatal attack.

My cousin's husband. When they first got married, he was a decent guy though I had only met him after they got married. I thought it was weird that she had a kid that wasn't living with them, but I was young and brushed it off. Over a decade later, I find out he was abusive and she was divorcing him. He shot her outside her workplace. It was on the news. Thankfully he was caught not long after." KosherWitch

I always think about that one interaction.”

​“So I worked with a guy, and one day he seemed upset. He got married young and he feared his wife, who separated from him, was starting to date his ex best friend. I said, "that's tough, sorry to hear it, you're young, next…"…..he immediately got this intense look and said he'd kill them.”

“I told him you don't want to say that, and blew it off. It seemed like blowing off steam kind of comment, but I was surprised at the Intensity…normally an extremely laid back guy. However, I felt it strange enough that I wanted to walk away.”

“Six months later he went to his old apartment at 6am, and the two were in bed. He entered their bedroom, put them on their knees and shot each in the head. He then put the gun to his head and ended it. The girl flinched at the shot, and survived a head shot. The new boyfriend died. I always think about that one interaction.” CLO54

“They were just shady a** people...”

​“My friends husband killed her after they broke up by bludgeoning her to death and then took the car and her body and burned it in the woods. Big red flags from this guy was, he was still with his ex wife and they were in a polyamorous relationship with extreme jealousy, he was a total douche, didn't work, very possessive and jealous, and had hit her a few times before that I knew of.”

“He killed her because she broke up with them and was taking the house they had bought. He fought chickens and dogs also. He was using her for a free ride for insurance and financial support. His ex wife and son (17) were also in on the murder and helped to plan it.”

“They were just shady a** people and the world would have been a better place if they had never existed and had a child. We reported her missing an hour after she did not show from work and her daughter had found evidence that something had happened at the end of their driveway, she wasn't found for a few weeks but we all knew who was behind it as soon as she went missing.” AeBS1978

Creepy red flags...

I worked with Edward Paul Morris right up until the point he murdered his pregnant wife and their children. Can't say it was so much missed signs as much as signs that are even more disturbing in hindsight.”

“On the surface he seemed like a polite, friendly guy if a little awkward. He would make small talk with me in the office breakroom, almost always complaining about his wife and stress at home. He treated it like chit-chat but it was clear he couldn't stop thinking about it.”

“When a mutual co-worker and I moved into a rental house together he offered to come mow the lawn (he did some yard maintenence work on the side). We didn't have curtains up yet and I was in my new bedroom putting clothes away when I realized he was outside, lawn mower running but just standing there and staring at me through the window. Creeped me right the f**k out.” serenidade

So sad...

​“A guy I knew from HS stalked an ex GF, ran through her sliding glass door, shot and killed her then killed himself. He had evidently been stalkerish with some other exes as well but because it was in another county it wasn't easy to find. There was a push to create a central register of people with protective orders like they do sex offenders in Texas because of him.”

“He hid it very well. I knew he had some substance abuse issues but he had stopped drinking and started going to church. Turns out that was even BS, he was going to the church his ex went to so he could talk to her. Edit: Monica's LawTheProle

“Tony was legitimately out of his mind..."

I am incredibly late to this party but wanted to add my own. Best friend's Mom was murdered by her long term boyfriend/common law husband; stabbed 27 times while she was in bed. They were severe drug addicts but she'd gotten clean about 6 months before hand and her and my former bestie had started being able to have a genuine relationship again."

“He was even able to introduce his girlfriend, start forming a relationship with her again, and say 'I love you' and mean it. Tony however didn't stop the drug use, and either via meth injection or heroin, had an intense Vietnam flashback and murdered her."

“My friend and I had been on the outs at the time because he'd fallen in with a pretty bad crowd and was beginning to head down the same road his mum had. When this happened, his girlfriend and I (who were good friends and who started the healing between the two of us) heard he was escorted to the office by the resource officers, and we assumed the worst."

“Left school to try and figure out what was going on, and Ill never forget when she got the call from him, asking if he was okay and her face just went white. I grabbed the phone and was like 'hey it's me, are you okay?'"

"'uh... no... i dont think so. My mom just got murdered.'"​

I said ‘we'll be there in five minutes’, hung the phone up, and rushed to his house. Got him out and over to mine where my mum, his 'adopted' mom while growing up, me and his girlfriend all kept him company.”

“His druggie friends heard what happened and came over to say something and the thing one of them said was ‘Sorry your mom got shanked’ and I had to hold him back from hurting the dude. They got kicked out and screamed at, I spent the next week with him, spoke at the funeral, did everything i could to be there for him.”

Red flags was definitely the intravenous methamphetamine use. Ftr, Tony was legitimately out of his mind when this happened, he immediately called the cops on himself, said he just killed his wife and waited til the cops came, then plead guilty and is serving life i believe in the state pen.”

“I can’t find any links to the news articles, just her service which has too much personal information. My friend was supposed to speak, i forgot that he wasnt able to and i had to wing the eulogy.” EndsongX23

​He had a propensity for violence...

“I lived across the street from a man that murdered his infant by violently shaking him. When arrested, he was apathetic and the defense tried blaming it on being overly exhausted.”

“Red flags? Tons. He was an abusive piece of sh*t. I was only a teen, but a year prior I called the cops on him when I saw him abusing his wife and other son outside.”

“His wife was trying to get away from him with their baby who was about 4 months at the time (different baby- this one was 1 at the time of his sibling's death). The wife was screaming as the husband angrily was grabbing the boy from her. They were fighting over this tiny little child like he was a rag doll.”

“I can still see everything about that day because he genuinely had no regard his son's life and he didn't care who saw it. We were a small cul de sac filled triplexes and most of the bystanders were children. A woman ran up and tried to get him off of them. Many other neighbors spoke out against him during his trial for many other incidences because it wasn't an accident.” neonpouts

​A Ted Bundy encounter...

“Back in the early 70s, before we heard of Ted Bundy, he sat on my couch w/crutches & military-type clothing. He was collecting for disabled vets as his story went. My roommate came home & showed discomfort when I introduced him & his story. I thought he lived in our apt. building.”

“I forget how we dismissed him, maybe no money to contribute? Down the road we have all heard/read of his history. At some point my roommate & I moved to Arizona & were shocked to see his face on TV & realized she may have saved me from death. Red flag? I'm not certain there were any, just a door to door salesman (unlike these days) or roommates gut instinct?” granny1940

Red flags everywhere...

“Well, can't say no one noticed the red flags before hand but... When I was in high school I briefly dated a guy who had a reputation for being violent, and had allegedly choked out a previous girlfriend (I know, I know, I was a dumb in high school). Nothing happened while we dated, and I ended things a couple of months in."

“Flash forward a handful of years, he ended up killing his wife/mother of his young son, along with her mom before taking both his young son and the step-daughter on a high speed police chase that ended with him attempting, and failing, to kill himself." danielachante

one month into my first jail sentence...”

“I was 19 and one month into my first jail sentence when a a man in for 3rd dui got mad about possession of the remote control. He wanted to go in the showers and fight, he was extremely pissed over the remote and this was only one of few times I had even heard him speak.He was a cold and disliked (in our block) 40 something year old.”

“I considered it and jokingly pretended to head to the showers. Before I had to make a decision breakfast showed up and the issue was forgotten. A few months later we were both released and a short while from that he strangled his girlfriend and put her in the trunk of her car and dumped her. Yikes.” Abject-Ads-9405

Issues early on...

“I went to school with Ian Long for a few years, as a kid mainly. Crazy to think even as a kid, the issues he had were numerous. I mean, he had all the signs. He didn't have many friends, he had severe behavioral issues - I remember that being the reason he transferred to my elementary school.”

“I can only attest to my 10-12yr old state of mind so I missed everything, but when I read his name In the news - I remembered him instantly and just honestly didn't feel shocked at all...” Friendly-Bill-4023

"He thought I was smart and a great girl, but he expected better out of me because I…. Didn't like Donald Trump."

“I briefly dated a guy who ended up killing himself and his kids. He was seemingly a happy go lucky guy, really social and talkative and good looking. I really liked him. There were a couple of things I couldn't get past, though.”

He would never, ever contact me first. I was young and brushed it off for a while, but decided one day to just not contact him first and see what happened, he posted some things on Facebook about how ‘someone has a chance to make him very happy’ but he never would call or text first so that ended that.”

“We liked each other, but he wanted me to chase him I guess? Once he got really mad at me, because we had planned to meet up at the local motorcycle shop and look at motorcycle stuff together. There was a crazy early spring ice storm and I told him I couldn't make it, because I didn't want to drive on the awful roads.“

“For some reason he took it personally. The roads were nuts, it would be obvious to anyone else not to be out driving. We both liked and owned motorcycles, but he would NOT ride his motorcycle with me (his didn't have a rear seat, I wasn't asking him to ride on the back of mine but rather we both ride ours, together).”

"He would make these comments like, the only thing your bike is good for is bending you over etc. That is just one I can remember, but they were always like… weirdly aggressive and made me uncomfortable. I ran into him after we ended up working at the same place, and he said 'don't be a stranger'."

"Then he added me back on Facebook, and sent me an entire novel about how he thought I was smart and a great girl, but he expected better out of me because I…. Didn't like Donald trump. I mean whatever, just odd to try to argue with me over politics after telling me not to be a stranger. Probably could've talked about another topic."

"Anyways, I wouldn't have thought he would do something like that, or would hurt anyone in general. I'm not sure if any of these are even red flags but it was just the few things I noticed that didn't match up with his seemingly happy, outgoing personality." Good_Piccolo4046

The math isn't great...

“I grew up in a small rural town of 3300 people and personally knew 3 people who grew up to murder other people. Two were in my graduating class of 80 some students.The female who was my age has a documentary about her of which I cannot remember the name. The man whom was my age was a personal friend.”

“I had moved away, lost contact and was stunned to hear about it. The other guy was one year older, but of course I knew him and our families had interacted because 3,300 people for God sake. Everyone knew everyone. Can someone do the statistics on this please.” lolliegag69

Remember that if you think you or someone you know is or could be experiencing domestic violence you can get ahold of the National Domestic Violence Hotline anytime by calling 1-800-799-7233(SAFE) or by texting START to 88788. If you see something say something by calling either a hotline to local law enforcement.

A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.

Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.

There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.

No job is worth your mental and physical health.

People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community,

"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
Keep reading...Show less
People Share The Most Amazing Facts They Know About The Universe
Photo by NASA on Unsplash

There is so much we don't know about the universe.

So much, in fact, that everything there is to learn about the universe will probably never be discovered.

Mostly because the universe is constantly growing and evolving, leaving us with new things to learn about the universe literally every day.

Constantly filling our minds with uncertainty, sometimes fear, about the otherwise vast unknown.

All of this makes all facts we've discovered about the universe all the more fascinating, whether or not we have even the slightest interest in science.

Keep reading...Show less
Monogamous People Explain Whether Infidelity Would Result In An Instant Breakup
Photo by Ralph Labay on Unsplash

Romantic relationships have evolved considerably over the course of time.

Today, more and more couples who are otherwise committed to one another, in marriage or in word, have "open" relationships, where they are permitted to see other people on the side.

Also, many people are open about being in polyamorous relationships, where they might be equally committed and loving to more than one person.

Which isn't to say, however, that monogamous relationships are a thing of the past.

As many people continue to commit, body and soul, to one person and one person only.

And should one half of that couple break that commitment, it could be the effective end of that relationship.

Keep reading...Show less

The mark of a good piece of fiction is when one feels as if they actually know the characters.

Be it a film, television series or novel, there are some beloved characters we wish were actually our friends in real life, or whom we feel as if we've actually known all our lives.

As a result, when one of these characters dies, we sometimes feel as if we've actually lost a loved one.

Sometimes finding ourselves in a state of literal grieving.

Keep reading...Show less