Redditor Virtual-Bunch-9131 wanted to hear about the times we all thought someone would get fired but then didn't, so they asked:
"What is the most fireable thing you have seen someone do at work that didn’t get them fired?"
I've been left gobsmacked by the things I've seen co-workers get away with.
Whoops!
truck forklift GIFGiphy"He hit the OSHA inspector with a forklift."
ScarnAndMacklinFBI
"I'm sorry I laughed out loud at this."
solojones1138
"Work drunk. This was in car sales. The dude showed up drunk or heavy hangover constantly. But he sold a lot of cars, somehow, so they didn’t care."
MurtZero1134
"I did this for six months. Couldn’t even remember half the people I sold to but my numbers were great. Eventually, I got sent home for two weeks and told that they’d have to fire me if I drank on the job because the liability was too high. Sadly my sales dropped by about 25% selling sober."
proleterising
Info Drop
"Accidentally send out the entire company's (3,000+ employees) headcount to the company distro. The file contained everyone's salary, birthday, government numbers, etc."
Yead1971
"Ohh this reminds me of when the registrar for my graduate program accidentally sent out an Excel doc with ALL info about the students in the program. They’re GPAs, GRE scores, recruitment priority, disability status, affirmative action status, various notes about them, and a bunch of other stuff."
marmosetohmarmoset
"My boss did this once, on purpose to about 15 folks. He emailed different versions of an unlocked Excel file that had everyone else's information hidden. Right click, unhide, boom, had everyone's salary. Lol. The sad thing is that I was probably the only one that noticed."
jonjon737
Let's Pretend
Working Work From Home GIF by Bare Tree MediaGiphy"The supervisor freaked the f**k out on the sales guy and just clocked out. It was a super busy shipping day and he was just done. He got to the end of the driveway and turned around and clocked back in and they just acted like he didn't tell them to f**k off lol."
GuySaysStuff
I love when supervisor's freak out.
They reap what they sow.
Peace Out
When I worked retail, I once challenged a customer to step outside and fight. The customer - I'll never forget this - said, 'Dude, you're at work,' and walked out, shaking his head. Sometimes the customer is right!"
Brand_Ex2001
"My brother did this to a customer who was verbally berating him. The moment the customer realize this staff member didn’t value their minimum wage job nor was gonna let some idiot insult him, made the decision to calm down and apologize."
sketchysketchist
Just a Joke
"It was me, but I faked a coworker's death by putting a makeshift memorial up in his assigned parking spot on April 1st. It had his picture, flowers, a handful of candles, the whole deal. The head of HR was not amused. Everyone else loved it, though. To make matters worse, this was during peak covid. I had just returned from a small vacation and had no idea my friend I did this to had been out for 3 days due to suspected Covid."
dlebs83
It's a Boy
"In a hospital, the person went out to get a patient and called out in the waiting room, 'Where's my little (insert name of disease the infant had) baby?' Basically just told all the people in the room what disease the baby had and the mother's jaw dropped and was furious. Nothing happened. She ended up quitting on her own 3-4 years later."
Candersx
"They’re incredibly lucky. My roommate in college was nearly kicked out of nursing school because after a birth she told the grandparents sitting in the lobby, 'It’s a boy' for others around to hear. She was a stand-up, grade-A student with no issues in school aside from this. HIPPA violations are some serious stuff."
curious_24
Excess
Kermit The Frog Reaction GIF by Muppet WikiGiphy"Watched a coworker rent an entire big box retail store parking lot to a BMW dealership for cash on the side so they could park excess inventory. Corporate didn't know. He pocketed all the money."
OopsNiceTry
People can really be brazen.
How do you NOT get fired for theft? LOL.
"Coworkers that couldn’t handle the sexual tension anymore and went for it. How’d it turn out?"
A Very Costly Mistake
"Really poorly tbh."
"Extremely drunk sex and ended up losing our friendship."
"We were 24 and worked at a bank together, we used to be best friends."
"But now we haven’t talked in years."- sarruhgirl·
Nope
"I have been rejected respectfully each time."- kingspooky93·
There Can Be Too Much Of A Good Thing
"Not great."
"Dated for just over a year (on and off), but now that we’re not together, it sucks having to see her almost every day."-StellarSandDweller·
It Happened...
"After years of sexual tension we did it."
"It wasn't anything close of what we expected, never talked about it again and we went back to just being friends."-dimensionsanalyst
Lucky For Him, Less So For Her...
"She's been suffering my snoring for 20 years now."- get_off_my_lawn_n0w
Didn't Go Unnoticed
"HR all of a sudden wanted a 'friendly chat'."- DiggingUpTheCorpses
Ups And Downs...
"Made out in the walk-in fridge."
"Went out for a while, got engaged, moved in together, got married, started drifting apart, realized we were growing into different people with very different long term goals, got divorced, haven’t really spoken since."
"Together for close to 11 years total."
"Main issue was kids."
"We both wanted them at first, then she no longer did."
"We cared enough for each other to not want to see the other unhappy long term, and we had an amicable split."
"We did not get married in the walk-in, nor spend a tremendous amount of time in it."
"We DID have an ice sculpture at the wedding however."
"It was not a Netflix & Chill deal, it was years and years ago, so more like Blockbuster & Chill."
"I’m good now, thanks."- gn0xious
No Issue Here...
"I run a sole proprietorship, so I 'go for it' about twice a day."
"Don't think it will last, though; I'm not really my type."- MyNSFWside
Got Out When The Getting Was Good
"It was great."
"Good sex, and then I left the job before it got weird."- TIMBURWOLF·
No Regrets Whatsoever
"It was the hottest sex I ever had."
"We are still in touch, but we are continents apart."
"I haven't met him since 2013."
"Pretty sure if we meet again, we will not waste time talking."- SingingBull
"Had sex with him two months into my employment there."
"Nineteen years later we have a mortgage in the suburbs and two children."- Extra-Simple9711·
I Love You Episode 20 GIF by The OfficeGiphyNothing But Regrets
"Terrible."
"'Don’t f**k your boss."- oyofmidmidworld
A Bit Of Good Luck?
"Been together for 5 years now and still working in the same company (different departments)."
"Both of us had multiple promotions since we got together."
"Great sex and great on saving gas and food expense as we live together now lol."- crapuccino4
You Can't Make This Stuff Up
"Not great."
"He would flirt with me and come over to hang out."
"Told how he was trying to evict his ex girlfriend from the apartment because she wouldn't leave before the lease was up (which was true btw she confirmed that)."
"He told me he liked me alot and wanted to get to know me."
"Then he decided that He wanted to convert to Mormonism."
"He became panicked about going to hell and after we would hang out (nothing sexual) he would sob."
"Full on sob."
"Begging God to forgive him."
"He and the rest of the people I worked with were tight and he would go through these depressive episodes and crash at their houses."
"I started getting bullied and harassed HARD at work."
"One day he invites me to his house to watch a movie."
"We watch the movie."
"He tries to kiss me but not really."
"I am confused as f*ck at this point and ask him to take me home."
"On the way he asks me if I like him, I said yes I really liked him."
"He asked me if I would consider dating him and maybe have a sexual relationship with him."
"I said yes because I really liked him."
"HE LAUGHED AND SAID I WAS NOTHING BUT A NYMPHO WH*RE BROUGHT TO HIM BY SATAN TO MAKE HIM STUBLE IN HIS WALK WITH GOD!"
"He said there was no way he would ever consider me because I was not A Good Mormon Girl."
"He dropped me at my car after bursting into sobs AGAIN and yelled he has to pray for his soul I sh*t you not."
"Turns out he was telling EVERYONE that I was 'forcing myself onto him' and he was uncomfortable with me."
"The bullying got worse."
"I quit with no notice."
"I WAS ONLY THERE FOR 45 DAYS."- PwrtopUltimate
Samuel L Jackson Reaction GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphyYou never know when love might hit you, and sometimes it might be on an elevator to your office.
Even so, always proceed with caution.
After all, think about how awkward it is to run into an ex or a one-night stand on the street, then think about what that would be like 8 hours a day, five days a week...
Redditor IndependentSwimmer67 wanted to discuss the times we've all suspected the scandalous relations of coworkers, so they asked:
"What are the subtle clues that indicate two coworkers may be involved in a secret sexual relationship?"
The number of co-workers I've witnessed have flings?
I could write books.
Scandal
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy"They laugh just a little too much and a little too loud at each other’s jokes."
GetOffMyLawnFFS
"They stare just a little too long…"
Meta_My_Data
Rimshot
"The new 17 year old kid where I work was overheard saying 'there's no way that Rimshot and the kitchen manager don't have something going on. You see the way they act around each other?' Me and the kitchen manager have been married for 12 years."
rimshot101
"My wife had that moment at her work. Patient transporter always stopped by and chatted up the unit clerk. Only 3 people in the department knew they had been married for decades."
DrunksInSpace
Disappear
"Always going to lunch together. Both call in sick or on vacation at the same time. Disappearing at the same time during team building or company functions. Both are working late. Leave work at the same time. None of these are conclusive but should create suspicions."
Impressive-Offer-404
"I worked in a place years ago with two co-workers who'd always disappear together for lunch and come back two hours later with McDonald's that they then ate at their desks. Not terribly subtle."
JimTheJerseyGuy
HR Ladies
"I had a boss who I was almost certain was having an affair with one of our HR ladies. They would always sneak off to go chat together, they'd go smoke together, they took lunch together every day, she'd go hang out in his office. They were both married."
"Her husband got offered a job at the company and I remember when my coworker learned about it he was like 'really?' And gave a wide-eyed glance and a nod over at our boss's office. So I wasn't the only one who thought this. As soon as her husband came to work there, all the visits stopped."
SweetCosmicPope
Restaurant Life
Tv Show Hulu GIF by The BearGiphy"Check to see if they have both significant others, if the answer is yes than they are probably doing it. Especially if it’s a restaurant."
NotGlumExamination
"If it's a restaurant, significant other or not, they're f**king. - 25 years working in restaurants."
sam_the_beagle
Oh, the restaurant life. Sex and food = Scandal.
Let's Play
Love Island Couple GIF by PeacockTVGiphy"They don't work in the same areas but are constantly together, looking at each other too much plus referencing conversations they had outside of work. They are a little too playful."
Shepard_of_fire_124
“AGAIN?”
"There was a rumor at my last job that I was sleeping with one of the cashiers. The rumor got started because she was my best friend and I would give her a hug every morning when I saw her. Most people assume men and women can’t be just friends, so obviously hugs equal sex."
"The moment I found out about the rumor I texted her fiancée and said 'Apparently Haylee and I are having an affair. It came as quite a shock to both of us, because we had no idea.' He though it was pretty funny. When I told my wife, she said 'AGAIN?' This isn’t the first time a rumor like that has been started about me."
DieHardAmerican95
Oh Emma...
"Frequent eye contact, conversations that revolve around flirting, slight touches."
Inside-Currency9002
"One time we were in a meeting with just the newbies doing training (no management) and one of the girls very lightly brushed the arm of the guy next to her while getting a pen or something and this girl Emma just stops and shouts 'WHEN DID YOU TWO START SHAGGING?!'
Wind_Yer_Neck_In
How Strange...
"My wife was pulled aside once by her religious boss who pointed out that he had noticed her leaving the building at lunch times with a strange man and that he didn't think that it was appropriate knowing that she was married."
"What he didn't know was that the 'strange man' was me. We happened to work for different companies on different floors of the same building. Some times it's best to keep out of other people's business."
MickSturbs
Hang Ups
"I worked at a law firm a while ago and one of the partners and the receptionist were having an affair. Both married and the receptionist became pregnant. I’m not entirely sure who the kid’s father is. But the way I could tell was that I was her backup coverage so any time she needed a break I would cover. The partner would call and either ask for his secretary and hang up before the transfer happened or say nothing and hang up. They both divorced their spouses and are now married."
naturalguy38
We Notice
Season Finale Moments GIF by Sweetbitter STARZGiphy"When it happened at my old job we started to notice when their lunch breaks started to align and they both walked out of a private room together everyday. They were both on their cell phones at the same time and refused to really talk to each other in person."
sunshineandcats21
The signs are there if you look closely enough, especially in certain jobs like restaurants.
Do you have any signs that we missed or funny stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
The Chanel Bandit.
GiphyThis is about 15 years ago but the office I worked in instituted a scent free policy. One woman, who was already insufferable, was so offended by it that she snuck in her perfume collection.
She'd walk down the halls and spray perfume into empty offices or cubicles when no one was looking or before everyone arrived in the morning.
This went on for well over a month or two and we had no idea who was responsible. My coworkers and I started referring to this mysterious person as the Chanel Bandit.
She was finally caught on camera in the act. She'd left for three weeks vacation and was unaware that we had installed cameras after a break in. Some of us already suspected her, as the Chanel Bandit mysteriously stopped spraying while she was away.
She quit right after she was caught. None of us were sad to see that cedar scented psycho leave. stoic_minotaur
Daycare.
I worked in childcare, and they had hired a new assistant/trainee teacher for my room (each room has 2 teachers). She just constantly argued about the dumbest crap, and always tried to argue with me about both company and state childcare policies because "that's dumb." Also was late every day her first week there. It all just started adding up until I was changing diapers and she was holding a 2 yr old child on her lap.
I see a child biting another child and say "you need to go help them" as I have a child in the middle of a very explosive poopy diaper change up on the changing table and can't leave him there obviously. She doesn't get up. I repeat it, and she says "Well I have this kid on my lap" so I say "take him off your lap". She responds "he's strong" like this grown adult is unable to move a 2 year old off her lap because of some weird super strength. Then the child bites the other child again and at that point I'm mad and tell her to get up and help them now.
She then proceeds to say "So what, I have to watch these 4 kids while you just have ONE up on the table?!" like I'm somehow supposed to have multiple children on the table at once to make her job of sitting on the floor making sure kids don't get bit twice in a row easier, and our ratios were 4:1 anyways. I finished my diaper change, stuck my head out the door to my supervisor and told her "get this lady out of my room" and they did after and wrote her up after reviewing the footage of the incident. She was fired for no call no showing the next week. I've worked with a lot of idiots in childcare but she was so crappy in such a short amount of time. ameliadenice
Never Friends.
I have a coworker who's very old-fashioned and strongly believes that males and females cannot be friends. Well, it just so happens that my manager and I, a male and a female, happen to get along quite well because of our similar ages and interests. She reported me to the other managers for it and accused me of sleeping with him. rosatenena
3 Down for Daniel!
GiphyThis guy named Daniel I used to work with at McDonald's in high school. He let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team. He had this thing about taking 5 poops a day. He would walk by on his way back from the toilet, chest out, shoulders back and triumphantly announce "that's poop number 3!"... damn Daniel. KillerKackwurst4
Memory Jog.
I had a packager operator I worked with on the machine I run. He did okay but every Monday I would have to basically retrain him on the packager controls. I guess he had an excuse though because he had a TBI from a motorcycle wreck years before. Once I jogged his memory he did good for the rest of the week. weedful_things
Gross.
I had a guy at work make a bunch of gross comments in a full break room. My husband was sitting in the break room waiting for me. Heard all of it, i walked right into HR and listed the 30 some people in this normally really quiet lunch room. That dude was so gross. Kantotheotter
"Top right corner, click on the straight line."
I worked with a guy who couldn't learn new skills. When he started he had to learn new programs and processes, just like anyone would at almost any job. He couldn't pick up on it, whether it was where to click in a software to get a certain result or how to fill out a report.
Everyone on my team took turns showing him the ropes and it never sunk in. I remember being so frustrated because he could not figure out how to minimize a window.
"Top right corner, click on the straight line." It took like 3-4 seconds for him to drag the mouse to the corner and then he'd hover around it but never on it.
Super nice guy, but impossible to work and collaborate with on projects because so much time was wasted. elevenghosts
Retail Laaaaaaazzzzzy.....
GiphyI worked with someone in retail. He was my boss, and not a particularly bad guy, but he was a control freak who had to interject his opinion during every conversation anyone was having with a customer.
This also went as far as him being in the middle of helping someone himself, stopping helping that customer to lean over to my till to "help" me with my transaction even though there was no indication I needed help and had worked there for over 5 years.
This "help" would be in the form of him telling me what button to hit next on the till to telling a customer they were wrong to have any given opinion on a topic to telling customers that their choice of entertainment they were purchasing wasn't what they were after, even if they specifically came into the store for that specific item.
He was also laaaaazzzzy as hell! Not a bad guy, but holy hell do I not miss working with him. Mendunbar
Don't be like Dan.
GiphyHis name was Dan. Dan was 37 working at a dead end job as a lab specimen processor in a windowless room for 9 hours a day. He ate only Burger King, but without the lettuce because that's "rabbit food." He drank literally a gallon of Mountain Dew a day, and was confused as to why people were horrified by that. "There's water in it" he would say. Apparently if he ate corn he would vomit and have to go to the hospital.
He would tell me he firmly believed that man and dinosaur roamed the earth at the same time, along with many other "theories" that came from his "gut." One day we got into a political argument before the 2016 election where he said "if Bernie Sanders is elected president, there will be a civil war, and I will not hesitate to kill you and your family." Dan was fired. I got out of there as soon as I could. Don't be like Dan. RedTiger013
"too nice."
My old supervisor. She was that special brand of "too nice." Laughing was her nervous tic and hoo boy it was CONSTANT. She was incapable of being assertive which is not the best quality for someone whose job is telling other people what to do. The best she could do was be passive-aggressively nice when she REALLY needed something done which just made everyone dislike her. ApocalypseWednesday
Don't talk to me....
GiphyMy coworker likes to initiate conversations, then does long pauses where you go to say something back, then he cuts you off and keeps talking. He has entire conversations almost entirely by himself. He also likes to make changes to my paperwork before its turned in.... ends up riddled with spelling mistakes while he tries to make the content look smarter. Fortunately its all electronically stamped with who made revisions. inu_yasha
About the Boy....
Worked with a girl who would sometimes just lay in the floor and play on her phone. She would routinely flip out about something her boy friend did and just start screaming curse words, sometimes in front of customers. She was eventually fired for smoking weed while on the clock. AtlantaFieldClowns
Trash.
I had a manager once who dumped trash on my desk my third day there. She said it was to remind me that taking out the trash was part of my job description (it wasn't, I was a research assistant at a mortgage firm). itkat16
Stop Thinking.
Not necessarily a "co-worker" but my old supervisor literally told me not to think, even if it's wrong that I do things her way, and not to ask questions because I should already know what to do. I had just gotten the position. mutantandproud95
SMH....
GiphyFast food. Third shift. The only other employee stayed in the bathroom doing blow. MollyXDanger502
The Arrogant.
When I was an intern, there was this old shrew who would call people into her office (my cube shared a thin wall), gossip, then call those people in to tell them what was said, etc.
She would try to frame people for sh!t she did wrong. She was so arrogant. And she refused to adapt to workforce modernization. Example: she refused to learn how to hyperlink in emails, documents, etc. A real ray of sunshine she was! mandz_camz24
most crazy is a lady.....
I have several bad ones but the one that drives me the most crazy is a lady who creates problems just so she can solve them. Ugh. She takes a simple job, finds the one tiny issue, blows that up and freaks everyone out and then "solves" it so she can be the hero. Just take the 1 minute to fix the issue in the first place. It would save the literal hours she spends working everyone up so she can be their savior. SylkoZakurra
Being at Walmart.
GiphyMy worst co-worker was one I worked with when I was a cashier at Walmart. She approached me and asked me to cash out her paycheck. I was still new at the job and never got training on how to do that function. She was sympathetic, so she walked me through how to do it. Transaction over and done, I go on about my day.
I get called back a couple of days later by my managers and they circled me in an office and accused me of stealing. After tears, video tapes, and telling them what happened they told me that apparently this coworker of mine had stolen not only from me, but several other people that day as well. They just wanted to confirm I wasn't in on the deal.
Forget Walmart, and forget that woman for almost getting me arrested. jellojock
I fired him that day.
Hired a cook on a good recommendation. He was just fine the first two weeks. Then I noticed food going missing. Then supplies started going missing. Then a customer told me that he had been adding auto 30% tips his food purchases. When I looked at the books, I saw that he had been adding 30% tips to ALL the credit card sales.
And the cash rings were off from what should have been sold. I fired him that day.
The next day he came in and apologized. Said he was on drugs and was going to rehab. I wished him well. Then next day he tried to break in after close and was caught. Idiot. Sirnando138
LAWYER PLEASE!!!
GiphyThe HR manager at my last job had zero training, education or experience in HR. She was argumentative, passive aggressive and incompetent. Toward the end she asked me "Why are you being resistant?" and "You're not being a team player." when I was advocating for client safety. I was the second person in less than a year to leave and hire an attorney. miken322