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Swarms of married people took to Reddit and responded to user SolidFlow's question:
Married people of Reddit, what are the little things that keep your marriage healthy?
They responded with the best advice they'd discovered in their relationships.
Gut Check, Bro
We both agreed that whenever we start to have an argument to do a "gut check", i.e. check if either one of us is hungry. If so, end the argument immediately, eat something, and wait half an hour to see if we want to resume arguing.
We now argue about twice a year. SsurebreC
Sometimes The Simplest is the Best
I'm one of those people that absolutely suck at knowing what to say when trying to comfort someone and I'll always wind up saying something that just makes it worse...I think the best relationship advice I have ever received is that you don't have to always verbally comfort them and you can still let them know you care by just being there - holding their hand or just sitting with them while they're sad.
This saves me many times. Richard_james2
The Big Becomes Small and The Small Become Large
I heard some other redditor say it not me but he said marriage is when the little things become big things and the big things become little things. example:
Me: "Babe I lost my job."
Her: "It's okay we will make it through this."
things are going well:
Her: "YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR DISHES AFTER EATING SPAGHETTI I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU AND YOUR MOTHER FOR NOT TEACHING YOU BASIC INDEPENDENCE!"
My wife and I have also found what you said to be true. Sometimes we say, "I think you are hungry/stressed/tired."
Usually, it ends with..."I am not hungry/stressed/tired." and I'll make her a meal and she says...yea I was hungry.
It really makes things easier for both sides to just call the other person out. Nimbleturtles
Dating Life Never Ends
Just because you're married doesn't mean you're not dating anymore. soulreaverdan
PopKey
The Husband Always Rings Twice
My parents used to do this thing where the person that comes late would ring the doorbell instead of opening the door with their key. The idea being the person that was home would stop what they were doing and come say welcome home kind of thing. When I was little I thought it was so dumb like use your f***ing key. But i get it now. Both my parents tend to get wrapped up in their business when they come home so the doorbell is a nice reminder that there's someone else that needs a little bit of attention when they come home. sc00bysnaks
Give Up The Big Half...
This is going to sound strange but: each of you give your partner the "big half." Salt-Pile
...Also Known As The 60/40 Rule
My mom calls this the 60/40 rule. Give 60, expect 40. If both partners stick to this, everyone wins. My parents have been married for 25 years and are the literal definition of relationship goals. asleepunderthebridge
Complacency Breeds Failure
It doesn't have to fade over time. My husband and I have been together for 15 years and we always thank the other for making dinner/doing chores etc. Mainly because we don't have expectations of who 'should' be doing it (completely get that you are taking on the burden while your wife is at school). I've seen people argue that if you thank your partner then it says that they have done your job which can set a bad precedent. Personally, we don't subscribe to that. S*** has to get done so if my husband has already done it, that means I don't have to, and vice versa. Combined with the 60/40 split others have mentioned (we'll each try to do specific chores the other doesn't like, even if we don't like them ourselves) makes for a contented relationship in our experience.
What I'm saying is, try not to get complacent once the newly-wed phase wears off. If you appreciate your partner, tell them. phrenologyheadbump
Start By Saying Sorry
Don't be afraid to admit fault and don't make excuses. If you hurt them, even if you didn't mean to, apologise.
Source
Stay On Target
...If you're arguing, stay on the point, don't raise your voice, don't be mean. Learn what one or two things are important to you and don't budge on those. Compromise on everything else. Tounyoubyo-Kareshi
Let It Go
Just letting things go. Seriously. Don't argue about every little thing that pisses you off. FlakeyGurl
Who's Keeping Score?
I learned that pretty early on in my marriage. I was very unhappy around the 2 year mark. Then I realized I was keeping score on every little thing. It wasn't worth it and it wasn't fair to her.
So I stopped keeping score and now we're pretty damn happy. ToxicOffshoot
It's Us vs. The World
We're also open with each other and tackle problems as a team. Neither of us ever set out to "win" an argument. It's always us Vs the issue. We never go to bed angry if we do argue and to be honest that's rare. delibertine
Be Sure To Schedule Your Cuddles
He has an alarm that goes off at 9:15 every night that he calls his "bumbledaisy" alarm. He stops whatever he is doing, sings a little song and then asks me if he can do anything for me. Most of the time I just want a hug and a kiss. bumbledaisy
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I Think You Can, I Think You Can...
This is a big one for me - whenever my wife talks about me in front of other people she always, always says the absolute best things about me, even though I give her plenty to complain about. She even does it when I'm not around since friends mention my wife said this or that. All of our friends think I'm a rockstar husband and father and I think this is largely due to me fitting the role she made for me. She wins me respect from others just by speaking good things about me. sonofespresso
Bro, Do You Even Lift?
We also powerlift together. He spots me, I spot him. We cheer each other on and help each other reach goals. The encouragement goes outside the gym and really makes us a solid team. He's truly my best buddy. sauerpatchkid
Ask "Who's #1?"
We are each other's #1 priority. All the time. No exceptions. Does that rule every interaction and impact anything on most days? Nope. But when we need it to, it is an automatic trump card.
"Hey, that guy at your work makes me uncomfortable. Can you not have lunch alone with him anymore?" Done.
"Hey, I know work is busy this week, but I am nervous for my doctor's appointment. Can you come?" Done.
"When we visit your family, I get a little overwhelmed. Can we have lunch, just the 2 of us, to get some breathing room?" Done.
"The baby is driving me crazy. Can you take her so I can take a bath/watch the game/get a nap/just breathe?" Done.
These situations are actually pretty rare, but to know someone will 100% support you means all the difference in the world. wittyish
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Crack A Smile
Being able to take the piss out of each other.Being able to argue and let it go.Arguing and then cracking a joke almost instantly afterwards and returning to normal. Rikolas
Ignore That Inner Voice
Don't engage in the "my spouse is terrible because" conversations. That can start an internal dialogue it's hard to back away from. PolybiusChampion
Sometimes, Sleep Is Best
We go to bed mad. Usually wake up not mad anymore. Staying up to fight when you're tired and not feeling the love isn't productive. If you're still mad in the morning, you can talk then. katgib13
Source
Put That Phone Down
We are religiously committed to having a date night every week. Nothing extravagant ever really. We have a rule that were not allowed to use our phones during the date unless its to show the other something funny or cool we saw on the internet earlier. cheyras
Find a Reason To WalkWe walk our dog together every day. It sounds dumb, but just talking for 20 minutes about nothing is nice. thirteenthfox2
No One Wins When You Both Lose
Above all else be focused on solving the issue and not on whos fault it is or "winning". If you go into every relationship interaction with the focus of "winning", the only one who will be winning is your divorce lawyer. theCroc
And, the final, most straightforward piece of advice you can get...
Touch The Butt
"Thank you", "I love you", and touching each other's butt. Works for us. Eliana45
Source
H/T: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.