When people ask me what my job is, I always tell them that I get paid to talk mad sh*t on the internet. Sure, there's a lot more to it but that's the gist, right?
When it comes down to it, a lot of us have careers or jobs that can be boiled down to something that sounds a little bit bonkers. Reddit user NazgulMarmot (which is a great mental picture, by the way) posed a challenge to Reddit:
People were totally down to play, and it turns out a lot of us have jobs that kind of make no sense when you reduce things to their simplest terms. See if you can figure out what these people do base on their descriptions - and enjoy some of the guesses Reddit users had.
I'm paid to be nice while people yell at me.
Hotel manager. It is a lot of fun though, people love my stories at parties. They gather round like I'm telling stories by a camp fire.
I crash planes as softly as possible.
A polite terrorist?
I'm an aircraft commander/pilot.
A Barista And The Magic BeansGiphy
I sell people magic beans to help them stay awake.
So your a drug-dealing barista?
I guess what numbers are going to be.
You sit at a bar in Oregon and play digital keno?
Data / Analytics - Forecasting?
Yes! Ding Ding Ding!
Put things into people, get things out of people. Then: laugh about some random shit. And maybe blood.
ER nurse lol.
You Just Said That
I listen to people and tell them about what they just told me.
Nah, Just a student.
I'm everyone's Grandma. Only angry, sleep deprived, over caffeinated and at times intoxicated. I'm a restaurant chef.
That does sound like my grandma...
I make copies.
Close enough, I'm a secretary.
You give me numbers I give you better numbers
Number repair technician?
Corrupt lotto official?
Data analyst, you tell me what machines you've got and how much you use them I'll tell you what parts you need on the shelf