When people ask me what my job is, I always tell them that I get paid to talk mad sh*t on the internet. Sure, there's a lot more to it but that's the gist, right?


When it comes down to it, a lot of us have careers or jobs that can be boiled down to something that sounds a little bit bonkers. Reddit user NazgulMarmot (which is a great mental picture, by the way) posed a challenge to Reddit:

Grossly oversimplify your job description. What is it?

People were totally down to play, and it turns out a lot of us have jobs that kind of make no sense when you reduce things to their simplest terms. See if you can figure out what these people do base on their descriptions - and enjoy some of the guesses Reddit users had.

Management

I'm paid to be nice while people yell at me.

Hotel manager. It is a lot of fun though, people love my stories at parties. They gather round like I'm telling stories by a camp fire.

- Drew-

Gently

I crash planes as softly as possible.

- onebatch_twobatch

A polite terrorist?

- CarnivalCave

I'm an aircraft commander/pilot.

- onebatch_twobatch

A Barista And The Magic Beans

Giphy

I sell people magic beans to help them stay awake.

- luckyninja110

Drug dealer?

- Robots914

Barista?

- onetwo4four5

So your a drug-dealing barista?

- Mattx8y

Just Guessing

I guess what numbers are going to be.

- queuedUp

You sit at a bar in Oregon and play digital keno?

- JesusUmlette

Data / Analytics - Forecasting?

- Not_Lane_Kiffin

Yes! Ding Ding Ding!

- queuedUp

Maybe Blood?

Put things into people, get things out of people. Then: laugh about some random shit. And maybe blood.

- MercutioElessar

Porn star?

- sendboobiepics

ER nurse lol.

- MercutioElessar

You Just Said That

I listen to people and tell them about what they just told me.

- AyoRobo

Therapist?

- Fungi0528

Consultant?

- UristImiknorris

Nah, Just a student.

- AyoRobo

Chef Grandma

I'm everyone's Grandma. Only angry, sleep deprived, over caffeinated and at times intoxicated. I'm a restaurant chef.

- _Monotropa_Uniflora

That does sound like my grandma...

- Glyphcreep

Bang Bang Bang

I hit plastic

- QenesQenes

Preschooler?

- runawayoldgirl

Programmer.

- Qenes

Close Enough

I make copies.

- Klaudiapotter

Cloning technician?

- Robots914

Photocopier operator?

- Wyrmczar

Close enough, I'm a secretary.

- Klaudiapotter

Better Numbers

Giphy

You give me numbers I give you better numbers

- JamesJosiah

Number repair technician?

- robots914

Corrupt lotto official?

- Soberasabird1

Data analyst, you tell me what machines you've got and how much you use them I'll tell you what parts you need on the shelf

- JamesJosiah

People Explain Which Popular Tourist Destinations Aren't Worth Visiting
Photo by David Rodrigo on Unsplash

Everyone has their travel bucket list.

The list of places they absolutely must visit before they die.

There are those, however, who also have a rather different list of destinations.

The places that have no intention to visit.

Be it for safety concerns, language barriers, or simply that there's nothing at these places that calls to them, there are places some wouldn’t dream of spending the time and money to visit.

Redditor TrooperJohn was curious to hear which places were at the very bottom of the list of travel destinations for his fellow Redditors, leading them to ask:

"What is a popular tourist destination you have no interest in visiting?"
Keep reading... Show less
Americans Confess Whether They'd Vote For An Atheist Presidential Candidate
Element5 Digital on Unsplash

When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.

Keep reading... Show less
People Describe The Scariest Thing That's Happened To Them While Home Alone
Photo by Nate Neelson on Unsplash

Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.

No one is there to help or protect you.

And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.

Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:

"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
Keep reading... Show less
People Break Down The Most Disturbing Facts About The Human Body
Photo by Joel Ambass on Unsplash

The human body is still such a mystery.

How much do we really know?

Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.

And most of it is gross.

Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:

"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
Keep reading... Show less