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Girl Confronts Her BF About Secretly Logging Into Her Snapchat--And She Came With Receipts

Curiosity killed the cat! And now you!

We have all been there. Had that thought in the back of our mind. You know the passcode, so it'd be easy right? Just to confirm your suspicions or set your mind at ease. But you resist because it would violate your loved one's trust and not to mention the terms of service agreement. But that's exactly what happened to Redditor u/bruisedidmein1234.

I (20F) think my boyfriend (20M) may have been signing in to my social media accounts for more than a year. 

I have been dating my boyfriend (20m) since September 2017, but we have been seeing each other since June 2016. We are long distance (~6hrs apart by car) and see each other about once a month if we're lucky. We have had a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately we care about each other and just want each other to be our happiest and healthiest.

I posted earlier this week about an incident that happened this past weekend where an old friend of mine tried to kiss me. He was drunk and initially tried to kiss me on the mouth. I pulled away, and he again tried to kiss my neck, leaving a bruise (I bruise incredibly easily as I have very fair skin and poor circulation; the entire incident lasted no more than a few seconds). I did not expect or want this to happen, and I thought the friend in question knew I had a boyfriend (I actually thought he also had a girlfriend up until he kissed me, so it definitely caught me off guard). Once I firmly expressed to him I wasn't interested and had a boyfriend, he backed off, and the rest of the night went normally. I don't have any plans to hang out with this friend again. The next day, my boyfriend was already at work when I woke up, where he has limited access to this phone. I planned to facetime him and tell him when happened when he got off work, however, he noticed the bruise on my neck in a snapchat before I could tell him myself (I hadn't even noticed it was there because as I said it was no more than a few seconds and it didn't occur to me that there could even be a bruise there from so short a time). He called me when he finished work, and I explained what had happened, but by that point he had been stewing over it for over 5 hours, and was furious with me. I understand that I shouldn't have put myself in a position where someone thought I would be receptive to a kiss, but I also can't control other people's actions or the past, and I have been trying to earn his trust back since. However, he remains absolutely livid.

In other news, for the past few years, my snapchat account has signed me out constantly on my phone (forcing me to log back in to the account sometimes as frequently as multiple times a day). I submitted several maintenance requests to the app, and Monday they notified me that they had sent a customer service email to my spam email account (which I seldom use, and hadn't looked at in years). When I signed in to the account to view the email, I noticed several other emails from the app over the past year. Most notably, there were a series of emails from August 3-6, 2017 informing me that someone had connected to my account on those specific dates from a specific location in a neighboring country. My boyfriend and a few of our mutual friends happened to be on vacation in that exact place on those exact dates. We were not dating at that time. I have confirmed the dates of that trip with someone else who was there. Nobody else on that trip goes to college with my boyfriend, or within 75 miles of there.

Getting fearful, I went on the snapchat website and downloaded my data (which basically gives you all the data the company has stored about your account over a certain period). This data included the location history of where my account has been accessed for the last ~2 months, with each data point consisting of a date, time, latitude, and longitude of where the account was used. It revealed that dozens of times over the last two months (sometimes as often as multiple times in the same day), my account was accessed from where my boyfriend lives. These data points are very specific (3 decimal points), and correspond to directly over his house, various buildings on his campus, and other places in his college town that he frequents. They all are on dates that I was definitively in my own college town, 400 miles away. You can actually watch me and whomever "fight" for control of the account, with me signing in one hour, then it signing in from his town the next hour, and us going back and forth for a while. The data only goes back two months, but the emails and pattern of snapchat logging me out (which is their attempt at security, when you log in to an account on one device it force logs it out on all others) indicate that it has been going on with this level of regularity for over a year.

I confronted my boyfriend about this as soon as I found out. He was initially indignant, then horrified once I presented him with all the evidence. He empathically maintains that it isn't him doing it. He can't provide any other explanations, and his best guess is that he is being framed, although he has no idea by whom. He has said a few times that if I need to find an explanation, he'll let his reputation take the hit, because he loves me that much and hates to see how this is hurting me. He has now also shifted the conversation back to the incident from this weekend, and is saying that what point would he have to lie, because he thinks I fucked someone else anyways (which he had not told me before that he thought)?

This is an especially sensitive subject for me because two years ago, I was most likely hurt by a very close friend, but I have only been able to put together what happened after the fact based on other knowledge. Not having a clear answer or knowing for sure about what happened then absolutely tore me apart, and still f***s with me immensely. My boyfriend knows all this, and helped me through all the fallout of that. I don't want to believe he would lie to me after seeing how much not knowing what happened there destroyed me. Snapchat is my main method of communication for a lot of my friends, and I save all my direct messages on the app so that I can reference them later.

For over a year, someone has been going through my photos, my messages, seeing who I talk to, and watching me without my knowing, and I can't find any other explanations for all the info besides that it was my boyfriend. To not know what happened here will absolutely destroy me, and he knows this. I so desperately want to believe it's anything else, and I want to trust him (like I want him to trust that I didn't sleep with my friend), but I just can't find any answers.

My question is, does anyone have any other possible explanations for what could've happened besides the obvious? What should I do now? And how can I convince my boyfriend I didn't sleep with my friend without compromising my feelings here?

tl;dr: I found an overwhelming amount of evidence showing that my boyfriend of one year has been accessing my snapchat account from his phone since August 2017 (possibly earlier), he denies it's him and is now saying he believes I slept with someone else. What do I do?

Cut And Run

I can't imagine any other explanation. I would cut my losses and not give a damn whether he believes you or not - he's just deflecting and/or gaslighting you. This person has violated your privacy and your boundaries, and profoundly disrespected you. He doesn't deserve to be in your life a moment longer. I would also talk to a counsellor to help me process all of this in the aftermath. I'm so sorry he's done this to you.


But She Had Her Doubts He Could Do That To Her

Thanks for the response. I wish I could feel that way, and be so sure about it. It's just so hard to believe that the person I've trusted the most for this long has been doing something so fundamentally invasive and violating, for almost two years. And yet, I still care a lot about what he thinks of me. I care about my reputation, and I don't want people thinking I'm a cheater when that's not at all what happened.


But Doubt Really Began To Set In

I actually realized that another email from snapchat shows that someone from an IP address registered to his college signed in to my account in February of 2017 (7 months before we started dating). I didn't initially clock it because the town is my hometown, and I figured I had been home at the time, until I realized I was actually in another country for a conference on the date the email was sent. It seems like there's too much evidence for it to all be coincidence, huh?


Then Things Took A Dark Turn

Y'all were right, he did it. It was even crazier than I thought, but it's over now.

I posted a few days ago about finding an overwhelming amount of evidence that my boyfriend of 1 year had been signing into my snapchat account off his phone for over a year, yet when I confronted him about it, he claimed he was being framed. He also accused me of sleeping with a friend who made a move on me that past weekend. I asked here for any other possible explanations for what might've happened besides the obvious, and for advice on how to prove to him that I didn't have sex with that kid. Everyone here told me I was out of my mind to think it was anything else, and that it didn't matter what he thought of me, that he was violating my privacy, and that there were no other possibilities. I realized y'all were right, and I came up with a plan.

I met my boyfriend in a diner, and got there early and told the waitress what was about to go down. I then set my laptop up with all the evidence I had amassed, and waited for him to show up. When he got there, he was combative, and initially tried to accuse me of sleeping with that kid again, but I effectively took over the conversation pretty quickly, and set in to my speech. I took him through every piece of evidence that incriminated him (of which there is a Lot), asked him if he still thought that he was being framed, and he denied it a few more times. At that point, I told him that in our state, what was happening constitutes fourth degree felony stalking. There was too much evidence for it to all be technical glitches at this point, so either he was stalking me, or someone else was stalking the both of us. I told him this was his last chance to come clean to me, or if he still said it wasn't him, we were going to go get in my car, drive to the police station, and turn the case over to a detective, at which point it will be investigated, and whoever did it will be charged. I told him that once I turn it over to the police, however, it's out of my hands how it gets handled, and there will be consequences for whoever did it. He said that he wasn't going to the police station, and said again that he didn't do it. So, I stood up, put on my coat, and said we were going to see a detective and file a report right there because those were his only options left. He pulled me back down to the table, and finally, confessed. It was him.

It started two years ago, 7 months before we even started dating (we were casually involved at that point, and friends, but not dating or exclusive). He said it started because he wanted to know whether I liked him, and it (and I) became an obsession for him. He has checked it multiple times a day, every day, for our entire relationship, including when I was with him. He read all my messages (which I save through the app, as I use it as my main form of communication for a lot of friends), gone through my photos, and kept tabs on who I was talking to.

The conversation was terrifying. It was like I didn't know him. He was cold, cruel, and didn't seem even the smallest bit remorseful. He tried to blame it on me quite a few times, then blamed it on his 'trust issues,' then blamed it on himself being 'f**ked in the head.' It was so unbelievably out of character for him that I would've thought this was his crappy audition tape for an episode of SVU and said was a bad performance if I hadn't lived it myself. He also tried to manipulate me into not going to the police or any of our mutual friends, citing that he 'had nothing' in his life (except me, but I guess that didn't matter so much). He said that I could just move on from this, whereas he would have to 'live with this' for the rest of his life, which should already be punishment enough.

He then tried to tell me that I owed him not to tell anyone else, because I ruined his life when I gave him an STD (which I got when I was attacked by a former friend, which was easily cured, and which we discussed at length where he reassured me that it wasn't my fault). Oh, and he knew that I didn't sleep with that guy, because he read my conversation with him wherein he said "hey, I'm sorry about last night, I didn't know you had a boyfriend and I never would've tried to make a move on you if I had known." He just said that to try to make me defensive and so flustered about something else that I dropped my investigation into the snapchat thing. He even quoted my own conversations back at me. I made him sign a paper where he wrote out what he did, just in case he wants to go back on his word later. Then, I left.

So, it's over now. I've blocked him on everything (I actually cried when I blocked his number, sad as that is). All that's left is to move on. I'm debating on whether to tell our mutual friends or not, because honestly, I'm resentful that he tried to manipulate me into not doing so, and I don't feel like I owe him anything at this point. Anyways, thanks for all your help.

I went to bed last night and work today expecting to see a few responses, I mostly just updated because I hate when people don't update. Thank you so much to everyone for all the support.

I've taken the advice of most people here and told a few trusted friends. Their response has been kinda disappointing, sort of a boys will be boys mentality of "well now you know you're better apart than together, just give it time." I'm hoping they'll come around, I understand that it's really hard to reconcile such a psycho thing with someone you care about, and like I said this was so out of character for my ex. For now I am not going to go to the police, because I don't think I could handle that right now. I go to school 400 miles away from my hometown, I wouldn't be able to come back and forth often to deal with an investigation, and I just don't think I could deal with the emotional strain of having aggressive strangers tear my life the rest of the way apart. But I have changed all my passwords, done force logout where applicable, and saved all the evidence against my ex on a few different locations. My ex got my password because he saw me sign into something once when we were hanging out and remembered the password I used. Once he had it, he had it forever.

To all the people who called me out or had questions about the std (shoutout to the guy who said I belonged in prison), I'll tell the story. Mods, sorry if this violates rules? Over two years ago, I had only been with my ex (he's actually the only person I've ever been with). We weren't dating at the time, just casually hooking up. One night over a break home from school, I went to my former best friends house to catch up. I had two drinks and passed out, which I had thought I was just tired but now I suspect I was drugged. I slept on his couch that night, just the two of us. I woke up the next morning kinda sore but didn't really think anything of it, went home, and didn't think of it again. Two months later, another friend came to me and told me that she had fallen asleep at that friends house just days before I did, that he had spiked her drink, and she had woken up in the middle of the night to him having sex with her. She froze, left when he went back to sleep, went to the hospital, got a kit done, and tried to move on with her life. She never went to the police because this friend's family is very involved with the police in our area, and police response to $exu@l @ss@ult is a joke anyways. She told me because I was going to visit him and she wanted me to be safe. I tried to support her as best I could, and cut that friend off, but it didn't occur to me that anything could've happened to me. Months later, I came up positive for chlamydia on a routine std check by my obgyn. That's when I put all the facts together, and realized what happened (although I never got closure or a sure answer). I always used protection with my ex, but that doesn't guarantee anything. I didn't knowingly give him an std, or even know that I had it. Chlamydia is curable with a single antibiotic, and there were no lasting physical effects on either of our lives.

Anyways, thanks so much to everyone who expressed support, this has been an overwhelming and difficult time, and the reassurance from folks here has really made the difference on how I've been able to wrap my head around this. 💕

Thoughts all around?

Sound the Alarm... 

That's insane :( please tell your friends. they deserve to know how creepy he is. i wish you all the best in your healing. please don't feel weird about crying, it's normal to hurt when you think you knew someone in spite of learning everything they did. take care. rosewhine

He also invaded their privacy when he read what they thought were conversations with only you, OP. Yourwtfismyftw

He cray girl! 

I would consider filing a police report so that everything is on record in case his behavior continues. The fact that he showed no remorse with his overall demeanor change, makes me concerned that he could be a very scary person in the future if cornered or truly grasps that you are gone. This was a multi-year act of deception, these are not the actions of an entirely sane or morally upright person.

At the very least, please make sure some close people are aware of the extent of his deceptions. Keep your proof backed up online, on a USB stick, on paper. Cover yourself in all areas.

I would also do a complete wipe of your laptop after saving necessary stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some keylogger program on your computer, which tracks every key you press.

At the very least, I would go through all of your electronics with someone who is savvy to tech spying. I would also set up 2-factor Authentication wherever it's available.

I would consider talking with a therapist if you are starting to question or doubt yourself on how this could have happened.

I wish you the best in this upcoming transition. Please protect yourself and be very safe. I think you handled this in the perfect way, and it sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders. Be prepared for full repentance and begging to be incoming. Stay strong. You've got this!!! ScionOfSekhmet

Go rent 'Fatal Attraction!' 

100%. He explicitly described his "obsession," and the odds that this obsession will suddenly stop with a clean break when you dump him are incredible small. His stalking could get worse. If you file a police report now, it will save you major headaches down the road if he keeps stalking you, but it won't hurt anything if he doesn't. thisiswhyifeedmyshoe

He had no remorse and acted in a hostile manor. Even if you don't want to press charges right now, having a police report on file or a back up for the evidence is a good plan. Just in case something comes from it.

It may be hard to break up but just try to keep thinking, he did this not you. He crossed lines. He f**ked up not you. He is the one in the wrong, not you. You are protecting yourself and making a good decision to end the relationship.

I'd confided telling your mutual friends some of it, if not all the details at least the broad strokes so they can help you if needed. They may notice things you don't, see an aspect of his behavior that you don't. It's always good to have some people on your side. Immifish

No kidding around.... 

Wow that is terrifying. I WOULD tell your friends, because I think there's a very good chance that he will stalk or hack them to keep tabs on you. I would also make a police report. herp_derp_hag

Seriously, this guy may be trying to spin it like he's some put-upon victim but it's OP who has to deal with the ghost of this creepy, unnerving violation for the rest of her life. eastward1526

Happening too often... 

This happened to me too. It ended in violence since he didn't know that I took martial arts in high school but I am still scared of what I might have had to do to stop him again. Especially if I had never came clean to everyone we knew about what had happened and why it ended in such a cluster f**k. Would anyone believe it was self defense if I didn't make noise? I started a paper trail and he magically disappeared from my life. Tofutits_Macgee

It's like a horror movie... 

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. He's crazy. He's gaslighting you for shit he knows is f**ked up and crossing to many lines. You did great though. Tell your friends and go to the police. He's got serious problems. He read all your conversations with your friends, I think it's a good thing to let them know about that. HapppyMealFace

Dry them tears! 

"As sad as that is."

Girl, nothing about you is sad in this story. You are a warrior bada**! It is okay to mourn the passing of a relationship, and mourn the fact that a person you cared about is not who you thought he was.

Focus on the fact that you stood your ground and backed yourself! Even when being gaslit (gaslighted?) Bravo!

I'm sorry that you went through that and hope that your future is filled with genuine people!

I agree with other posters. Tell your friends what happened. You owe this guy nothing. If nothing else, save the evidence and change your passwords. It may not be the last of this guy. Remember that you are strong, and you are right! cbackification

Listen Carefully....

Make a completely new email address on a computer/device that he would never have had access to; a school computer lab/library, device of friend/family he never came in any contact with (including online correspondence).

Once you have a new email with a new password that isn't something he will be able to easily figure out, change the email address for every single account you have AND change the passwords to those accounts as well... but only make the changes on a safe computer/device to avoid any possible software your ex make have installed (or had you or someone else unknowingly install).

As for a password, do not use dates, names, places that he would be familiar with. I usually do a short little sentence, with a random uppercase letter, at least two numbers and one symbols. For example, something like, "L1amasareF1uffy!" This way it makes it difficult to guess, because it is a weird random phrase that has nothing to do with anything related to your life (unless you have fluffy

And of course, you need to have your devices and computers reformatted (or whatever the proper technical term is). If you don't know how to do that, you can consult a friend/family member...but it might even better to just contact professional or manufacturer FAQ for each device.

I also suggest making brand new social media accounts that are set to the highest private security settings immediately. Just because you blocked the accounts you know, doesn't mean he can't make new ones. And I wouldn't use your real name or any screen names he would be familiar with; or use your real picture for any account that may show it publicly.

I know this can be a pain in the butt, but making sure he doesn't know where you are or what you are doing on a daily basis is for the best.

Also, since he likely knows your friends social accounts, and could possible have access to those as well, make sure anyone he met or corresponded with knows to change their password, just in case.

I may sound paranoid. And I likely am a little bit. I have some experience with this sort of thing, and it is amazing the depths people will go through to gain access to information about you. I had to make sure family and friends stopped tagging me and posting pictures of me, as well as make their privacy settings stronger. It became just easier to get off social media for awhile, and then return slowly under an anonymous account, adding only friends and family who were willing to follow the necessary rules for my safety... and it sucks to ask people to have to follow them. Not only does this effect your life, but others close to you.

Hopefully your ex will leave you alone, especially if you do decide to go to the police. While I agree you should for your own safety, I completely understand not wanting to.

Also, none of this was fault, in anyway. Even if he hadn't violated your trust and safety by stalking your social media, from just the few sentences you said explaining things, he was WAY out of line and red flags were waving brightly all over.

u/bruisedidmein1234, I honestly hope you are able to see a therapist to process this situation, and the other situation you alluded to. There isn't anything wrong with YOU. Processing what happened will help your brain get through everything, make sense of it, and help you move past it in healthy way. iputmytrustinyou


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.