We have all been there. Had that thought in the back of our mind. You know the passcode, so it'd be easy right? Just to confirm your suspicions or set your mind at ease. But you resist because it would violate your loved one's trust and not to mention the terms of service agreement. But that's exactly what happened to Redditor u/bruisedidmein1234.
I (20F) think my boyfriend (20M) may have been signing in to my social media accounts for more than a year.
I have been dating my boyfriend (20m) since September 2017, but we have been seeing each other since June 2016. We are long distance (~6hrs apart by car) and see each other about once a month if we're lucky. We have had a lot of ups and downs, but ultimately we care about each other and just want each other to be our happiest and healthiest.
I posted earlier this week about an incident that happened this past weekend where an old friend of mine tried to kiss me. He was drunk and initially tried to kiss me on the mouth. I pulled away, and he again tried to kiss my neck, leaving a bruise (I bruise incredibly easily as I have very fair skin and poor circulation; the entire incident lasted no more than a few seconds). I did not expect or want this to happen, and I thought the friend in question knew I had a boyfriend (I actually thought he also had a girlfriend up until he kissed me, so it definitely caught me off guard). Once I firmly expressed to him I wasn't interested and had a boyfriend, he backed off, and the rest of the night went normally. I don't have any plans to hang out with this friend again. The next day, my boyfriend was already at work when I woke up, where he has limited access to this phone. I planned to facetime him and tell him when happened when he got off work, however, he noticed the bruise on my neck in a snapchat before I could tell him myself (I hadn't even noticed it was there because as I said it was no more than a few seconds and it didn't occur to me that there could even be a bruise there from so short a time). He called me when he finished work, and I explained what had happened, but by that point he had been stewing over it for over 5 hours, and was furious with me. I understand that I shouldn't have put myself in a position where someone thought I would be receptive to a kiss, but I also can't control other people's actions or the past, and I have been trying to earn his trust back since. However, he remains absolutely livid.
In other news, for the past few years, my snapchat account has signed me out constantly on my phone (forcing me to log back in to the account sometimes as frequently as multiple times a day). I submitted several maintenance requests to the app, and Monday they notified me that they had sent a customer service email to my spam email account (which I seldom use, and hadn't looked at in years). When I signed in to the account to view the email, I noticed several other emails from the app over the past year. Most notably, there were a series of emails from August 3-6, 2017 informing me that someone had connected to my account on those specific dates from a specific location in a neighboring country. My boyfriend and a few of our mutual friends happened to be on vacation in that exact place on those exact dates. We were not dating at that time. I have confirmed the dates of that trip with someone else who was there. Nobody else on that trip goes to college with my boyfriend, or within 75 miles of there.
Getting fearful, I went on the snapchat website and downloaded my data (which basically gives you all the data the company has stored about your account over a certain period). This data included the location history of where my account has been accessed for the last ~2 months, with each data point consisting of a date, time, latitude, and longitude of where the account was used. It revealed that dozens of times over the last two months (sometimes as often as multiple times in the same day), my account was accessed from where my boyfriend lives. These data points are very specific (3 decimal points), and correspond to directly over his house, various buildings on his campus, and other places in his college town that he frequents. They all are on dates that I was definitively in my own college town, 400 miles away. You can actually watch me and whomever "fight" for control of the account, with me signing in one hour, then it signing in from his town the next hour, and us going back and forth for a while. The data only goes back two months, but the emails and pattern of snapchat logging me out (which is their attempt at security, when you log in to an account on one device it force logs it out on all others) indicate that it has been going on with this level of regularity for over a year.
I confronted my boyfriend about this as soon as I found out. He was initially indignant, then horrified once I presented him with all the evidence. He empathically maintains that it isn't him doing it. He can't provide any other explanations, and his best guess is that he is being framed, although he has no idea by whom. He has said a few times that if I need to find an explanation, he'll let his reputation take the hit, because he loves me that much and hates to see how this is hurting me. He has now also shifted the conversation back to the incident from this weekend, and is saying that what point would he have to lie, because he thinks I fucked someone else anyways (which he had not told me before that he thought)?
This is an especially sensitive subject for me because two years ago, I was most likely hurt by a very close friend, but I have only been able to put together what happened after the fact based on other knowledge. Not having a clear answer or knowing for sure about what happened then absolutely tore me apart, and still f***s with me immensely. My boyfriend knows all this, and helped me through all the fallout of that. I don't want to believe he would lie to me after seeing how much not knowing what happened there destroyed me. Snapchat is my main method of communication for a lot of my friends, and I save all my direct messages on the app so that I can reference them later.
For over a year, someone has been going through my photos, my messages, seeing who I talk to, and watching me without my knowing, and I can't find any other explanations for all the info besides that it was my boyfriend. To not know what happened here will absolutely destroy me, and he knows this. I so desperately want to believe it's anything else, and I want to trust him (like I want him to trust that I didn't sleep with my friend), but I just can't find any answers.
My question is, does anyone have any other possible explanations for what could've happened besides the obvious? What should I do now? And how can I convince my boyfriend I didn't sleep with my friend without compromising my feelings here?
tl;dr: I found an overwhelming amount of evidence showing that my boyfriend of one year has been accessing my snapchat account from his phone since August 2017 (possibly earlier), he denies it's him and is now saying he believes I slept with someone else. What do I do?
Cut And Run
I can't imagine any other explanation. I would cut my losses and not give a damn whether he believes you or not - he's just deflecting and/or gaslighting you. This person has violated your privacy and your boundaries, and profoundly disrespected you. He doesn't deserve to be in your life a moment longer. I would also talk to a counsellor to help me process all of this in the aftermath. I'm so sorry he's done this to you.
But She Had Her Doubts He Could Do That To Her
Thanks for the response. I wish I could feel that way, and be so sure about it. It's just so hard to believe that the person I've trusted the most for this long has been doing something so fundamentally invasive and violating, for almost two years. And yet, I still care a lot about what he thinks of me. I care about my reputation, and I don't want people thinking I'm a cheater when that's not at all what happened.
But Doubt Really Began To Set In
I actually realized that another email from snapchat shows that someone from an IP address registered to his college signed in to my account in February of 2017 (7 months before we started dating). I didn't initially clock it because the town is my hometown, and I figured I had been home at the time, until I realized I was actually in another country for a conference on the date the email was sent. It seems like there's too much evidence for it to all be coincidence, huh?
Then Things Took A Dark Turn
Y'all were right, he did it. It was even crazier than I thought, but it's over now.
I posted a few days ago about finding an overwhelming amount of evidence that my boyfriend of 1 year had been signing into my snapchat account off his phone for over a year, yet when I confronted him about it, he claimed he was being framed. He also accused me of sleeping with a friend who made a move on me that past weekend. I asked here for any other possible explanations for what might've happened besides the obvious, and for advice on how to prove to him that I didn't have sex with that kid. Everyone here told me I was out of my mind to think it was anything else, and that it didn't matter what he thought of me, that he was violating my privacy, and that there were no other possibilities. I realized y'all were right, and I came up with a plan.
I met my boyfriend in a diner, and got there early and told the waitress what was about to go down. I then set my laptop up with all the evidence I had amassed, and waited for him to show up. When he got there, he was combative, and initially tried to accuse me of sleeping with that kid again, but I effectively took over the conversation pretty quickly, and set in to my speech. I took him through every piece of evidence that incriminated him (of which there is a Lot), asked him if he still thought that he was being framed, and he denied it a few more times. At that point, I told him that in our state, what was happening constitutes fourth degree felony stalking. There was too much evidence for it to all be technical glitches at this point, so either he was stalking me, or someone else was stalking the both of us. I told him this was his last chance to come clean to me, or if he still said it wasn't him, we were going to go get in my car, drive to the police station, and turn the case over to a detective, at which point it will be investigated, and whoever did it will be charged. I told him that once I turn it over to the police, however, it's out of my hands how it gets handled, and there will be consequences for whoever did it. He said that he wasn't going to the police station, and said again that he didn't do it. So, I stood up, put on my coat, and said we were going to see a detective and file a report right there because those were his only options left. He pulled me back down to the table, and finally, confessed. It was him.
It started two years ago, 7 months before we even started dating (we were casually involved at that point, and friends, but not dating or exclusive). He said it started because he wanted to know whether I liked him, and it (and I) became an obsession for him. He has checked it multiple times a day, every day, for our entire relationship, including when I was with him. He read all my messages (which I save through the app, as I use it as my main form of communication for a lot of friends), gone through my photos, and kept tabs on who I was talking to.
The conversation was terrifying. It was like I didn't know him. He was cold, cruel, and didn't seem even the smallest bit remorseful. He tried to blame it on me quite a few times, then blamed it on his 'trust issues,' then blamed it on himself being 'f**ked in the head.' It was so unbelievably out of character for him that I would've thought this was his crappy audition tape for an episode of SVU and said was a bad performance if I hadn't lived it myself. He also tried to manipulate me into not going to the police or any of our mutual friends, citing that he 'had nothing' in his life (except me, but I guess that didn't matter so much). He said that I could just move on from this, whereas he would have to 'live with this' for the rest of his life, which should already be punishment enough.
He then tried to tell me that I owed him not to tell anyone else, because I ruined his life when I gave him an STD (which I got when I was attacked by a former friend, which was easily cured, and which we discussed at length where he reassured me that it wasn't my fault). Oh, and he knew that I didn't sleep with that guy, because he read my conversation with him wherein he said "hey, I'm sorry about last night, I didn't know you had a boyfriend and I never would've tried to make a move on you if I had known." He just said that to try to make me defensive and so flustered about something else that I dropped my investigation into the snapchat thing. He even quoted my own conversations back at me. I made him sign a paper where he wrote out what he did, just in case he wants to go back on his word later. Then, I left.
So, it's over now. I've blocked him on everything (I actually cried when I blocked his number, sad as that is). All that's left is to move on. I'm debating on whether to tell our mutual friends or not, because honestly, I'm resentful that he tried to manipulate me into not doing so, and I don't feel like I owe him anything at this point. Anyways, thanks for all your help.
I went to bed last night and work today expecting to see a few responses, I mostly just updated because I hate when people don't update. Thank you so much to everyone for all the support.
I've taken the advice of most people here and told a few trusted friends. Their response has been kinda disappointing, sort of a boys will be boys mentality of "well now you know you're better apart than together, just give it time." I'm hoping they'll come around, I understand that it's really hard to reconcile such a psycho thing with someone you care about, and like I said this was so out of character for my ex. For now I am not going to go to the police, because I don't think I could handle that right now. I go to school 400 miles away from my hometown, I wouldn't be able to come back and forth often to deal with an investigation, and I just don't think I could deal with the emotional strain of having aggressive strangers tear my life the rest of the way apart. But I have changed all my passwords, done force logout where applicable, and saved all the evidence against my ex on a few different locations. My ex got my password because he saw me sign into something once when we were hanging out and remembered the password I used. Once he had it, he had it forever.
To all the people who called me out or had questions about the std (shoutout to the guy who said I belonged in prison), I'll tell the story. Mods, sorry if this violates rules? Over two years ago, I had only been with my ex (he's actually the only person I've ever been with). We weren't dating at the time, just casually hooking up. One night over a break home from school, I went to my former best friends house to catch up. I had two drinks and passed out, which I had thought I was just tired but now I suspect I was drugged. I slept on his couch that night, just the two of us. I woke up the next morning kinda sore but didn't really think anything of it, went home, and didn't think of it again. Two months later, another friend came to me and told me that she had fallen asleep at that friends house just days before I did, that he had spiked her drink, and she had woken up in the middle of the night to him having sex with her. She froze, left when he went back to sleep, went to the hospital, got a kit done, and tried to move on with her life. She never went to the police because this friend's family is very involved with the police in our area, and police response to $exu@l @ss@ult is a joke anyways. She told me because I was going to visit him and she wanted me to be safe. I tried to support her as best I could, and cut that friend off, but it didn't occur to me that anything could've happened to me. Months later, I came up positive for chlamydia on a routine std check by my obgyn. That's when I put all the facts together, and realized what happened (although I never got closure or a sure answer). I always used protection with my ex, but that doesn't guarantee anything. I didn't knowingly give him an std, or even know that I had it. Chlamydia is curable with a single antibiotic, and there were no lasting physical effects on either of our lives.
Anyways, thanks so much to everyone who expressed support, this has been an overwhelming and difficult time, and the reassurance from folks here has really made the difference on how I've been able to wrap my head around this. 💕
Thoughts all around?
Sound the Alarm...
That's insane :( please tell your friends. they deserve to know how creepy he is. i wish you all the best in your healing. please don't feel weird about crying, it's normal to hurt when you think you knew someone in spite of learning everything they did. take care. rosewhine
He also invaded their privacy when he read what they thought were conversations with only you, OP. Yourwtfismyftw
He cray girl!
I would consider filing a police report so that everything is on record in case his behavior continues. The fact that he showed no remorse with his overall demeanor change, makes me concerned that he could be a very scary person in the future if cornered or truly grasps that you are gone. This was a multi-year act of deception, these are not the actions of an entirely sane or morally upright person.
At the very least, please make sure some close people are aware of the extent of his deceptions. Keep your proof backed up online, on a USB stick, on paper. Cover yourself in all areas.
I would also do a complete wipe of your laptop after saving necessary stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some keylogger program on your computer, which tracks every key you press.
At the very least, I would go through all of your electronics with someone who is savvy to tech spying. I would also set up 2-factor Authentication wherever it's available.
I would consider talking with a therapist if you are starting to question or doubt yourself on how this could have happened.
I wish you the best in this upcoming transition. Please protect yourself and be very safe. I think you handled this in the perfect way, and it sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders. Be prepared for full repentance and begging to be incoming. Stay strong. You've got this!!! ScionOfSekhmet
Go rent 'Fatal Attraction!'
100%. He explicitly described his "obsession," and the odds that this obsession will suddenly stop with a clean break when you dump him are incredible small. His stalking could get worse. If you file a police report now, it will save you major headaches down the road if he keeps stalking you, but it won't hurt anything if he doesn't. thisiswhyifeedmyshoe
He had no remorse and acted in a hostile manor. Even if you don't want to press charges right now, having a police report on file or a back up for the evidence is a good plan. Just in case something comes from it.
It may be hard to break up but just try to keep thinking, he did this not you. He crossed lines. He f**ked up not you. He is the one in the wrong, not you. You are protecting yourself and making a good decision to end the relationship.
I'd confided telling your mutual friends some of it, if not all the details at least the broad strokes so they can help you if needed. They may notice things you don't, see an aspect of his behavior that you don't. It's always good to have some people on your side. Immifish
No kidding around....
Wow that is terrifying. I WOULD tell your friends, because I think there's a very good chance that he will stalk or hack them to keep tabs on you. I would also make a police report. herp_derp_hag
Seriously, this guy may be trying to spin it like he's some put-upon victim but it's OP who has to deal with the ghost of this creepy, unnerving violation for the rest of her life. eastward1526
Happening too often...
This happened to me too. It ended in violence since he didn't know that I took martial arts in high school but I am still scared of what I might have had to do to stop him again. Especially if I had never came clean to everyone we knew about what had happened and why it ended in such a cluster f**k. Would anyone believe it was self defense if I didn't make noise? I started a paper trail and he magically disappeared from my life. Tofutits_Macgee
It's like a horror movie...
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. He's crazy. He's gaslighting you for shit he knows is f**ked up and crossing to many lines. You did great though. Tell your friends and go to the police. He's got serious problems. He read all your conversations with your friends, I think it's a good thing to let them know about that. HapppyMealFace
Dry them tears!
"As sad as that is."
Girl, nothing about you is sad in this story. You are a warrior bada**! It is okay to mourn the passing of a relationship, and mourn the fact that a person you cared about is not who you thought he was.
Focus on the fact that you stood your ground and backed yourself! Even when being gaslit (gaslighted?) Bravo!
I'm sorry that you went through that and hope that your future is filled with genuine people!
I agree with other posters. Tell your friends what happened. You owe this guy nothing. If nothing else, save the evidence and change your passwords. It may not be the last of this guy. Remember that you are strong, and you are right! cbackification
Make a completely new email address on a computer/device that he would never have had access to; a school computer lab/library, device of friend/family he never came in any contact with (including online correspondence).
Once you have a new email with a new password that isn't something he will be able to easily figure out, change the email address for every single account you have AND change the passwords to those accounts as well... but only make the changes on a safe computer/device to avoid any possible software your ex make have installed (or had you or someone else unknowingly install).
As for a password, do not use dates, names, places that he would be familiar with. I usually do a short little sentence, with a random uppercase letter, at least two numbers and one symbols. For example, something like, "L1amasareF1uffy!" This way it makes it difficult to guess, because it is a weird random phrase that has nothing to do with anything related to your life (unless you have fluffy llamas...lol).
And of course, you need to have your devices and computers reformatted (or whatever the proper technical term is). If you don't know how to do that, you can consult a friend/family member...but it might even better to just contact professional or manufacturer FAQ for each device.
I also suggest making brand new social media accounts that are set to the highest private security settings immediately. Just because you blocked the accounts you know, doesn't mean he can't make new ones. And I wouldn't use your real name or any screen names he would be familiar with; or use your real picture for any account that may show it publicly.
I know this can be a pain in the butt, but making sure he doesn't know where you are or what you are doing on a daily basis is for the best.
Also, since he likely knows your friends social accounts, and could possible have access to those as well, make sure anyone he met or corresponded with knows to change their password, just in case.
I may sound paranoid. And I likely am a little bit. I have some experience with this sort of thing, and it is amazing the depths people will go through to gain access to information about you. I had to make sure family and friends stopped tagging me and posting pictures of me, as well as make their privacy settings stronger. It became just easier to get off social media for awhile, and then return slowly under an anonymous account, adding only friends and family who were willing to follow the necessary rules for my safety... and it sucks to ask people to have to follow them. Not only does this effect your life, but others close to you.
Hopefully your ex will leave you alone, especially if you do decide to go to the police. While I agree you should for your own safety, I completely understand not wanting to.
Also, none of this was fault, in anyway. Even if he hadn't violated your trust and safety by stalking your social media, from just the few sentences you said explaining things, he was WAY out of line and red flags were waving brightly all over.
u/bruisedidmein1234, I honestly hope you are able to see a therapist to process this situation, and the other situation you alluded to. There isn't anything wrong with YOU. Processing what happened will help your brain get through everything, make sense of it, and help you move past it in healthy way. iputmytrustinyou
There are few things more satisfying than a crisp $20 bill. Well, maybe a crisp $100 bill.
But twenty big ones can get you pretty far nonetheless.
Whether it's tucked firmly in a birthday card, passing from hand to hand after a knee-jerk sports bet, or going toward a useful tool, the old twenty dollar bill has been used for countless purposes.
Breaking Even<p>"I got a jacket and a pair of jeans at goodwill for about $20. My first time wearing the jacket I found a tiny zipper inside a pocket."</p><p>"There was a secret inner pocket with a twenty in it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdv70q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheBrontosaurus</a></p>
Keeps On Giving<p>"23 Years ago I was in the US for some work and was not prepared for the cold of Chicago. Went to wal-mart and bought myself a cheap, warm jacket."</p><p>"I'm wearing that jacket right now - still looks fine, still keeps me warm."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe41xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TastyEnd</a></p>
As Good As They Come<p>"Wool pinstripe double breasted suit from Goodwill, fit perfectly and was brand new. Ended up wearing it to get married the next year." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdw6mx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">verminiusrex</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"God I love Goodwill!!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe5aee?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Neverthelilacqueen</a></p>
The Socks She Needed<p>"I work at a thrift shop. A homeless lady came in and asked us where the socks were. We only sell new socks, so I directed her towards the new socks and she was... shocked and disappointed by the price tag, surely."<br></p><p>"I gave her a moment as she looked, and she moved to some kids' socks and picked them up, and I... just couldn't let that happen. I told her that I would help her, and told her to get herself some socks and a jacket."</p><p>"She kind of just... held out the children's socks, so I took them, put them back, and grabbed the extra fluffy socks that were hanging."</p><p>"She grabs a jacket and some pants, and I pay for it. My coworker looks the other way since we're not supposed to purchase anything while on the clock. The lady is in tears as she walks out."</p><p>"I notice that she's still outside a minute later putting them on, and ask her if they fit her or if she needed something else; and she told me they were perfect and proceeded to cry. I cried in return."</p><p>"It was a good day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpen3w1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Snowodin</a></p>
Not Forgotten<p>"A guy came into my work when I managed a mom and pop Pizza Place. He said he was stranded with no phone, and no money, but that the people at the Verizon store next door to us said they could get him a cheap phone with some minutes on it for 20 bucks."</p><p>"He offered to do dishes for a few hours to make some money so he could get this phone. I told him not to worry about it and gave him a 20 from my wallet. He thanked me, asked me for my name, and then he left and I never saw him again."</p><p>"Skip forward about 5 months, and when I get into work the owner was there and said she had gotten a letter addressed to me. 'Weird,' I thought."</p><p>"But when I opened it there was a 50 dollar bill and a short note from the guy I gave 20 dollars to thanking me for my kindness and for not turning him away."</p><p>"Turns out he was in a bad way (addicted to hard drugs and homeless) and really was stranded there. He was trying to get a phone so he could contact his parents (who lived in another state) for help."</p><p>"From what it sounded like, he seemed to really turn his life around. He was clean and working a stable job while still living with his parents."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpem2xc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mixmaster-McGuire</a></p>
The Best Finale<p>"It was the day before payday. My wife came to see me at work. My break was in an hour, so I asked for her to wait a bit, so we could enjoy it together. She did."</p><p>"I bought her some lunch, because it was what I could afford. I bought her a ham and cheese sub sandwich and two iced teas. These were her favorite. I bought gas with the rest of the twenty so she could get home. She dropped me back off at work."</p><p>"That night, she passed away. It brings me comfort to know that I bought her favorite sandwich and drink for her that afternoon. It was likely the last thing she ate, since it was near dinner. I'll never forget it. Best $20 I ever spent, because it was for her."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe9c6d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LollipopDreamscape</a></p>
Leaning Into the Nerdery<p>"It was my ninth or tenth birthday. My grandparents gave me $20. The first $20 bill I ever held in my hand! I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it."</p><p>"A week later, we went into the city and Toys R Us. I went straight to the Transformers aisle. And there he was. My favourite Transformer. The one I always wanted...Soundwave."</p><p>"He's the one who turned into a Walkman and he could eject cassettes that turned into robot animals. The price tag said $19.99. It was meant to be."</p><p>"I took Soundwave to the clerk and gave her my $20 bill. "And here's your change!" she said, as she gave me a single penny."</p><p>"Ah, Soundwave. The best friend a lonely little nerd could have."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdzzxe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">originalchaosinabox</a></p>
Different Time<p>"I went to a Rush concert in 1982. The ticket was $9.50 and the t-shirt was $10." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdyr0k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PaulsRedditUsername</a></p>
Motivational Spending<p>"My then six year old niece had a loose tooth she loved to show off and had resisted pulling out for two weeks. We were all at my parents and I was getting ready to leave, I pulled out a $20 and said 'I'll give you this right now if you pull out your tooth.' "</p><p>"She was already crying because her little sister had did something so when she ran into the bathroom none of us had no idea in what she was about to do."</p><p>"So she comes out crying still, but a little bit of blood I'm her mouth because of course, she pulled out her tooth. But the now removed tooth fell down the drain to the sink and she was crying because she lost her proof!"</p><p>"After she calmed down she was happy as a clam with a brand new $20 and everyone was quite proud of her. My sister told me she spent it on candy and shared with her little sister."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdxi4k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">themasimumdorkus</a></p>
For the Story<p>"It was actually to a scammer in Rome. There was this guy right outside of Colosseum who started tying strings around my wrist and told me to make a wish. I knew it was going to cost but I thought what the hell, last day in Rome so might as well go with it. </p><p>"My wish was to find love."</p><p>"I spent rest of the day getting lost in the city and stumbled across two weddings and one baptism ceremony. So I did find love, just not for myself."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe7b2w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FatalFinn</a></p>
I realize that school safety has been severely compromised and has been under dire scrutiny over the past decade and of course, it should be. And when I was a student, my safety was one of my greatest priorities but, some implemented rules under the guise of "safety" were and are... just plain ludicrous. Like who thinks up some of these ideas?Redditor u/Animeking1108 wanted to discuss how the education system has ideas that sometimes are just more a pain in the butt than a daily enhancement... What was the dumbest rule your school enforced?
Don't Peek<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc4OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDE0Mzc2OH0.Y1Lzy1MTqxyVqOCe9xjeHTRZsKnbyVjYzdb4-Heldyo/img.gif?width=980" id="78b19" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e14a90be026b734830e7661f776ba4a8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="475" data-height="475" />schitts creek wtf GIF by CBCGiphy<p>Took all the doors off the men's room bathroom stalls because of vandalism for 2 months.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphrfce?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Endless_Vanity</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Endless_Vanity/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Scanned<p>School added thumb print scanners at gates of school which counted as registration - needless to say I would just walk to school scan my thumb and walk back home with them none the wiser. Was a great few months until they noticed. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpidnou?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">richpianofan5</a></p>
Age of Empires...<p>Conservative Christian College. A group of us played Age of Empires one weekend. They didn't like it and called a meeting. Everyone involved got misdemeanors on their records. There was nothing in the handbook about it being against the rules. The only person that didn't get any punishment was the son of the president even though he was just as involved as the rest of us. <span></span></p>
"Genius"<p>In my freshman year of high school we had a terrible vandalism problem, the bathrooms would be broken in various ways almost constantly. In a stroke of pure genius, the staff decided that any bathroom that was vandalized would be closed for the week on first offense, the quarter for second, and permanently on the third offense.</p><p>They took back the rule after closing every bathroom on day one. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi77co?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Samus388</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Samus388/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Is this Footloose?<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzg0MjU2M30.PeBUt-YWZeeRStaD_RZlGPQzo29E9t733yqZbIiJlYs/img.gif?width=980" id="3a5bd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="102730e3b1b90ba9cb393561c702c9af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />kevin bacon dancing GIF by STARZGiphy<p>Prom was a mandatory lockdown for the night in order to avoid students going to parties after prom.</p><p>Prom was held at various house parties across town instead. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi37x7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Coffee-spree</a></p>
HOLDEN FOREVER!!!<p>My high school mascot was Daniel Boone holding a musket. A kid wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt to school and was told he had to change shirts because of the pistols on the shirt. He pointed out the hypocrisy of the school mascot and they changed EVERYTHING. The mascot was switched to holding a flag pole instead. <span></span></p>
No Dots<p>You couldn't wear ANY kind of head items that were "gang colours" (red or blue) - this No included hair bands, scrunchies, beads in your hair, ribbons - ANYTHING. I got in trouble for wearing a blue hair band with white polka dots. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphzpyf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Pleasant-Flamingo344</a></p>
Clothes Check<p>We had to wear belts. Someone snitched that people weren't wearing belts under their sweaters, and they actually checked and a bunch of people got detentions. Stupid. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ooo-ooo-oooyea</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>We had belt raids at my school where the dean would burst into classes, completely interrupting any education, to check that everyone was wearing a belt. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpia8pp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GuinnessMicrodose</a></p>
Chase the Flat<p>We weren't allowed to play tag football at lunch, only frisbee. When I asked the principal what the difference was, he responded with a sarcastic tone, "A football is round and a frisbee is a flat disk."</p><p>He left the school later that year, went to another school, and a few years later was brought up on charges for failing to report the abuse of a student by a teacher. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi6lh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">uninc4life2010</a></p>
Poke-Thief<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDgwMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODg5MzY2Nn0.5LMPk1suou6U2SvAURKP-sHEuK7Izpkbxm0PWqvx95E/img.gif?width=980" id="b6e9f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="92383d30e34aa92fd74cf6c1374ec294" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />hotline bling pokemon GIFGiphy<p>Pokemon cards got banned in middle school because someone stole the vice principal's kid's cards. Yep. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpiapym?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Skadoosh_it</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Skadoosh_it/" target="_blank"></a></p>
In the Face...<p>If you were involved in a fight, you got suspended. While it sounds reasonable, context didn't matter.</p><p>I got suspended once not for throwing a single punch, kick, whatever. I got suspended because someone knocked the books out of my hand and when I reached down to grab them they punched me in the face.</p><p>I got suspended for walking down the hallway and unprovoked getting punched in the face.</p><p>Forget Brandon Valley Middle School. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpicbyx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CLG_MianBao</a></p>
One of the golden rules of life? Doctors are merely human. They don't know everything and they make mistakes. That is why you always want to get another opinion. Things are constantly missed. That doesn't mean docs don't know what they're doing, they just aren't infallible. So make sure to ask questions, lots of them.Redditor u/Gorgon_the_Dragon wanted to hear from doctors about why it is imperative we always get second and maybe third opinions by asking... Doctors of Reddit, what was the worse thing you've seen for a patient that another Doctor overlooked?
Grandma Wins<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcxOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0OTQxNTgzOX0.n9IaFGgHwnULMlI2kg7RUftxDg6lyWvdM9CnhvptCRY/img.gif?width=980" id="a0857" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9762f97a23c27ccf6b75974caa854361" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Old Lady Wine GIF by MattielGiphy<p>Not a doctor, but my grandmother saved my father's eyesight because she didn't listen to their doctor. </p>
The Mummy Appendage<p>When I was a resident, an 80yo female was admitted from the nursing home for confusion. Workup showed some mild UTI and we were giving her antibiotics. The nurse mentioned that her toe looked dark and asked me to look at it. The toe wasn't just dark, it was mummified. It looked like dry beef jerky. I touched it and pieces flaked off. So the patient from a nursing home, had a mummified toe, probably for months, that no one knew about. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg00qn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dr2ray</a></p>
The CT Save<p>Here's my story:</p><p>A guy came in to our ICU and was very septic but still talking. He had visited his primary care MD with complaints of a sore throat for a couple of days. Dismissed without any intervention since he didn't appear to have strep throat or the flu. At this point he was having pretty severe abdominal discomfort, so we sent him for a CT scan. As the scan was finishing, he coded and had to be intubated, multi-organ failure, etc. </p>
Patches<p>When I was an ER nurse we got an elderly lady in for altered mental status from a nursing home, when we undressed her to put her in a gown and hook her up to the monitor, I noticed no less than 5 fentanyl patches on her, guess I discovered the cause of the AMS. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg1lml?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChewbaccaSlim426</a></p>
Use your Words<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcyMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDA1NjI0MH0.WtyCdxL1vRZwD2-jpKZXMOEakwhiBaJIkp1YPnOzlvo/img.gif?width=980" id="e45ca" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f5b98e6a4605a587dbd97579468a51d8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="367" />Communication GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>Neurologist sent patient to our ED without informing her that imaging showed a glioblastoma assuring her impending death. He didn't overlook the disease, he overlooked the communication. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpfl5t5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AzureSkye27</a></p>
Mad Cow Realty<p>During my residency we had this lady in her 60s who was getting progressively more forgetful, just overall declining and getting less and less able to take care of herself. She had been seeing her pcp who diagnosed her with dementia. And she saw a neurologist who agreed. She was not really able to provide an accurate history. <span></span></p>
After Birth...<p>I used to work in maternal-fetal medicine, and every single week, we would have women referred to us "because the doctor couldn't see something clearly with the baby and wanted to double check." Nope, they just didn't want to have to be the ones to tell you that your baby had a complex cardiac defect or multiple anomalies indicative of a genetic syndrome or any other of a large number of horrible things that can happen during fetal development. Still pisses me off when I think about how many women waited weeks for more information because their doctors were cowards who couldn't tell them, "There's something seriously wrong here." <span></span></p>
bad doctors<p>I'm not a doctor, but a RN. This happened to me, but isn't nearly as bad as most of the stories on here.</p><p>When I was in college, I got to where I couldn't swallow. It started with difficulty swallowing, progressed to me having to swallow bites of food multiple times/regurgitating it, and then got to where all I could swallow was broths and mashed potatoes with no chunks. I went to the doctor multiple times, and was told every time it was acid reflux and part of my anxiety disorder. <span></span></p>
The Valve...<p>He put the pacemaker lead in the subclavian artery (and across the aortic valve into the left ventricle). The proper approach is: subclavian vein to right ventricle). And then he didn't notice it for over a year. I saw the patient (a 25 yo woman who didn't need the pacemaker in the first place) when she was in congestive heart failure. <span></span><br></p>
Bitten<p>Rattlesnake bite. On a 2 year old. Patient and dad out in the fields near a small town that is several hours away from the nearest big city, where I work.</p>
When we think about learning history, our first thought is usually sitting in our high school history class (or AP World History class if you're a nerd like me) being bored out of our minds. Unless again, you're a huge freaking nerd like me. But I think we all have the memory of the moment where we realized learning about history was kinda cool. And they usually start from one weird fact.
Here are a few examples of turning points in learning about history, straight from the keyboards of the people at AskReddit.