People Explain How They'd Like Their Deaths To Be Celebrated

People Explain How They'd Like Their Deaths To Be Celebrated
cdn.pixabay.com

Picturing your own funeral can be an eerie and depressing exercise.

For some, though, the freedom to subject all your friends and family to your own morbid humor is an exciting idea.

These Redditors have no shortage of ideas regarding their hypothetical funerals.

Luckily, questions of legality or logistical possibility need not apply to this thread.

The result is a collage of ideas that take different approaches to a couple key factors of the parting ceremony: what happens to the actual body, and how funeral attendees ought to feel.

They’re often meant to be grossed ought, entertained, shocked, or some bizarre combination of the three

aroadcaptain asked, "Social/religious norms aside, how would you like your death to be mourned/celebrated?"

A Nice Mix

"New Orleans has a tradition of marching slowly to the graveyard, mourning. Then a ceremony and a dancing jazz party on the way back to the church, where food and drinks are. The party continues from there."

"I've always thought this is good psychology - mourn, but celebrate also."

-- Naweezy

Quick and Cheap

"After my death, just throw me in the trash." -- leiner240

"If it's summer time, I just hope you die close to garbage day...you'll want your family to remember you fondly after all." -- Bradiator34

"trashes to trashes..." -- michar

Taking Your Principles With You

"I want to become a tree. I don't want my family going broke after I die. If my 1st choice isn't an option, I want them to do something sustainable and affordable." -- jennybean2442

"I want to become Coral Reef!!" -- SamwiseEGangeefff

"Do you want haunted forests? Because this is how you get haunted forests." -- Throwaway726368

Epic

"I want to be dropped like 500 or so feet from the sky and wherever I land is just a surprise." -- pukichoo

"I think there's a funeral parlor that cremates your body and put the ashes in a big-a** firework and blows you up over the sky..." -- superciuppa

At Least Have the Decency to Cure It

"I want my body to be cured, stuffed with candy, and hung from the ceiling so the funeral guests can beat the candy from my dead body like a piñata." -- fxstfullofashes

"Hmmm a human jerky piñata. Nice." -- DerpyArtist

A Minor, Important Stipulation

"I want my remains to be scattered over Disneyland but I DO NOT want to be cremated." -- fu**ingham_green

"My spouse, a wildlife photographer, said that instead of spreading my ashes over my favorite part of Yellowstone that he'd throw me out limb by limb so he could get some amazing photographs." -- chickaboomba

Viking/Irish/Italian Burial Rites

"I'd love to be placed in a wooden ship soaked in gasoline and pushed into the sea while an archer shoots a fiery arrow from the bay."

"The people will then mourn me watching my ship on fire and crumbling into the sea while a bagpiper play a sad Irish music."

"Then, after a while people will start questioning the irish sad song since i'm italian but i will be gone forever, not to be bothered by them."

-- Xobark

Living Reputations Will Follow You

"When I die, I would like one of the following said about me at the service, and written on my tombstone."

"If I outlived the average life expectancy age: 'Late for death, as he was for most things in life.' "

"If I died before the average life expectancy age: 'Finally, something he wasn't late for.' "

-- AMN-

Educational

"I want my body donated to the Body Farm with one special stipulation."

"I want to be put in a car trunk and spring-loaded so that when some hapless grad student comes to check on my decomposition, my corpse pops out at them like a fermenting eyeless jack-in-the-box."

-- redmollytheblack

A Corpse That Keeps on Giving 

"I want them to take my bones and make me into one of those skeletons they always have in high school science classes."

"This is not in jest, I think it would be truly cool."

"I got the idea from a guy who lost his arm, and later had it taken to a taxidermist. It now sits on the mantle above his fireplace, a skeleton arm and hand."

-- FedMyNed


Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.

From Your Site Articles
funeral

People Explain Which Items Should Never Go In The Dishwasher

Items loaded in top rack of dishwasher
Photo by Mohammad Esmaili on Unsplash

We get it, we're all super busy, and sometimes it's really hard to get all the chores done around work and living our lives.

But there are appliances we can have in our home, like a dishwasher, that can make those chores much more convenient.

However, they could really ruin our day, too, if we use them incorrectly.

Keep reading...Show less
dishwasher

People Describe The All-Time Best Episodes Of Television They've Ever Seen

Person aiming a remote at a TV
Erik Mclean/Unsplash

TV enthusiasts could argue that shows on television are a more compelling and superior form for media entertainment.

A story arc can be played out to its fullest potential without shortchanging the audience with a two-and-a-half hour duration of a film.

While movies are in their own category, TV shows–including short miniseries–can engage an audience over a span of seasons as long as there is more stories to tell.

Some TV shows break away from the formula and can feature anthology–or standalone–episodes that are impressive in their own right.

Keep reading...Show less
tv

People Break Down Which Behaviors Scream 'I'm Insecure'

Woman scratching head
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Everyone has insecurities.

Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.

Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.

Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.

Keep reading...Show less
insecure

People Confess Which Things From Their Childhood They Thought Were Normal Until They Were An Adult

Two girls in a hammock
Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Every family has customs or traditions which are unique to them.

Be it all gathering together to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol every Christmas eve or an annual fried chicken picnic with dark and stormies every fourth of July. They are well aware not everyone does this, which makes it all the more special.

However, depending on the way it was introduced to them, some children are raised to think certain customs or habits done by their family are, indeed, normal.

Only to grow up and realize that theirs might have been the only family in the world which partook in them.

In some cases, this discovery is met with laughs and maybe the tiniest bit of embarrassment.

Other times, it's no laughing matter.

Keep reading...Show less
childhood