Love is so illusive for so many.
When we watch the people who have found "the one" who can't help but wonder... "How did you do that?"
For all the singles, and not in a desperate way, we wonder... is there something we're missing?
How do you find "the one?"
In this day and age love seems like an illusion or chess game.
I'm willing to play, but can I get the treasure map to navigate?
Redditor dkidontwatchAnimeto discuss life's most important issue... finding love.
They asked:
"People who have found the love of your life, how did you do it?"
I'm over it all, but not really. I'm willing to try many things. Enlighten me...
It's ME!!
Yay GIF by YoungerTVGiphy"Online dating. I essentially found a female version of myself by accident doing this and now have a 6 month old son with her." ~ Zealousideal_Hat4431
Hobbled
"I joined a class for people who had lost their way or were just struggling to get started in life, it was either that or I'd probably end up in jail. She was one of the classmates because she didn't know what to do with her life, She seemed too nice for someone like me so I wasn't trying to win her over but we spoke a bit, and found we got along quite well."
"One day I was messing around with a ball and showing off, I tripped and landed awkwardly knocking the foot out of place, tried to ignore it but the ankle started swelling up and teacher took me to hospital, came back a few days later for a charity event."
"But since I was in crutches I was just supposed to watch, another boy in the class was paired with her and she was clearly uncomfortable, I hobbled on over and took his place she was happy, I invited her for a drink and then we ended up going out that night."
"I was in a bad place at that point in my life but she helped me and fixed me up, we have 2 kids now and been together nearly 16 years, moving into a new house today, we've been through alot to get to this point but things are good." ~ Bigbadbobbyc
The Natural
"At a party of a mutual friend group. I was hanging out when he walked in. I knew this group for a couple years, but never met this guy. Turned out he lived in the next state over while he was in school. We were introduced and started talking. We ended up talking all night. It was the easiest conversation I ever had."
"It all felt so natural. Side note: There were many times when we should have met but didn't. When he lived in my state we worked next store to each other and he used to come in to my work all the time (coffee shop). And he was at several parties that I didn't attend."
"It's for the best because I had a boyfriend at the time and he was still in his 'bad boy' phase. A couple weeks later I get a message on Myspace from the guy. We start talking and decide to meet at the halfway point for a date. The rest, as they say, is history. Been in love ever since." ~ tiny_little_planet
Thanks Bro...
"He was friends with my brother. He was always super nice and was such a wonderful dog dad that I knew he would be a wonderful father. We had been hooking up and his roommate ended up getting a DUI and had to move back home from the college town they lived in. He needed a roommate to help pay rent so I moved in and never looked back. We’ve been together for 15 years now and he is the best husband and most amazing father to our two kids." ~ TalullahandHula33
The Crasher
Books Lol GIF by UdGGiphy"When I was 18, I heard a guy my age talking about books with his friend's at a bookstore closing (RIP Borders) and just… crashed his conversation. Six months later, we were engaged. We’ve been together for ten years now and have been married for half of it." ~ WitchoftheWords
Bookstores are dead. That was my dream. A handsome reader, who likes the smell of parchment.
Alone
Kate Mckinnon Flirt GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"By being myself and finding someone who does the same."
"If you and the other person are 100% truly yourself around each other and 100% enjoy every minute of it, you just may have found the one. Also, never try to change them. It will build resentment. Instead, work on accepting them and expect that they do the same." ~ HelpMePeez
I said, I guess so...
"We met in graduate school. I wasn’t interested in a relationship and wanted to concentrate on my studies. He said we can go out as friends, right? I said, I guess so... We found out we had a lot in common and had similar values and goals in life, not to mention the same career! Life has been good and I was lucky to find my best friend and soul mate. We’ve been married over 15 years and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, in this lifetime or any other." ~ mtn4444
32
"I found myself suddenly single at 31. Still single at 32 but after being in a long term relationship for years I was enjoying the freedom. A friend invited me her house warming party. Not long after I arrived I locked eyes with this guy and we both smiled. I am rather shy and it took me three attempts to get the courage to talk to him. Been together 18 year, married 16 and have 4 kids." ~ battleangelred
I Quit...
"We worked together. He sent out an email saying he was quitting. I always thought he was handsome so I emailed him saying we should meet up for a goodbye drink. Our company offered him more money and a better position in the company so he ended up not quitting."
"We met up getting a drink anyway. Neither of us were sure what we were for months. We got drinks after work and went on 'dates' but weren’t physical because we worked together. One day, we went hiking and then back to his house. It was a beautiful day and we were on the hammock."
"He kissed me and the rest is history. Soon after he moved in with me, we got engaged a few months later. We were married 3 months after we got engaged. We had our son the next year. We are very happy together and I am thankful for him everyday." ~ kristenleighgio
KISMET
Happy I Love You GIF by Minnie MouseGiphy"Took a pee in the ladies room and she walked in." ~ DeaddyRuxpin
At the Christmas Party
"I knew her younger sister, who invited me to a Christmas party at their house. (I was 16). The older sister was a tiny, pretty little blonde. Met her there, but she started going out with another friend. Three months later she dumped him. We all hung out at a open house meant to keep we juvenile delinquents off the street."
"Myself and four or five of my friends were standing in a circle outside, smoking... and she stepped out of the Hall. One of the guys pulled her into the circle (she was pretty, remember?) and we started pushing her guy to guy to guy.... around the circle. (we were 16, remember? lol)."
"When she got to me, she threw her arms around my neck, and wouldn't let go. Even I can take that hint! She was my first gf. That was in 1971. She is downstairs right now, drinking tea." ~ ThatNewOldGuy
Digits
"Just back from Vietnam, young airman, working at bowling alley to make ends meet. Walked around the corner and there was the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Today we are married for 45 years. Best thing that ever happened to me. My wife said I did cartwheels to attract her attention. Got my nerve up to talk to her. For an hour or so I found any reason to clean her already clean table. She said I was cute and gave me her phone number."
"The number she gave me was 8 digits long. I got mad and threw the phone number away. My manager picked the number up figured out what happened and gave me the good number. Come to find out she was as excited as I was and accidentally added one too many digits. The result we have been married for 45 years." ~ Emergency-Pangolin79
Hey Jen...
"I was 17 year old me working at the gas station/auto garage my grandpa owned. It was spring break week, so we were expecting heavy tourism traffic. Things were running along smoothly, when this Toyota Highlander pulled up. The dad and oldest daughter got out, and went inside. "
"I started pumping the gas, and checking the tires when Jen they came back in. I noticed the band on her shirt was my favorite band, so I simply just sang a line from one of my favorite songs by them. She looked my way, and finished the lyric. I took that as a sign that I should talk to this girl more. It was brief, but I got enough information to know where she was staying for the week, and a coffee date at 6pm that night."
"One date led to three more times seeing her before she left, and us deciding to do a long distance relationship. So many thought it would fail, and that we couldn’t do it, but as we get ready to celebrate our 20 year anniversary of our first date, we’re still proving the critics wrong." ~ Reddit
Open Heart
open your heart madonna GIFGiphy"It just happened. Find out what's most important in a partner to you. Don't waste your time on people who are way off what you find important. Stay positive and keep an open heart." ~ BXL01
‘casual encounters’
"Craigslist. I put an ad up in the non ‘casual encounters’ page and got one response. We emailed back and forth for a couple of days and then I asked her out that weekend. We went to dinner and it lasted like 3 hours. An older couple next to us asked us how long we’d been married. We told them it was our first date and the woman said we seemed so comfortable with each other. We’ve been together 9 years and married 6." ~ Anakorhil
The Circle...
"First I worked on myself by taking up hobbies and working out. This naturally built up my confidence. Then I expanded my social circle by going to meet ups. I met a couple people who I'd consider friends. Then I met friends of those friends. Before I knew it someone had come along who took an interest in me. We became fast friends and figured out we shared each others' values. She asked me out and we've been together for 4 years." ~ plasma_dan
16 years later...
"Completely by accident. We were friends in college. I thought he was cute, funny, caring and thoughtful. He had a girlfriend. So I let it go. Moved on, stayed friends, but secretly hoping. In the spring he and his girlfriend broke up. It hit him pretty hard. We hung out more. I kept inviting him to events to make sure he didn’t get estranged from the friend group."
"One day neither of us wanted to go our afternoon classes and we went to lunch instead. He insisted he pay for lunch. I counted that as a date. He did not. About 2 weeks later that I asked if he want to go on another 'date' and he was confused but agreeable. 16 years later. Married for 6. Happiest I’ve ever been. He’s still the man I fell for all those year ago. I will love him forever." ~ foxandsheep
Wallflowers
"Honestly, I always say he found me rather than the other way around. I was a wallflower at a social event my then-friend invited me to and promptly abandoned me at. Not knowing anyone else, I basically just sat in a corner and waited for it to end (my usual anxious go-to move)."
"My now-husband noticed and didn't want me to be bored and alone so he came over and just started chatting until we'd found a few commonalities. He asked for my phone number at the end of the event and just under 3 years later we got married! Amusingly, we were both actively trying to date online when we met, but were on different websites so never would have found each other that way."
"I'm just thankful my husband isn't afraid to talk to strangers, because I wouldn't have had the guts to start talking first. His advice is always start by asking simple questions about themselves, as it's easy for them to answer, most people like to talk about themselves, and you can gage how willing they are to keep chatting from there." ~ saileach
Stories
Sad Lonely GIF by PokémonGiphy"Any post here is going to make me happy for the person with the story. It’ll also make me sad because I no longer believe that something like that is in the realm of possibility for me any longer." ~ Karmachinery
Wine Crush
"I straight up messaged him on social media letting him know that I thought he was hot. I had a crush on him when I was in high school, thought he’d never know who I was (different schools), and years later I was a bit wine drunk and decided to shoot my shot. Absolutely worked in my favor, have never had a love like this." ~ belugawhalebih
I've learned it's all random. Be you. It's all we've got.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.