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Former Students Reveal The One "Incident" That The School Never Stopped Talking About

Every school has that one scandal that stays in the memory of teachers and former students; some of these are crazy, and honestly, you might find your high school was pretty boring, relatively.

TheCreeperFacedOne asked Reddit: What was 'The Incident' at your school?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


When hockey parents attend an Easter Egg Hunt, chaos ensues.

Easter Egg hunt, in 1998. I think five people were injured. One had to be taken by helicopter to the hospital. I was never really sure of the specifics, but apparently some of the parents were trying to cheat and find eggs for their kids, instead of letting the kids do it themselves. This led to arguments and things got out of hand.

Fortunately, no one died. And the school didn't ban easter egg hunts. It just banned parents from it.

Sablemint

This doubleheader. 

Newsworthy:

Our robotics coach (FRC) is currently under investigation for embezzling over $30,000.

Update: Verdict is in, complicit but not guilty. It was another exec, our PTA Liaison. Coach just signed the paperwork and ignored the problem. Final number is $40,000, but some of that is from PTSA not solely robotics. Still not sharing team number though.

Funny:


Someone got a sex toy from their secret Santa (both were dudes). This was a party, during lunch, at school, with the whole class in attendance. No adult supervision. Long story short, it turned into a free-for-all game of dodgeball until it got stuck behind a TV mounted on one of the walls. And there it sat, for 2 years, until a teacher found it - during an open house for incoming Freshman.

hcrld

Oh dear.

My freshman year of high school three deer broke a window and ran around inside the school until a teacher chased them out.

scoobydoobers

That teacher a legend.

Kyle2_6e

This is pretty unfortunate.

The football and track coach got impaled by a pole at the stadium as he turned around to say goodbye to a student while he was on his bike.

That was 5 years ago.

The coach? I was on his football team that final year. We didn't win a single that season. My dad forced me to do football, and Coach Adams could tell I was one of this kids, so he didn't care I never tried. He was the most nicest man from sports I ever met. I remember walking home, and he rode past me on his bike saying "Have a good night, insert my last name".

I also remember having to use his phone, because my dad took away my phone. And he was more than happy to help me out.

It sounds like I knew him really well, and despite him also knowing my older sister quite well. I didn't know, not at all.

I was just another kid on the team to him, but that didn't stop him from being super cool.

The last time I saw him in person, was turning in my gear in the morning.

I remember marching to his class, all proud. And he told me "If you decide you actually wanna do this again, you gotta get tougher!" And he said it in a way, that he was being cool about it, yet honest.

I remember saying "Sure thing", signing my name on the thing for the gear, and getting the hell outta there.

The last time, I sent him a message to get his media class for the second semester because I hated AVID. He told me to go talk to him, and I never did. I wish I did, then I could have actually been cool to him.

I remember going to school, and walking into first period. Seeing my SCIENCE teacher, who didn't know him, crying. I saw two other fellow athletes on the team, also crying. I remember thinking "Should I be crying?" I felt bad because I didn't.

Anyways, if you go into the yearbook for 2012-2013 and see his freshman team in the photo next to him. If you see number 65, we'll that's me.

Like I said, I didn't even know him like that. I was forced to be on his team, and I'm glad in the end I got to see his personality for myself. Some coaches are actually awesome.

[deleted]

Jeez, my high school was boring af.

Some of these are pretty tame compared to what I've been reading but here we go.

Senior prank 2009, four boys (all teachers' kids), cut down all the trees next to the high school. They didn't cut them all the way down, though. They pretty much just cut them in half. Cameras caught everything. They ended up being arrested, suspended, and unable to participate in graduation.

A girl got arrested in the middle of my senior history class for selling weed. Apparently, she dealt out of the handicap stall in one of the girls' bathrooms and hid her stash in the ceiling tiles.

Two pregnant girls (both probably around 7-8 months along at that point) found out they had the same baby daddy and duked it out in the hallway during passing period.

Edit: Not sure how I forgot this one:

A guy in my class had SEVERE anger issues. Anyway, GF broke up with him. Used to see him crying in class and in the hallways a lot, but no issues other than that to my knowledge. Then, she got a new boyfriend. One of his close football buddies. He lost. his. sh*t. Upon finding out, he immediately went to the class they were both in and tried to open the door, only to find that it was locked. So he punched through the security glass. His hand was cut up and bloody, but he still managed to open the door. Due to the quick thinking of the teacher, and his apparent sudden realization that he had royally f*cked up, he stopped his rage and the administrators and police officers were there before he could hurt anyone. We still aren't really sure what his intentions were, but he was suspended and had to do court-mandated anger management classes.

[deleted]

Nooooooo the poor chickens.

We had a chicken pen at our school. Big fence around it many chickens. We come to school one morning, and all the chickens have been beheaded as well as a couple birds which have been stoned to death.

SassyTheDrugAddict

Did they find out who did it?

566911

Of course this is in Florida.

Sophomore year: this tall, really strung out kid who I can best describe as a hybrid between a glam rocker and an emo kid was accused of getting into the locked bathrooms by the trophy case and fingerpainting with poop in said bathroom. Rumors also spread that he got the trophy case. People took pictures on their phones.

Junior year: We kept having brush fires due to Florida being in a perpetual drought. People claimed they found used condoms and chocolate sauce on the baseball diamond, which was one of the evacuation areas. There was also the gang of freshman girls who were lighting trash cans on fire with those sparkler birthday candles, causing mass hysteria and interrupting one of my classes when they lit up one of the trash cans in our hallway. Finally, there was the bomb threat where a crane got hit by a school bus in front of at least a thousand students while we were evacuating. The video spread like wildfire and the bomb threat was a "senior prank."

emelexista407

But abstinence only, right? Amazing that other Redditors knew who this was.

A girl got pregnant on the trip to DC.

standardalias

Was your school from Long Island?

qawsican

It was.

standardalias

The plot thickens.

BlobBoyOrigins

There are so many questions.

Two guys were smoking pot in a bathroom and somehow managed to set a toilet on fire.

PM_ME_ANY_MUSIC

Two guys were smoking pot in a bathroom and

They got caught? Meh, pretty lame story.

somehow managed to set a toilet on fire.

What the f*ck?

LordOfTheCheddar

Never underestimate a stoners ability to accidentally f*** something up.

thelonebard

Beats getting blown up.

We had 3 bomb threats my freshman year. First one was some angsty sh*t, and the last 2 were just because we got out of class all day with the first.

Specifically that first one was legendary, the school had NO plans or preperation for this event, so we all milled around the athletic field for 6 f*cking hours.

Edit: school was in southern Maine.

Effendoor

Hiding the D with an A.

In Elementary School.. the "incident" was when this kid named Alex stuffed paper towels into a soap dispenser and lit it on fire in the bathroom... the whole school was evacuated and major shit was to follow...

In Middle school... the "incident" was a well liked kid that most of us thought had it all, decided to commit suicide. It was very devestating to so many of us in the school and really brought home how you never really know what struggles the kid next to you is going through.

In High School... "The Incident" was that a semi-popular kid was regularly getting it on with a teacher... it wasnt well known, but was whispered about. A friend of my brothers' leveraged this to his advantage, telling the teacher on the day of the final exam... "I think I got an A in this class... because I know about you and My Friend, and I dont think you want anyone else to know"... He got the A.

wlane13

And his friend got the D.

sciencevigilante

Wonder where the kids learned this...

My junior year of highschool, some girl got in a fight with another girl over a boy. They fought in the cafeteria and their friends joined an it quickly turned into a riot. Police came, one of the girls got tasered and parents were called.

The kicker is all of the parents then went across the street to the gas station and started fighting before being arrested.

Gettin-By

Gee I wonder where the kids learned their conflict resolution skills...

Ibbity

This escalated quickly.

Kid kept crapping in his hand and writing messages on the bathroom wall with it. You'd be in class and hear "The north corridor bathroom on the second floor is now off limits" and you knew

Edit:Yes. Your school had one too. Yes you gave him a nickname. Yes it may be a sign of abuse.

[deleted]

The chamber of secrets has been opened.

Didsota

Enemies of the smear

BEWARE

[deleted]

You'll be next Mudbutts.

w8ulostme

This is awesome.

There were a few. But I think the best/worst one was when the senior class prank (vandalism) was to put weed/grass killer on the football field to create a giant dong.

It could be seen on google earth for years.

Edit: It wasn't the class I was in, just that it was A senior class.

[deleted]

That's actually hilarious.

pm_me_its_yourself

Um, with what? Test tubes? A real Heisenberg.

Someone was making a "meth lab" in their locker.

still_corn_tomorrow

Read this as "math lab" and thought you must have a really lame school for that to be 'THE INCIDENT.'

N8c2c

Someone was just doing way to much calculus.

still_corn_tomorrow

And was a graphing calculator dealer on the side.

SiTheGreat

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?