First dates are tricky. Unless you've known the person for a long time, this is your initial opportunity to get to know someone else on a personal, potentially-romantic level. What do you say? What can you ask? What do you do with your hands? How much wine is too much wine? These are all great inquiries to pose to yourself, but, what should you say to the other person?
Let's learn.
Reddit user, u/throwawayanyday101, wanted to know about:
What are some interesting questions to ask on a 1st date?
A Beautiful Start
season 3 homer GIFGiphyAbsolutely swear by it.. "what's your favorite dinosaur?" shatters the ice with someone that has a sense of humor. If it doesn't the person has a chip on their shoulder and cautious with the advance. May be a trap.
I remember asking a girl her favorite animal, and she said she hated animals so maybe dinosaurs because they're all dead. Completely serious.
Sometimes you can find red flags real quick with these questions.
Not A Journey You Want To Start With Someone
I drew her a picture of Professor Oak, three Pokéballs, and Charmander, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle. I asked her which one she liked. All she said was that it was a super-cute picture. She had no idea what Professor Oak, Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle were.
That should have been a giant red flag, but of course I missed it.
Tyrannosaurus!
Who is your favorite Power Ranger and why is [it] the Red Ranger?
Sounds super dumb but I like it because I can tell a lot of things based on her reactions.
Own Up To What's Happened Before.
If past relationships come up, instead of asking what their ex did wrong (which I'm sure they will cover), ask them how they think they could have handled the situation better and how they've grown from the experience. If they have trouble coming up with an answer, that's a red flag; you want a partner that is willing to admit when they f-cked up, and is willing to admit to their faults (past and present) and knows how they have/are working on them.
I learnt this from a guy I dated for a short time recently. He refused to admit any blame for anything that went wrong in the short time we spent together. This could've been predicted by the fact that he blamed his ex's for everything that contributed to the end of their relationship.
What Kind Of Fun Are We Really Talking?
what's the most fun you've had for free?
What's the most expensive fun you've had?
When's the last time you peed your pants?
Would you be willing to do it again?
Start With Questions, Then Follow
More important than having interesting questions pre-loaded is just asking follow up questions to things they talk about and showing curiosity in everyday aspects of their life.
With the "ice breaker" questions being thrown out in this thread, I think they can be fun if it's clear you realize you're being kind of silly by asking them. But very earnestly asking a date some random ice breaker question can give off an interview vibe.
More Importantly, Where Did You Find Those Coconuts?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
african or european?
Just Be Clear On This Last Part
What do you fantasize about regularly that doesn't involve sex?
Another Home Run
"What's your favorite quote?" Answers range from an inspirational mantra, some kinda pop culture reference, a line from an obscure song, and on and on. Can tell you a lot about a person by how they respond.
But what if she says "live, laugh, love"?
That's a red flag if I've ever seen one
This'll Weed People Out Really Easily.
the simpsons wizard GIFGiphyDo you prefer 5e Fighters to optimize a heavy weapon, Strength build or a lighter weapon Dexterity build? Do you see Charisma as a dump stat or do you find it useful for social skill challenges?
Finding Where The Passions Lie
What are you passionate about?
I like this because I think it's beautiful getting to see someone light up while they talk about the thing that means the most to them. Even better if it's something you feel similarly towards because it's a great thing to bond over. It also breaks the ice. I know when I start talking about my passion, I could go on forever. Before you know it you're comfortable and the rest of the date is smooth, not awkward, and you finish the night feeling closer to that person because the conversation after feels natural rather than forced.
It's also nice to be able to weed out the people who aren't going to care enough to listen or who can't carry on a conversation. I've had people nod along and they had no idea what I said and I've had people who were engaged in the conversation and truly cared about my words.
When It Makes Sense In Your Mind
My wife told me she went on a date once—a blind date, as I recall—and the guy asked her if she could be any rock star, which one would she be. She thought is was so silly and apparently the date didn't go well for other reasons. Honestly, I sort of felt bad for the guy. When she told me that, I thought, geez, that sounds like something I'd ask on a first date.
Let's Find Out Right Away
Is there anyone in your life right now that would be upset if they found out we were on this date right now?
Anywhere In Time And Space...Where Do You Want To Go?
If you could travel anywhere and to any time just to witness/experience one event, what would it be?
It's a cool ice breaker to use in general, not just on dates but also in group settings.
What Burns In Your Heart?
What's your passions? If someone asked me this, I'd end up talking about things I like, and if I'm talking about things I like, I'd likely have a positive association with the company who took interest. Plus it lets you know whether they geek out over things you find interesting, intriguing, or downright horrifying.
A True Peek Into Their Digital Soul
Ask them what their phone background is, it's a good way to find out what's important to them
Swing For The Fences
So... got any life regrets?
- my barber, the first time I ever visited him
Sometimes, It's Not As Hard As You Might Think
Homer Simpson Fox GIF by Animation DominationGiphyEvery first date I've had that's gone well, I didn't have to have a prompt of questions. Conversation just flowed naturally. As someone on the spectrum, it's incredibly rare for that to happen.
But, as a safety measure, never hurts to ask about jobs, pets, where they grew up, social security numbers, dates of birth...(might want to just stick with the first three, actually).
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Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
Instant adapability
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapes
GiphyYou know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphyEncouraging others
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulz
Why Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphyAn endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
