First dates are tricky. Unless you've known the person for a long time, this is your initial opportunity to get to know someone else on a personal, potentially-romantic level. What do you say? What can you ask? What do you do with your hands? How much wine is too much wine? These are all great inquiries to pose to yourself, but, what should you say to the other person?
Let's learn.
Reddit user, u/throwawayanyday101, wanted to know about:
What are some interesting questions to ask on a 1st date?
A Beautiful Start
season 3 homer GIFGiphyAbsolutely swear by it.. "what's your favorite dinosaur?" shatters the ice with someone that has a sense of humor. If it doesn't the person has a chip on their shoulder and cautious with the advance. May be a trap.
I remember asking a girl her favorite animal, and she said she hated animals so maybe dinosaurs because they're all dead. Completely serious.
Sometimes you can find red flags real quick with these questions.
Not A Journey You Want To Start With Someone
I drew her a picture of Professor Oak, three Pokéballs, and Charmander, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle. I asked her which one she liked. All she said was that it was a super-cute picture. She had no idea what Professor Oak, Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle were.
That should have been a giant red flag, but of course I missed it.
Tyrannosaurus!
Who is your favorite Power Ranger and why is [it] the Red Ranger?
Sounds super dumb but I like it because I can tell a lot of things based on her reactions.
Own Up To What's Happened Before.
If past relationships come up, instead of asking what their ex did wrong (which I'm sure they will cover), ask them how they think they could have handled the situation better and how they've grown from the experience. If they have trouble coming up with an answer, that's a red flag; you want a partner that is willing to admit when they f-cked up, and is willing to admit to their faults (past and present) and knows how they have/are working on them.
I learnt this from a guy I dated for a short time recently. He refused to admit any blame for anything that went wrong in the short time we spent together. This could've been predicted by the fact that he blamed his ex's for everything that contributed to the end of their relationship.
What Kind Of Fun Are We Really Talking?
what's the most fun you've had for free?
What's the most expensive fun you've had?
When's the last time you peed your pants?
Would you be willing to do it again?
Start With Questions, Then Follow
More important than having interesting questions pre-loaded is just asking follow up questions to things they talk about and showing curiosity in everyday aspects of their life.
With the "ice breaker" questions being thrown out in this thread, I think they can be fun if it's clear you realize you're being kind of silly by asking them. But very earnestly asking a date some random ice breaker question can give off an interview vibe.
More Importantly, Where Did You Find Those Coconuts?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
african or european?
Just Be Clear On This Last Part
What do you fantasize about regularly that doesn't involve sex?
Another Home Run
"What's your favorite quote?" Answers range from an inspirational mantra, some kinda pop culture reference, a line from an obscure song, and on and on. Can tell you a lot about a person by how they respond.
But what if she says "live, laugh, love"?
That's a red flag if I've ever seen one
This'll Weed People Out Really Easily.
the simpsons wizard GIFGiphyDo you prefer 5e Fighters to optimize a heavy weapon, Strength build or a lighter weapon Dexterity build? Do you see Charisma as a dump stat or do you find it useful for social skill challenges?
Finding Where The Passions Lie
What are you passionate about?
I like this because I think it's beautiful getting to see someone light up while they talk about the thing that means the most to them. Even better if it's something you feel similarly towards because it's a great thing to bond over. It also breaks the ice. I know when I start talking about my passion, I could go on forever. Before you know it you're comfortable and the rest of the date is smooth, not awkward, and you finish the night feeling closer to that person because the conversation after feels natural rather than forced.
It's also nice to be able to weed out the people who aren't going to care enough to listen or who can't carry on a conversation. I've had people nod along and they had no idea what I said and I've had people who were engaged in the conversation and truly cared about my words.
When It Makes Sense In Your Mind
My wife told me she went on a date once—a blind date, as I recall—and the guy asked her if she could be any rock star, which one would she be. She thought is was so silly and apparently the date didn't go well for other reasons. Honestly, I sort of felt bad for the guy. When she told me that, I thought, geez, that sounds like something I'd ask on a first date.
Let's Find Out Right Away
Is there anyone in your life right now that would be upset if they found out we were on this date right now?
Anywhere In Time And Space...Where Do You Want To Go?
If you could travel anywhere and to any time just to witness/experience one event, what would it be?
It's a cool ice breaker to use in general, not just on dates but also in group settings.
What Burns In Your Heart?
What's your passions? If someone asked me this, I'd end up talking about things I like, and if I'm talking about things I like, I'd likely have a positive association with the company who took interest. Plus it lets you know whether they geek out over things you find interesting, intriguing, or downright horrifying.
A True Peek Into Their Digital Soul
Ask them what their phone background is, it's a good way to find out what's important to them
Swing For The Fences
So... got any life regrets?
- my barber, the first time I ever visited him
Sometimes, It's Not As Hard As You Might Think
Homer Simpson Fox GIF by Animation DominationGiphyEvery first date I've had that's gone well, I didn't have to have a prompt of questions. Conversation just flowed naturally. As someone on the spectrum, it's incredibly rare for that to happen.
But, as a safety measure, never hurts to ask about jobs, pets, where they grew up, social security numbers, dates of birth...(might want to just stick with the first three, actually).
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Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"It wasn't."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate
catholic the exorcist GIFGiphyRetracing Steps...
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia
exercise push up GIFGiphyBad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist
uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphyAt Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100
Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphyNot The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343
dating app GIFGiphyIf anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.