First dates are tricky. Unless you've known the person for a long time, this is your initial opportunity to get to know someone else on a personal, potentially-romantic level. What do you say? What can you ask? What do you do with your hands? How much wine is too much wine? These are all great inquiries to pose to yourself, but, what should you say to the other person?
Let's learn.
Reddit user, u/throwawayanyday101, wanted to know about:
What are some interesting questions to ask on a 1st date?
A Beautiful Start
season 3 homer GIF
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Absolutely swear by it.. "what's your favorite dinosaur?" shatters the ice with someone that has a sense of humor. If it doesn't the person has a chip on their shoulder and cautious with the advance. May be a trap.
I remember asking a girl her favorite animal, and she said she hated animals so maybe dinosaurs because they're all dead. Completely serious.
Sometimes you can find red flags real quick with these questions.
Not A Journey You Want To Start With Someone
I drew her a picture of Professor Oak, three Pokéballs, and Charmander, Bulbasaur, and Squirtle. I asked her which one she liked. All she said was that it was a super-cute picture. She had no idea what Professor Oak, Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle were.
That should have been a giant red flag, but of course I missed it.
Tyrannosaurus!
Who is your favorite Power Ranger and why is [it] the Red Ranger?
Sounds super dumb but I like it because I can tell a lot of things based on her reactions.
Own Up To What's Happened Before.
If past relationships come up, instead of asking what their ex did wrong (which I'm sure they will cover), ask them how they think they could have handled the situation better and how they've grown from the experience. If they have trouble coming up with an answer, that's a red flag; you want a partner that is willing to admit when they f-cked up, and is willing to admit to their faults (past and present) and knows how they have/are working on them.
I learnt this from a guy I dated for a short time recently. He refused to admit any blame for anything that went wrong in the short time we spent together. This could've been predicted by the fact that he blamed his ex's for everything that contributed to the end of their relationship.
What Kind Of Fun Are We Really Talking?
what's the most fun you've had for free?
What's the most expensive fun you've had?
When's the last time you peed your pants?
Would you be willing to do it again?
Start With Questions, Then Follow
More important than having interesting questions pre-loaded is just asking follow up questions to things they talk about and showing curiosity in everyday aspects of their life.
With the "ice breaker" questions being thrown out in this thread, I think they can be fun if it's clear you realize you're being kind of silly by asking them. But very earnestly asking a date some random ice breaker question can give off an interview vibe.
More Importantly, Where Did You Find Those Coconuts?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
african or european?
Just Be Clear On This Last Part
What do you fantasize about regularly that doesn't involve sex?
Another Home Run
"What's your favorite quote?" Answers range from an inspirational mantra, some kinda pop culture reference, a line from an obscure song, and on and on. Can tell you a lot about a person by how they respond.
But what if she says "live, laugh, love"?
That's a red flag if I've ever seen one
This'll Weed People Out Really Easily.
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Do you prefer 5e Fighters to optimize a heavy weapon, Strength build or a lighter weapon Dexterity build? Do you see Charisma as a dump stat or do you find it useful for social skill challenges?
Finding Where The Passions Lie
What are you passionate about?
I like this because I think it's beautiful getting to see someone light up while they talk about the thing that means the most to them. Even better if it's something you feel similarly towards because it's a great thing to bond over. It also breaks the ice. I know when I start talking about my passion, I could go on forever. Before you know it you're comfortable and the rest of the date is smooth, not awkward, and you finish the night feeling closer to that person because the conversation after feels natural rather than forced.
It's also nice to be able to weed out the people who aren't going to care enough to listen or who can't carry on a conversation. I've had people nod along and they had no idea what I said and I've had people who were engaged in the conversation and truly cared about my words.
When It Makes Sense In Your Mind
My wife told me she went on a date once—a blind date, as I recall—and the guy asked her if she could be any rock star, which one would she be. She thought is was so silly and apparently the date didn't go well for other reasons. Honestly, I sort of felt bad for the guy. When she told me that, I thought, geez, that sounds like something I'd ask on a first date.
Let's Find Out Right Away
Is there anyone in your life right now that would be upset if they found out we were on this date right now?
Anywhere In Time And Space...Where Do You Want To Go?
If you could travel anywhere and to any time just to witness/experience one event, what would it be?
It's a cool ice breaker to use in general, not just on dates but also in group settings.
What Burns In Your Heart?
What's your passions? If someone asked me this, I'd end up talking about things I like, and if I'm talking about things I like, I'd likely have a positive association with the company who took interest. Plus it lets you know whether they geek out over things you find interesting, intriguing, or downright horrifying.
A True Peek Into Their Digital Soul
Ask them what their phone background is, it's a good way to find out what's important to them
Swing For The Fences
So... got any life regrets?
- my barber, the first time I ever visited him
Sometimes, It's Not As Hard As You Might Think
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Every first date I've had that's gone well, I didn't have to have a prompt of questions. Conversation just flowed naturally. As someone on the spectrum, it's incredibly rare for that to happen.
But, as a safety measure, never hurts to ask about jobs, pets, where they grew up, social security numbers, dates of birth...(might want to just stick with the first three, actually).
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Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
Professor burn…
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashot
Series 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
Bob Dylan…
“Bob Dylan: One day, I wish you'd be in my shoes, so you could know... what a drag it is to see you.” WhatDaufuskie
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
Firefly insults…
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
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Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
What The Body Does With Food
"Digestive system."
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
Fighting Gravity
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
Look, See
"eyesight."
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
See, Hear
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
Deaf GIF by memecandyGiphyThe degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
Counting Sheep
"The ability to sleep through the night."
– dabuku1
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
Maintaining Friendships
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
– cowanon7
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.