Formerly Homophobic People Reveal What Changed Their Mindset

Anybody can see the light, if they choose to.

It's 2019, and homophobia and transphobia is running rampant. Everyone assumed that when gay marriage was won in the Supreme Court the mountaintop was reached... this is not so. There is a silver lining, for every homophobe, there are two reformed homophobes. It takes meeting and accepting those we don't understand and shows change is possible.

Redditor u/sweet_kanra wanted to hear when the time came that people realized a few things about themselves that needed some reform by asking.... Previous homophobic people, when did you realize you were one and what changed your mind?

Beyblade Truth....


There's a serious tag on this post and I am being completely, one-hundred-percent serious: when I was a child, I read a Beyblade fanfiction about how homophobia was bad, and it made me realize that I had to rethink the way I viewed the world. I was maybe twelve at the time, so Beyblade was fairly influential to me. enjollras

It's Not Me.

I realized someone else being gay has nothing to do with me and realizing the hypocrisy behind claiming to hate racism while hating a demographic at the same time, for something they had no choice over. Furthermore, my niece come out as trans, I refused to let my ignorance dictate our relationship. DearestVelvet

I'm no Polly....

I was just parroting what other kids where doing. They were calling kids gay so I did it too.

There were some kids that were openly proud and I realized I was just being insecure.

Decided to have my own opinion. Spidercoffee

Bi the way....

When I realized I was following the teachings of the church without questioning it's ethics. Eventually, I saw documentaries about the LGBT+ experience of and realized the truth through compassion (a thing that most churches preach but don't practice).

Also, I suppressed my bisexuality back then because said religion condemns it. I'm embracing it now but I'm still not fully out. remooseloopin

Sorry Pops...


When I couldn't have my friend over for my birthday because she was black and my grandfather was racist. I realized he wasn't the shining beacon of wisdom I'd been raised to believe and he could be so so so wrong bc my friend was awesome. ValkyrieClaire

It's Me. 

I realized I was gay. This was WAY back when I was a teen.

Because I could easily see myself attracted to a man, being gay seemed more like a life choice. It was in the same thought category as stealing; 'sure, I could easily steal something, but its morally wrong.'

Then I realized that women weren't really doing it for me, and then it eventually clicked that this isn't a choice. squeeeeenis

It's not Easy....

My first college friend came out to me and I realized how incredibly vulnerable he was and how difficult it was for him to say; as well as how human he was. To my credit I just took care of him and that was that.

It took another year or so for me to be fully aware of how toxic my views were and another few years before I left Christianity altogether (agnostic now).

I don't know that I was truly homophobic but I definitely had some problematic ideas/beliefs.

I've done some serious ally work in the meantime (without making it about me), so I like to think I've made up for it. Hell, I'm a single straight dude living with a single gay dude and it's a non-issue. Kinmorn

The Idols.... 

It's like a common sense in my country that gay people are a joke because of the way they wear and walk and speak. We have tons of joke lines. Until I become a fan of several U.S. idols and activists that I realized that I was pure mean. I stopped joking about gay with my friends. miale92

Meet the World.... 

I was very naïve as a child. Growing up in a homophobic environment I just repeated what everyone else always presented to me as a fact and did not even dare to question it. Then at age 14 I went abroad on my own for a few months, where I could start over. I met different people, heard different opinions, and started to think for myself for the first time in my life. I finally understood that there's nothing wrong with being gay.

When I came back home with a changed and improved mindset, I started being very vocal about LGBTQ+ issues and how there's nothing wrong with any of it. Ruined my reputation of being the "quiet nerdy girl" and branded me as "that bloody SJW" instead.

Most of my friends stopped talking to me, but in return I met new friends who had similar opinions (half of whom later turned out to be queer too).

Oh, last but not least: I also met a cute girl and realized I'm actually bi. That was three years ago; we're dating now and went to a Pride parade together last week. iamprobablywriting

Willow & Tara... I'm still Shook! 


My dad had some pretty negative views/harsh words on that topic, so that's what I grew up being taught to think. Then when I was ~13ish I watched Tara and Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and thought "what the heck... there's nothing wrong with that."

Go Joss Whedon. ObsessiveAboutCats

LGBTQ+ Youth can get help through:

TrevorChat — 24/7/365 at

TrevorLifeline — phone service available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386

TrevorText — Text "START" to 678678. Available 24/7/365.

TrevorSpace — online international peer-to-peer community for LGBTQ young people and their friends at

Trevor Support Center — LGBTQ youth & allies can find answers to FAQs and explore resources at

Transgender people can get help through the Trans Lifeline at or call US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366


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