Fed Up People Reveal What'd They'd Do If They Were Donald Trump For One Hour
Can you imagine being the first billionaire president of the United States? What would you do with all of that power? We have some ideas.
You wake up as Donald Trump with a clock ticking down from 1 hour, after which you return to your own body. What do?
Share the wealth
Mail cash money to me at my address with a hand written note signed and sealed that he did it of his own volition.
Using Twitter for research
Tweet that the construction on the wall is completed, just to see how many people believe it and what reactions people have.
Give the title to all the property and life saving to my name
There is only one true answer here.
Steal the Declaration of Independence.
Tweet that I will issue a blanket pardon to anyone who commits tax evasion, and hashtag it "FTheIRS."
Have some fun!
I would give an hour long one man show on the white house lawn. Ribbon dancing in a sequin unitard, kareoke, make attempts at juggling with priceless historical objects, and then make myself vomit at the end by cramming my fingers down my throat.
Now this is a list
- Write myself a pretty nice check and throw it in the mail.
- Create the "Farmland Insurance Oversight Committee"
- Create a budget for the Farmland Insurance Oversight Committee of approximately 2 million.
- Appoint myself as the Director of the Farmland Insurance Oversight Committee making $295,000.
- Appoint a good friend as the Assistant Director of the Farmland Insurance Oversight Committee making $200,000.
- Revert back to myself.
- Write a letter thanking him for his confidence in my abilities.
- Go to work!
S*** talk Putin as much as I can.
going all the way
Invite all of the press for a conference in 50 minutes, spend it prepping. Then walk out, right at the ten minute mark, 3 lit joints in one hand and a wad of cash in the other, wearing nothing but a rainbow sock. Announce that I'm reversing all my executive orders, there is no such thing as fake news. When I see the ten second mark I'll rip off the sock, and start throwing out money while vigorously hip thrusting at the crowd.
Test the news
I'd literally tweet, "I AM ABOVE THE LAW", just to see how Trump supporters and Fox News desperately try to spin it.
Release my tax record.
Upon coming to grips with these changes, I would immediately call an emergency press conference. There wouldn't be much time, but I only need a couple seconds to do what I'd like to do.
In front of the reporters, I'd remove my toupe revealing the zipper underneath. I show it to the amassed reporters, confirming that it was, in-fact a zipper. I'd bring the zipper down unveiling my host's reptilian face.
This is likely to cause a bit of a shock, giving me enough time to crawl through the neckhole of the mansuit and scurry off.
Change his twitter password and then sign out
Resign and start tweeting about how much I'm going to miss Pence after resigning and returning to Manhattan, all the while vaguely suggesting there are tapes.
The truth hurts
Record and post to his twitter a video. In the video i would say that I woke up in the Body of Donald Trump and I only have 50-some-odd minutes left before i revert back and the real Donald takes back over. I'd tell the truth. I'd tell the truth and people would think he's insane.
I mean, I think he's insane but even Fox news would think he's insane after that.
With only an hour, I wouldn't bother trying to pass a bunch of laws, I'd just make it abundantly clear that I was unfit for office.
So I'd probably strip naked, cover myself in messy food (ketchup, etc) and run through the streets screaming insane things about how I'm the biggliest leader in the world, and then try to order something from the McDonalds drive-through. I'd also demand access to the "football", claiming that I wanted to launch a nuclear strike against Middle Earth.
Keep them guessing
I'd just doing odd things.
Like buying a bunch of goats and having them sent to random people in the United States. or doing a public announcement declaring martial law against all fidget spinners, none with escape us. Tweet really cryptic tweets like "They need to know 100101110010100102541 it's not to late"
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